//------------------------------// // Episode 38: Never Meet Your Idols...(Cutting the Funds Part 3) // Story: Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 3: Tyrants, Terrorists, and Tiaras, Oh My! // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// Opening Theme: Master of Shadow's Comment Protomane's Comment All of your body parts stiffen up and you fall over as you realize the fact that you are locked in a room with Sapphire Shores. THE Sapphire Shores. OhMyGosh! OhMyGosh! This is the "BEST! POSSIBLE! THING! Calm your hormones you spazz! "Oh No, are you OK sugar?" asks the pop star as you convulse on the floor. Of course I'm alright! I'm amazing! I'm awesome! I'm in the same room as you! you think but all that comes out of your mouth is a squee. Bugze, seriously, calm down, Selena implores. Concerned, she grabs a bucket of ice used to store cider on you to get you up. "OH Geeze that's cold!" you shriek as you stand up. "Sorry baby, I thought you were having a seizure or something, wouldn't be the first time somepony's done that in my presence and uhhhh..." she trails off as she sees the pool of drool on the ground leading back to your mouth. "Uh...you sure you're OK?" Sapphire's voice snaps you out of your drooling state as you quickly say, "What!? Who!? I'm not drooling, you're drooling!?" Noticing Sapphire's blank look you cough nervously before saying, "I uh...I mean I'm good." Sapphire just gives you a confused look before she says, "Right...well I'll just ignore that that ever happened," she giggles. You nod your head in embarrassment, before you quickly realize that you are still in the same room with her, and that maybe you should play it cooler. BrownDog's Comment The Rutherford's Comment “Can I please have your autograph?!” You mentally facehoof yourself. THAT wasn’t the one thing, or playing it cool! She smiles at that, “Sure thing sugar,” and walks over to a desk and pulls out a picture of herself and a pen and starts taking her time. Oh my gosh, I'm actually going to get an autograph from her and- Bugze! The messenger! OH! Right! "Um, look I don't know what all this is, but I kind of gotta-" She finishes signing the picture, gives it a kiss and gives it to you. OHMYLUNA…. You fangasm as you immediately stick the picture into your inventory and forget what you were going to say. Sapphire Shores Signed Photo Added. “Now then sugar, now that that’s out of the way, we can-“ she begins. “No wait a minute! What’s going on here? That’s the first thing I should have asked,” you cut her off. “Well, I wanted to talk with you alone, I mean, you think we’ll be able to talk after the stunt you pulled on stage?” “Well…no, not really…So what is it? Why do you want to talk to me?” “Why do I…? You’re the Hooded Offender! Who wouldn’t in their right mind want to talk to one of Equestria’s greatest heroes?” “Well I can think of about 8 at the top of my head, and…wait a minute, you think I’m a hero?” “Well of course sugar. Truth be told, I used to be a member of The Manehattan Horde,” she says with a smile. “You were?” “Well not actively, but I’d drop by every now and again for a group chat. Everything was going good till them nutjobs in Fillydelphia ruined everything,” she snarls. “Yeah…Fillydelphia made a lot of things bad…” you admit. “Well after that horribleness, every horde organization disbanded and talking about you has kind of become a bit of a taboo in the social circles. I honestly don’t know why. Even if what happened was tragic, you still saved all those ponies from those explosions.” You briefly flash back, but the pain and guilt, it’s not as strong as it once was. You don’t say anything to her though because it wasn’t you who saved those ponies, it was The Doctor. She doesn’t seem to notice though as she continues on. “And then nopony’s seen hide or tail from you for so many months, but here you are now in the flesh. You think it’s an honor to meet me?...Well it is, let’s not kid ourselves, but you sir, I am honored to meet you.” “I…thank you. You have no idea how long it’s been since I’ve received genuine praise.” “I don’t doubt it sugar,” she…purrs? "So what brings you to my concert, that much of a fan?" she adds. "Oh, Right. Well as a former Horde Member, you already know about the remnants of the Fillydelphia Nutjobs. Well one of those Crimson Knights is here and I came to stop him." She gains a surprised look on her face. "So there's a terrorist here? At the concert?" "Oh no no, he's somewhere in the city, but one of his buddies is here right now. And I'm out to catch him!" you declare. "Are...are they going to do something to the concert?" she asks in even more worry. "I don't think so, the suspect seems to actually be an avid fan of Da Colts out there, I just tracked them here by chance." She calms down and smiles at that. "Well, that makes me feel a bit better. Then again, I'd like to see one of those weirdos try to do something. I'd beat them down with my martial arts moves," she giggles. "Oh you know martial arts? Which one?" "The fighting art of dancing, sugar. It is dangerous being a celebrity. I have to find some way to defend myself after all," she smiles. "Ssssoooo Cooooolllll," you say aloud causing her to giggle. You then snap out of it. "Alright, well it was nice talking to you and all, but I think I really should go back out there," She stops you from moving towards the door however as she says, "Wait, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about." "Uhhh, like what?" you ask. "Well, I got you back here because meeting you in person…I don’t know why, but it’s like we’ve met before, but I know we haven’t. Do you know what’s up with that?” You give her a confused look, to which she sighs before saying, "It... it just feels like we've met before but, I'm not so sure at the same time," she says as she paces around the room. "I feel like I should be... grateful? It's weird, I know!" She stops pacing and looks at you. "I didn't expect the Offender to be this quiet." You were so quiet because while she was pacing the room you got glances at her nice bottom in her skin tight outfit. When she looks at you it snaps you out of it. "Oh! Uhh... sometimes I just stay quiet to, uhh..." Be a pervert? "Think?" "Yes! That! To think! Um... you were saying?" "Oh, yes! As soon as I saw you, I felt safe for some odd reason. Like I've been saved by you before. But I'm sure I wasn't...unless I was drunk or something?" The best you can figure is that somehow she’s getting flashes of what her dead doppelganger saw and felt, just like how Cadance seemed to wince at your appearance, or how Solarkness and Rutherford were able to write that story. You’re not sure on how any of this is possible since you’re not The Doctor, so how could you possible explain that to her? “I’m…not sure Ms. Shores-“ “Please call me Sapphire,” she says fluttering her eyelashes causing you to seize up for a moment. “-Sapphire. But maybe you’ve just hyped yourself up in your head so much, it feels like you’ve met me?” you pull out of your flank. “Maybe…maybe I have hyped you up as a big, strong, sexy stallion all these years,” she says as she grips your leg feeling it up. "Guess the Hype was real..." “Umm…what’s going on here?” you ask suddenly nervous as you back up. “Well what’s it look like sugar?” she says as she places a hoof on your chest and starts encircling it. “You don’t mind do you?” “Duuuuuuhhhhh…” you say as you freeze in shock. “I mean, Da Colts can hold their own for a good half hour or so, and if that terrorist is a fan, we got some time…” Blood shoots out of your nose as you fall onto the couch. “Wh-wh-wh…” you fail to be coherent. “I was planning on having some fun with the lead singer of Da Colts after the show, but why settle for a colt when I can have a big strong stallion?” she whispers as she leans over you. And your brain crashes at that. Kersey's Comment Bu-She-I. Sapphire Freaking Shores is hitting on me! Bugze! We don't have time for this! Get this whorse off of you! It's Sapphire Shores! I know I usually say I'm saving it for marriage, but come on, this should be an exception! She's a celebrity! Bugze! Go through with it. Indulge your vices cockroach. You shut your mouth! Why should I? This turmoil is delicious. Shut up! Bugze! Get out right now and- Ignoring you both! you scream in your mind as you whip out a sedative syringe and jam it into you neck. 9 Sedatives Remaining WHAT?! Did you just... she starts but you block out her voice as you focus on Sapphire in front of you. "Did...did you just stick a needle in your neck?" she asks. "Uh, yeah. Sorry. Kind of need it for when I get too excited," you lie. She seems to buy this explanation as she continues to feel you up. Oh wow, oh wow. Fantasy Number 8 here I come! you squee. Meanwhile In Your Head Basadre’s Comment Protomane's Comment "WHAT?! Did you just take the drugs?! Bugze you idiot!" Selena roars in anger as she quickly summons up Sombra's cage and focuses. "NO! You are not making me a babbling moron again!" he yells as he grips the cage bars. "You want a bet cretin?" she asks as her magic glows, focusing the hallucinogens away from You and blasting them directly into Sombra. "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOoooooooooooo...The word no, simply two letters long, and yet so many different meanings can come about from it..." he monotones. Selena takes a moment to catch her breath as that took a lot of energy to keep both you and her from feeling the effects. "Gibber on you fool. And speaking of fools. BUGZE! Why would you..." she starts before looking through your eyes and seeing Sapphire Shores's face getting dangerously closer and closer. "I...You...You stupid..." she seethes. "Bwahahahahaha," Sombra giggles, clearly enjoying himself. "What's so funny?" Selena snaps back at him. "Oh nothing, just the thought of your bug squeeing over some other mare is all, bwahahahahahaha!!!." Selena just glares at him and grumbles angrily to herself. Back in the Real World Kersey's Comment You are focused intently on one of the Hottest Mares on Equis who is, for lack of a better word, giving you a lap dance. Grandbuggy, if I ever find you again, I am so going to bring this up! I mean, how could I ever be THIS lucky? However, as she continues to feel you up, you find out the hard way that wanting is better than having; "I know you've been waiting for me, I'm waiting too." "Oh yeah..." "In my imagination I be all up on you." "Uh-huh..." "If there's a camera up in here then it's gonna leave with me when I do" she says standing up and pointing. "Yeah- Wait, what?" you say shocked. "If there's a camera up in here then I'd best not catch this flick in the press..." she points accusingly at you. "I guess you have to take precautions when you're famous, but you're kinda killing the mood right now, you wanna get back to the-" "Cause if you run your mouth and brag about this secret rendez-vous, I will hunt you down." "Okay..." you say as you get up from the couch. "This has gotten awkward, I'm gonna go now because you are clearly cra-" "Cause they be all up in my business like a fast food interview." "This is NOT how I pictured this moment in my fantasies!" you wail. Sapphire just gives you a freaky smile that quite frankly makes you want to run for the hills and never listen to her music ever again. "Well reality is so much better sugar, now come on. Sit back down, take your cloak off and give your hostage some company..." she says with that freaky, not seductive at all looking smile. Hearing her say that triggers something in your brain finally. “Wait, that reminds me. I kind of couldn’t think for a moment, and maybe I should have asked this before but, WHY DID YOU TELL EVERYONE THAT I KIDNAPPED YOU?!” you shout. “Well come now sugar, who doesn’t like a bit of drama? It’s like that time Countess Coloratura had that “cat fight.” Both of our albums were through the roof the next day. But you're bigger than her any day of the week.” “So wait, did you seriously stage this “Kidnapping” and “Soirée” JUST so that your popularity would increase?” you ask her incredulously. “Well, yes and no. I did want to talk to you alone, but the audience was staring at us. So I took the opportunity to make an awkward situation SENSATIONAL for everyone!” she says with stars in her eyes. “But now ponies are going to think I’m some sort of kidnapper and pervert now! I’ve already got a list of charges against me, and I don’t need this!” “Oh come now, all exposure is good exposure in the news,” she says with a hoofwave. “NOT FOR ME IT ISN’T!” “Well come now sugar, I’m not the one who decked Royalty, douchebag though he may be, onto my stage. You should be thanking me, and I know a few ways you can thank me,” she says beckoning you back to the couch. Oh how you want to feel like a few moments ago when you thought you could lose yourself to the bliss, but this self serving selfishness, her freaky song, and drama kind of kills the mood for you, overriding your primitive brain. Goodbye fantasy Number 8… “Sapphire Shores, I’m still a big fan, you're very attractive... but I can’t do this. I’M SAVING IT FOR MARRIAGE!!!” you cry out as you slam headfirst into the door, knocking it off it’s hinges and running down the hallway away from her. “What? Where are you going? No one can resist me. I’m Sapphire freaking Shores!” she yells angrily, but you make it around the corner, and out of a side exit into an alleyway where you quickly decloak and put back on your CV disguise. “Alright, not wearing you anytime soon…again,” you say as you stuff it back into your bags. Inside you hear a shout of, “I’ll get you for this Hooded Offender! You hear me?! I’ll show you what it means to turn down Sapphire Shores!” Not wanting to stick around for that, you head out to the streets, keeping a wide berth of the bouncers. Alright. That was a disaster. Guess I should have listened to you after all eh Selly? She doesn't respond. Heh heh, yeah, who'd have thunk trying to give into my perversions would be so bad huh? Still no response. And...sorry about trying to drug you and- I'm not speaking to you right now you ass. You wanted your alone time? Well you have it now. Leave me alone, she huffs. Oh come on. I'm sorry alright? Alright? Selena? All you hear is the faint drugged giggling of Sombra. Well great, now I got two mares angry at me...or maybe 4... you think as you realize you kind of just left Nightshade and Aqua in there alone. You facehoof over the mistakes you've made tonight and all the apologies that will have to follow. “Crud. Alright, I'll make it up to her later, right now I just need meet up with Nightshade and Aqua somehow and maybe, just maybe we can still find the messenger and,” “Hi daddy,” Nightshade in her disguise calls out from another alleyway. You look over and see her and Aqua and Mangle standing there. Aqua is giving you an incredulous look while Nightshade is…eating a Polka Dotted Lollipop. You rush over to them. “Have fun with the pop star?” Aqua asks with a smirk. “No actually, you know you put someling on a pedestal and they still disappoint you in the worst ways possible…anyway, what’s with the lollipop, did you find the messenger?” “Uh-huh,” says Nightshade who points behind them to the sleeping tied up grey unicorn mare in the Da Colts shirt. “How did you…?” “Well after you kidnapped Sapphire Shores, we watched a little of Da Colts, soooo cool," "You did a lot more than just watch kid," Aqua smirks. "Heh heh, yeah..." she chuckles and rubs the back of her head. "Wait, what? What did you do? Did you cause damage to the show or something?" "No, nothing like that she....well..." Kichi's Comment FLASHBACK After you "Kidnapped" Sapphire Shores, Da Colts began to sing and dance causing the fans to forget about what just happened. Aqua and Nightshade saw the Messenger with the Lollipop moving through the crowd as she headed towards the exit, but when their catchiest song began, she stopped, turned around and began cheering at the top of her lungs. Aqua, Nightshade and Mangle stopped to not seem suspicious. It's then that Nightshade realizes how close to the stage she actually is. She becomes mesmerized by the cute guys on stage with their angelic voices and in that moment. Nothing else mattered. The only important thing was the colt band. "Come on kid, focus," Aqua tried and failed to make you turn away, but you couldn't. Luckily, as the song ended, the messenger didn't move on, so Aqua stuck by your side. It was then that the lead singer said to the crowd. "Uhhh, well... Since we have some time before Sapphire gets back, we are going to invite somepony to the stage to sing with us." The fans begin to scream maniacally in happiness as the lights go out. A spot light then rakes across the audience who all yell to be picked. Nightshade screamed along with all the fanfillies, but she decided to stand out from the crowd by holding up Mangle who's screeching was unique. This, surprisingly, worked. The spotlight fell onto Nightshade and Mangle "Well, congratulations to the lucky filly and her awesome looking toy, come on up!" says one of the colts smiling. Nighsthade's heart skipped a few beats as she stood mesmerized, before she finally squealed and got up on stage with her pet. Looking around, she saw Aqua looking flabbergasted, but at the same time, she still saw the Messenger in the crowd, watching the stage like all the other fans. "Okay, then little filly, as professional singers we'll sing with you whatever song you want," one of the colts told her. "Really? Any song?" she asked. "Of course, go on, sing from the heart." Nightshade smiled, nodded. She then plugged a speaker line into Mangle and before the colts could even comprehend what was happening, Nightshade began to sing The colts didn't know how the music was coming from the robot fox, but inspired by the how Nightshade was singing in perfect Neighponese, they began to join in, and the fans ate it up. As the lights and special effects began to increase as the tempo of the song got higher and higher, a ghostly image of wings and a horn shone as she sang, causing all to be mesmerized and cheer louder. As the song finished on a high note with Da Colts lifting you up to applause, shouts of, "Encore! Encore!" could be heard. "Wow... Just... Wow... Congratulations little filly..." FLASHBACK END "Wait. Did that all actually happen?" you ask in amazement, and a bit of apprehension. "Eyup. And then the Colts wanted her on stage for the rest of their songs, but by then the Messenger began to move," Aqua adds in. "So yeah, luckily there was this filly that looked like my disguise just standing off to the side with a weird look in her eye, so I did the ol switcheroo. I think she's still standing there," Nightshade muses. "Oh. Well nice singing Nightshade. But I told you not to get too close to Colt Bands. And you really shouldn't draw attention to yourself like that," you chide. "Oh like you're one to talk daddy," she huffs. "Yeah...good point," you say nervously. "But yeah, after that what happened? How'd you get her?" BrownDog's Comment "Me and Aqua tracked her down in the hallways and I Luna Plushied her and all the surrounding guards” She says and points to Mangle holding the Luna plushie. “What? How? I thought that was still in my bag?” “Well you never really use it anymore, so I thought I could add it to my arsenal. I took it out when I got mangle out,” she admits. "Well you should have asked. Hoof it over," you say. She sighs and does so. Luna Plushie Re-Added to Inventory. “After that she and I then took our “Drunk Friend” here right out the main gates. We only now just tied her up. “Oh…well that was surprisingly easy.” “Except for the part where you attacked a public figure in front of millions of ponies.” “Yeah…except for that. But in my defense, I saw him and his bodyguards about to pounce on the scared shaking filly that looked like Nightshade’s disguise. “Scared Shaking…DADDY! I’m not 1 anymore! What makes you think I would just seize up for Prince No Balls?” “Well I obviously wasn’t thinking clearly honey!” you counter. "I can see that. I told you not to put the cloak on." "I know, I know. You were right baby. You were right. I'm sorry." "Thank you. But since I helped capture this lady, can I get a bit of the reward money?" she asks hopefully. "Yeah, sure. Fine, whatever you want honey." "Alright!" she cheers and hoofbumps Mangle. Rolling your eyes, you put the passed out messenger into your Prison Bags. "Alright, let's go somewhere private to talk things out with our friend." LATER You all then head to the other side of town, as far from the concert as you can. You all pile into a motel room, and Aqua uses a soundproofing spell on it. You take the Messenger out of the bag and tie her to a chair with duct tape and manacles. You then have Nightshade and Mangle get into their room and you turn down the lights, pointing a lamp at the tied up prisoner. "Alright Aqua, wake her up." Aqua nods and water bends some cold water into her face. She spasms and splutters. "*Cough* What! Huh?! What's going on? Where am I? Who's there?" she asks as the light blinds her from seeing you two. Turning the switch to intimidating, you speak to her. "You're in no position to be asking questions lady." Hearing your voice, she gaps and stays quiet. "Besides, I'm pretty sure you know why you're here." You pause for dramatic effect before you say, "We'd like to have a word with you about Kersey." Her eyes briefly twitch, but you do catch it. Smiling to yourself you say, "It's Interrogation Time!" WHAT DO YOU DO? Outro: