//------------------------------//
// Don't Worry, Be Harpy 
// Story: The Dusk Shine Anomaly 
// by H3lios 
//------------------------------//

Rainbow Dash was in heaven, or at least the closest she could get to heaven without actually dying. Sitting in her pro-gamer chair, a fresh hot pizza on her left, a cold can of Dr. Pibb on her right and nothing but a weekend with no responsibilities ahead of her. In front of her was her prized 70 inch 4k Crystalvid. Rainbow didn't know what a 'k' was but this baby had four of them and high def surround sound. 

In her hand was a controller with which she would be playing her new favorite game, 'Damned'. Apparently it was a remake of a really old game that she'd once played on her dad's old machine but this one was sooo much better. Fighting endless hordes of monsters and zombies in an abandoned military base in Tartarus with fists, shotguns and chainsaws? Yes please! Rainbow powered up the game and grinned with satisfaction as the electric guitar music blared over the speakers. 

It was about thirty minutes into her play session after a particularly satisfying kill with the rocket launcher that she felt a vibration in her pocket. Sighing, she paused the game and reached into her pocket to pull out a small transparent peace of glass. Glancing at it, she saw a number that she didn't recognize flash on the surface as the glass continued to vibrate. "Sorry, don't know ya," she said as she ran her thumb to the left across the surface to stop the vibrating. Placing the object back in her pocket, she resumed playing. 

About five minutes passed before she felt the vibrations again. Once again, she paused the game, taking a drink of her Dr. Pibb while checking her glass. It was the same unknown number as before. Rainbow rolled her eyes, "some people just can't take a hint." Setting the glass down on the side table, she decided that now was as good a time as any for a bathroom run. 

Another few minutes passed when Rainbow returned from the bathroom, drying her hands with a paper towel. Looking back at her gaming area, she noticed that her glass was once again, glowing and vibrating. "I swear if that's the same guy..." she said angrily. She tossed the paper towel and marched over to her glass. Picking it up she looked and saw that it was indeed the same unknown number as the last two times. "Ok, that's it!" she said while swiping her thumb to the right across the surface.

"Listen!" she said, holding the glass up to her face, "I don't know who this is but if you call here one more time I'm gonna get my egghead friend to trace this number so I can come over there and kick your ass!"

"Ha, as if you could, Rainbow Dork," said a very familiar voice on the other end. 

Rainbow paused for a moment, her eyes widening, "G-Gilda?"

"Humph, so all those head injuries haven't damaged your memory. Damn, guess I owe you a drink."

"Gilda! Holy crap I haven't seen you since flight camp!" Rainbow said excitedly as she let herself fall on a nearby couch. "How've you been you bird brain!"

"You know me Dash, breaking hearts and takin names." 

"Ha, yea right."

Rainbow was awash with memories of her teenage years from not even a decade past. She had just enrolled in flight camp after turning fourteen. On her first day she came across a group of three seraphim boys and a creature she'd never seen before. It was a girl, that much was certain, and around the same age as all the other kids but she looked like a cross between a bird and a person. Her arms were covered in feathers and jointed in the same manner as a bird's wings. Her legs were also strange, from her knees down, they resembled eagle talons with three long claws in front and one in back. 

Rainbow flew down towards the group and overheard some of what the three boys were saying to he girl. Things like, "look at that freak, she looks like a bird," and "how did you put your clothes on with those hands? Did your mommy dress you?" The strange looking girl was trying to fight back with her own verbal barbs but it was clear she was losing by the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

If there was one thing Dash hated most, it was bullies. "Hey!" she called down, "at least her mom is able to stand looking at her long enough to be able to dress her. I'll bet your mom can't even stand to change your diapers."

The group all turned to look at her. She fluttered in front the the group of boys with her arms crossed. The lead boy spoke up, "well, well, if it isn't Rainbow Crash, what did the gay pride parade finally decide to get an actual flag?" He snickered and the boy to his left high fived him.

"Yea they did, I saw your dad hang it up myself."

"Pift, whatever. C'mon boys, lets go check out some of the hot new babes. We'll leave the chick to Rainbow Crash here." The three of them flew away laughing.

Rainbow walked up to the strange girl who had her back turned, presumably to discreetly wipe her tears. "Hey," Rainbow said, clasping a hand on the girl's shoulder, "my name's Rainbow Dash, what's yours?"

"Gilda," the girl said, "I totally had that under control by the way but still... thanks"

"No prob. Say if you don't mind me asking, what are you? I've never met anyone with wings like yours."

Gilda hesitated for a moment but relented when she saw the genuine curiosity in Rainbow's eyes. "I'm a harpy, we usually live out east, across the Celestial Sea." 

"Sweet. Say, you wanna hang out?" For the next four years, every summer, the two would meet up at flight camp and spend the whole six weeks together. Where one went, the other followed.

"Yoohoo, Dash, you there?" Rainbow was snapped back to the present by Gilda's voice.

"Yea, I'm here, just space out for a moment, heh. So, Gilda, where are you roosting these days?"

"Actually that's why I called, I'm in Canterlot right now, checking out the local scene."

"No way!" Dash yelled, "that's like an hour from where I am. You better swing by Ponyville before you leave or I'll come find you and drag you here myself."

"Ha, as if I'd miss a chance to remind you what a real flyer looks like. I'll be coming in tomorrow, we'll spend the weekend together. It'll be just like old times."

"Sounds like a plan, I'll see ya then. Later Big G." Dash laid the glass back on the table and did a fist pump, this weekend had just gotten twenty percent more awesome.


***


A soft popping noise signaled Dusk's arrival in the park clearing as he appeared out of thin air. Once again, he stumbled forward, falling on his hands just outside the small target area he'd painted on the ground earlier. "Grrr, that's the fifth time. Why can't I land where I'm aiming?"

Dusk was distracted from his thoughts by the sound of Pinkie Pie humming a jovial tune as she bounced toward him. "Hiya, Dusk! Whacha doing?" she asked happily.

"Trying to figure out why my teleporting spell keeps landing just outside of where I'm aiming," he answered looking back at the target on the ground. "I swear its like the spot moves right when I make the jump."

"Are you factoring in the rotation and orbit of the Earth?" Pinkie said completely casually.

Dusk blinked, then blinked again. Pinkie simply smiled as if she hadn't just solved a problem that had been gnawing at Dusk for the past week. "You know what, I'll get back to that, so what are you doing here?" 

"Looking for Rainbow Dash," she answered nonchalantly. 

"Oh, I think that's her right up there," Dusk pointed to a cloud above the park on which a leg could be seen dangling off the side.

"Rainbow!" Pinkie yelled, "Hey Rainbow Dash!"

Up on the cloud, Rainbow was relaxing peacefully in her favorite sky blue t-shirt and cargo shorts when she heard Pinkie's calls. "Ugh," she rolled her eyes, "what is it, Pinkie?"

"I need a favor!" Pinkie called up.

"Can it wait? I'm waiting on an old friend of mi-" she slapped her hand to her mouth as she realized who she was talking to. It was too late, however.

"An old friend!? Oh-oh can I meet them too, Dashie? What's their name? Are they nice?" Pinkie rambled on while Rainbow ran her hand down her face.

Figuring that there would be no going back to sleep now, Rainbow rolled off the cloud and hovered down to where Pinkie was still bombarding her with questions. "Look, Pinkie, her name is Gilda, shes a harpy from Griffonstone Mountain and if you tone down the annoying-ness I'll introduce you. Happy?"

"Got it," said Pinkie with a salute, "no annoying the new girl. So, is she nice?"

Rainbow laughed, "Gilda's not nice, shes 'real'."

"Well duh," Pinkie laughed, "obviously she's real. I wouldn't be able to meet her otherwise."

"No, no I mean she keeps is real. She doesn't pretend to be nice or happy when shes not. Or give fake compliments or junk like that." Dash struggled to define the abstract concept. "Like, she wont pretend to like something or tiptoe around a subject to spare someone's feelings. You know what I mean?"

"Ooooooh, I get it. Shes a jerk!" Pinkie nodded in understanding.

"Yea, shes a- No, no!" Rainbow waved her hands, "shes not a jerk shes just..." Rainbow sighed, "you'll see when you meet her."

About an hour later the two girls were standing at the Ponyville train station. Pinkie was bobbing up and down excitedly as was her wont and Rainbow tapped her foot impatiently looking at the clock. "Gah, what is taking that girl so long?" Rainbow asked rhetorically.

"I had to stop by Cloudsdale to say 'hi' to your dad," came a harsh yet playful voice. The two girls turned around. There stood a tall, broad looking woman with brown feathery wings for arms. She wore bright yellow lipstick with hair that was bleached white with light purple highlights on the tips. For clothes she had on a brown leather jacket worn open over a white undershirt that didn't reach down enough to cover her navel and just barely hid her large and unashamedly bra-less breasts. Her bluejeans were custom made to allow her light brown tail feathers with dark brown tips poke out over her rear. She wore no shoes leaving her talons on full display. 

Rainbow grinned a cocky grin, "Gilda, you bird brain, get over here!" She ran up to her friend and the two bumped fists, then slapped hands, then did several other gestures that Pinkie couldn't quite keep up with before Rainbow finally clasped Gilda's three fingered claw with her hand and drew her into a hug. "It's good to see ya again."

"Same here," Gilda said, then noticed Pinkie, "so, who's the ground pounder?"

"Oh, right. Gilda, meet my gal pal, Pinkie Pie," Rainbow said drawing Pinkie forward. "Pinkie, this is Gilda Griffon, my best friend from Junior Flight Camp." Rainbow turned to Gilda, "hey, remember the chant?"

"Sha," Gilda scoffed, "they made us sing the damn thing every morning, I'll never get it out of my head."

"Sooo..." Rainbow asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Gilda rolled her eyes, "heh, only for you, Dash."

Rainbow and Gilda stood side by side and began the chant with practiced harmony. Rainbow with a bit more enthusiasm than her friend.

"Junior Speedsters are our lives, 
Sky-bound soars and daring dives. 
Junior Speedsters, it's our quest, 
To someday be the very best!"

Pinkie burst into giggles, "Oh that was awesome."

Gilda shrugged, "meh, I always thought it was cringe worthy."

Rainbow put her arms around both Gilda and Pinkie, looking between the two of them, "so lets go get you settled in at my place, G." She turned to Pinkie, "Pinks, you think you can grab us a couple of burgers from the Hey! Burger?"

"Sure, we'll meet in the park. See you guys in a bit!" Pinkie bounded away with her usual jovial-ness.

When Pinkie was gone, Rainbow and Gilda took flight towards Rainbow's cloudhouse. "So," Gilda started, "that Pink girl's a bit hyper isn't she?"

"Yea but shes cool, c'mon, You gotta check out my new pad."


***
 

"And then, when he hiccuped, all the letters he was carrying got sent straight to the princess. Pft ha-ha!" Pinkie covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle her giggles, Gilda and Rainbow laughed as well. the trio were sitting at a park table swapping stories, Pinkie had just finished the time she jump scared Spike as he was coming out of the post office. 

"I didn't take you for a prankster, Pinkie Pie," Rainbow said before taking a sip from her drink.

"Are you kidding?" Pinkie answered, "I love to pull pranks. It's all in good fun, and Pinkie Pie loves to have fun!"

"Sha, I groove on a good prank," Gilda smirked. 

"Say, guys, whatdya say we go on a pranking bender? I'll show ya some real funny pranks," Rainbow asked with a sly grin.

Gilda froze for a moment before turning to her friend, "Dash you promised me we'd get a flying session in this morning." 

"Oh c'mon, we can do that later," Rainbow dismissed, "lets go have some real fun."

"Yay," Pinkie cheered as she and Gilda got up from the table. 

Rainbow smiled to herself. Pinkie Pie was annoying but if her stories were to be believed, she was an excellent prankster. Maybe the three of them could have some fun.


***


"Ok," Pinkie said as they exited the joke shop, "we got sneezing powder, invisible ink, food coloring and a squirting flower. Who're we gonna prank first?"

"How about Rarity?" Rainbow offered, "I always said she needs to loosen up a bit." She pointed the group towards the Carousel Boutique. There, Rarity could be seen returning home with a bag in hand. 

Gilda looked over at the young djinn woman, right away she could tell that this Rarity was one of those high society types that just love to play dress up. Her makeup hid every little imperfection and her hair was expertly styled. That gave her an idea. "Ok, hand me the sneezing powder, I got a plan."

The bottle of sneezing powder came packaged in an unassuming bottle so as not to arouse suspicion. It was pressurized so that when the unfortunate victim opened it, the contents would be blown in their face before they could react. Gilda took the bottle and wrote on the side 'Free Sample from Berry Key to our Loyal Customer'. With an evil grin, she handed it to Rainbow who looked at the label and gave a snort of laughter before flying over to the front door of the Boutique. She placed the bottle on the doorstep before ringing the doorbell and darting behind the bushes where Pinkie and Gilda were already hiding.

"Just a moment," Rarity called from inside. Opening the door, Rarity looked around for a few moments before noticing the small bottle left on her doorstep. Curious, she picked it up and read the label. Gilda, Pinkie and Rainbow could barely contain their giggles as she let out a squeal of delight and unscrewed the lid.

The bottle ejected it's contents onto Rarity's face, covering her completely. *Cough* "What on Earth? What is thi- ah AH ACHOO!" Dust flew out of her nose and off her face as she sneezed. 

The trio of pranksters could no longer hold it in. Pinkie fell out of the bush laughing followed by Rainbow and Gilda. "Why you! ACHOO! I should have kno- ACHOO! Known. Come baACHOO! Come back here this instant!" Rarity yelled, but the three where already making a break for it, laughing uncontrollably the whole time.

"Oh man, that was great," Gilda said and looked at Rainbow, "so, now that that's over, how about the two of us head back to your place for some team shooter action."

"But, we still have more prank item thingies, lets do a few more," Pinkie protested.

"Yea I'm down, so, who's next?" Rainbow asked.

"Hmm," Pinkie rubbed her chin in contemplation, "Oh! I know."


***


"So then, since Earth is moving at 390 kilometers per second relative to the cosmic background radiation, then if I use that same frame of reference to compare how much inertia is lost when I teleport..." Dusk had spend the last several hours in his house/library/tree staring at a marker board trying to work out a way to improve his teleporting accuracy. It was tedious work that required much of his concentration, thus he never noticed the small, pink finger-nailed hand as it reached up from behind the desk that was to his left. The hand grabbed his pen and replaced it with a different, slightly less useful one. 

"That's it!" Dusk declared happily, "now I just need some equipment." He turned to his desk and picked up the trick pen and his note pad. "Lets see," he said, writing down the items as he listed them. "I'll need a chironometer, a thaumic compensator, an annihilation matrix, might have to borrow Celestia's, now all I need is a giant radio telescope." Dusk looked up from his note pad and tapped his chin with the pen while he thought, " now where can I get a giant radio telescope this late on a Saturday?" 

"Oh I know," Dusk said aloud while turning back to his notes, "I can re-purpose the radio station. I'm sure the people there will be nice enough to..." he trailed off when he saw that the list he'd just made was now blank. "What the huh?" Dusk turned the paper over, looked around the desk and then the room. 

"I know I wrote that down, where did..." Dusk looked up when he heard a silent laughter coming from outside his opened window. He went over to investigate and found Pinkie, Rainbow and a harpy girl he didn't know looking up at him and laughing hysterically. 

"Pfft, ha-ha, we got you good, Egghead!" Rainbow said while clutching her sides. "You should have seen your face."

"Yes, yes, real funny. Where's my pen?" Dusk asked.

"Tch, why? It's just a pen dude," asked the harpy.

"The MASA Space Pen is hardly 'just a pen'! It's a specially crafted writing instrument designed to function under water, upside down, at zero-g and in extreme temperatures. No ordinary pen can do that." Dusk beamed with pride, listing the merits of his favorite pen.

"Pencils can," Pinkie said innocently, causing Rainbow and Gilda to burst out laughing once more.

"That's not the poin..." Dusk stopped and sighed, "just give it back please."

"Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a bunch," Gilda replied. "Pinks, let em have his nerd pen back."

Pinkie complied, returning the silver sheen pen to its owner. "Ok, so who's next..."

"Actually, Pinkie, me and Dash were going to go flying after-"

"Hey, what about AJ? She looks like a she could do with a few laughs."

Gilda sighed, "Fine, we'll do a few more but after that you owe me a race, G."

"Sure, sure, whatever..." Rainbow said.


***


Applejack wiped her brow after setting down the cart of apples she'd wheeled in from the field. It was the final haul of the day and she was eager to get them into the cleaning still with the rest so she could spend the rest of the day relaxing. Wasting no more time, she pushed the cart of apples up a small ramp to the top of a large barrel filled with water and a large metal screw that, when activated, would tumble the barrel's contents, removing any accumulated dirt and dust. 

She opened the panel on the side of the cart to let the apples fall into the barrel then proceeded down the ramp to press a red button on the side of the machine. As the motors hummed to life, AJ walked over to the small fridge they kept in that particular barn house to grab a cool bottle of water. With her back to the barrel, she never noticed the snickering rainbow haired seraphim who quickly flew up to the top of the machine and poured a small vial of liquid into the large container.

Rainbow darted back to where her two friends were hiding and watched as AJ returned to the washer, bottle in hand. After a few minutes, the machine chimed, indicating that it was finished. AJ deactivated the washer and pulled a lever to release the apples into a strainer. When she did, she had to do a double take upon seeing the yellow colored water spill out along with an entire cart load of orange apples.

"W-what in tarnation?!" she picked up one of the apples, the still wet food coloring dripping onto her hand. "Now who in the world ever heard of orange apples?" she asked aloud, scratching her head.

It was at that time when the mischievous trio burst from their hiding place, laughing uncontrollably. "Oh man," Rainbow said between laughing spells, "we got you good."

AJ noticed the vial of food coloring and connected the dots. "Consarn it, Rainbow!" she yelled and grabbed a handful of apples to throw at soon to be dead friend and her accomplices. Pinkie, Gilda and Rainbow quickly took off, dodging apples as they went. "Y'all come back here so I can pummel you!" AJ yelled but they didn't stop. 

As AJ came to a halt, she looked down at the remaining apples in her hands. "Hmm," she hummed to herself and took a quick bite. The taste was the same, it appeared only the color had changed. Actually, this gives me an idea...


***


Rainbow, Pinkie and Gilda sat on the banks of Ponyville Lake just behind a patch of tall grass. "Ok, is the flower set up?" Rainbow asked.

"Yes-in-deedee," Pinkie answered, pointing to a small, inconspicuous looking flower across the water. propped up next to the flower was a small paper sign that read 'smell me'. 

"Just in time," Gilda said while peering over the grass, "someone's coming." The trio all ducked down out of sight. Gilda grabbed the trigger, letting out a some what sinister laugh as she did.

"So, who is it?" Pinkie asked. "Who're we gonna squirt?"

"Well, well, if it isn't 'can't fly' Fluttershy," Gilda answered.

"What?" Pinkie almost yelled, "Nononononono, we can't prank Fluttershy, I mean, you know how she is. It'll hurt her feelings, even our most harmless prank."

Rainbow sighed reluctantly, "yea, Pinks has a point Gilda." 

"C'mon, Dash, your not wimping out on me are you?" Gilda asked with a scowl.

"I-I'm not, its just..."

"Whats a little water to the face, she'll get over it."

"Forget it, we'll find something else to do," Rainbow insisted.

"Pift, lame," Gilda moaned but relented, though she leveled a glare at Pinkie. "Well then, what are we gonna do next then?"

"Well, we could have a flying race like we used to," Rainbow suggested hopefully. She had been itching to see just how much better Gilda had gotten in the few years since she'd last seen her.

"Oh, oh, I know!" Pinkie said, punctuating her speech with bouncing. "We could go to Sugar Cube Corner and I can make us some fresh cupcakes! You'll love em, they're delicious."

Rainbow nodded, "sure, I could go for some sweets." 

Gilda's eye twitched, "Dash, what about us? Weren't we gonna go flying and race and stuff?"

"We will, but you gotta try Pinkie's Cupcakes, they're delicious."

On the other side of the pond, Fluttershy poked the bizarre flower, unsure why the clearly fake flora was left on the path.


***


The trio walked into the bakery, enjoying the sweet smell of the confections. Gilda however, was not happy. This weekend was suppose to be just the two of them, hanging out and causing trouble like they used to.

Rainbow, on the other hand, was at the opposite end of the spectrum. Bringing Pinkie along had turned out to be a blast. By the time this weekend was over, she was sure the three of them would be gal pals for life or her name wasn't Rainbow Martha 'And If You Tell Anyone It's Martha I'll Pummel You' Dash.

Gilda excused herself to go to the restroom, on her way back, she couldn't stop thinking about Rainbow and her new friend. She took a deep breath as she put her hand on the door. Relax, she thought to herself, Pinkie is just a phase, Dash'll get bored with her eventually. It's not like she's is gonna replace... me... Her thoughts trailed off as she opened the door and spotted Rainbow teaching the secret handshake to Pinkie. That was THEIR secret handshake! 

"Ok, no," Gilda said, marching towards the pair. "Hey, Rainbow, can you give us a sec?" Gilda turned to Pinkie, "Pinkie we need to chat." She grabbed Pinkie by the scruff of her shirt and pulled her into the restroom. Pinkie never lost her smile throughout the ordeal. 

"Whats up, Gilda?"

"Whats up is you've been steeling my limited time with my friend all day today!" Gilda hissed, not wanting to be overheard.

Pinkie slumped, a frown of confusion forming on her face. "Whaddya mean, G? I'm just trying to have fun and make friends with my friend's friend."

"I mean, I'm only here for the weekend and I wanted to spend that time hanging out," Gilda said.

"We are hanging out,"	Pinkie chirped. 

"I mean just the two of us. Flying and racing like we use to."

"Yes..."

"Things that only the two of us can do because we can fly..."

"Alright..."

"But not if we're hanging with someone who can't..." 

Pinkie gave Gilda a blank stair. Gilda raised her eyebrows and motioned with her claws trying to get the young terran to take a hint. "...oooooh, you want me to leave," Pinkie said, probably happier than she should have been. "Well no problamo, why didn't you just say so?"

Pinkie bounced out of the restroom and called out to Rainbow as she passed, "hey Dash, I'll see you later. Enjoy your alone time together with Gilda!" Everyone in the bakery heard Pinkie's yell, a few grinned slyly at a blushing Rainbow while others whispered excitedly among themselves. 

One couple, a djinn girl with white highlights and a mint colored shirt and a terran girl in a cream colored dress looked to one another. The djinn girl grinned and said, "told ya so," as she held out her hand to except a twenty bit note from her eye rolling, terran friend.

Rainbow buried her face in her hands. "What the hell, Pinkie? She knows how I feel about people calling me gay!"

Gilda just shrugged, "meh, whatever, not my fault if that girl doesn't understand context."


***


Pinkie Pie sat outside the Hey! Burger enjoying the cool breeze with her favorite drink in hand. It had been a few hours since Rainbow had asked her to leave and she was starting to get bored. "Hmm, I wonder if Dash has had enough alone time with Gilda?" Pinkie wondered aloud. 

As Pinkie pondered how best to spend her time, her attention was suddenly drawn to an ally across the street. A flash, so quick and so subtle that she almost didn't even notice it and she wouldn't have given it another thought had it not been for the sight of Gilda emerging from said ally.

"Oh, oh! Gilda!" Pinkie hollered out, "Hey Gilda! Over here!" She stood and waved trying to get the harpy's attention. If Gilda heard her, she made no effort to respond as she walked through the market with an odd stiffness. "Huh, I wonder what she's doing."

Pinkie continued to watch as Gilda walked up to an apple cart where Applejack's grandmother, Granny Smith, was browsing. Gilda looked around to make sure no one was watching, then quickly grabbed an apple out of Granny's bag and walked off. Pinkie gasped, "she just stole that apple from Granny Smith!"

Pinkie was about to go confront the shoplifting harpy and make her apologize when she noticed Fluttershy was right in her path. The young half dryad was bent over and walking backwards, leading a small group of ducks and didn't notice that she was about to run right into Gilda. 

"All right little ones, this way, this way. Mama duck, you're free and clear. Just a little- oof," she nearly fell over when she backed into Gilda. "Oh my, Gilda? Please excuse me."

"Hey, I'm walkin' here!" Gilda yelled. For a moment, Pinkie thought she heard something off about her voice, but she couldn't quite place it.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry, G-Gilda" Fluttershy stammered, "I-I-I was just trying to..."

"'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus?" Gilda mocked, drawing the attention of onlookers which made poor Fluttershy even more uncomfortable.

Fluttershy, for her part, was completely at a loss. She remembered Gilda from flight camp but had never really been close to her. Gilda had always been brash, but never outright mean. "B-b-b-but I..." she clammed up upon seeing Gilda's eyes, her pupils dilated and contracted randomly, as if they were struggling to maintain their shape. They filled her with a horrible sense of dread.

"Move," Gilda commanded. 

Fluttershy could take no more, with a sob she ran back the way she came, her ducks having long fled the scene. Gilda continued walking as if nothing happened.

Pinkie couldn't believe what she had just seen. "S-she seemed so fun before, why would she steel and then make Fluttershy cry?"

As Pinkie pondered, she never noticed Gilda turn a corner behind one of the buildings lining the street. If she had, it would have raised even more questions when the harpy's body jittered then phased out of existence. 


***


"And she after she stole the apple, she was real mean to Fluttershy. FLUTTERSHY!" Pinkie paced around the library waving her hands as she talked. "I mean, she seemed like an ok person this morning, but she really is just a great big jerk!" 

"You sure she was being mean?" Dusk asked, not looking up from his book. His MASA pen was held firmly in his hand and had been since Pinkie showed up to ask for advice. "It's possible it was a cultural misunderstanding. Griffinstone is a providence of Equestria but it's still has it's own government and traditions."

"Dusk, she STOLE and apple right out of Granny Smith's bag! And she didn't even blink when Fluttershy ran off crying. What kind of tradition is that?" Pinkie argued.

Dusk closed his book, "you have a point, still I think you should talk to her about it. She might have just been angry and lashing out."

Pinkie thought for a moment, "I... guess that's true, but how am I supposed to talk to her? Hmmm," Pinkie sat down on the floor with her legs and arms crossed. She often refereed to this as 'Thinkie Pinkie Mode'. She closed her eyes while holding a look of concentration on her face. Dusk just shrugged and went back to his notes.


***


Inside Pinkie's head, several tiny Pinkies sat at a table, heatedly debating the problem. "I think we should bake them some cupcakes," said the first Pinkie, "everyone loves cupcakes!"

"And how would we deliver those cupcakes, Sweet Tooth Pinkie?" said another, "Gilda told us to leave them alone."

"Ugh, you're such a party pooper, Rational Pinkie," said a third, "that's why we don't invite you to these meetings more often."

"Girls, I got it! Lets write a letter to Rainbow with everything we want to say and mail it to her! That way we get out message across without getting close!"

"Great idea, Critical Thinking Pinkie!" said Sweet Tooth with a round of agreement from the others.

"Wait, Gilda is only here for the weekend, we'd have to express mail it," Rational pointed out.

"Where are we gonna get the money for that?"

"How about we tell that cutie sitting over there with his nose in the book that if he buys it for us, he can put his nose in our book," another Pinkie spoke up, licking her lips.

"Libido Pinkie!? Who let you in here?" Rational asked rhetorically while shoving Libido out of the room.

"Lets have a bake sale!"

"That's perfect! We just need a permit to set up shop for the weekend."

"But I think you need to pay for those too."

"Not if you're a veteran."

"And there's a recruiting station by the mayor's office!"

After a few more moments debating, the Pinkies all managed to agree on a course of action. Critical Thinking held up a paper she'd been writing on. "Ok, so we're all in agreement, we're buying a jet ski."

There was a round of nods and handshakes for a job well done, until Rational suddenly realized something. "Wait!" she cried, "this isn't going to work, the jet ski store went out of business last month." There was a chorus of disappointment as the Pinkie counsel members all threw up their hands in frustration. 

"Girls," Sweet Tooth spoke up, "I think we're going to have to resort to the all purpose contingency plan..."

"You mean... Plan B?"

"Yes... B."


***


"I got it!" Pinkie suddenly shouted, causing Dusk to jump. "I know exactly what to do."

"You do?" Dusk asked.

"Two words; A Party!" Pinkie said excitedly.

"A... party?"

"42 words; Yes a party! I'll throw a party and invite Gilda and Rainbow along with a few other people, that way they come to me and I don't upset Gilda by going to her. Then I can talk to them both in person!"

Pinkie darted off leaving Dusk to just stare, then began counting in his head, "39, 40, 41, 42... how does she do that?"


***


It was evening by the time Rainbow and Gilda made their way to Sugar Cube Corner for Pinkie's impromptu party. Gilda didn't want to attend at first but Rainbow had insisted that Pinkie's parties were pretty wild.

"Welcome, welcome," Pinkie greeted when they walked in, "Gilda! I'm so happy to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties, and I really, truly, sincerely, hope you feel welcome here among all us Ponyville folk."

"Cha, like I'd miss out on a wild party," Gilda said. There weren't any decorations but the tables and chairs had been moved aside and a long buffet table was set up with food and punch. Around the room, several of the townsfolk were mingling, including Pinkie's four other best friends, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack and Dusk.

"I hope you enjoy yourselves," Pinkie held out her hand for Gilda, grinning. Gilda took it and was immediately shocked. Pinkie and Rainbow both broke out laughing.

"Oh Pinkie Pie, the old hand-shake buzzer. You are a scream," Rainbow said.

"Yea," Gilda agreed while forcing a smile, "real funny."

"I'm gonna go help myself to some punch," Rainbow said. When she was out of earshot, Gilda turned to Pinkie.

"I know what you're up to," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, I'm watching you," she went to join Gilda, leaving Pinkie confused.

The party proceed fairly routinely from there. Gilda introduced herself to Rainbow's remaining friends who seemed to get along well enough save for Fluttershy who kept her distance.

"Hey Fluttershy," Pinkie whispered, "you alright? I saw what happened in the market today, if you don't want to be here-"

"No, no it's fine," Fluttershy said meekly, "I just... she's getting along with everyone. I don't want to cause any more trouble."

"Don't worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda. Your auntie Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of," Pinkie smiled.

"I'm a year older than you..."

Gilda, meanwhile, was browsing the snack table when she noticed the lemon drops that were set out. "Lemon drops," she mused aloud, "don't mind if I do." She tossed one in her mouth. For a few moments, nothing was amiss, then, "ah, AH, HOT!" Gilda spit out the 'lemon drop' and raced for the punch bowl. She was so focused on extinguishing the fire in her mouth that it took a moment to notice that the cup she was using had a hole at just the right height to spill half the punch all over her chest.

Placing the cup down, she heard Pinkie and Rainbow laughing once again. Looking down, she saw that her white undershirt was now soaked and stained red and much to her dismay, her nipples could be seen through the fabric. Gilda quickly grabbed the ends of her brown leather jacket and fastened it closed, her face almost as red as the punch.

"Ha-ha, oh man," Pinkie said as she calmed down from laughing, "pepper in the lemon drops, and the punch served in a dribble glass."

"Yea, hilarious," Gilda said dryly. With the spicy lemon drops still an after taste in her mouth, she reached for a can of salted peanuts on the snack table. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, they were trapped as well. When she opened the can, a colorful paper snake popped out, smacking her right in the face.

Both Pinkie and Rainbow burst out laughing again, this time joined by Applejack, who had come over to see what was so funny. "Spittin' snakes," she said, "Hah, somebody pulled that prank on me last month."

Gilda clenched her teeth behind a fake smile, "I bet I know who that was," she said, barely containing her rage. Rainbow didn't fail to notice this.

"Hey G, you're not mad are ya?" she asked.

"No, no, like I said, I'm down with a good prank..."

Despite her assurances to the contrary, the harpy was nearing her breaking point. She looked for a way to calm down when she noticed a group of party goers standing in a group, laughing and cheering. "Whats going on over here?" she asked, pushing her way into the group.  On the table was a bit coin and a list of people with names.

"It's called the coin roll," said a terran man who's name Gilda didn't know, "You hold the edge of the coin on your forehead, then try to roll it all the way down to your chin without removing it. Then you get to write your name on the list of winners."

"That's it?" Gilda asked, "how is that a game?"

"It's harder than it looks," a djinn woman said while grinning.

"Seriously? This is ridiculous," it was then that Pinkie showed up.

"Betcha can't dooooo it," she taunted.

"Oh yea? Watch me!" Gilda grabbed the bit without a second thought and placed it on her forehead. With ease, she ran it down the length of her face all the way to her chin without removing it then slammed it on the table. "There, ya see," she crossed her arms. It was then that she heard the snickering from the crowed. One by one, the assembled guests started laughing, one or two pointing at her while they did.

"What? Whats so funny?" she demanded.

"Noooothing," Pinkie teased while holding up a small mirror.

Gilda looked at the mirror and saw, to her anger, that a solid black line had been drawn right down the middle of her face. The whole 'game' had been a setup. The harpy had finally reached her breaking point. "GRRRRAAAAHHHHHH!" she yelled, causing everyone to cease laughing instantly. 

"This is your idea of a good time?" Gilda hissed, "I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life. And you," she pointed to Pinkie Pie, "you are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks. Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?"

"Gilda, what's your problem? It's just a few jokes,"  Rainbow asked.

"My problem, Dash, is that this pink bimbo has been bothering us all day long and now she set up this whole party to make a fool of me!"

Rainbow crossed her arms, leveling a glare at Gilda, "You know Gilda, I was the one who set up all those 'weak' pranks at this party."

Gilda's mouth fell open, "W-what? Dash, c'mon you're messing with me right?"

"They weren't all meant for you specifically, it was just dumb luck that you set them all off," Rainbow continued. "Pinkie asked me before hand if she could set up this party, she want's to make friends. If you have a problem with her, why didn't you say anything?"

Gilda couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed. All eyes in the room were still on her, judging her. She just wanted to get out. "You, you are such a, a flip-flop: cool one minute and lame the next." She stormed towards the door, "When you decide not to be lame anymore, gimme a call." As she left, the door slammed behind her.

"Ooookay," Dusk said from the corner of the room, "what was that about?"

Rainbow sighed, "I'm sorry everyone, for Gilda's attitude. And Pinkie Pie, I'm really sorry she ruined that awesome party you put on for her." She looked towards the door, "I guess I better go talk to her."

"I'll come too, she's mad because of me," Pinkie offered but Rainbow turned her down.

"No, better let me find out what's bothering her first, it'll be easier if it's just us. We'll come find you when she's ready to apologize." Rainbow walked out of Sugar Cube Corner and took to the sky, "now where did she go?"


***


"Stupid, lame, Dash," Gilda murmured to herself as she walked down the ally way. She didn't feel like flying and she really didn't want other people staring at her while she grumbled. The sun had already set but the ally she was in had no street lamps. Not that it made a difference to her. Harpies have very keen low light vision.

"Gah, I can't believe she'd just turn on me like that!" she punched a wall with her claws, it hurt but she was too angry to care. "And I have to go back to her place to get my stuff, I wish I'd never come to this stupid-"

Gilda was interrupted by the sound of something landing a short distance away, it was Rainbow Dash. Gilda scowled at the young seraphim, "what? Come to apologize?" Rainbow said nothing, she simply stood there with a neutral expression. Gilda narrowed her eyes, "because I know you don't expect ME to be sorry."

Rainbow continued to stand there, still as a statue, her face completely expressionless. The lack of response only made Gilda all the angrier. "Oh, I see how it is," Gilda said, her voice slightly trembling, "you move to a new town full of a bunch of country hicks, you impress them with your fancy flying skills and they worship the ground you fly over. Now suddenly you're too good for me, is that it?" Gilda approached Rainbow as she spoke. By the time she finished her rant, she was face to face with her former friend.

Rainbow hadn't moved an inch during the entire time. Gilda glared at her while she stood there, watching, judging. Gilda could take no more, "say something," she shouted in Rainbow's face. She didn't even flinch. Gilda formed her claws into a fist, "SAY SOMETHING! You condescending bitch!" she struck Rainbow dead in the face. Rainbow made no effort to block or dodge, in fact, she didn't have to.

Gilda could only stare in shock as her fist rested squarely on Rainbow's jaw, the punch definitely connected but had no effect whatsoever. "W-wha... Rainbow Dash?" She was about to pull her fist away when, faster than should be possible, Rainbow grabbed a hold of her arm. There was a strange noise, like the sound of an out of tune radio, as Rainbow's whole body began to jitter. It was as if she were a software glitch come to life, parts of her jumping back and forth like they were having trouble deciding where in space they should exist.

"What, who are you?" Gilda cried out, terrified, "let me go." She pulled and pulled at her arm in the fake Rainbow's grip but to no avail.

"Yo̵̶̧ù̢͟r̀͝ p̢͟art̛́ ̢i̴͜͞n̕ ̴t̕h̷͝҉i̶̡̛s̶̵ c̢͘͟y̷͜c̷͡͡l͟e ҉̵is͝ ҉co̶̸͡m͜pl͡͝eţ̀e,̸̸ ͘͢͟y̢̕o̧u͢͠ c͢͜a̴̕͜n̢͠͞n̕ot̀ ͠s͟t̸̡ą̵y̴͞.̸̀ ," the thing's voice was as alien as its body. As if it was trying to speak a language not meant for its tongue.

"LET GO!" she screamed, uselessly, "H-help, someone HELP!" During her struggle, she noticed to her horror, that her arm was beginning to jitter and move just like the creature's body. It spread from her arm, slowly overtaking her entire form until the world around her faded to static. In a flash of light, both Gilda and the creature disappeared. 

In the silence of the ally way, a few moments later, the real Rainbow Dash landed with a sudden thud. "Gilda? GILDA! Where are you?!" She searched frantically, having heard her friend's cry for help while in flight. Unable to see, she pulled out her glass and activated the flashlight function. 

Rainbow's breaths were increasing in speed the more she looked around and found nothing. "Gilda? Come on, dude, this isn't funny any mor-" she stopped when her light shone on a feather. It was too big to belong to a bird, and no seraphim in Ponyville had that particular shade of golden brown. It could only be one of Gilda's primaries. 

Rainbow picked it up with a shaking hand, "GILDA!"