(Warning: This is the part where the fic will go off the rails. I and Zoltan tried to edit it with the best jokes we could but it was hard to do. If you wish to skip it, thn wait until tomorrow. Second, this is a small crossover with the other fic ‘Darkest of Tides’ and as such is FOE centric. Don’t worry, there’ll be no references, but there will be some spoilers for that fic.
Still here after all that? Good, you have amazing stamina. Now, lay back, relax and think of England.)
Pinkie Pie yawned and stretched out her legs, before scratching her ear a little. Standing to her hooves, she began to look around, "Wow, some trip, huh, girls? Girls?" she looked around, her eyes wide in terror. "Oh no!"
As she began to look around her surroundings, she saw nothing but wastes for miles and miles on end. Above her was a dark grey cloud cover passing by. Gasping, she looked at the dead trees, and the lack of pony life, "Wait, wasteland, cloud cover, no ponies. I've been sent to a horrible post-apocalyptic Wasteland, my friends are all seperate and I ran out of cupcakes. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Screaming, she began to run around in circles, running terrified, with her eyes closed. Stopping for a second, she said, "Wait a minute, remember what Granny Pie taught you"
In Pinkie's mind, a white pegasus appeared, 'Remember Pinkie, if you are even in a wasteland alone... wait, you're in a post-apocalyptic wasteland? PANIC!!!
"Right, Panic," Pinkie then screamed again and began to run around in circles.
A oranged maned mare in a silver suit of armor watched the spectacle in shock. She put a hoof to her ear,"Admiral, I-uh, I'm seeing something strange. No. No, I don't know why I'm surprised either." She walked up to Pinkie,"Hey!"
For the moment, Pinkie Pie continued to run in fear and terror. As she ran, a smoke cloud in the shape of herself began to form. The cloud looked at the new pony and then grabbed Pinkie by her tail, stopping her. the cloud then pointed to the new pony. Pinkie looked at the smoke cloud in curiosity, then to the pony. Letting loose a gasp, she ran to the pony and smiled, "A NEW PONY!! Please to meet you I'm Pinkie Pie! I would make a party for you, but I have no idea where I am."
The mare blinked, her mind racing to process what she just saw,"Uh, Lt. Trish Houston. You're in the Equestrian Wasteland. Why don't I take you to my base with me?"
"Trish Houston...?" Pinkie blinked at the weird name, cocking her head to the side. shaking t, she nodded, "Yep! Lead the way Trishie!!!! Maybe you can help me find my friends."
'Trishie?' Trish thought as she lead Pinkie along. They trotted through the wasteland and towards a large silver building with several ponies in similar armor to Trish milling about. Trish walked up to one at the front entrance and saluted,"Lt. Trish Houston, I brought my guest."
At the soldier's nod, Trish went in. The room they entered was circular, with a few silver chairs strewn about,"Wait here, I'll bring my boss." She said, walking away.
"Pinkie Pie?" A deep voice boomed.
Pinkie Pie watched at the ponies in armor walked by, "Ooooh cool knights. Hi, hi hi hi," he squeaked saying hi to each pony as they walked by.
Once she was in the circular room, she found a seat to sit in, before jumping at the deep voice, "Who's there!!!"
A large pony in grey armor walked to her seat,"Y-you're dead." He said,"Unless," He pointed to himself,"Do you recognize me, Pinkie?"
"I'm a zombie" Pinkie said, before pausing. "But, then why don't I want any brains? Oh, I guess I must be dead here in this world! Hmm?" she heard the steel Rangers question. Then reaching into her hair, she pulled out a rolodex, "Wait a sec!
"Hmmm, steel pony steel pony, steel pony. Nope, don't remember!"
"Applesnack, my name is Applesnack." the steel pony said, sounding a bit disappointed.
"Applesnack! Ok, now we're getting somewhere!!!" Pinkie cheered. Looking at the rolodex, "Let's see, Appleback, cack,dack,eack,fack, gack,hack,iack,jack,lack,mack,nackpaddywackgivaadogabone,oack,pack (he works as a baggage salespony), quack, rack (She's sexy), snack! A lovely mare who has a crush on Braebern, but is afraid to admit so she dates Silver Star. Are you a mare?"
Applesnack stopped for a moment,"No, I'm not a mare..."
"Then sorry," Pinkie said, putting away her rolodex. She then hugged the stallion, "But that is ok, we can know each other now. Here," she then handed Steelhooves a muffin.
"I... I can't eat that." Applesnack said,"I'm stuck in this armor."
A stallion in a blue uniform with stubble in his chin walked up and smiled,"I could have one."
“Yay," cheered Pinkie as she gave the other stallion one. Then looking back at Steelhooves, Pinkie said, "Don't worry. I'll find you one that you can eat." she said before looking at the new pony, and you are?"
"I am Admiral Castor Dane, you can call me Dane." He smiled. He looked at Applesnack,"I'll care of her, she may be just what we needed." He motioned towards a hall,"Come, I'll explain everything on the way."
"Okie dokie lokie!!" Pinkie said, bouncing alongside Dane.
"I'm sure you have some questions, Miss Pie." Dane said as several doors passed them.
"Yep, I do! Where are my friends, what time era am I in, whose bright idea was Other M, where am I, why does peter piper pick a pack of pickled peppers?"
"Your friends are possibly back home, you are in an alternate universe 212 years in the future, don't know, in the Equestrian Wasteland inside a modified Stable, and I really can't do tongue twisters." He chuckled.
Pinkie's tongue was twisted, "Neither can I."
Dane chuckled,"The stories were true, you are strange." He stopped at a door and opened in,"Come in."
Inside was a large rectangular table with seven chairs. A pony in light blue armor stood at the side with a crooked horn. A creature with three claws sat in blue armor looking at Pinkie. A dark red thing with a floating head sat with it's legs on the table. A large magma creature had its hooves on the table. A yellow slug like thing with four slithery hooves scratched the table. A creature with silver armor and a yellow visor laid on the table.
Oh, my sweet baby Celestia... ALIUMS!!!!!! Pinkie ran to each one and put on a party hat. Then, pulling out a party cannon from out of nowhere, she fired it, shooting up a sign that said 'Welcome to Earf from Will Smith" then she brought out a machine
Welcome Welcome
A fine Welcome to you
Welcome Welcome
I say ow do you do?
Welcome Welcome
I say hip hip hooray
Welcome Welcome
Welcome to Earth Today!!!!!
Then the machine fired out a giant cake with a little Pinkie Pie toy standing over a frustrated Twilight that said in pink icing "I was right all along Twi-Twi"
"Ohh, it’s no fun if Twilight isn't here to share it." Pinkie whimpered.
The aliens just stood dumbfounded.
The silver one just shook his head,"I knew pirates like you. Name's Weavel."
The blue one chuckled, and bowed,"Madam Pinkie Pie, I am Noxus."
The magma one went to the cake,"Spire." He took a bite.
The yellow one laughed hysterically,"Kanden, and you look like one who can get on Sylux's nerves, which is awesome!"
The light blue one turned her head in disgust,"He's referring to me. Dane, why is she here?"
The red one shook his head,"You're a weird one, Cupcake." He held out a spiked limb,”Trace.”
"I'm not a Cupcake, This is Cupcake," she said, bringing out a photo marked ‘for my sweet hubby’
“See?" Pinkie said. Then smiling she shook the hooves of all present. Putting on a oven mitt fr spire.
The sight caused Noxus blush profusely.
Dane smiled,"Now that introductions were made, time to explain why you are all here." He grabbed a button, and a fold-away screen appeared behind him, showing eight figures," We have a problem: These eight."
"Who are those?" Trace asked.
Dane pressed a button, showing a Pinkie Pie with greying mane,"This is 42, a clone of Pinkie that somehow got brought back to life. She is trying to gain power over the wasteland. That is why I'm glad the real Pinkie is here, for she may be too strong for us. She is trying to attain victory using seven soldiers known as the Seven Deadly Sins."
A picture of a decayed donkey appeared,"Cranky Doodle, alias, Sloth. He has the power to produce the deadly Pink Cloud."
A picture of a minotaur appeared,"Steel Determination, alias: Wrath. He uses drugs to enhance his amazing strength."
A picture of a zebra appeared,"Zen, alias: Envy. She has the power to be invisible, allowing her to become a great sniper."
A picture of a crazed Unicorn appeared,"Cutter, alias: Greed. He creates a shield around him, making him nigh invulnerable."
A picture of a pegasus appeared,"Snake Eyes, alias: Lust. Her wings can cut through any metal."
A picture of a unicorn with a sullen expression appeared,"Back, alias: Gluttony. His body allows him to steal magic from anywhere."
An alicorn appeared,"Unknown, only goes by Pride. We have very little information about her powers."
Dane looked at all of them,"These creatures are trying to create an army in Hoofington, and it is up to us to stop them."
"Can't Samus handle them?" Weavel asked.
"She's too busy. She can't be everywhere at once, and this is a problem that must be stopped now. Any questions?"
Sylux raised a hoof,"Do we have to babysit the crazy one?"
Pinkie Pie was dressed in a grey tank top and green pants, he mane done in an over the top style, "Are we gonna win this time?" she asked, her voice very deep and manly
One of the slides showed Pinkie at a new year's party with a lampshade on her head, changing it, it then showed Dane at a party dancing with a mostly naked woman, and then the next slide shows a crayon drawing of Pinkie holding the bounty hunters with a message, 'my new friends."
Dane gasped at the picture of him,"Um, you didn't see that!"
Spire cocked his head,"How did she...?"
Dane blinked,"Yes?"
Trace stretched his appendages and looked at Dane,"I'd have to agree with Syx, is it a good idea to bring her along?"
"There'll be a 3,000 credit bonus for you." Dane said with a smile.
Kanden raised his arms,"We're in!"
"Besides, how am I supposed to have any character development if I don't go?" Pinkie Pie asked, then heard a bark. Turning her head to look towards the sound of the barking, she smiled, "Benji, you son of a bitch!" she giggled as she walked to the dog, her hoof becoming buff with a bulging bicep. The dog smirked as well, holding up a buff paw and grasping in a manly hoofshake.
The Bounty Hunters stared at this.
"..." Sylux charged her horncannon,"I think I'm going to kill her before this mission's over."
Pinkie Pie bounced back to the group of bounty hunters, while the old furry dog walked away, smoking a cig and fixing its eyepatch. There was a big grin on her face as she said, "Alrighty, I am ready to go on this adventure, but first, I need some equipment!!!"
The old dog watched, and smiled serenely at the pink mare. Quietl he walked back into the shadows, but not before nodding to Dane.
Dane slowly nodded at the dog, before laughing to himself. He looked at Pinkie,"The armory's all yours. Just go to the west wing."
Pinkie Pie nodded and walked down the long corridor of the stable, making her way to the first door, "Hmmm, West Wing"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JivPEYjYd20
"Nope!" with a skip, sh walked to the next door, "West Wing"
"I would like to call this cabinet to order," Obama said, before waving hi to Pinkie Pie.
"Nope!" Pinkie Pie opened the next door to see a long wing of an airplane as it soared through the clouds. Shaking her head, she made her way to the next door marked west wing and walked down the allway. Smiling she trotted down the hallway to the armory.
The Armory opened up to walls filled with rocket launchers, bazookas, tanks, pistols, rifles, gatling guns, pie-launchers, party cannons, and a kitten.
There was a big grin on Pinkie's face as she walked into the armory. At first,she passed by the pistol and rifles. Along the wall the rifles read "Big gun, bigger gun, biggest gun, BFG10000. Gun that has significance to the plot as a metaphor for broken bonds being rehealed through heart and serves a as a message of reconnecting through lost time."
"In this part of the chapter?" Pinkie asked, before shaking her head. "Try Rarity's part."
On another wall the guns were racked up with "small, tiny, world's tiniest gun." Pinkie Pie used a magnifying glass to see the tiny pistol.
Pinkie Pie continued t walk through the armor, taking note of the various racks. Slowly she walked by one rack in particular, "Hmmm, I'll take this, and this, and this. Thanks Pierre." she said after taking some parsley, sage, rosemary, and tine.
"No problem Madame Pinkie, and thanks for visiting my spice rack," Pierre said.
Her trip bypassed the weapon racks also nabbed her a brand new comic. And then she walked past a mare standing next to a bunch of swords, "Nice rack."
"Why thank you," blushed an armored Sunset Shimmer.
When she went to the rocket launchers, she pulled out the collector’s bazooka gum and put it into her pocket. Then she walked by the tanks, and looked one in particular closely. Nodding she walked away and went to the grenades. Pulling them out, Pinkie made a note, "Must make pineapple cake later." Then she walked to the pie-launchers and party cannons, and then began to put those into her pockets. The last thing she grabbed was the little Kitten, who licked her cheek affectionately. She then whistled, "Hey Latias!"
A red and white plane pokemon appeared, "Yes?"
"Take this kitten to Fluttershy," Pinkie said.
Nodding the bird plane flew off, Kitten in tow. Pinkie then made her way to a cafeteria and came back with cakes, pies, and other foods. "Ok, I'm ready
Spire grabbed one of the cakes,"Yum!"
Dane lead the group to a hanger,"Alright, I uploaded a map into Weavel's armor. This plane will lead you to Hoofington, and then you will land in an abandoned warehouse in the end of the street. I should warn you, 42 has made a majority of the town into her own personal fortress."
"Ooooh, can I fly?" Pinkie Pie asked.
“No!" The hunters said in unison.
"Awww," Pinkie Pie frowned as she walked to the seat and sat down in it.
The hunters took their seats as a pilot started the plane up.
"Better get prepared for a bumpy ride, Cupcake." Trace said to Pinkie,"I'm sure you don't have planes where you come from."
"Well, we have airshipppppppppssss!" Pinkie squealed as the plane took off. Squealing, she exclaimed, "WHHHHEEEE!!!!!
Noxus chuckled,"Well, at least we won't get bored on the way there..."
Sylux growled,"I'm going to kill her, slowly."
"Save it for the enemy, Syk, geez." Weavel rolled his neck.
Kanden rubbed his hands together,"Oh, I can't wait."
Pinkie Pie walked to Sylux and smiled, "So, what kind of of alium are you?"
"That's none of your business." Sylux growled, scraping the seat she sat on.
"Oh, is it a secret? It's ok, I can keep a secret really well!" Pinkie Pie smiled
"I said it's none of your business, you little puff ball!" Sylux yelled.
Pinkie let out a gasp, "How did you know my Granny Pie's nickname for me!!!!"
Sylux muttered,"You're not going to leave me alone, are you?"
"NNNNNNNNOOPE!" Pinkie Pie nodded. "You are wayyyy to much of a grumpy frumpy."
SYlux sighed, putting her hooves to her head and taking off her helmet to reveal a red-haired mare with a green coat,"I'm part Zebesian thanks to some genetic augments, but I look like you lot."
"COOOL!" Pinkie squealed. "I am part unicorn on my poppa's side and part pegasus on my momma's side! And you-" she said, walking to Weavel, "You were a pirate?"
Weavel smirked,"Yep! Born and raised, then I left."
"Why did you leave?"
"Because my boss was an A-hole who tried to steal my free will." Weavel growled.
Pinkie noddd like a sage and then pronked over to Noxus, "I like your name, it’s silly."
Noxus smiled,"Well, in your language, it does mean teddy bear." He laughed.
There was a gasp and a giant hug from Pinkie Pie as she glomped the alien.
Noxus laughed as he hugged her back.
Giggling, Pinkie bounced away and to a window. or a few moments, she let out a sigh and looked back over her shoulder at nothing. Taking a deep breath, she let out a small sniffle and went back to watch the world pass under her out the window.
Spire sat down next to Pinkie,"That's the sound of loneliness. You miss your friends."
"Yeah, I... I do. A whole lot. I want Twilight to see all this cool futurey stuff, and Rarity to see some of your cool uniforms, and Applejack to help with some of the greens, and Fluttershy to talk to some of those weird animals, and Trixie to play a magic trick, and Will to be fine again, and for Sunset to wake up, and for Dashie..." she sniffled when she thought of her last friend.
"For Dashie?" Spire asked.
"For her to be ok again. She's hiding something deep down, and I just know it. But she won't show it," Pinkie giggled, " Because she is big strong Dashie.”
"Holding stuff in? I know a person like that." Spire leaned back.
"Who?" Pinkie asked as she leaned back in the chair, almost tripping.
"Samus Aran. She's kind of the seventh member of our team, but she can't join us due to the fact that she's also on a mission." Spire said.
"OH, what kind of mission, a secret mission or a mission that is actually just another story being told?" Pinkie asked.
"I guess it would be another story being told by fate." Spire smiled,"You know, for a weird one, you do have some interesting insight."
"Or Cupcake could just be crazy!" Trace yelled from the back.
"Well, it depends on who you asks or who is writing," Pinkie giggled.
Kanden blinked,"Is it just me, or does she talk weird? What do you mean by writing?"
"Duh, the writing in this book," Pinkie said, bringing out a novel. On the cover was a picture of her and the other bearers. Twilight held her element of magic above her head, splitting the image in half. In one side was her friends,standing in dramatic poses, all wearing armor. On the other side were them as humans, blades aloft and shimmering with their colors. Above their heads were the green eyes of Sunset Shimmer. The book read, 'Equestria Girls: an adventure spanning worlds."
Kanden looked at the book,"Let me read that, I don't want to get any more bored by this journey!"
"Sure," Pinkie Pie said, throwing the book at Kanden. Smiling, "Of course, if you get bored, I know of some fun things we can play while we travel!"
Kanden looked at Pinkie,"And those would be?"
Pinkie Pie brought out some cards...
*Three hours later*
Pinkie Pie sat next to a bunch of armor, weapons, and underwear, "Straight Flush, hand it over Sylux!"
Sylux removed her hair bow,"I can't believe you talked me into this..."
Trace chuckled,"I can't believe you of all people wear a small bow!"
"It makes me feel pretty!" Sylux yelled
"We have arrived!" The Pilot said, trying to get his hat back on.
"Yay!" Pinkie Pie cheered, walking to the door, "So, are we going to sky dive? Huh, huh, huh, huh?"
The pilot gulped,"Uh, don’t you need parachutes!?"
"No we don't!" Kanden said, kicking the door down and jumping. The other hunters followed suit, with Spire grabbing Pinkie,"Come, I'll make sure you don't get squashed by the impact!"
'It's ok," Pinkie Pie said, laughing, "I brought a parachute!" as she fell she brought out a: Pairofshoes, pairochoots,parakeet,pairopants,parrot shoes, and a glider. "Darn, I thought I had one!"
"How did you fit all of that- you know what I'm not going to ask." Spire grabbed Pinkie and jumped off, landing into a hole of a large warehouse.
"Wheeeeeeeeee!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she flew through the air. Once they landed in the warehouse, Pinkie Pie began to look around, "Hello? Anypony here?"
Sylux put a hoof to her mouth,"We don't want anyone to hear us yet!"
Weavel frowned,"We may have alerted something. I see a red dot coming towards us on my visor’s radar."
Muffled, Pinkie Pie waved, “Hello scary thing from within the shadows! I'm sorry, I can't say hi right now but Sylux has her hoof to my mouth."
"What was that noise?" A pony in rusted metal armor came around the corner,"Come out little snowflake!"
Pinkie Pie slipped out from Sylux's grip and jumped to the pony in rusted armor, "That was me! HI!!!!!
The pony grinned madly,"Hi!" He brought out a pistol, but before he could fire, his head was blown off by Trace.
"Hey!" Pinkie said, holding her hooves out in front of the head as it began to gush out blood, "Let's keep it PG-13!!!"
The hunters looked around,"PG-13?" Sylux facehoofed,"She needs to talk normal... " She muttered as the group went to the door.
Outside, several raiders were milling about, while a couple of ponies in chains began to chisel rock.
"Hey, what those ponies doing? "asked Pinkie pie as she watched the chiseling rock. "And that is no way to rock farm!!"
"Slaves." Noxus growled, jumping out and fired a blue laser at the raiders.
"Noxus, you stupid hero!" Sylux shouted as the other hunters jumped out,"You blew our cover!"
Pinkie Pie pulled back a large blanket from flying in the air, "Yeah and it was a nice one too!" she then pulled out her party cannon, "Could you guys get Noxie back for a second? I don't want to hit him."
The hunters looked at the cannon as Spire gently pulled Noxus back.
The raiders growled and began charging, "Wait for it..."
They approached ever closer, teeth bared as they snarled, "Wait...
Their weapons drawn, they approached ever closer, "Wait...Hey, could Raider number 54-"
"Me?" questioned 54.
"Yeah you, move to the left by about 3 cm?" Pinkie asked. The raider nodded and moved back with his friends before charging again.
"Wait."
They were within inches of Pinkie when she smiled, "Thank you. FIRE!!!!!" pressing the button on the party cannon, lot of things happened at once. A ball that seemed to glow with energy flew out, the party cannon opened up to present a hundred little party cannons, all of which fired streamers, a pie echoed off of several slaves collars, growing bigger with each hit, and then flew to the air. As the raiders were tied up in streamers and with the ball, getting covered in wrapping and bows, Pinkie moved the raiders to a center spot and brought out a camera, pulling the other hunters into the shot for a group hug as the giant pie hit the raiders, covering them in a big pile of dough.
Pulling out the photo, Pinkie smiled, "and that is one for the scrapbook," she said, pulling out a scrap book marked 'My time traveling adventures."Looking at the photo again Pinkie growled, "Oh, number 54... you moved!"
"sorry” whimpered 54
A voice laughed over the intercom,"Oh, I haven't heard that sound in ages! Hello, Pinkie."
"Who was that? Is that you Maude? I'm sorry for ruining your favorite spelling book. I know you are still a little mad about it...”
200 years ago
Maude frowned, "I am a little grumpy, but I forgive you pinkie, I always will"
the present
"Thanks Maude.” Pinkie smiled
"No, I'm 42, your most evil clone!" 42 said.
"Gasp!" Pinie said, looking around, "Where are you and how did you escape Twilight?"
"I didn't. In this world, I was an experiment created to be a super-soldier for war. Created by you and Twilight. Now, I'm awake here, ready to make the world mine!" She laughed maniacally.
"A super-soldier! A really cool one or an Ultimates one?"
"Well, I am evil..." 42 said.
"Ah, so Ultimates," Pinkie said with a solemn nod. The she growled, "We’ll never let you get away with this!!!!"
"Too bad! I will! Raiders, kill her on sight!" 42 yelled,"Oh, and her little friends too."
"Ha! Jokes on you, I put them all into a pie," Pinkie said, sticking her tounge out.
"I have reserves in my buildings!"
"Oh yeah, well I have..." Pinkie leaned in to Sylux, "What do I have?"
"Us?" Sylux said,"We're kind of a seven-pony army."
"Right!" I have them!" Pinkie cheered.
"That will do you no good!" 42 laughed,"I have Seven Sins that will easily kill them!"
"Well, I have a big fish!" Pinkie said bringing out a giant fish.
Said fish then looked around, "My word, how peculiar. I must go back to my reading," he then put on his favorite monocle and brought out a book to read.
42 growled and then threw a whale from out of nowhere, “Well, I have a bigger fish!”
“Well, I have fanboy rage!” Pinkie said, putting on a pair of glasses and began to speak with a snotty voice “That latet episode was trite!”
“Well I have angry reviewer rage!” 42 shouted, putting on a hat, “This comic suxs!!!”
“Well, I have a pie!”
“What kind?” asked 42.
“Blueberry,” Pinkie laughed manically.
“Drat and double drat, she beat me!!” 42 growled, “"Well, that won't matter, because I will still take over the world!"
Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes, “then I will stop you, Carghe!!!" and then ran off into the horizon.
Weavel ran up and grabbed Pinkie,"Our next destination is this way..." He dragged her off.
"Right," Pinkie said, turning around and trying to run the other direction, in spite of her being carried away.
Weavel shook his head,"This is going to be a long mission..."
Noxus lead them through the streets, looking left and right. A sound of hoofsteps could be heard in front of them.
Pinkie Pie leaned in to look around the corner. "What do you think it is?"
A couple of raiders were pacing back and forth
"Man, I can't believe we're forced to guard this place for Greed. What is so important here, anyway?" one of them asked.
"He says a memento of his lost 'Lenore' is here someplace, or something." The other said.
Pinkie asked, "a memento of who?"
"A lost Lenore or some bullcrap." The raider said.then looked up at a giant shadow.
"Quoted the raven-"
"Nevermore... eeep."The raider said, with wide whimpering eyes.
The other raider whimpered,"I knew I should've moved to Shady Sands!"
Pinkie then proceeded to know the raider guard out with a giant raven plush
"Good work, Cupcake!" Trace said, walking the door they were guarding,"Now let's see what's inside."
Spire raised his hoof, and smashed the door in.
Inside was a small room with a shrine that had the name,'Lilith' on it.
"Aw, and I just found the keys," Pinkie said.
"Get the hell out of there!" A stallion shouted behind them.
"Why?" Pinkie said, walking to the shrine, "and who's Lilith?"
Greed glared at Pinkie,"My marefriend, somepony who was separated from me!"
"Aw, how was she sperate?" Pinkie asked.
"I stayed in Chicacolt to fight a gang war, and she left." He sighed sadly,"And now she is lost to me."
Pinkie looked to the shrine and sighed, "I'm sorry to hear that. My friends are lost to me too."
"Aw, it's a shame I'd have to kill you before you meet them again." Greed said.
"Yeah, it is a sha-what?" Pimkie asked.
Greed threw a punch at Pinkie
Pinkie ducked and went over to the bounty hunters, "Ok, so, what is the plan?”
Trace fired a shot at Greed, who's coat absorbed it,"I have no idea!"
Pinkie looked from her party cannon, "Hey, Mister Greed? While you are kicking our flanks, want to give a long monologue about your powers and why were are doomed?"
Greed raised an eyebrow,"Why would I do a stupid thing like that?"
"Because it would help us know how to beat you!" Pinkie said, then took a few minutes to think, "Or was I supposed to keep that part quiet?"
Sylux pulled Pinkie back,"Pinkie, the point of a plan is to NOT LET THE VILLAIN KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING!"
Noxus frowned as he whispered,"Maybe we should aim for the eyes?"
"Brilliant!" Pinkie said, reaching into her pocket and bringing out a pie bazooka, "Taste hot crust filling with a nice soft goog center and whipped topping you beast!” she then began to fire pies at Greed.
Greed blinked,"Pies!?" Then he felt them hit his face,"mmm, lemon-meringue."
"Darn it, that was supposed to be cherry," Pinkie said, and then she thought, "Hey, are you sure your shield isn't made of granite?"
"My shield is made of pure carbon, and is totally indestructible, why?" Greed asked.
Pinkie then brought out a large pencil sharpener, "Oh no weason...You guys keep fighting the big meanie."
Weavel struck at him with a blade,"You," Greed smiled,"I sense something in you. You're as greedy as I am." He chuckled.
"Just a little more," Pinkie said, aiming the sharpener.
"What are you talking about?" Weavel held him in place.
"I can smell the greed off of you. You want power, you want strength! You're just like me..." Greed chuckled.
"Just a little more," Pinkie said, moving just a bit.
Weavel said nothing as he attempted to push Greed back.
“There!" Pinkie said, slamming Greed into the giant pencil sharpener. She then began to spin the handle really fast until Greed pulled out, really really tiny. As in a little new born colt.
Greed squeaked,"What did you do? I'm tiny and a pencil!" He jumped up and down,"This is insulting!"
"No, insulting would be me putting an eraser on your tushie," Pinkie said, hiding said eraser on her back.
"You no good (Censored for the reader's convenience) I'm gonna (Seriously, this is like Deadpool in Super Hero Squad, I can't have him cuss that much, or do too much violence.) you so hard!" Greed raged.
Pinkie Pie growled, "As a member of the amish community, I find that very offensive so-" Pinkie looked to Weavel and threw him a bar of soap, "Fire away grizzly!"
Weavel took the soap, and nodded before he washed out Greed's mouth.
"Pitiful." A voice from above said.
"Oh sweet Celestia, is that you Limey? I'm sorry that I left you behind when Mom caught us cussing, but it was you or me!" Pinkie said, looking up.
(200 years ago)
"You're forgiven, Pinkie, but just don't think I am going to go easy on you when I see you again-Och!" Limestone yelped as she was hit on the back of the head by Maude.
200 years later
"Thanks Limey!" Pinkie said.
"No," an alicorn flew down,"I am Pride." Her horn glowed as she picked up Greed,"You shall be punished, Greed." Greed screamed as her horn sucked out smoke from his nostrils.
Pinkie let out a gasp," Hey, what are you doing to him?"
"I'm draining him, and then I'm leaving." Pride said, before teleporting away.
Noxus fired at the spot where she once was,"Get back here!"
Greed wheezed as he layed on the ground.
Pinkie ran over to Greed, "Oh my Celestia, Greed! I'm so sorry, I didn't want this. What can I do to help you? How?"
Greed looked at Pinkie,"Write... Write a note..."
Pinkie nodded, and pulled out a sheet of paper. She then grabbed Greed by the body and put his head to the paper, "Ok, tell me what to write." she said, tears in her eyes.
'Lilith, it's Cutter. I just want to say... I'm sorry. I fought that gang war to protect you, so we could have a place to get married... Lilith, my love, I'm sorry for not going with you... and it looks like I'll never see you again... good bye..." Cutter coughed,"That's it."
"I...I'm sorry," Pinkie said a she sat him back down in a pencil box. "I, really didn't mean for you to end up like this. Don't worry... you'll see her again one day," Pinkie sniffled a little. "Mommy usually says that ponies like you tend to find each other again."
Cutter gave a soft smile,"Thank... you..." His eyes closed.
Spire shot his magmaul to the box, burning it.
Pinkie Pie nodded and brought a little kazoo, playing it.
"We just did this with a pencil box." Sylux said as she saluted.
"We've gone native." Trace said with a hint of sadness in his voice.
Wiping the tears away, Pinkie Pie smiled and hugged the six hunter, " Welcome home!!!"
Sylux muttered,"Let's just move on, I think I hear some raiders in the west..."
"Ok Syle!" Pinkie said, jumping up onto Sylux's bak
Sylux gasped,"God you're heavy..." She groaned as they went towards a large metal door.
"Hey, who're those a-holes?" A raider said from above.
"We're the a-holes who need to work out aggression and you're Raider number 54! It's been pages! Here, have a sack of caps and a low free yogurt," Pinkis said, handing #54 the yogurt and caps
54 gasped,"You again!" He took the yogurt and caps,"Now I'll take my revenge!"
Pinkie opened the yogurt, which immediately became a giant hand that picked up 54, banged him around a bit and then threw him into three stories over, bounced into Applejack’s Day Off and then back here. Where Pinkie waited with a giant frying pan
54 whimpered as he fell off the frying pan.
"Anypony else want to mess with Barbra? Or James?" sh then brought out a Wok, "I should warn you, Barbra and James are having marital problems right now and they need to work out their issues. Seriously...they need to get their act together, they know they love each other."
The other raiders looked at each other in confusion, before charging at them.
“CHARGE! Pinkie said, but then stopped for a second as she looked at the two pans, "Seriously? Now! Come on...bthink of your kids," Pinkie said, bringing out three little saucepans. "Come on, we need to get-"
Bang!
"She was interrupted by a shot that struck the wok. The bullet pirced the wok and left a giant hole in it, and then it fell out of Pinkie's hooves, "James!" cried out Barbra as she ran to her husband's side.
"Daddy!" called the three children.
"Babs... I am so sorry. I am sorry I was so unfaithful. I never meant to cheat on you with Jasmine, the sugar tray. I was lost and confused. But I-I-" he moaned
"Don't talk, rest now," Barbra said, taking her husband's handle and crying into it.
James coughed up bits of stuck rice, "No, I need to say this. I loved you. Please, Jasmine is pregnant with my child, take care of her, please...they are innocent.'
Barbra rubbed her flat end, "I'll help raise both our children, my husband."she said, tears falling down. Then she watched as her husband closed his eyes, "James... James? JAMES!!!!! Those bastards!!!"
Pinkie then picked up her pan, which now had a pair of googly eyes that were narrowed into a set of angry eyes, lowered eyebrows, and a sunhat. Growling, Pinkie yelled in a soft female voice, "You will pay for taking my children's father away!!!" she then charged into the thick of battle.
"And thus, did a legend get born. Of a pan who would stand against the darkness. Her name would become revered, but the story of her two children not yet born... would be legends," Pinkie narrated as she began to hit the raiders with her pan.
Sylux screamed in rage,"You don't make sense!" She zapped several raiders,"I'm going to take my anger on these defenseless a-holes!"
With Pinkie making audible noises, she began to bash and knock out raiders left and right. Some raiders tried to jump from up above, but Pinkie miraculously would dodge out of the way of their jumps, as if she was able to see their movements coming. Two raiders aimed their guns at her, But Pinkie threw some bubble gum into their rivals.
Looking at Weavel, Pinkie happily bounced on top of his head, causing the rider that aimed his scope at him to miss the shot. Pinkie then called out to Noxus, and when he turned, a raider with a sword managed to slip up.
Noxus fired at the raider with the sword, freezing them while Spire knocked several of them aside.
Pinkie Pie grabbed one of the frozen raiders and used his bodie to ride across the battlefield, throwing slices of plates at each raider and throwing static balloons that latched onto the raiders and sent them flying.;
Weavel cut several of them down, while Kanden let out a whoop as he fired electro balls at several of his foes.
Pinkie brought out a bat, "Hey Kanden! Fast ball!"
Kanden smiled and threw a raider to Pinkie.
Pinkie then knocked the raider into a group of a bunch of his friends, Then she hit one of Kanden's electro balls into the air. The raiders all watched and began to chase after it like trying to get a baseball, but then as the ball fell onto them... they remembered that those things hurt
The other raiders facehoofed at their comrades’ apparent idiocy. They then turned and noticed the hunters all pointing their guns at them.
"Alright, Omega formation!: Noxus shouted.
"You're lucky, this move is more powerful with Samus around." Trace chuckled.
Pinkie had her cannon out, and then arched an eyebrow. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out Sylux's Badass Bounty Hunter Manual and read it it for a second before putting it back. Then she went back to aiming it.
The entire group fired as one, releasing a beam of pure white energy, striking the raiders down.
"That was so cool! And Twilight said adding the 'Cool White Beam' to my Party Cannon from the Gods was a silly idea. Well, who's laughing now, Twi-Twi!?"
she then brought out a hoof puppet that looked like Twilight, but with a pair of large nerd glasses on, "You are Pinkie. I understand your brilliance."
"Sci-Twi, what are you doing here? This timeline hasn't gotten to Friendship Games yet," Pinkie asked the puppet.
Sci-Twi blushed, "Oh sorry."
Then a Twilight with little wings popped up on her other hoof, "Sorry Pinkie, I was still time-traveling. Yes, you're right, I bow to your brilliance."
"Than you," Pinkie said, bowing to her puppet.
Weavel gave a sad sigh as the others broke apart.
"You ok, Weavel?" Pinkie asked.
"No," Weavel said,"It's what Greed said about me."
"Oh that," Pinkie said, rolling her eyes back, "I wouldn't pay him no mind. He was just being a big jerk about who he was. He was just wanting very pony else to be like him."
"But... I did want power." Weavel said,"That's how I met these guys! I wanted technology and went on a mission to gain a powerful weapon!"
"Yeah," Pinkie said, sitting with Weavel, "But do you want it now?"
"Well, some part of me does." He looked at Pinkie,"Maybe it's the pirate in me."
Pinkie chuckled, "Well, of course some part of you does! You can't change that, any more than my friends can stop from being who they are, no matter how they grow."
Applejack shook her head as she watched Trixie's show end, "Ah can't believe it. After all she has been through, that mare is still loud, ego-centric, and full of herself. Ah mean she's just like-"
Pinkie popped out from under her friend's hat, "How you still are going to put a mountain on your shoulders even though we keep telling you stop, but you never are going to learn because you are about as stubborn as Maude on a bad day?"
"H... yeah," Applejack said.
"Some part of you will always have that reflex, but" Pinkie smiled. 'You know what's important?"
"What?" Weavel asked.
"Who you are now," Pinkie giggle. "You're here and a little smarter. You don't want to be that pirate anymore, and what is what makes you stronger than he is, because you can go through his bad traits and be your own cool stallion."
Weavel nodded,"Thanks, I needed that."
The group walked on, until a sound of banging reached their ears.
"Wait," Pinkie asked, "Banging as in the sound of clanging or banging as in in something that would definitely amp up the rating?
Clanging
"Thanks" Pinkie said, before pronking off in the direction of the banging. Then after walking away from the banging couple, went to the sound of the clanging, "I wonder what that is?"
"Hunters, come out and play~" A voice said,”Hunters, come out and play~!”
"OK! Play what?" Pinkie asked, bringing out a ton of board games, most were Hasbro variety, "Because why would I want to play anything else?"
"Meh," Weavel brought out a NES,"We're more fans of video games."
A pony in power armor came out, and began to fire a gatling gun.
"EEEP!" Pinke shouted running away from he gatling gun, "crud, crudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrud!!!!!!"
Spire stood in front of them, and blasted a magma shot into the pony.
Pinkie popped up from behind Spire, "And this is why we brought him!"
Suddenly, a minotaur came in, and swatted Spire away.
"I mean,that is why I brought her?" Pinkie said, point to Sylux.
Sylux began to tap on her arm.
"Oh no, go on, finish what you're doing. We're good. Don't forget to tag it," Pinkie said.
Sylux looked up and fired her electro gun, before getting stopped by Kanden,"Wait,"
The minotaur looked at Kanden,"Ah, I sense that we are kindred spirits. You are as wrathful as I."
"Wait, if you’re Wrath, then where are Don, Mike, and Leo?" Pinkie asked.
Wrath blinked,"What are you talking about?"
"Your name, duh!" Pinki then looked at her list of most wanted, "OH, Wrath! Sorry, you pronunciation makes it sound like Raph. An old poker friend of mine!"
Wrath blinked,"Uh, nevermind. I challenge your greenish-yellow friend to a duel"
"Wait, aren't you going this wrong?" Pinkie said handing wrath a tiny glove, "Now slap him."
Wrath sighed, then slapped Kanden with the glove, which Kanden grabbed and threw to the floor.
Pinkie Pie then struggled to give Kandan a giant glove that belonged to Ultraman, and let him have it "Now, you slap him"
Kanden chuckled,"Okay!" He slapped Wrath.
Pinkie smiled as she watched Wrath fly around, "He'll be back, until then. Are you sure that you are ready for this being duel?"
Kanden nodded,"This is what I was made for, literally."
"You were... made for it?" Pinkie asked, raised an eyebrow while she push out the world’s tiniest pillow in preparation for when Wrath landed again.
"Yeah, I was created as a super-soldier" Kanden said.
"Well, yeah, but I thought you were made as a super soldier to help other, not just fighting and kicking Wrath's heiney," Pinkie said.
"No I was created to fight, and kill." Kanden said," That's all I'm for, really."
Pinkie frowned a little, "Aw, don't say that. I bet there is more to you. I bet you can make some awesome cakes!" Pinkie smiled as Wrath hit the world tiniest pillow with a soft thump
"Huh, how comfortable!" Wrath said.
"Cakes?" Kanden said.
"Cakes pies, anything you might like to do in your spare time," Pinkie said, a bright smile on her face.
Kanden put a hoof to his chin,"I'll think about-" He blocked a fist from Wrath.
Pinkie, now in a cheerleader outfit, grinned, "I'll leave this to you
Kanden punched Wrath in the stomach, and sent an electric shock through him. Wrath growled, punching Kanden across the room. Kanden got up, and picked up a spear to throw at him, stabbing Wrath in the chest. Wrath ran at Kanden, and swung his arm to knock him down. Kanden suddenly hit him between the legs, and then sent several electric balls at his chest. Kanden kicked him in the back for good measure.
"Rick-a-brack kick that guy in the back,"Pinkie said, putting on cheerleader outfits for the other hunters, "Come on, let’s give it to him!! Go Kanden, Go Kaden, give that no sass, just up and kick his- “
Wrath uttered an,”Ah, grass!” He said as he hit the ground.
Sylux growled,"This is degrading..."
Kanden was grabbed by Wrath and thrown to the wall. Kanden struggled, before aiming his Volt Driver into his face, zapping him. Kanden then grabbed both his arms and threw him to the ground.
Wrath then slammed Kanden hard against the ground. That was when Pinkie appeared, dressed in a lovely dress, "Kanden, don't fail now. Remember your heart and all that you fight for. We... We've haven’t been together long enough for you to lose your heart now. Think of me. Think of Spire, who you know you want to be with, despite your heart now where it is going. Now fight."
Kanden got up and began to punch Wrath repeatedly, and then headbutted him before back kicking him to the wall. He aimed his Volt Driver into him.
Wrath screamed, before falling. He began to laugh,"That... was fun..."
"Aw, glad you enjoy it so much!" Pinkie giggled.
Wrath coughed,"Thank you... now I can die in peace..."
"Wait, what?" Pinkie asked, a little shocked, "Oh come o, it wasn't that bad, was it?"
"My Volt Driver did a lot of internal damage." Kanden said looking down at the ground.
Wrath coughed,"If... I had to go... this is how I would want it..."
“But... can;t we fix him?" Pinkie asked, feeling a little down, "But, why would you want to die like this?"
"Because..." Wrath smiled,"I don't wish to under the control... of that monster..."
"But...there has to be a better way than getting killed," Pinkie said, looking down.
"This is alright... I'll be in Valhalla where my kids are...."
"Is... there anything more we can do to help you?” Pinkie asked, sniffling a little.
"Burn my... body..." Wrath said as his eyes began to close. Energy began to emit from his body, and into the horn of Pride.
"You!" Pinkie growled when she saw Pride. "Couldn't you wait until he was better before using a vampire move?"
"No." Pride said, teleporting away.
"You know, that was only her second appeared in this little story and already I want to mash her face into some pudding!" Pinkie growled.
"Us too." Noxus growled.
"So, let’s roll," Pinkie said, getting to Sylux's back. Looking to Kanden, she smiled, "Anyway, as I was telling you before. You could probably find something more to enjoy than just being a super soldier. You just need to-”
Twilight smiled as she hugged her friend, "Thanks Pinkie” She held up her law scroll and began to write.
“-Try," Pinkie said.
"Try," Kanden smiled,"Yeah, I'll do that."
"So, who do you guys think is next?" Pinkie asked lay with her back on Sylux
Trace cocked his Imperialist rifle,"I hope it's Envy. I'm itching to get a good shot off of her."
"Oh, I hope it’s not lust," Pinkie said. "Considering the usual material that the writers have been throwing the innuendo jokes will be through the roof!"
A deep sigh was heard,"Hello Pinkie."
Pinkie Pie gasped as she heard the voice, "Oh, my Celestia!!!!" turning around, she saw the donkey. "CRANKY!!!!" with a small sonic boom, she jumped off of Sylux and glomped her old friend.
"Pinkie, what are you doing here?" Cranky asked in a muffled voice.
"Oh, I time traveled... and dimension hopped, apparently," Pinkie said with a big grin. Then she go to the top of the cart, "So... what's in the cart?"
"Dead things, please don't touch them." Cranky tried to say.
"Why?" Pinkie asked, lifting up the cart. "I mean, you will really stink if you have dead things littered around.”
"It's supposed to be symbolic." He sighed,"Look, I'm really not supposed to talk to you like this. I'm supposed to be evil now."
"Aw, don't be evil, Cranky, that's boring!" Pinkie said, smiling.
"But's it's all I can be! Ever since..." Cranky stopped.
"Since when?" Pinkie asked.
"Matilda died." Cranky whispered.
"Wait, oh my gosh, I’m so sorry," Pinkie said, hugging Cranky.
Cranky whimpered,"She couldn't escape the bombs, Pinkie, I tried to protect her, but she pushed me into the stable..."
Pinkie did let go as she held Cranky close, saying nothing as she let him cry into her shoulder
"Matilda... why..." Cranky cried.
Pride appeared,"I suppose I should've expected this."
"If you touch him., I swear I'll never forgive you!" Pinkie growled, turning to look at Pride.
Pride smiled as Cranky began to scream,"Sorry, Pinkie." Cranky gasped
"No, no, nonnonono. Cranky, please, don't," Pinkie looked at Pride, aiming her bazooka, "Get back here you monster!"
"No." Pride said, before teleporting away.
42's voice echoed,"Aw, did we take your friend away?"
Pinkie Pie collapsed to her knees as she cried, letting Noxus pet her, "Y-yes, yes she did. that monster took away my friend. And now I just want to beat her. Like I am going to beat you!!!"
"As if. Can you really beat yourself?" 42 asked.
"I beat myself off plenty of times...” Pinkie muttered.
42 coughed,"Um, TMI."
"And after I am done beating you off, I will hoof paint you across the fur with your hide. Then I will butter your muffin like you wouldn't believe, followed by a quick visit to the batcave. After which, I will play with your piano for hours and hours. Then you and I will knit ourselves into a frenzy. Why am I turned on?" Pinkie said.
The hunters just stood.
"Why am I turned on?" Trace asked.
Pinkie cocked her head, "I have no idea maybe you have a few things you want to tell us? But that is not important right now Right now, it's the face that I am gonna kick your sweet patootie and you have stopped listening to me haven't you. But lo! I see you," Pinkie said. walking slowly towards a pair of blue eyes. "I see you, think you can trick me with your innocent cute eyes. What do you think I am a nicom-" she turned the lights on to see her reflection "Poop."
Spire looked around,"When did the lights go OFF?!"
"Oh, found an old light switch right behind you," Pinkie said, pointing behind the hunters.
Spire blinked as he looked behind them,"Okay..."
Noxus put a claw on Pinkie's back,"Hey, I know you lost a friend, I'm sorry."
Pinkie shot up, and then lowered her shoulders. For a few moments, she began to sniffle,"H-hey, don't worry about e. I'll be ok, really."
"Are you sure?" Noxus asked.
Pinkie brought out a big smile ,"Yeparoonie!I am perfectly fine. I... got a hold of things, don't worry."
Noxus nodded,"Alright then, let's move on." He turned to the door,"Anyone got a key?"
"I do!" Pinkie said, bringing out a giant ram, "do your duty, Battering!" Then she stuck a needle into the ram's behind, causn him to ram right into the door.
Raider 54 stood behind the door, eating a donut.
The ram slammed the door, which in turn, squished Raider 54. As the donut few into the air, Pinkie Pie grabbed it in her mouth and chomped on it, "Yum! Thanks!!!"
Raider 54 whimpered as he attempted to readjust himself.
Pinkie lifted the door, "Oh, hey Aumber 54!"
"Ow." 54 said simply.
"How does he keep appearing so much?" Spire asked.
"Oh,. I recognize his cutie mark, he’s of the running gag clan," Pinkie smiled
"The what?" Sylux asked.
Smiling, Pinkie nodded, "The running gag clan, they tend to pop up once in a while to remind ponies of a joke they like.":
"That's just... weird." Sylux said with a shake of her head.
An alarm sounded in the room.
As Pinkie heard the alarm she jumped to the head of the nearest bounty hunter, "What was that?"
"Oh, we just alerted the nearest security bots." Noxus said. He pointed to a large sentry bot coming their way.
"That's bad," Pinkie said. "Should I panic?"
Trace chuckled,"Nah, we've faced a lot worse." The hunters aimed their guns at the thing as it fired a missile at them.
"Well, I am still going to panic... AHHHHHHHH!!!!" Pinkie screamed as she ran around the robot. As she kept screaming, she began to look at the bolts and nuts of the bot, measured them and began to scribbled them on a note las. Her voice still ringing and echoing in the room, the quick earth pony took out a wrench and a screwdriver and began to attack the bolts and nuts of the bot. Then, still screaming at the top of her lungs, she ran to Sylux and Noxus, giving them each a piece of a rubber band. Thenm when the band was stretched,she pulled out "The World's Third Largest Hammer, and began to pull it out. Screaming still, she launched the hammer the bot. "I'm done," Pinkie smiled at the hammer hit the bot with a light tap. Afetr the hammer hit with a little tap, the bot exploded.
Weavel put up a claw,"What are the second and third largest?"
The bot exploded behind them, "They are only to revealed in my time of greatest need. That, or an evil killer Dinosaur Turtle coming out of th woodwork, mutated by the MAS into capturing potential princesses.” Pinkie explained.
A giant dinosaur turtle came out of the building. It roared,"Where is the next princess!?"
Pinkie sighed, "She is in the next fic over you large reptilian monstrosity!" with a growl, she brought out a large green wallet with a letter L and the words 'The Second Largest mallet in the world, and slammed the dino turtle over into the nearest Pony fic.
"See what I mean? and I swear it happens everytime I mention D...you know." Pinkie said, putting the hammer back into hammerspace
...
...
...
No, I am not sorry for that last one
Sylux cocked her head,"How, what?"
A seemingly random earth pony cocked his head,"I agree."
"Oh, hi there seemingly random unicorn!" Pinkie said, waving hi.
"Hey, I'm Gluttony." The stallion said.
"Hey Gluttony, I'm Pinkie Pie," Pinkie said, "Hey...um Sylux, what wa the names of the sins?"
Sylux aimed her horncannon at Gluttony,"One of them, was Gluttony."
Gluttony's mouth gave a faint glow,"Please don't do that, man."
"Why?" Pinkie Pie asked
"'Cuz then I'd have to eat that energy, man. Like, I get real hungry, and I just can't resist, man."
"But man, do you always like, have to eat that crazy energy?" Pinkie asked, now dressed with a beatnik cap and purple sweater. Noxus now found himself with a drum, Weavel with a guitar, Sylux in a maid outfit serving drinks to a bunch of random raiders, enclave, alicorns, and a mime,. All of whom had coffee in front of them as Gluttony continued to talk on stage along with Pinkie.
Trace had a tambourine, a peace necklace, and wore a single sunglass, and Spire was inside a lava lamp, looking very unhappy.
"But man, I get real hungry..." Gluttony said.
Sylux grumbled,"Why am I in this dress?"
"How about some sweet rolls, you cool cat?" Pinkie asked
"Sure." The stallion said, holding out his hoof.
Pinkie, very nicely put the sweet roll into the stallion's hoof.
Gluttony ate the sweet roll.
"See, as a matter of fact," Pinkie then put on a red jacket," Lets what else we can feed you!"
Pulling out a large over, Pinkie grabbed Spire by the head while she handed everypony else some baking tools. Then she smiled at Gluttony
How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan
So eat it, just eat it
Pinkie Pie started to cook up various sweets and treats, while the other hunters started to cook to the beat. On Pinkie's back read "My cakes belong to the world, my heart belongs to Cheese Sandwich"
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate
So eat it
Jumping up onto a table, she began to dance around, spinning and twirling to the music as she bent over and handed a huge plate of twinkies
Your table manners are some cryin' shame
You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it, just eat it
A cake rolled out from one of the ovens, and then Pinkie popped out of it, wearing a black bikini top and a banner that read, "Free party with every lick" across her belly. Taking out a tower of pies, she threw it at Gluttony
You better listen, better do what you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold
So eat it
Suddenly, the bounty hunters found themselves facing off against the sins, only to have Pinkie pop up in between them,
I don't care if you're full
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt, have some more spam
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
If it's gettin' cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it (oh lord)
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it (oh no)
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
42 slammed her phone on the table,"What do you mean they're having a musical number!?"
Pride frowned,"It is quite strange, Ma'am, they just started to sing."
Pinkie looked up at the heavens, "42, if you are a real pie, then you know one cannot resist the allure of the musical number! It is the Mystery of the Pie, right Marble?"
(200 years ago)
Marble smiled and nodded "Mmmmhmmm."
(210 years later)
"And that is how I became the musician I am today" the stallion said to Samus as she passed him by in the "Darkest of Tides Reunion Movie"
(5 years ago)
"And now they are performing a conga line down the street to the warehouse where we stored the gin, vodka, tonic, budweiser, miller, red wine, white wine, blue wine, pink wine, black wine, yellow wine, Samuel Adams, fosters, orange juice, the bourbon, and the omega party cannon that runs on alcohol MK30. Anything else to report ma’am?" The raider said over the phone. He looked in shock as a stallion gave him a strange look.
“How did I get here?” Sam Adams asked.
"... Stop them?" 42 suggested.
"Yes ma’am!" The raider said, running to the warehouse and opening the door, and jumped back when Pinkie popped her head out, a wet t-shirt o n her body.
"Oh shoot!" Pinkie said, turning to look into the warehouse, "Guys calm down, it’s the Dean, turn down the music." turning to smile, she grinned, "Yeessss?"
"What is going on in there?" the raider asked, suddenly dressed in a suit.
"So totally not a wild frat party and I was so not involved in a wet t-shirt contest. Hehe, it’s chilly," Pinkie giggled.
In the back a raider asked, "Shouldn't it be a wet underwear contest?"
"Look" an alicorn grumbled, "We ordered 20 t-shirts and we are going to use them!"
"Oh, I see, not a frat party. Ok, but if you two get out of line, then it’s the ax for you and Beta House," the raider said.
"Ok, Dean Bean," Pinkie said, waving by.
Bean then walked away, only to get hit with green slime, "BETA HOUSE" growling he brought out a phone, "42, it’s those college students, they're at it again and I have proof!"
42 was suddenly dressed in a suit, and sitting at a desk with the name tag,”Headmaster 42”. She growled as she slammed her hoof on the desk,”Darn it, Bean! Go over, and teach them a lesson!”
"Right!" said Bean as he opened the warehouse door, and stepped back when Pinkie Pie popped out in black eyeliner, and wearing a black 'Heavy Metal Heads Apocalypse 1306 tour" shirt.
"Dude! rock on! This was like the most head bangiest tour ever! Here, have a t-shirt!!!!" Pinkie said, banging her head as she gave Bean a t-shirt.
"Dude like that is awesome!" said the stallion, who suddenly wore a mohawk, before walking away, "42, that was like the most awesome concert ever!"
"C-c-c-concert!? You fool! You're playing right into her hooves! Go back and kill her!" 42 said, dressed with a long white beard and a suit that had a name tag,”Typical Non-Fun ‘Old Person.” She drank her tea,”Most unorthodox!”
"Yes mam!" he said., going back to the door, opening it to only reveal Pinkie with an yamaka on her head.
"Oj, you're just in time! I found out that Sylux never had a Bar Mitzvah, so I threw one for her!" Pinkie said, waving to her friend as she partied to the musc. "Here, Matzel Tov!"
The stallion took the glass," Why, thank you! Such a nice mare" he skipped and then called 42" 42, there was a really nice Bar Mitzva going on in there. You should really get Sylux a present."
"You’re right, I should." 42 said, now wearing a yamaka. She out of the phone and went to knock on the door,"I've come to give Sylux a present!"
The warehouse opened to several beaten and dead alicorns, ex-enclave soldiers, raiders, and a very fat Gluttony.All of this was obscured from 42's vision by a very giant bomb, with Pinkie resting on top of it, "Ah, it took 3 party cannons, several costume changes, and a ton of cake batter, but it was all worth it for this one party bomb," she sighed as she aimed her very large Party Bomb MX 30000 at 42, "Boom." she said calmly
42 could only look on with terror. She held up a sign that said,"Eep."
(CENSORED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE!!!)
Gluttony sighed in contentment,"That was fun man."
"Tell me about it man," Pinki said, pulling out a lollipop from her white cream covered body, sucked on it and blew out a cherry smoke ring, "Was it good for you? Because it was for me. and the best part is... I think we shocked Pride long enough so she won't kill you!"
"Then what's that weird smoke from my nose?" Gluttony asked.
Noxus turned and fired on Pride, who put up a barrier against it.
Growling, Pinkie Pie yelled, "Hey, you get back here! Leave him alone!" she said throwing potatoes.
"No." Pride said, teleporting away as Gluttony's eyes began to droop.
"Oh, what's happening..." Gluttony said, his eyes looking at Pinkie.
"Gluttony, nonono," Pinkie said, running to him. "You are going to be all right. Ok, stay here, you can do this, come on." she whimpered.
"Hey, tell that Sylux girl to come closer...." Gluttony said.
Pinkie nodded, and brought Sylux to the fallen earth pony.
"You, you thirst for power. You are as gluttonous as I in that respect." He looked at Sylux,"It's that thirst that keeps you going, and will destroy you in the end..." His eyes closed.
Pinkie Pie trembled a little as she watched the rotund earth pony fade away, and began to whimper. Sniffling, she muttered, "And I thought... that maybe that would've saved him. I thought that maybe getting weird and distracting Pride would've protected him." tears rolled down her cheeks, but then she sniffed and put on her smiled. "He's wrong, isn't he Sylux."
Sylux said nothing, but only looked away.
Pinkie played with Sly's mane, Because I think he is."
"He's right. That's part of how I got started. After the Galactic Federation killed my parents, I decided to get stronger, but it wasn't enough. I needed more power! Do you understand, I am power hungry!" Sylux yelled.
Pinkie giggled, "Nope! Because I am not seeing it! I mean, if you were power hungry then why are you hanging out with us right now? Why haven't you killed us all when our backs are turned, why are you here at all?"
Sylux scoffed,"Because..." She turned away,"because you're my..."
A seductive female voice echoed,"Aw, ain't that cute?"
"Come on, say it... say it, I won't stop pestering you until-" Pinkie paused as she heard the voice. "Mom, is that you? I'm sorry fro walking in on you and Dad."
(200 years ago)
"It's ok Pinkamena," Cloudy said.
(300 years later)
Trixie walked alongside Arch, "So Arch, tell me more about the... hey what?"
(100 years ago)
Pinkie looked with an arched eyebrow ,"If we get any weirder with these timelines we are going to need a map, or Chris Noland."
A black coated mare swayed her hips as she walked to Pinkie,"Hello there, I'm Lust
"HI!" Pinkie squeaked, waving to the black mare, "I'm Pinkie Pie."
Lust swished her tail in Pinkie's direction,"Ooh, hello cutie." She raised a wing and sliced at her.
"Yipe!" Pinkie squeaked, "Why did you do that? And how! And what do you work out with!
"I have metal wingblades, and I workout with Bowflex!" She flexed her biceps.
"Oh, nice and posable," Pinkie said, "I run on the high calorie diet!"
"Oh, nice!" she ducked under a swipe from Sylux. She then swiped at Pinkie again.
"Thank you, you ain't so bad yourself," Pinkie said, holding up a rubber bat and hitting Lust
Lust blinked,"Rubber? How annoying!" She sliced the bat in half.
The bat then suck to the blade, "A gummy bat!" Pinkie said.
"What!?" She tried to shake the bat off.
It began to stick to her sides and legs, while it did Pinkie fired a confetti shot, "All wrapped up!”
Lust moaned as she got wrapped up,"Oooh, Kinky."
"Oh you like that huh?" Pinkie asked.
"Oh, baby, yes!"
"How about I just pour hot chocolate and whipped cream on your sexy body!!" Pinkie said.
"Oh yes!" Lust said.
The male members of the Hunters began to open their eyes wide.
"Fine then," Pinkie said, as she began to lick the cream off of Lust’s body. Then she began to massage her flanks as well, "And here, how about a massage?”
"Oh, oh, OH!" Lust began to moan as Pinkie gently moved along her smooth body.
Fic rating: Teen
"And how about I nibble on your crunch little neck and ear, nom," Pinkie said, while rubbing ice cream along her sexy back. Pinkie then began to whisper and lightly blow in her ear.
The male hunters crossed their legs.
Rating: Teen+
Pinkie pushed Lust down, running her hoof along her enemy's chest, "Yeah, that's right you like this, don't ya?"
"Oooh yes." Lust moaned.
Rating: Mature.
Pinkie then began to kiss along the neck and shoulder, taking out an eclair and sliding it up and down Lust's body, reaching her belly button.
The male hunters then fainted.
Fic rating: Mature+
Pinkie growed lustfully, "That's it babe, just enjoy the big Finish!" she said, pulling back the white eclair and pushing it forward, releasing the creamy goodness on the legs, "Sorry, I usually let loose inside..."
“That's okay, I don't mind." Lust licked off the frosting.
Rating: Why is this not on AdultFanfiction!!?
Pinkie got up, "Shall I buy you dinner, m’lady?"
"Oh, thank you!" Lust said, then she screamed as Pride appeared behind her.
"No, nononono, no again" Pinkie said,pushing Lust out of that, and then put her into a brick house, "You aren't coming anywhere near her!”
Pride back hoofed Pinkie away and used her horn to suck Lust's energy.
Pinkie let out a grunt of pain as she is thrown into the side of the building, her ribs bruising, "Owwww...." slowly getting up, her eyes open in horror as Lust's energy was taken
Lust fell to the ground as Pride disappeared. Lust coughed as she looked up at Spire,"You... you Lust for the sounds of your people. You're like me in that respect..."
Pinkie stood slowly back up (Don’t feel it, don't let it show.) she thought to herself, quickly wiping her tears away and smiling, "Well of course he does. We all get a little homesick once in awhile. But, I bet he is just as happy here in his new home!" with a little bounce, she patted Spir on the back, "Ain’t ya?"
Spire gave a heavy sigh,"My people are presumed dead, but I keep searching, hoping to find a trace of them."
"I know." Lust coughed,"I wish to find out what happened to my race: The Flutter Ponies. Please, Hunter, find out what happened... to them." She smiled as her body became a soft pink color and her wings went transparent, before her eyes closed.
Pinkie's eyes went wide when she saw the flutterpony, "Oh...you poor thing. I'm so sorry." she said, hugging the lifeless body. She gave a few soft sobs before getting up. A smile on her face, she began to hop away, "Come on, we still have one sin to meet!"
Trace grinned,"Good, I want a little duel with her!" he said as the group broke the door down and walked across the street. A shot hit the ground at Pinkie's hoof.
“HEY! Watch it little bullet, I was walking here!" Pinkie said, growled.
William J Bullet (formerly of Japan, so traditionally you should say his last name first) popped out of the ground with his top hat and monocle and bowed, "My deepest apologies" and then he flew off.
Raider Number 54 ran to the place where he shot Pinkie,"But-How-Why?"
"Simple, your airspeed was off by a kilometers, you didn't adjust for drag, and your eye piece is missing, As for why, because it was a joke, duh!" she said. "But don't worry, I can help you adjust for drag.”
(Sparkler appeared with a little stick in her magic, "Ok kids, let’s see if you can outsmart the reader!" Sparkler said to a gathered group of ponified digidestined
Yay!
"Now, what is another term for drag?"
Crossdressing!
"And is the author the type to make an obvious joke?"
Yes!
"Which means that he will probably go for another joke just to through the read off, right?"
YAY!!!!!
"Lets watch!”)
Pinkie, somehow, Put 54 into a go cart with a powerful engine on the back. Next to him was a pony with a helmet and a M5 on the said of his cart, "Thee, this guy will teach you all you need to know about drag racing. Ready, Mach?"
"Yes I am," Mach Go said, looking down the street.
"Now, I will need to select your road for you," Pinkie said, grabbing the Wii U remote from Spire, "Now, let’s see, Ah ! Rainbow Road, good luck!" hse said, pressing the start button sending both Speed and 54 racing off into the distance.
"No, not Rainbow Road!" 54 screamed.
Another bullet struck Pinkie's cheek. A shine glimmered from afar in a nearby building
"Ow!" Pinkie squeaked t the bullet cut her cheek, "Who shot that?"
Trace turned and aimed his Imperialist Mk II at the shine,"Envy." He fired, blocking another bullet shot.
"Ok, that was cool but impossible to do." Pinkie said, pointing out with a chart, before ducking under the buillet.
"Ok, I need to do something to find the sniper, hmmm... what would Twilight do?"
Pinkie then popped up with Twilight's hair style, "Books! First we'll triangulate the mesmerism and then double check the additions."
"No that's it, how about Dashie?"
"Ok, so I'll fly in awesome," Pinkie said, with Dash's mane style," No, Fluttershy?"
"Eeeeep," Pinkie squeaked in a perfect imitation of Fluttershy's voice, "No, Rarity?"
"Darling, we should really invite the shooter to tea," Pinkie said, laying back on a couch," No, Applejack?"
"Whoo doggy, Ah bet if just smash right through that sucker we'll be in business!" Pinkie said, "No, that isn't it...hmmm, what would pop do?"
(200 years earlier)
"I would put a rock through it" Quartz said, nodding sagely
(19 years earlier)
"I don't understand, most babies would be asleep, but yours is bouncing in her crib. Ever since we let that Apple Family walk by..." the doctor said, looking at two month old Pinkie.
(210 years later)
"Thanks Pop!" Pinkie said, grabbing a little bitty rock.
Sylux looked at Pinkie,"What's a rock going to do?" She asked as Trace shot another bullet out of the air.
"Shh, it's sleeping.” Pinkie said. Then she smiled as the rock woke up and rolled over with a cap and diploma, "He just graduated to college you know."
"... it's a rock." Sylux asked,"How is it sentient?"
Spire looked at her.
"You're an alien, you don't count!" Sylux yelled as a bullet hit her helmet.
Weavel held up a claw,”The pirates had a golem named Thardus.”
“That also doesn’t count!” Sylux shouted.
"Aw, now he graduated college and has a family," Pinkie smiled as there wa now a big rock, a little rock, two baby rocks, and a dog rock (woof). "Now, he is kissing her goodbye before going off to war." Pinkie then loaded the rock into Trace's gun, "fire behind you!"
Trace blinked,"Sure thing, Cupcake..." He fired behind himself without looking.
The rock flew through the air, hitting the wall. It then bounced off the wall and to the sky where it hit a passing by spritebot, where it flew down through space into a pipe. Hiere it swirled around until it shot out into a rubber band fatcory and into a rubber band. Then it began to pull back against the band until it shot out of the factory and through a window. It then bounced off three walls until it broke into another window and bounced alongside a wall and rolled down the stairs, where a raider kicked it into the air and bounced off a wandering mime. The mime grew angry, picked the rock in his magic and threw it out the window, where it struck Envy upside the head.
Envy fell out of the building and rolled towards them,"You, you are a good shot. No wonder I sense a kindred spirit within you, Trace."
"What do you mean a kindred spirit?" Trace asked.
"You too are envious of others. You are only the second best shot, and the sixth best Hunter, compared to Samus Ara-" She gasped as Pride used her horn to suck out her essence.
Pride should then realize that she sucked out a ballon, "Surprise!" Pinkie said, shaking her flank. "I was expecting you this time, and that is why I switched her with that!” She rolled. “HA! Youhave to be pretty quick to get one over Pinkamena Diane Pie!"
Pride snarled, taking Pinkie in her Telekinesis and throwing her to the wall,"Imbecile!"
"AHH!" Pinkie yelled, and slowly got up shaking her head,"Y-you are just grumpy that I tricked you- Why is everything spinny?"
Pride used a shield to block the other hunters’ shots as she took Envy in her grasp and sucked her essence out,"There, now my plan can begin." She teleported away.
Noxus ran to Pinkie,"Are you alright?"
"F-fine," Pinkie said, breathing slowly as she cleared her head. Then she looked up at Trace, "Are you alright?"
Trace nodded,"I'm fine. She just told the truth about me." He said with a sigh,"I'm not the best, that's the problem. Samus is better than all of us in our eyes."
Pinkie Pie shrugged her shoulders, "So?"
"So, that means I'm probably never going to be the best!" Trace sighed,"It's not too bad, it gives me something to strive for." he chuckled
"Exactly, and besides! It’s always fun to improve," Pinkie said, "The best are always at the top, but bet you they have someone better than them. This means you are helping her as well! And that makes it all the more fun!”
Trace looked at Pinkie,"That actually makes me feel better, thanks."
Noxus smiled at Pinkie,"You know, for a weird mare, you certainly have a lot of insight." He looked at the door to a large building,"Now, let us go to our final battles."
"Insight? But I can't see inside of me," Pinkie said with a smile. "Right, let’s go rock and kick some skinny patooie!" she said putting on goggles from out of nowhere.
The hunters broke the door down, and saw a whole army of raiders waiting for them.
42 chuckled from her office"Hahaha, I suppose I'll have to kill you the fast way!"
Suddenly, Raider 54 stood in front of the army,"No!"
"54?" 42 asked.
"My real name is Reoccurring Gag!" He splashed himself with water, turning his mane and coat to their natural blue color,"And I'm joining their side!" He put on a headband as his body gained rippling muscles. He pulled out two sub-machine guns and fired on the army, despite being an earth pony,"You go on ahead, I'll handle these guys!" He said, his voice deepening
"Thanks Gag!" Pinkie smiled, offering a hoof bump to her new friend, "You are one of the good ones!"
Gag nodded,"You're one of the best! Now go!" he saluted them.
The hunters went through the door to reveal 42 sitting in a chair still covered in confetti,"Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the fly!"
Pinkie growled, "So we meet at last, or the last time. It’s time we end this you miserable monster!" she said running to a mirror and attacking it.
The mirror monster screamed like a little schoolgirl and ran away. Turning around, she then glared at 42, "And as for you.. .it’s time to defeat you."
42 shook her head,"No, it's time to defeat you!" She suddenly appeared in front of Pinkie and slammed a pie in her face.
Pinkie growled lowly and brought out a cake and slammed it into her face, "Take this!!"
42 sputtered and hit her with a cupcake,"No, take this!"
Nomming the cupcake, Pinkie brought out a small party cannon!
42 brought out a medium sized party cannon!
Pinkie brought out a giant sized part cannon
42 brought out an even bigger party cannon.
Pinkie ran out of the room and came back with a party tank
"Oh, you got to be-"42 shook her head and brought out a party helicopter.
"Nope, dead serious," Pinkie said, bringing out a party 47 Blackbird. While Cyclops piloted.
42 growled and brought a party mecha
Pinkie ran and brought out a party Wing Zero that combined onto the back of a Party Voltron
42 then threw up her hooves,"Okay, you win, I give up! There's no way I can top that!"
"Aw,"Pinkie said, putting away her rookie party Digimon and jumping down, "So, now what, will you give up your wicked ways and help the wasteland?"
42 scoffed,"Never-ugh!" She gasped as an ice spear came through her stomach.
"I grow tired of this charade." Pride snarled,"I swear, you both are imbeciles unworthy of this world!"
"Pride! Y-you monster!" Pinkie said, turning to look at Pride, her tears rolling down her cheeks, "How can you keep doing this to other ponies? What did they do to you?
"42 was an imbecile I brought back to life so I could unleash those statues." Pride explained, sending ice spears at Pinkie,"I killed the other sins so I could have their power, so I could be... complete."
Pinkie let out a gasp as she ducked and jumped over the ice spears, one of them just barely cutting her side, "Complete? You're missing a piece? Which one, a wing, a leg?"
"No, you see," Pride put up a shield to protect against the shots from the hunters,"The statues were made from the shards of a being known as Hatred! By absorbing the other sins, I would complete Hatred, and become the embodiment of your complete opposite!" She cackled madly as her coat grew black, and her eyes became slitted.
"But that would mean that you would become... uh oh," Pinkie said looking up in the sky, "A Nightmare. Eeep."
Lightning struck the ground as Pride grew bigger and her wings grew batlike,"Now I will kill you, and this world!" Noxus stood in front of Pinkie,"Noxus, you who take pride in your morals, killing you and Pinkie would rob this place of its moral center!" She fired a lightning bolt at them as Noxus tried to fire on her.
Pinkie bounced on top of Noxus to get him out of the way, "And what makes you think killing me will do anything? All it will do is make you more cranky! Besides," she ran at Pride and booped her ont the nose, "You'll have to catch me, you're it!"
Pride growled as she charged her horn and fired several bolts at Pinkie as she ran after her,"Get back here, you simpleton!"
Her coat began to stand on end and shiver as she felt the shots stream across her. It was as if her Pinkie sense was reacting to each shot, and made her roll and jump away from the shots, even if some managed to catch bits of her mane and coat. Looking over her shoulder, she stuck out her tounge and pulled down her lower eyelid. Fast she began to run up the stairs of the building.
Pride growled, flying after her,"You can't run forever!"
Noxus looked on in shock, and then began to chuckle,"This is too ridiculous."
"Why sure I can!” Pinkie said, winking at her with a smile. "I have boundless energy and a cheerful smile. I can keep going forever!" letting out a cheer, she ran along the wall then a wave of fire came up from behind her, and then bounced off the walls when a series of electric bolts began to hit her. "And you know, Noxus isn't just the world's moral center.. he's theirs. Because they are all friends, and they all need a guy like that! Always. That is why you-" she slid back for a few seconds to jam two pies in her eyes, "Are a jerky mcjerk nutt because you killed you friends!" rolling back into position, she kept running.
"They weren't my friends! They were hopeless creatures!" Pride tore walls apart, and sent them at Pinkie.
Trace began to chuckle himself.
One of the walls seemed to hit Pinkie, but another look showed that she was on top of one. When two more came at her, she began to jump from one to one, using each as a platform to ride. As she rode, she began to giggle."That's where you were wrong, they weren't hopeless. Anymore than my friends are hopeless," she said, one of the pieces of rubble cutting her cheek."
“Friends, what a disgusting term!" Pride used her horn to send fireballs at Pinkie.
Sylux couldn't help but laugh a little herself.
As Pinkie rode on one of the walls, she watched as the fireball came at her. Smirking, she twisted a baseball cap on her head and began to hit the fireballs with her baseball bat, "No it’s not, it’s a great term. Like cotton candy, rainbows, or hugs! what you got against it?" she said, landing on the top of one step. As Pride flew at her, she ran right into a giant rubber band, "When you fly back, mind giving me back my bowling pins when you answer my question."
As she was slingshotted back down a few floors, Pride could see ten pins waiting for her. Which she strukc and knocked them all down. After a few minutes, a giant rail came down and pushed the pins away.
The sight caused Pinkie to roll on the ground giggling and laughing.
Pride flew up and used the pins to strike at Pinkie,”I don’t need any of that!”
Trace began to snicker
One of the pins manages to hit Pinkie hard in the stomach, and another hit her head. Slowly getting up , she rubbed her forehead and shook it, "That's just silly. Of course you need them!" she said, smiling as she ran back up the stairs, shaking her rump at the alicorn.
Pride snarled, sending several red lightning bolts at Pinkie,"Silence! You are useless, laughter is pointless!"
Kanden began to laugh in spite of himself.
"Ooooh, Pretty lightning!" Pinkie said, running faster, "Can you make different colors?"
Pride began to roar,"You are an imbecile, why are you bearer of a powerful object!?" She screamed as she created spikes underneath Pinkie.
Spire too, began to laugh.
Pinkie let out a yelp as she jumped from one of the spikes, one of them cutting into her hind legs and drawing blood. Wincing in pin, she ran to the top of the building and and found herself out of running space, "OOOPs! ran out of building." she said, panting, and the began to giggle when rain started to fall from the sky. In spite of the downpour, her mane never lost its bounce, "Hehehe. It's raining, its’ raining, and I will be your umbrella."
Her ears perked when she heard Pride maker her way to the top, "You're wrong you know, Laughter... isn't worthless. Not at all," her lead was lowered as she smiled, "You know why I am the Bearer of Laughter? Let me tell you a story."
The other bounty hunters continued to laugh as they came up behind Pride, aiming their guns on her.
Pride growled,"I don't have time for your tales!" She raised her hoof at her.
“One day, a long time ago, my Granny Pie died. It... was the first time I had ever known about a pony dieing. After we had left the funeral, we were all sad, <omma especially. When I looked up at the sky, I saw it had started to rain. As it continued to rain, I did something that nopony else did. I smiled," the grin on her face grew, "I smiled and then I began to laugh. I started to laugh so much, that my family joined in too. Mom, Dad, Marble, Limey, and, even Maude, we all just started laughing. And when we started to laughing... the rain stopped. We don't know why, but I think I do," Pinkie slowly raised her head, "Granny Pie was sad that we were all crying over her, and when I laughed, I showed that we were happy and she could sleep happily."
When Pinkie lifted her head, a big smile was plastered on her face, "And that is why laughter is important! It's meant to make you see that life really isn't that bad, that no matter what, you can find a little bit of hope and excitement that make you look forward to the next day. Or finding the right thing to say to make somepony feel better, even if you slip up." she then brought out her large hammer, with a giant red M on it 'The World's Largest Hammer, meant to be used only during badass hero moments."
The bounty hunters jumped to Pinkie's side, and aimed.
Pride stepped back, shaking her head,"Stop that laughing!" Her horn glowed,"Die, die, die!"
"Can't help it," Pinkie said with a smile. "That's just who I am. I like letting ponies see how silly they're being about their fears, or try to lighten a serious mood with a quick gag. That's just who I am. Look at them, I helped them see a little of how silly their fears and doubts are and how much there is to each of their lives. This is why," she spun her hammer in a circle.
The hunters charged and fired their weapons into the hammer, powering it up.
Pride growled as she fired at Pinkie.
"You can never take away my smile," Pinkie said, striking the beam with her hammer and destroying it, then she threw the hammer at Pride. As the hammer struck Pride, she could hear every laugh that Pinkie had ever brought. As the laughter echoed, Pinkie added, "And this is why friend are not useless... they help you find the will to laugh again.
Pride screamed as the hammer hit her, sending her flying causing her to vaporize.
Pinkie smiled as the hammer came back, "And that is how you do it!" she then stuck her tongue out at what was let of pride.
The hunters laughed as they hugged Pinkie.
"Well, mission accomplished!" Noxus said with a smile.
"Indeed!" A large pink alicorn suddenly appeared.
Pinkie Pie smiled wide when she saw the pink alicorn, "CADENCE!!!" she said, charging and running to glomp the alicorn. As she did, she noticed Recurring Gag flying up in a jet pack and saluting her, before flying to parts unknown.
Cadence chuckled,"Hello, Pinkie, I've been expecting you!" She said with a smile.
"Wait, you have?" Pinkie asked, looking up at Cadence. "OOOOh did you dect me with ancient alicorn tk powers?"
Cadence chuckled and shook her head,"No, I was told by a mysterious pony that you would come." She pulled out a medal and a letter,"She gave me these."
Hi, Pinkie!
Yeah, just want to say good luck on defeating that big ol meanie Valtor! Here's a medal that allows you to read minds, but only in emergencies, or plot important events.
Laughter
.Pinkie wrote in the letter,
Dear Laughter,
Thanks! Good luck in your future adventures, hope to see you soon.
Love, Pinkie.
Silly Pinkie! You're already seeing me, in you!
Laughter.
OH of course I am! Silly me.
Pinkie
That's okay, we're both silly!
Laughter
Cadence raised an eyebrow,"I'm not even going to ask..."
"Inner humor, Cadey." Pinkie say, smiling. Then goring to her friends, she gave them all a giant hug, "I am going to miss you guy. I hope that you will show up for the big party at the finale."
"Thanks, you've truly become our friend." Noxus said with a smile,"Go, your other friends need you."
"I know," Pinkie said, skipping to joining Cadence, before pausing and looking over her shoulder, "Oh, and Tell Samus that Will is ok and is with us! She misses her friends and will be back with them soon."
"Sure, Cupcake!" Trace said as Cadence used her magic to whisk Pinkie away. As Pinkie disappeared, eight ponies walked up behind the bounty hunters, "Was that my aunt Pinkie?" asked Nyx, raising an eyebrow.
"Guys, why were you traveling with a ministry mare?" asked Little Pip.
Regina raised an eyebrow, "And why are you all smiling?"
Noxus looked at them,"It's a long story..."
Samus cocked her head,"It must be."
Claire, a blue pegasus with a green mane and tail coughed,"You look like you've been through a lot."
Avarok, an elk, raised her eyebrows,"And I do not believe I have ever seen you all so happy."
Puppysmiles giggled, "Well, tell us!"
"Yeah, we're all ears," Sunny said.