//------------------------------//
// 86 
// Story: You in Equestria: Let's Save a Kingdom 
// by RatherHomely 
//------------------------------//

	“Okay, don’t panic Twilight… this can still work…” Twilight begins to pace at the entrance, and you can hear the gears turning in her head. You start to worry as she begins to grind her teeth, a sound akin to a hacksaw scraping against a sheet of metal. “I just know I’m going to regret asking what happened, so let’s skip to the point; there needs to be somepony wearing each of these Elements. But I’m stuck inside this force field and none of my friends can help…”
“Perhaps…” You receive a flash of insight. “I could find replacements for each of your friends!”
Twilight shakes her head. “No way is that going to work. I remember Spike tried to replace Rainbow Dash and-”
“Oh, good one! He can be Rainbow Dash! I’ll get right on it!”

“Okay team,” you say to the five others assembled before you. “I’ve picked the best of the best. The friendliest of the friendliest. The awesomest of the awesomest. Each of you has been hand selected by yours truly to replace the Elements of Harmony. Well, not the Elements themselves, but the ponies who where them, or is it…” You mull over the show’s ambiguity before getting back on topic. “Enough of this silliness! We shall go around and introduce ourselves! I’m Twilight Sparkle because I’m the smartest. Rainbow Dash?”
Spike gives a nervous little wave. “Um, hi.”
You slap him on the back. “Come on, man-up! Rainbow Dash doesn’t take crap from anyone! Applejack?”
Applebloom leaps into the air and shouts, “Cutie Mark Crusader Applejack, ready!”
“Now that’s the kind of enthusiasm I want! Fluttershy?” The Flutterpillow you recruited doesn’t respond. “Shy and quiet, just like Fluttershy! Way to get into character! Rarity?”
“Yessum,” Hayseed gives you a nod.
“Get a bath. Now, last, but not least, Pinkie Pie!”
“Why am I here again?” mumbles Yankee Doodle.
“C’mon, Yankee, you need to bounce when you talk! You’re the Element of laughter, after all.”
“No.”
“Please?” You make puppy dog eyes at the donkey. He lets out a sigh, and then jumps a couple of centimeters into the air. “Perfect! With this team, it looks like a certain god…” You slip on a pair of shades. “Is about to get stoned.”
Applebloom lets out an excited, “YEEEEAAAHHHHH!” 

As you enter a clearing, your team following right behind you, you see Discord resting on top of a throne constructed entirely from bones. It’d freak you out if it wasn’t for the fact that the bones are rubber chew toys. 
“Ah, so Equestria’s latest hero is attempting to topple me from my throne.” Discord yawns, obviously threatened by your presence. “Would you mind taking a number? I’m busy relaxing right now. Relaxing is tremendously hard work.”
“Discord!” you cry, “We’re here to stop you!”
“Yes, I already knew that,” Discord impatiently replies. “And I’m horrified. Look at me; I’m shaking in my boots.” He yawns again. “Can we get this over with? I have a spa appointment. I don’t maintain this luxurious coat just by snapping my fingers you know. Oh wait…” He snaps his fingers, and is suddenly dressed in a tux and top hat, a monocle nestled next to his left eye. “I do!” He lets out an obnoxious laugh.
You get the impression that he isn’t taking you too seriously.
“Okay, amigos,” you say to your team. “All we’ve got to do is concentrate, hit him with a magical beam or some crap like that, then you can go home and eat chalupas or whatever it is you do. Are you all ready?”
“I need to use the little filly’s room!” chimes in Applebloom.
“I thought I told you to go before we left to take on a demonic god of chaos!”
“I didn’t need to go then…”
“Well, you can go after! But for now, focus!”
The six of you concentrate, and you feel as though a little bit of magic is starting to flow through you. You have a sneaking suspicion that the Flutterpillow isn’t pulling its weight, but you have no time to think on it now. Slowly, slowly, all of you begin to rise into the- Oh, wait, never mind. After a minute of thinking about how you aren’t sure what you should be concentrating on, you open your eyes. Nothing’s happened.
Discord starts to clap. “A marvelous performance!” he calls out. “I especially enjoyed the part where you stood around looking like idiots! So, the question is…” He disappears with a puff, before suddenly reappearing in front of you, eyes inches away from yours. “What do you plan to do now?”
But you aren’t afraid. “We’ll beat you Discord! Your reign of tyranny will be toppled!”
“Oh really?” He smiles a devilish smile. “You and what army?”
You look behind you to find no one. Not even the pillow. “Why those sons of bitches…” 

The fight afterwards was pretty short. It mostly consisted of you flailing your arms and Discord looking unimpressed. It wasn’t long before the god decided he was bored of you, and decided that his garden could use some more decoration.
It is for that reason that you now find yourself made of stone, enjoying the wonderful view of all the demonic plants Discord has growing. You’d let out a sigh, but that’s hard to do when you’re made of stone. Actually, everything’s hard to do when you’re made of stone. Seriously, try it sometime.
Hey. Hey, can you here me?
You’re confused. It seems you heard a voice echoing in your mind.
That’s right. My names Brace Impact, I’ve been standing in this garden as a statue for a good eight-hundred years or so. Just wanted to give you a friendly welcome.Let me tell you, the garden can be a lot of fun. After about five hundred years you start developing psychic powers because of how bored you get. And there are plenty of ponies to talk to psychically here. Better get along with them, because you’re going to be here for a loooooong time. Hey, do you like Parcheesi? I can play a mean game of mental Parcheesi.
You have the feeling that you have a very lengthy eternity ahead of you.

THE END

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