You in Equestria: Let's Save a Kingdom

by RatherHomely


55

You’d always wanted to try comedy. After watching all those YouTube videos and abridged series, comedy seemed to be a lot of fun. Besides, all it takes is a few jokes. It’s obviously the easiest thing in the world!
“Pinkie Pie,” you say with a roguish grin, "I’m going to put a smile on that face of yours!"
She gives you a look that could kill a moose.
“Right…” you say nervously, tugging at your shirt’s collar. “Tough crowd, tough crowd…” You open your mouth, waiting for some brilliant joke to hop out and start making Pinkie laugh hysterically.
Nothing happens.
Damn! Comedy is a lot harder than it looks!
You think frantically about a comedian you can emulate. Who’d be the best for this situation? Your mind hits upon the first comedian you can think of...
Jeff Dunham! Racism and gay jokes are always funny, no matter what dimension you're from!
Immediately you spring into motion! You pull a sock out of your pocket and stuff one of your hands into it. You also grab a sharpie from a nearby table and draw a face.
“Hey, Socky! You ready to put on a show?” No response. “Uh, Socky?” He says nothing. “Socky! SOCKY!” What's wrong?! Socky isn’t responding! Does he need water? The kiss of life? What?!
“Um…” Pinkie's looking less hateful and more worried now. “You do know you’re the one that gives the voice to the dummy, right?”
“Not now!” you scream. “Socky’s dying! We need medical attention! Quick, do you know CPR?!”
“CPR?” Pinkie smirks. “For a ventriloquist dummy?” She chuckles a bit. “I'm not sure who's the dummy, actually!” She giggles a bit at her own joke. The bitch! She’s laughing at Socky’s expense!
“Don’t laugh!” you whine. You hold your head against Socky’s chest. “There’s… There’s no heartbeat… He’s… DEAD!” You begin sobbing uncontrollably. You’d known Socky for what felt like forever. He was so young, so full of life…
While you’re lamenting, Pinkie Pie is laughing hysterically. “This is great! I actually don't hate this! As a matter of fact, this is great!" Her coat slowly turns into a bright pink. “Where do you get this stuff?! It’s so funny! Do you do parties?”
Yes, you did end up reverting Pinkie to her original state... But, alas, it was at a grave cost. You set out from Sugar Cube Corner with a heavy heart, knowing that life won’t be quite the same without-
Oh! A penny!

> Let’s get cracking on that list, eh?