Friendship is Scaleless

by Limescale


Chapter 41

Back in the Firelink Shrine, Pinkie was lifting a boiling kettle off the bonfire, cheerfully singing to herself as she poured out cups of tea to go with the mid-afternoon snacks she’d made for everyone.

“Oh, I trot through the desert like the horse with no name/It feels good to be out of the rain/In the desert, you can remember your name/Cause there ain’t no pony for to give you no pain…duh dah daaaaah dah dah dee dah dah… hmmm, why do the most dour songs always seem to have the most jaunty tunes?” The pink mare pondered as she placed a cupcake patterned after each of her friends’ color schemes on a plate. “I mean, the stuff about dead riverbeds, getting burned by the sun and ponies giving no love to each other is kind of depressing, but the music is so catchy you can’t help getting it stuck in your head.”

Pinkie started whistling the song as she finished her presentation by placing a bowl of sugar cubes and a small pot of cream on the tray, then carefully balancing the tray on her head.

“Hmmm, maybe some of us hope that associating bad things with something upbeat will in turn make them seem less foreboding?” The mare turned to where she’d hung the jester hat Rarity had made for her. Idly she reached over and jingled a few of the bells dangling from it. “Well, it’s a philosophy I can certainly get behind, given the circumstances.”

From the passage leading up to the Undead Parish, Pinkie heard the sounds of arrows being loosed and bodies groaning as they found their mark. Applejack had gone up there to practice with the bow and arrows she'd taken from the Forest Hunters, and so far it sounded like she was getting quite proficient.

“Hopefully, these will do the same. Faust knows my friends need it under the circumstances.”

The mare made to depart from the shrine with her snacks, only to find herself halting as the bonfire bloomed and let out a new arrival. Pinkie promptly stumbled backwards, flailing her front hooves and eventually crashing onto her plump, cushiony rear as the cloaked mountain of skulls and bones rose from the flames.

Mercifully, her tea and cupcakes managed to slide off her head and hit the ground without too much upset.

“What the…? Oh… uh… hello?” Pinkie meeped as the towering visage of death gazed down at her. “I… Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know we’d be having additional guests!” Promptly, the mare looked down at an empty space roughly a few inches above the bone mountain’s feet. “So you’re Gravelord Nito, huh? Pleased to meet you, I’m Pinkie Pie!”

She thrust out a hoof as the gravelord creakily cocked several of his skulls to the side.

“Knowest of us thou dost?” He asked. Pinkie giggled gently.

“Oh, well, no, not exactly. I’m just reading the name above your health bar there!” She pointed to the spot just above Nito’s feet. “Speaking of which, it looks like someone knocked a bit off the end of it. Are you hurt, by any chance?”

Nito exhaled dust from his jaws.

“Not in a way that shall hinder our purpose here. We sense a summoning, calling us to return to our dominion.” Nito turned to the passage that lead away from the shrine to the graveyard, and beyond that, the catacombs. “Much has changed since we awoke. Death’s subjects lay waiting to defend us again, yet its servants hath all been dashed to realms we cannot reach.”

“Servants?” Pinkie cocked her head then her eyes lit up in realization. “Ooooh, you mean the Gravelord Servant! Yeah, I saw a message saying they’d been defeated and something about ‘disasters are gone’ as a result. Was wondering what that meant.”

Nito turned back to the mare, again creaking his skulls to the side.

“Thou is blessed with the vision beyond those of mortal souls?” He asked. Pinkie shrugged and giggled.

“I just see what I need to see. You know, status messages, inventory selections, health bars, stamina bars, even that little cross displaying what items I currently have equipped!” Pinkie pointed to another empty space. “That one right there, in the corner!”

Nito turned to where she was pointing. His bones creaked again as he propped his top most skull on his fist.

“Proclaim Seath did to have similar visions. Mad was he declared by many in response, yet now a second soul claims to be similarly blessed.”

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah, he told me the same. Shame I didn’t get to ask him further about it before we came here, I’ve never met someone else who views the world like I do!” She smiled. Another dusty breath was exhaled from Nito’s many mouths as he now viewed this strange bouncy mare as something less than a quirk and more a potentially useful asset.

“Reveal unto us then, what dost thou see when thou beholds this?” The gravelord extended his hand, revealing a spherical object decorated to look like a stone eyeball, trapping the world around it in its unblinking stare. Pinkie looked at it, and her face suddenly contorted with a violent spasm.

“I… oooh… woah… heh heh, been awhile since I’ve had a doozy like that… though, usually it’s not a good sign when I do…” Pinkie briefly sounded troubled as she gazed at the eye. “Uh, let’s see… the lore entry says it’s an ‘Online play item’, that its meant to be used to lure phantoms from other worlds… ooh, and there’s a note here about how only the ‘covenanter’ can use the item while hollows cannot.” The mare giggled again. “Does that mean one has to be Scottish in order to use it?”

Nito set down his greatsword and knelt before Pinkie, staring at her with ever rising curiosity.

“Is this all thou sees?” He asked.

“Oh no, there’s plenty more. Uh… hold on…” Pinkie’s eyes began moving from right to left as if she were reading some invisible text. “…dreadful Eyes of Death spread disaster… neighboring worlds… phantoms lured to the host world may end up as victims… multiply… further proliferation of bane… wow, somepony sure loves their flowery descriptions. Kind of reminds me of the poetry I sometimes wrote when… well… I mean SHE wrote when… um… ooooh…”

Again the pink mare’s face twitched. She promptly pressed her front hooves to her cheeks and readjusted her features like a sculptor fixing some flaws in their clay carving.

“Sorry, that… uh happens from time to time.” Pinkie giggled with noticeable nervousness. “So what does all that stuff about disaster and bane mean?”

Nito set the stone eye down before the mare and rose.

“Only that thou may learn more if thou wishes. If the perversity that plagues Lordran hath tainted death’s dominion as it hath the dominion of gods and mortals, then we must find ourselves a new Gravelord Servant, one to take up our sword and join us in the dance of death. We sense thou to be a most fitting candidate.” The gravelord quietly replied, much to Pinkie’s horror.

“Wha? But… erm… well, that’s really kind of you Mr. Nito, but I’m not really into the whole death scene. I mean, not anymore! No, wait that’s not what I mean! Not like that! I… I… I… ergh… ngh!”

Another facial twitch, a very violent one, wracked Pinkie’s features, accompanied this time by her mane deflating by a considerable amount. Nito gently placed his enormous boney hand on her head.

“Troubled thou art indeed, a soul fractured by the will of two minds in eternal conflict.” The gravelord intoned as Pinkie began to shudder terribly, her face twisting and turning. “Calm equine, seek not to fight that which is part of thee.”

Pinkie whimpered as the influence of the Eye of Death pandered to the part of her she so desperately tried to keep locked away.

“But… ngh… no! No, you don’t understand! She isn’t who I am! She wants me to do things… terrible things, to ponies! Just like I did when… at Twilight’s castle when I… I… grghghghgh!”

The pink mare’s mane deflated entirely as tears began running down her cheeks.

“No! NO! Stop! I can’t let her take control again! Please!” Pinkie begged. Nito removed his hand.

“Seek not dominance then, but equality. Let death balance thine warring minds.” The gravelord replied. “Act as our servant, and vent thine dark intent upon others who deserve no kindness, so that those thou holds dear may not suffer. Draw the unworthy here, so other domains may be spared their evil, while ours is strengthened by their demise.”

Pinkie shuddered as she wiped her eyes.

“Wha… What are you saying? I… I can’t do that… I mean… I don’t think I can…”

Nito retrieved his greatsword. “Thou seeks to provide aid where thou can, thine soul states as much. We offer thee the means to do so, that shalt in turn also quiet thine mind. Death maketh all equal, no matter their station in life.”

Pinkie looked down at the eye, and another violent shudder ripped through her body.

“Know this though, like all covenants, thou serves of thine own volition. We only offer, not order thee to do our bidding.” The gravelord said. Pinkie took several deep breaths and pressed a hoof to her heart.

“Yeah… right… okay. Just… give us a chance to think it over… I mean me! Not us! Ngh!” Pinkie shivered and stammered. Nito nodded.

“We shall leave thee, then, to ponder thine decision. T’would seem our presence is as unwelcome as ever.” The mountain of skulls and bones turned as a shining force miracle was cast in his direction. With a dusty sigh of disappointment, Nito let it hit him full on and simply shook off the effects. “A noble effort novice, but foolish in execution.”

Trixie galloped back into the shrine, her horn blazing with light.

“Well, while she may be new to this form of magic, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself a very fast learner!” The unicorn glowered. “And regardless of her aptitude, she will not stand idly by while you and your kind threaten her and her friends!”

Nito looked at Trixie with what almost seemed like a rictus grin of amusement spread across his skulls.

“Our kind? How tragically naïve thou art to believe us on par with the poor souls that haunt this land.” He lamented. Trixie’s glare intensified as she charged up her horn. “Waste not thine efforts upon us, equine. Death wishes no ill upon thee, nor can thou hope to defy our inevitable embrace.”

Now a healthy amount of bewilderment mixed itself into Trixie’s anger.

“You stand here having just done… something unpleasant to Pinkie Pie, and expect Trixie not to retaliate?” She demanded. Nito nodded despite the clearly rhetorical question.

“We have done naught but ensured assistance as we depart to our own affairs. If thou wishes to see the truth of our words, then we bid thee follow. Our destination by rights is the same as thine… or it should be.” Nito turned as if alerted to something. “Thou may find comfort in the company of other practitioners of thine discipline.”

Trixie warily arched an eyebrow.

“What the hay does that mean?” She asked. Nito turned from her, folding his arms as he stared at something only he apparently could see in the distance.

“From our domain, we sense the cry of one who is both of cloth and faith. Her aid hath abandoned her, or fallen to the curse of the hollowed. Like thee, she hath only her miracles to save her now… as worthless as they may be.” Little gusts of dust flew from Nito’s lips as if he were laughing. “Come hath she to seek the Rite? Another fool who believed themselves worthy of kindling the fire? How the traitorous Pinwheel must have cherished cutting her down in her tracks!”

Trixie turned to follow Nito’s gaze.

“There’s someone down there… like as Petrus said?”

The gravelord nodded.

“That there is, though her concern is not ours. We shall leave her to fate, and embrace her to our bosom when her life is at an end.”

Nito turned and pointed to Pinkie Pie.

“Dwell upon our offer, oh fractured one. We swear that in servitude to us, thou shalt find the peace thine soul aches for.”

Pinkie looked down at the stone eye again as Nito began to walk away from the shrine.

“Wait! Trixie isn’t done talking to you, bonehead! Where is this one you say you can hear? Is she still alive? Is she alright? Hey, come back here!”

Trixie launched the charge from her horn, and like before, it just dispersed uselessly across Nito’s back. The gravelord’s stride didn’t even falter as he was attacked for a third time.

“Get back here! Trixie still has more questions!” The unicorn demanded before leaping back as the bonfire bloomed again, letting loose the Chosen Undead, Griggs, Logan, Rarity and Rainbow.

“Urgh, ahhhh, there we go! Nice, soft grassy land for me to sleep for several weeks upon.” Rarity exclaimed as she tumbled onto the ground. “Not quite the same as my bed but it’ll do until I…”

“Oh hey Rarity! Rainbow! You’re back!” Pinkie squeed as her mane inflated fully again. “Here!”

PLOP!

Rarity looked up and blinked at the sight of her beloved four poster bed now standing on the ground before her, with an uncharacteristically used look to it and a small foal shaped lump squirming underneath the duvet.

“Oh… uh… thank you, Pinkie?” She said. The pink mare looked at the bed with similar awkwardness.

“Uh, well if you need a rest, it’s no biggie… though I didn’t know it was currently in use…” Pinkie said as the lump rose and pulled the duvet off itself.

“Oooogh… what? Is it morning already?” Sweetie Belle asked as she groggily rubbed her eyes. “Awww, and I was having such a nice dream… me and Button, a moonlight garden, creepers falling under our blades as we cut out giant diamonds for each other…”

Sweetie stopped fantasizing as her sister’s somewhat ticked visage came into view.

“Oh… uh… morning, Rarity? I… I… didn’t know you were back!” The filly promptly scrambled up on all fours, then looked around in perplexity at the shrine. “Wait… this isn’t your bedroom!”

“Too true… which begs the question of why you’d expect it to be… and why you’re sleeping in my bed!” Rarity demanded. Sweetie Belle looked down at the disheveled sheets and gave a nervous smile as she hastily jumped off the mattress.

“Well… uh… you see… I couldn’t get to sleep in my own bed… yeah… think one of the springs kept poking me in my back! And… and… I thought… ’well, Rarity’s bed must be getting so cold and dusty what with her having been gone for so long! She’d appreciate if I warmed it up… and it’s probably really comfy… yeah… and nice… and I was going to clean the sheets and the pillows once I got up and… erm…”

“Okay, glad we got that sorted! Let’s do this again, after Rarity’s had a nap to improve her mood.” Pinkie promptly picked Sweetie Belle up and dropped her back into her mane.

“Wait! Sis, do you mind if we use the boutique for a slumber party this weekend? Button just introduced me to LARP-ing and I want to…”

Sweetie Belle’s voice dropped out as she vanished into the strands of Pinkie’s mane. Rarity facehooved.

“As if I didn’t have enough to worry about already. I do hope she’s at least kept the rest of the boutique in tip top shape.” The unicorn climbed onto her bed and tested the state of the mattress with a sigh. “Well, at least she hasn’t been jumping on it like she used to.”

From the passage leading up to the Undead Parish, Applejack and Fluttershy came running down.

“Hey, what’s happenin’ down here? We heard Pinkie soundin’ like she was in pain, then a lotta Trixie shoutin’ an…” Applejack paused as she came upon the scene of her friends now returned from battle. “And… hey, yer all back! Well… most o’ ya…”

Fluttershy gasped as Rainbow pulled off her helmet and collapsed onto the ground.

“Yeah, our visit to Anor Londo was… well… productive, I guess. Least we uncovered some more twists to what’s going on here.” The cyan pegasus sighed in agony. “Flutters, don’t suppose you’ve got anything that’s good for burns, cuts, sore muscles…and I think I may have cracked a rib or two… ugh.”

“Oh no! Oh don’t move Dash, I’ll get you fixed up!” The yellow pegasus set down her saddlebags and began digging out supplies.

“So… where’s Twilight and Seath?” Applejack said.

“They stayed behind to finish up one final matter. I’m going back to help them as soon as I ensure their wounded comrades are safe.” The Chosen Undead replied. “Where’s Sif?”

A bark drew everyone’s attention to the shrine exit. Sif appeared gnawing at an enormous femur bone, while behind her, Siegmeyer fought off a limping, one legged giant skeleton.

“Yes, yes, I agree it was a bit rude of her, but look at it this way: from what we saw, your parts are interchangeable with those of your friends, so I really don’t see why they can’t lend you a replacement, and it’s no doubt been ages since the poor dear had a nice filling snack!”

The giant skeleton clapped its jaws and tried to strike while wobbling crazily on its one leg. Siegmeyer finally resorted to tripping the monster up and letting it shatter into pieces upon the ground.

“What a shame. If only they could’ve shown a little generosity, then we could’ve all been friends.” Siegmeyer lamented as he turned and noticed the crowd gathered around the bonfire. “Ah, but what’s this? The brave adventurers return fresh and ready from their exploits?”

Rainbow winced as Fluttershy pulled her robes down and dressed the cuts on her wings.

“Returned, yes, but I’d hardly call our state fresh.” The pegasus replied. “Also, that’s a very big wolf you seemed to have found while we were away.”

Sif ambled over, her eyes widening at the sight of the Chosen Undead. The warrior in turn let out a great sigh of relief as she hugged her old friend.

“We’re almost done, Sif. Soon as Seath finishes with his daughter’s captor, he’ll relieve you of Artorias’ covenant. After that… well…”

Sif smiled around the bone in her mouth, resting a massive paw on the undead’s shoulder.

“Yeah of course, you’ll still follow me back into the darkest depths, no matter what I say.” The warrior chuckled as Sif barked her agreement. Behind them Applejack raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Seath’s daughter’s captor… what? What the heck are you talkin’ about, Miss Aurelia?” The earth pony asked while slinging her black bow across her back. The Chosen Undead set down her pack and began hunting in it.

“A few instances from my quest, before I travelled to your world I mean, have now come into play in ways I would’ve never expected. Twilight and Seath believe the Dark Sun Gwyndolin, a god of Lordran, may be tied up in all of it, and are heading to get some answers from him… that is… assuming he’s willing to talk and not kill them on sight.” The warrior explained as she dug out a new armor set, this one colored black and made of what appeared to be heavy iron plate mail. Applejack gaped in dismay.

“So wait… yer sayin’ Twi and her teacher are now headin’ alone to face a god of this place? One that, by yer own description, don’t sound too keen to receive visitors?” The farmer demanded.

“Well, they’ve also got Seath’s daughter, Priscilla, backing them up… and yes, Seath apparently found the time to have a family in between all that apparently happened around here.” Rarity followed as she changed out of her antiquated clothes. “Not to mention, she’s quite a beauty… not at all what one would expect from a dragon mating with another species… which in turn gives me further cause to ponder about Spike… hmmm.”

The unicorn searched the bed for her eye mask and slid it down over her face.

“Well, I can ponder after I’ve had a rest. Night all!”

Applejack looked to her unicorn friend as she slipped beneath the covers. She promptly pulled her Stetson down and snorted.

“Well if that’s the case, then Ah ain’t gonna stand around here and wait. Mind takin’ me back with you, Miss Aurelia?” She asked as the

Chosen Undead likewise changed into the new armor set.

“If you so desire, though I should warn you, Gwyndolin’s already fortified his position with many of his followers, and that’s assuming he doesn’t have any more surprises waiting for us beyond that.” The warrior replied. Applejack gave her bow and the quiver of arrows underneath it a firm pat.

“All the more cause fer me to be there to lend support. Ah’ve had some time to practice with this fine piece o’ weaponry. Should be able to hold my own.” She stated confidently.

“I’ll… I’ll come too. If what you encountered was enough to put Rainbow in this state…” Fluttershy gestured to the pegasus who was now partially mummified by the bandages and ointment soaked cloth wrapped around her. “Then you’re going to need a pony who can dress wounds efficiently on the fly!”

Rainbow looked up in concern.

“Hey, Flutters, careful there. Aurelia’s not exaggerating in how dangerous the remaining souls in Anor Londo have proven.” She cautioned. Fluttershy indeed looked very nervous, yet a glance at Sif as she attacked her bone gave the yellow pegasus cause to still stand and approach the bonfire.

“I’ll manage. I’m sure a few certain folk will make every effort to keep me safe.” She said. On cue, Discord flashed into existence.

“Quite. Truth be told, I was getting bored of killing the same lingering beings around here over and over again. Think I’m ready to move on to bigger and more entertaining prey.”

The chaos god disappeared in another flash.

“What about you two?” The Chosen Undead asked to Trixie and Pinkie Pie. The latter gave her pause as she noticed Pinkie picking up the stone eye in her hooves. “Also, did anyone perhaps see a giant mountain of bones come through here before we arrived?”

“Indeed, he said a few rather cryptic things to Trixie before departing that way.” Trixie pointed to the catacombs passage. “If it’s all the same to you, Trixie will now be taking her leave to finish her conversation with him. There may be another soul in need of rescue down where he’s gone.”

The Chosen Undead looked in the direction of the catacombs.

“You’re sure that’s what you want? I’ve been down to Nito’s domain before. It’s not for the faint of heart.” She said. Trixie’s features faltered, yet still she steeled her hooves.

“From what Trixie has seen, there’s no place at all in your world that’s suitable for one who’s faint of heart. She needs purpose now, like all undead, and this is a most heroic purpose. Whatever happens, Trixie must try!” The unicorn declared. With a somber nod, the Chosen Undead reached for her pack.

“Then take this with you.”

She handed over a simple but handsomely designed straight sword.

“The skeletons that reside under Nito’s rule, I found, are even more durable than the other hollow that plague Lordran. The only way to insure they couldn’t keep reassembling and getting back up again was to strike them down with the power of the divine. This sword, a legend from Astora, was the weapon I largely relied on to see me through their ranks.”

Trixie took the sword in her magic, feeling its holy power warm her own magical essence, as if detecting she had likewise sworn herself to a similarly noble and virtuous path.

“Very well, The Great and Powerful Trixie thanks you for this and will use it well. Rest assured, she shall return…” Trixie glared at Sif. “There is still other business for her to tend to afterwards.”

With a deep inhale, Pinkie slid the stone eye into her saddlebags, feeling how much its weight seemed to pull on her body as she shrugged the bags on, along with her jester hat.

“I’ll go with you then. See if Mr. Nito was being truthful about helping me… um… make peace… with her…” The pink mare took a nervous breath as she patted her wares. The Chosen Undead regarded her with unspoken concern.

“Alright, are we thus agreed on what we’re going to do?” She asked.

“Yes, soon as your equine friends are healed, we’ll see about getting to the sanctity of the archives.” Logan replied while turning to Siegmeyer. “I trust Laurentius has not squandered his time in deciphering the workings of the Lordvessel?”

Siegmeyer shook his head.

“Of course not, old Big Hat! Good chap’s just about done, I think. Only asked if he could run a few quick tests before transporting us away from this place.”

Logan nodded sagely. “Good, then I shall see if he needs any help with the final touches. It’s high time I returned to my studies amidst Seath’s books.”

Griggs watched his elder walk from the shrine with a renewed lightness to his steps; something he certainly hadn’t shown a few minutes earlier.

“I’ll remain here and keep an eye on your friends. Please let Twilight know I wish her luck, and hope to share a toast with her once we are all reunited in a place of safety.” Griggs requested while sitting down before the bonfire.

“Here, here! If Seath happens to have a distillery in that old castle of his, I might even be able to whip up some of my best siegbrau! Ahhh, nothing like a mug of Catarina’s golden ale to warm the cockles of an adventurer’s heart!” Siegmeyer exuberantly stated with a pound of a fist against his cuirass. Applejack chuckled and tipped her hat to the knight.

“Sounds like a plan. Ah’ll be seein’ you at the drinkin’ table!” She said as the Chosen Undead activated the bonfire and whisked everyone back to Anor Londo.