The sun was setting and the streets were almost devoid of life. I saw a few ponies here and there, but they paid no attention to me and were headed in the same general direction. It was an easy guess they were all headed to the same concert Twilight and Spike had mentioned, which was somewhere I was sure I wasn’t welcome, but I couldn’t care less about going there anyway.
Finding the way back to Berry’s house without directions was troublesome, though not impossible once I found the tall building I’d passed without much thought earlier in the day. The building was nowhere near as tall or big as Twilight’s castle, but it was easily three stories tall, if not four counting the spire at the very top. Earlier in the day it had been quite busy, with ponies coming and going, however now it was quiet and dark, aside from a single lit window.
Town hall maybe? My thoughts had been more driven toward finding Twilight earlier in the day, but now I was more open to finding alternative sources of help. What help a town hall would be was beyond me, aside from possibly having a map of the town, or bulletin boards full of information. There was no need to pursue the possible town hall tonight, and I very much doubted they were still open, so I walked on by without giving it any more thought.
“Hey, Berry! Wait up!” A somewhat familiar male said, which was accompanied by the sound of hooves galloping.
I stopped and turn my attention to the voice. It was Due Process dressed in his police outfit, though if what Spike told me was true about their identical manes and coats, then the stallion galloping toward me could’ve been any umbra, but I did notice he had the same fern green eyes as Due Process.
He stopped next to me, while I gave him a displeased look. “What are you doing around here at this hour?” His question sounded harmless at the very least, but all I saw him as was a dead end.
“Sorry, your ex-girlfriend is currently trapped in a parallel universe, with my human body. Please leave a message after the beep, which may or may not ever reach her. Beep.” I walked away from him and continued the search for Berry’s home. Heh, I bet Twilight would be more than happy to send me to Berry’s home.
“Beep? What the hay are you going on about? You’re still going on with that nonsense from yesterday?” I heard him say, then heard his hoofsteps start up.
Great, he is following me. “Would you prefer I lied? Pretended I was Berry?”
“You can’t pretend to be yourself, Berry. Why have you been acting so erratic lately? You may have bad habits, but you at least keep to them, and you haven’t been at any of the bars in town the past two nights I’ve been on patrol.”
Why go to bars when you basically own a small liquor store’s worth of alcohol? There were several reasons I drank at a bar, such as forced moderation, or the fact I spent my alcohol budget faster for less alcohol, but I rarely went looking for the possible company or sex. I stopped and faced him. “The name is Jack. Are you one of those obsessive exes?”
“What?! No!”
I had clearly caught him off guard with my question, and it seemed a waste not to press on. “Sure? Which one of you was it that ended the relationship?”
“Stop talking about yourself in the third person! You know it was me!”
This is fun, now what… Damn it! What is wrong with me?! My head began to hurt again. There were all sorts of things coming to mind about what I could say to Due Process, and they were all hurtful. Most of it was to do with the presumption that he was the only umbra in town, and that some of the ponies might treat him differently. The fact he seemed to often do night patrols led me to believe he might even avoid other ponies and was constantly plagued by feelings of loneliness as a result. I held my tongue and also held a forehoof to my forehead.
“Are you okay? You look like you’re in pain.” His genuine concern was annoying me.
I wasn’t okay at all since I was stuck in a place where nobody believed what I told them I was, even though they lived in a world where what was possible seemed limitless. Why do I care if I hurt him? Berry screwed up any chance she had with him, and she is obviously more concerned with Corona. Still, I’m not going to get anywhere making enemies. “Just a headache. Don’t worry about it. Please, just stay out of my business, and stick to your own.” I turned and headed in the general direction of where I thought Berry’s house was.
“I still care about you as a friend, Berry!” Due Process said, and thankfully didn’t follow me this time.
“Great! Call me when you care about Jack Taylor!”
(0) (0)
The sun had set, and the moon had begun to shine its unusually bright light. It was weird to still be able to see clearly at night here, where it felt like the changing of day to night was more akin to a dimmer switch being adjusted, than anything that felt natural. Still, the extra light lit my way through the empty streets, and where it failed to reach was supplemented by the fire of iron lamp posts.
After reading several street names I considered worse than Berry’s street of Clip Clop Drive, I arrived back at Berry’s house. All the lights in the house were off, so I knew at the very least Surprise had come by, but something wasn’t right. My eyes felt like they were being strained when I looked at an empty place a story up above the door.
The spot itself looked for all intents and purposes empty, but it strangely felt too empty. It might’ve been I was tired and imagining things. The problem was that I was in a world of magic, and I couldn’t think something was just my imagination since anything I could imagine might very well be real. I could get by with dismissing most of this reality, but I wouldn’t last long if I didn’t address possible threats.
What could it be though? A trap? Someone or something invisible? One of The Seven’s agents?! A monster that is naturally invisible?! A number of thoughts continued to fill my head was staggering, and they were accompanied by a growing panic. Run?! No! Test!
While keeping my eyes on the empty space, I slowly turned and reached back toward my saddlebags with my head. The item that seemed best for this situation was the one I hadn’t touched since it was put away, the coin purse. I bit down on the drawstring of the pouch and lifted it out of the bag. A brief note was taken of how it was probably heavier than everything combined in the other bag, which should’ve left the load unbalanced, but then I remembered I was in a world of magic and quickly brought myself back to the present problem.
Nothing had happened with the spot during what I was sure to be the most suspicious action for anything sapient to know I knew it was there, so I knew this was either something sentient, some magical trap, or a sign Berry needed to go to an optometrist. I would know soon if it were the first, but would probably just return to the Castle of Friendship to stay safe for the other two, or at least as safe as I could be in a place that a questionable force of good could alter.
After setting the bag down on the ground, I blindly loosened the drawstring, then pulled a coin up to look at. It was a gold coin about half the size of my hoof, with an embossed rim on one side, yet lacked any images or words I expected to find on currency. The thing that mattered was it did have some heft to it, which caught me off guard slightly since I was sure I was holding a single coin that weighed more than a whole bag of apparently identical coins, but quickly remembered to just file it away as magic.
After carefully replacing the purse in my saddlebags, I eyeballed the spot that had been the focus of my attention the past couple minutes. It was probably foolish to think I would hit the spot with a single coin toss, and it would be suicidal to pick up the same coin closer to whatever this was, but I was strangely confident I wouldn’t miss. Please don’t be a giant invisible spider. Please don’t be a giant invisible spider.
The coin was held horizontally in between my left forehoof’s pad like a tiny frisbee. I pulled my foreleg back, made sure my aim was correct, then flung the coin. Damn it! Super strength! Somewhere between an arrow and bullet were the speed at which the coin flew, and after only a few moments the coin hit the empty spot, then simply vanished.
“What—” I said, before things really got weird.
The coin reappeared spinning upward, alongside a pegasus flipping hooves over head, with a white coat and canary yellow mane I had become familiar with. Surprise? I stood stupefied as Surprise fell back first to the ground in front of the house’s front door. No sounds of pain came from the pegasus that had appeared out of nowhere, and the only movement from her was the twitching of a leg.
Please don’t be dying! I ran up to the pegasus, and inspected my unintentional victim. Her pale violet eyes spun about unfocused and unsynchronized, a bruise had already begun to form where the coin had hit her on the forehead, while the wings and legs seemed to be unbroken. She was still alive, but a blow to the head like this had to be taken care of immediately, or her condition of being alive would only be temporary.
“Surprise?! Are you alright?!” What do I do?! Move her?! Did I make her break anything when she fell?! Which direction is the hospital?! I hadn’t missed much of the human world during my short visit in Equestria, but a phone and an emergency number would’ve been nice.
Her response was a tight closing of her eyes, then she opened them again, with them now looking in opposite direction. A smile appeared on her muzzle, then she began to laugh. “Heads!” Surprise said, abruptly.
Maybe Process is still—
The coin I had thrown earlier landed with a smack on the exact same spot on her forehead it had hit before. The impact made Surprise flinch and close her eyes, then she reopened her eyes, and they were back to normal. “Did I win?” she said, and I wondered if she knew what had happened, or even what was going on right then and there.
I decided just to ignore what she was asking. “Is anything broken?” I looked around for any help, but the streets were devoid of life.
She sat up, and I backed up, while not sure if I should stop her, or if I’d accidentally hurt her more if I did. The coin on her forehead slid down the top of her muzzle, and she caught it in a forehoof, without letting it flip. “Heh, got it right again,” she said, while looking at the gold coin in her forehoof.
It seemed we were both good at ignoring each other, and I would have to delve into her special case of madness. “Right about what again?” I knew I would regret whatever she said next.
“The coin toss.” She held the coin up out toward me.
I carefully took the coin from her, then swiftly threw it in a saddle bag. “Okay… Are you okay to walk? I think you need to go to the hospital.”
“Why?” She placed her forehooves in front of her, moved her back legs behind her, then stood and began to test her limbs.
“Because… I hit you in the head with a coin… and you fell a story…”
“Which one?” She finished testing her limbs out and seemed to be perfectly fine in that respect.
It was strange, but I understood what she was asking. “Not a story as in one that is told or read, but the measurement of a building by its floors and ceilings. How about you point us in the direction of the hospital, and let the doctors and nurses there decide how fine you are?” I may have been trying not to care about anyone here, but I wasn’t going to let someone die because of something I did, even if she was sneaking around on me somehow. Questioning how she was able to turn invisible seemed best not to do.
“Oh, that kind of story. I was wondering how I felled a story. Wouldn’t be very nice to cut a story short. We can’t go to the hospital, since we need to head to the concert, but first I have to show you what I did to your house. Why do you have a toothbrush in the same colors a mare like Corona would use? Are you two friends? When did that happen? Do you remember why you threw a bit at your house earlier? Oh! That reminds me! I was looking through your dresser’s bottom drawer earlier and was wondering—”
“I threw that bit earlier because I didn’t know you could turn invisible, and didn’t have a clue what you were! I have no answers to anything else you asked, or were going to ask, and never will!” I said, loudly. It wasn’t that I had a problem talking about sexual things, but just that I didn’t have any need to think about such things. There was also the fact that I saw any recreational use of Berry’s body as something strictly off limits and really hoped Berry would do the same with my body.
Surprise took on a confused look. “Huh?”
“Look, I’m not comfortable talking about the things that are in that bottom drawer, so go consult a zoologist if—”
“No.” She shook her head back and forth. “You saw me earlier?” Her interest was peaked about something, and it seemed she wasn’t going to drop it.
Can’t even dismiss reality here without someone making me face it. “Yes, though I didn’t know it was you. Do you not know it is rude to spy on people? Are you autistic?”
Her excitement spread to her wings, and she began to hover off the ground. “Nah, well, unless you count my party throwing as an art. You just saw something out of the ordinary, and your first thought was to throw something at it? What was it you thought you saw anyway?”
“Yes, because I thought it might be something dangerous, and I wasn’t going to run away from something that very well could follow invisibly. Also, what I saw was an empty spot, that strained my eyes, when I looked at it.” I let out a sigh, and was getting tired of dealing with Surprise. “Could we deal with your possible concussion? If you don’t want to go to the hospital, then how about a friend who could keep you awake?”
“Hmm…” She seemed deep in thought over something, but I doubted it was the answer to my latest question.
“Sur—”
My words were interrupted by Surprise’s sudden disappearance, and the intense strain my eyes felt when looking at where Surprise was.
I closed my eyes to alleviate the pain the sight in front of me caused. “Stop doing that! It hurts to look at you!” I said, and was reaching my limit of caring about this mare, even if I had hurt her.
“You… remembered me?” I heard Surprise say, and I opened my eyes to the normal sight of her, or at least as normal as a magical talking big eyed pegasus pony could be normal.
“Yes, I developed a wonderful thing called object permanence as an infant.” I stomped my left hoof on the ground. “Is there a point to any of this?”
She fluttered in the air in front of me with an open mouth, and looked me over. “Are you sure you weren’t saying what you just said to an imaginary friend?”
“The only friend of mine here is you, but I—”
She disappeared again, and I chose to just look away. “You know what, Surprise? I’m done—”
A force hit me from the front, and knocked me on my back. For a brief a moment I struggled to understand what I was in contact with, even though I knew it had to be Surprise, since at the same time I felt like I wasn’t in contact with anything at all. There was no sense or nonsense for me to latch onto during that brief moment, but it ended as quickly as it had come.
“How?!” I heard Surprise say, then I turned back to meet her muzzle to muzzle.
“Do you ever feel life is a constant series of events repeating themselves over and over until you are driven insane?” I said, as emotionlessly as possible, then just laid back for whatever questions she was going to bombard me, that I had no answers to.
“What’s wrong?” She lifted off me, which caught me by surprise, and the irony wasn’t lost on me.
I didn’t feel like moving anymore, and continued to just lay on my back, while I avoided looking at Surprise. This day just will not end… “Everything is wrong. I’m alone in a world, with a horrible identity. Nobody believes a word I say. I’m pretty sure I am or someone I’ve met is trying to be molded into your world’s equivalent of the anti-christ. Worst of all I have no clue what is going on most of the time, and I’m pretty sure I’m going crazy.” A sigh escaped my lips. “At least I have an appointment with Twilight tomorrow, which is probably able to go just about every which way wrong.”
Silence reigned for a couple minutes, and I wondered if Surprise had finally left me in peace, so I rolled over to my side, then pushed myself up to a sitting position. Surprise sat opposite me, with a blank stare, and relaxed breathing. It looked like she was actually thinking about everything I had said, for better, or for worse.
Surprise came out of here deep thinking, and looked at me. “What’s a ‘christ’?” she said, and had picked the one part I saw best not to talk about any further, since it got closer to breaking the Surprise Swear I had made with Spike.
“Don’t worry about it.” I stood up, and made to go around her. “I’m just tired and rambling.”
A wing shot out to block my way to the front door, then Surprise stood up. “Please, Berry. You know how much a cure to my condition means to me. Have you been working on it again? Did you do anything special today?”
“Jack.” I glared at her, which made her fold her wing back against herself, then I walked toward the door.
Thankfully the door was unlocked, so I opened the door, and walked in, but didn’t bother to close the door behind me. No point in locking a door, when the person wanting in can pick the lock. The scent of lemon assaulted my senses, and even in the near darkness I could tell the carpet had been cleaned.
“How much of the house did you clean?” I said, and walked into the living room just enough to turn on the light switch. The carpet in here had also been cleaned, along with the furniture’s upholstery, and every wooden surface polished.
“Everywhere, except the attic, though I did replace the pull-down attic ladder pull string. Do you like it?” Surprise said, and she closed the front door behind her.
I turned off the living room’s lights, and turned on the lights for the corridor and entrance. On a half-moon wall table sat the keyring I had given Surprise earlier in the day. “Well, thanks for that. Helps to not have a slum to return to in my so far futile attempts to convince someone I’m a creature from a parallel reality.” I walked over to the keyring, and stashed it away in my saddlebags, with my mouth. “How did everyone figure out this Discord I keep hearing about was a being from a parallel reality?”
“He is made up of a bunch of different animal parts, altered reality however he pleased, and said so. Jack, could we talk about you being able to see and remember me when I’m using my ability on purpose?” She was trying to be nice, but the answers she wanted were either to do with what I was, or due to something else I didn’t have a clue about.
“So did you get rid of the alcohol in the kitchen?” I walked toward the dark kitchen, and toggled the lights on.
The kitchen was spotless, from the now reflective tiled floor, to the fruit stocked countertops where I had left the dishes I had cleaned. It didn’t matter that Surprise didn’t believe I was what I said I was, since this gift was above and beyond what I had asked of her. My mood wouldn’t even be soured if the cabinets and fridge turned out to be filled with health food.
“Yeah, except for a couple wine bottles I put in the cellar. Jack, please.” Surprise said, and the fact the only indication Surprise was behind me was due to the sound of her voice unnerved me.
“Don’t have any answers, aside from the fact I’m an interdimensional being. Can Discord see you when you do whatever it is you are able to do?” It was a question that had probably already been answered, but removing the possibility that only creatures from here were affected was one thing to check off. I decided to see what she had done to fridge, since the last time I was here it smelled like something had died in it.
“No, and he used to be scared of me for some reason. He still hasn’t told us why, even though he is our friend now. What did you do today?”
“Not much.” I opened the fridge, and was met with the scent of more lemon. Whatever was rotten had been removed, and a large selection of fruit juices filled the top shelf, along with various other things on other shelves, in bins, or in the door itself. The label of ‘Lovely Vitis Vineyards’ on a container of grape juice stood out to me, so I grabbed its handle with my mouth, then walked over to a counter to place it down on. “Just apparently missed out on some kinky sex thing, had a near death experience, made a dragon angry—”
“I thought that near death thing was exaggerated, wasn’t it?” Surprise’s interruption would be met with delay in turn.
I began to search the cabinets for a glass.
“They’re above the sink.” Surprise said, which was appreciated, and decided to repay.
“Thanks, and no it wasn’t exaggerated. Also, before you ask, they didn’t care enough to stop me from leaving, so that’s why I’m not still there.” I pulled a glass out, and put it next to the grape juice, then began to fill it with said grape juice.
“Jack, that can’t be true. Nopony that works at the hospital would let anything personal get in the way of helping anypony.” Her view of this world really needed to be dimmed.
With the glass in hoof, I turned back to Surprise. “They did, and if you don’t see how everypony treats Berry, then I’m not surprised she is an alcoholic. Nopony gives her a chance to be anything…” I let out a groan. “I’m going native.”
Surprise looked away and down at the floor, but I could still see her contemplative face in the reflective floor. “Did…” She looked back up at me. “Did anything else happen today?”
“Made Twilight mad,” I took a sip of the grape juice, which was another form of pure ecstasy. If the food and drink was this good here, then I couldn’t imagine why anyone would have substance abuse problem, but then again the drugs probably reached an even higher plateau I couldn’t imagine. “then wandered into that terrifying place you call The Harmony Sphere.”
“Ponies don’t just wander into The Harmony Sphere, Jack. I, or one of my close friends has to open the door. Wish Twilight would let me hold parties there.” There it was again. The incessant need to be certain of anything here. Quite frankly, I was beginning to doubt any rule of my own universe mattered that much if this one existed as well.
“Maybe I’m the exception to all rules? Seems like everyone is throwing a whole lot of cannots, but I just keep doing the impossible anyway.” I focused on drinking the glass of grape juice, while I eyed Surprise.
A frown appeared on her face. “Fine. What happened in The Harmony Sphere?”
The last drop of the grape juice fell from the glass into my mouth, and I walked over to the kitchen sink. “Lost my mind, ate an apple, found my mind, stumbled upon Spike, lost my mind again, had a one on one session with Spike, lost my mind for a third time, then Spike helped me find and keep my mind. Pretty much everything that happened to me today.” I said, then pulled open a drawer next to the sink for a dish rag, and cleaned the glass out in the sink.
“What do you mean by ‘lost your mind’?” The curiosity I had heard before reappeared in her tone.
“Place kept making me forget my priorities and goals.” I finished cleaning the glass, and stowed it in the disk rack next to the sink, then turned back to Surprise. “I’ve decided I don’t care for your force of good. I’ll take my world of good and evil only being defined by society any day.”
“Harmony wouldn’t do anything bad. Are you sure…” Surprise trailed off, but I knew what she wanted to ask.
“Were you going to say ‘Are you sure it wasn’t the alcohol?’. What about anything I’ve done so far has remotely said I’m intoxicated? Do you just expect Berry to be drunk all the time?” I said, accusingly, then went to put the grape juice container away.
Silence and a look of shame were the only responses from Surprise.
With the container of grape juice back in the fridge, I turned back to Surprise. “Un-huh, thought so.” She isn’t going to go away until I give her an answer. “Have you ever met someone who has had a near death experience? Maybe that’s why I can see you when you do whatever it is you do?”
“Well, no, but Twi—”
“Twilight doesn’t know anything!” Gah! No reason to get angry. This forced charade will be over by tomorrow afternoon. “Sorry for that.”
“What happened with Twilight today?” She had the good sense to at least stop asking me the same question.
“Almost nothing and that was the problem.” I walked by her, and back into the corridor between the stairs and living room.
“She still wouldn’t look inside your mind?” Surprise said, and the attenuation of her voice told me she was still following me. “Weird. When you—”
I stopped and gave her a glare of my shoulder.
An uncomfortable smile found its place on her muzzle. “When Berry gets really out of control, like a couple nights back, that’s when Twilight does those mind organizing sessions on her.”
“Organizing?” I said, then continued my stride, and stopped again at the base of the stairs.
“Yeah, she can sort anypony’s mind out if they ask her to, like make them smarter, or help with sad things.”
“Surprise?” I said, and began to ascend the stairs.
“Yes?” she said, then decided to bypass the stairs by flying.
“Do you plan on leaving tonight?” Once I reached the landing at the top of the stairs, I hit another lightswitch, and saw the second floor’s hallway carpet had also been cleaned. The fact Surprise had cleaned the house this well in a little over six hours was quite astonishing.
“Yeah, once you see everything I did. I fixed the hinges to the master bedroom,”
It was time to tell her she went above and beyond in assisting me in my alcoholic recovery. Maybe even make one of those magic oaths she called a Surprise Swear to never indulge in alcohol again. She clearly wasn’t going to listen to the truth, and it would all be the truth, even if I had already decided to never get drunk again already.
I turned and looked down at her from the landing. “Surprise, you’ve gone-”
“and organized your—” She dropped from the air down onto the stairs, while her eyes went wide.
“-beyond… What’s wrong now?!” There was absolutely no reason whatsoever for her to freak out, aside from somehow guessing exactly what I was going to say.
She held herself low to the stairs, then slowly crept toward me, while staring at me.
I looked around to see if anything was amiss, but the only thing strange going on was Surprise’s behavior. “What are you—”
She brought a forehoof up to her mouth. “Shh. Don’t move.”
If she tackles me, I’m so going to claim self-defence on any actions that follow… Bah! Who am I kidding? Any retaliation to her crazy would just land me in hot water with someone, and I don’t need any trouble. Not when I’m this close to progress. I braced myself for whatever she planned to do.
She seemed to be trying to keep herself at an angle, while looking at me, and finished her slow ascent at my forehooves. Slowly her left forehoof reached forward, and touched the silver bow pendant on the necklace I had found in my saddlebags after my trip into the Harmony Sphere. A fascinated look appeared in her eyes, then she promptly pulled it toward herself for a closer look, and pulled me along with it.
“Pretty!” Surprise said, oblivious to her rudeness.
I slipped out of the necklace chain, and let her hold the pendant, while I gave her a disapproving look. “Did you know that taking something away from someone is rude?”
“Huh?” She looked at the pendant again, then back to me. “This is your’s?!”
“Yes…” The look in her eyes made me take a step back.
A wide smile grew on her face. “Where’d you get it? Was it a gift?! Did Due Process give it to you?! Are you two back together?! Is it an engagement gift?! Have you picked a date?! Can I—”
“Quiet!” I stomped my left forehoof on the floor, then promptly found my hoof inside the floor.
“Um…” Surprise looked at where my forehoof went through the floor.
My forehoof came out of the floor easily, but a hoof sized hole remained in the carpeted floor. “Huh… thought the house would be made stronger for a family of earth ponies… Give me my necklace back.”
She held the necklace out, and I went to grab it, but she pulled it away before I could grab it.
“Wait! I need to test something,” Surprise said, then promptly did her semi-disappearing act, which was still painful to look.
I closed my eyes this time, and tried not to get too angry, though she didn’t leave much room for understanding. “Unless you want to meet the same fate as the floor, then you better be visible when I open my eyes! One—”
“Huh, thought it might be the pendant. Here,”
I reopened my eyes to see she wasn’t an eyesore anymore. “Thank you.” I snatched the necklace out of her forehoof, and put it back on. “Now, please go home,” I said, then turned and went down the hallway.
“I don’t need to go home. So why is your pendant enchanted so nopony can see it normally? Did you join a secret society? Can I join? When do…”
I tuned Surprise out and looked into the rooms as I passed them. The rooms were only illuminated by what light bled in from the hallway, but I could tell what Surprise had done in each. Piña’s room was straightened up, and didn’t look like a child had ever been there, which made the room a little less depressing. The master bedroom had been completely cleaned of webs, and all the sheets on everything were gone, so I decided I would be sleeping in there tonight.
“If you are staying here tonight, then you can sleep in Berry’s or Piña’s room. Master bedroom is mine.” I said, heedless of the fact she was lost in her crazy.
“Is the dress code robes, or some form of… Huh?”
The bathroom between Berry’s and Piña’s room was immaculate, but the master bathroom would be where I would relax tonight. Berry’s room was mainly straightened up, like Piña’s room, but I did notice the strawberry bedding had been replaced with a grape one. My self-guided tour of the house concluded outside the master bathroom, which was just as well cleaned as the rest of the house.
Surprise flew in front of me. “So are you happy now?” she said, and seemed eager to hear my answer.
“I am…” I can’t believe I’m going to say this consciously. “head over hooves.” I forced a smile. “You have made things so much more pleasant for the remainder of my stay in your world.” I tried to move past her, but she continued to block the doorway into the master bathroom.
“No, you aren’t.” She gave me a sad frown.
“Yes, I am!” I widened my smile to a point I didn’t think possible, but quickly remembered what was possible was really just a suggestion nearly everyone had taken as an order.
Her lips were pursed and quivering. “Your ears and tail are drooping just like they were yesterday.”
“Oh! Yeah, I think they are broken.” I shook my head back and forth, which flopped my ears about.
“Huh?!” She flew above me and began to touch my ears.
“Haven’t worked since—”
A strong and prolonged shrieking came from Surprise, and it was the last thing I could stand from her.
I swung a forehoof at her, but she deftly dodged it. “Just give me a few minutes to myself,” I said, then moved into the master bathroom. I closed the door before she could follow, and locked it.
“Jack! We need to get going to the concert!” Surprise said, through the door, and tried to open it.
“Only place I’m going to be is the shower!” I let out a sigh, and was grateful to finally be relatively alone.
A pair towels and washcloths had already be put on towel rack next to the large walk in shower, so I didn’t need to retrieve any from the linen cabinet in the room. I sat down and swiftly removed the overwear I’d worn almost the entire day, then stood to remove the necklace. The pendant was another mystery to solve at some point, but for now it would just have to remain as such, and I placed it on the sink’s countertop.
I’ll take a hot shower, then deal with Surprise if she is still here after. I thought, then grabbed a washcloth and entered the shower.
The choice of soap in the shower was simply one bottle of liquid soap, which was an all-in-one soap for mane, coat, and tail. The bottle said for stallions, and had a musky scent to it, which was alright for me, then I began working it into my mane. After a few moments I noticed something amiss with my tail, then turned to look back at it.
In the shower with me, with her tongue sticking out, and focused on lathering my tail between her hooves, was Surprise.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” I said, then jerked my tail away from her, and remembered that I’d forgotten to lock the master bedroom door to the master bathroom.
The sudden jerking of my tail out of her grasp left her with a confused face, then she looked at me. “What does ‘hail’ have to do with a hot shower?”
“What are you doing?!” I imagined Surprise as the victim in that one old horror movie shower scene, if only to stop myself from considering actual violence.
“Helping you get done with your shower sooner, so we can go to the concert,” she said, with a seemingly innocent smile.
“I don’t…” Damn it, she isn’t going to take no for an answer is she? Well, there are other ways to get rid of someone. “Surprise, will there be a medical tent at this concert?”
“Yes. Why?”
“And will some of your friends be there?”
“All of my friends will be there. Do you need to see anyone in particular?”
“Will there be a crowd so thick, that by the time the music starts you could easily be separated from someone?”
“I guess?”
There were plenty of opportunities to get rid of her at the concert. “Great, continue doing what you were doing to my tail.”
“Are you sure you want to smell like a stallion? I could get Berry’s soaps from the other bathroom.”
“Hell yes I’m fine with smelling like a stallion.” Guess I’ll have to start identifying as transgendered if I’m stuck here long. Maybe even do some crossdressing, which might actually help convince others I’m not Berry.