//------------------------------//
// Depression, Confession, and Escape 
// Story: Shakespony: Merchant of Romane 
// by Even Evil Has Standards 
//------------------------------//

                                THE SAME-A ROOM IN ZORRAN'S HOUSE
Pinkie Pie was showing Percy around and came to a stop in her chambers. It was in terrible shape. Cobwebs were in every nook and cranny of the room. The floor had holes and was made of rotten boards full of holes. It was also rather cramped, but that was to be expected as it was the attic.

But it looked like a mansion room compared to Pinkie Pie. She looked worse than Berry Punch on her drunkest night. Her eyes were saggy and the eyelids drooped so that they were almost closed. Her body seemed gray and her fur was stiff. Her mane and tail weren't exactly flat, but they had lost A LOT of their bounciness.

"Sorry about this," she croaked, "but Zorran said that this was the best he could salvage since the other rooms were taken. It's been like Tartarus here."

"You know Miss Pie, you should try and leave. This isn't good for your health."
"The thought has crossed my mind, but I can't. He took me in."
Percy sighed. "Sure, and in a few months you'll look and sound like this."
He took a tip of her mane in his hooves and blew on it until it was restored. Then he reached in and pulled out an antique phone (then the mane deflated after he let go). He knocked the receiver off its cradle and blew up Pinkie Pie's tail the same way. Percy then used the tip like a finger and fumbled with the dialer. After her tail deflated, a cold voice was heard.

"Hello. You've reached Alan Rickman at 555-0122. Leave a message after the beep.".

While this happened, Percy had his back to Pinkie Pie. He turned around to show himself smoking a hoof made tobacco roll. "Relax," he hacked, "listen to this." He stomped the tobacco roll to ashes, then picked up the receiver and said in a cold, hard voice:

"Hello, Alan Rickman. This is Alan Rickman. Don't forget to take the frozen turkeys out of the freezer and put them in the fridge so they can thaw. Do not disappoint me." He turned to Pinkie. "See, that's what you sound like."

The pink pony hung her head. If she started to sound like a cold stallion, then she would be done for. She threw her hooves around Percy. "I want to leave so bad," she sobbed.

"There there, Pinkie. A special some pony will come along and set you free."
"How will I know?" she sniffled.
"All in good time. Now I'm sorry to leave you like this," he said as they broke apart, "but James tells me that our friends are dining before he and Thomas leave for Bellmare."

"Farewell, good Percy." As the green pony left the room, Pinkie Pie felt hope flare up inside her and her mane and her tail inflated somewhat. She had so many questions to ask Percy like... "Are you writing this, Hiatt Gray?"

THE SAME-A STREET
Percy met up with James who was with Edward and Toby. "Ahoy," he called, "what's the plan?"

"Well, just one of our usual banquet with our friends before Thomas and I part," said James. 

Percy nervously scraped the ground. "I might be a bit late."
"Why?" asked Toby.
"I...am going to help a little friend."
"Who is it?" asked Edward. 
Percy coughed. "I...rather not say. But I must go and write a note. I must make haste." Again.

"Now who and what could possibly be more important than a farewell dinner for your best friend?" wondered Toby. 

Percy wasn't saying anything on the matter so the two of them left. James, on the other hoof, stayed behind to talk to Percy. "Percy, you wouldn't be this for Zorran's daughter, now would you?"

Percy nearly went into a frenzy. "Wha-wha-what-t? Why would I do that?"
James snorted, "Please Percy, earlier you talked about cheering her up. We all know what Zorran is like to his own allies. Is she really in that much trouble?"

Percy sighed. "I have to confess that I am doing it for her. She is starting look like that one lookalike that one sergeant made up." He shuddered. "I couldn't sleep for a week."

James' eyes narrowed. "Now I know what happened that gave you insomnia. Good thing that so-called sarge was put away."

"That's beside the point," Percy whined, Joe Besser like. "The point is that she ain't what she use to be. Her mane and tail don't have that bounce they had. She's going to be the grayest pony around, emotionally."

"Alright Percy," said James, "I can understand wanting to help her, but why her of all ponies?" He smirked. "Has she caught your eye?"

Whatever red was on Percy's face grew redder still. "Oh alright, I admit it. I am doing this for her because I... Because I... Love her."

"I knew it. But why?"
"Ask the readers. I must hurry." With that, he rushed off, leaving a very confused James behind.

"Now where do you suppose he gets those random tidbits from?"

ZORRAN'S HOUSE-HALLWAY UNDER PINKIE'S ROOM
Zorran was about to head out for the night on business (and pleasure), and was giving instructions to Zak and Zebedee. But it wasn't easy. "Make sure she doesn't come out until I come back."

The 2 brothers were a bit dim, so they often repeated their orders. Then again, "dim" was a bit of an understatement. "Not to come out, even if you come back." Zak coughed.

"No, until I come back."
"Right. Until you come back, we're not to enter her room."
"No, you stay here and make sure she doesn't leave her room."
"Until you come back." Zak coughed.
"We're not to let her do anything apart from entering her room."
"Leaving her room."
"Oh yeah."
"Alright?" Zak coughed. Zorran started to leave, but heard Zebedee calling for him. 
"If she had to leave and we were with her-"
Zorran smacked hoof smacked his head. "It's very simple. Just make sure she doesn't leave."

"Until you or another pony-"
"No, just me."
"Just you."
"Get back."
"Get back." Zak coughed.
"Right, we'll stay here until you get back."
"And make sure she doesn't leave."
"What?"
"Make sure she doesn't come out."
"Oh her. I thought you meant him." Zebedee pointed at Zak who coughed.
"Alright? Be fine?"
"Yeah we'll be fine. No problems."
Zorran started to leave again, but noticed he was being followed. "Where are you going?" he demanded.

"We're going with you."
Zorran grit his teeth. "No, you stay here and make sure that Pinkie Pie doesn't leave her room." And he stormed off.

THE ROOF
The moneylender was in such a mood that he didn't notice a green earth pony on the roof with 2 bags of laundry. "This is the oldest trick in the book." With difficulty, he stuffed the bags through the window. Pinkie Pie was startled, but she put on the clothes that were in one bag. 

A DIFFERENT STREET
Waiting for them, disguised as sailors, were Edward (viz: Carl Ballantine as Gonzorgo) and Toby (viz: Jerry Colonna as Gonzales). "Where could they be?" asked Toby.

"I don't know," said Edward, "he said to meet us here dressed like this. I wonder what he's up to."

Just then, they heard panting. They turned and saw Percy (viz: Joe Besser as Rodrigo in red) and Pinkie Pie (viz: Elijah Wood as the Artful Dodger). There was something different about the latter. Her fur seemed brighter; her tail and the part of her mane that wasn't stuffed into the hat seemed bouncier. 

"Percy, what-"
"No time to explain! We have to be off!"

LATER
They made it very far out of the town until Percy had them stop. "This is goodbye."
"What? Why?" asked the other two.
"It's not good for me here," said Pinkie. "I wanted to leave Zorran, but I was too afraid. But now I have the courage to do it. And it's all thanks to Percy-wercy." She wrapped Percy in a bear hug. He blushed. 


Edward and Toby smirked. It seems their green friend found someone special.

OUT TO SEA
The five ships were in a terrible predicament. Normally, it would be difficult to communicate, but Hercules had casted a spell that would enable the captains to talk to each other. The voyage started out fair. But now high winds mixed with cross currents were making extremely difficult. Hercules was having a hard time with the Rhett Butler. "Come on Stars! Do what you can!"

Big Mac struggled with the Diesel Tug. "She's not responding Hercules! The winds too strong!"

"I can't hold the Railway Tug much longer!" yelled Top Hat.
"We're giving the Municipal all we got, no more!" roared Warrior.
As they progressed, the storm was getting worse. "How's things on the Paddle Boat O.J?" called Hercules. No response. He tried calling the others, but the responses were ixnay. He could only hope that they were alright.