//------------------------------//
// Session 27 
// Story: Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) 
// by Alex Warlorn 
//------------------------------//



Session 27.0 Mtangalion

Back in the human world, 'Karl' was poking at a simple wooden chair and looking at it from several different angles. Gilda rolled her eyes and sat in the next chair over. "Like this, dork," she whispered, giving him a lazy grin.

Karl shook his head and carefully copied her, shaking his head. "Limbs aren't supposed to bend this way!" he muttered. "Gotta relax... play it cool..."

On Karl's other side, Fluttershy was giving him a curious look. "Um, hello there... Karl?" She dug in a backpack. "Would you like some sunflower seeds?"

Karl took one from her, sniffed it, then tried to toss it into his mouth. It fell short, and he grabbed for it, snatching it before it fell to the floor. When he managed to get it in his mouth, he sat up straight. "This is good! Thank you!"

Gilda leaned past him. "Ooh, sunflower seeds? Gimme!" She started to snatch the whole bag from Fluttershy's hand, but Fluttershy froze her in place with a glare. "I mean... can I have some?" Gilda forced a grin, sweating a bit. "Please?"

Fluttershy smiled gently. "Of course you may, Gilda."

Suddenly, a madly grinning Pinkie Pie was leaning between them, one hand on Gilda's shoulder and the other on Karl's... and they hadn't noticed her getting up from her own seat across the table. "When would you two like your Welcome to Earth party? I mean, Canterlot. Earth, Canterlot, I always get those mixed up!"

"So what are we playing, anyway?" asked Rainbow Dash, leaning her chair dangerously far back.

Pinkie Pie was magically back in her seat again, like nothing had happened.

Sunset Shimmer sighed, then set a game box on the table. "Against my better judgment... we're going to give World of Horsecraft the pen and paper RPG a try."

"I think it'll be fun," said Twilight. "I can't wait to see how they adapted the unique game mechanics." She opened the box and started passing out character sheets.

Applejack leaned and whispered to Rarity. "Five bucks says it's regular D&D with different names again." They were interrupted by a buzzing sound, like a cell phone on vibrate. 

Sunset checked her pockets, and then her satchel. "Excuse me..." She pulled out her journal and skimmed through the pages. "Hey, could you guys start the game without me? I have to take care of something. Princess Twilight's gone just a teensy bit crazy again."

"Again?" chorused everyone else in the room.

"Yep." Sunset took the black jacket off her chair and slipped it on. "I just need to go close the portal until it's safe."

Karl made a sound somewhere between a strangled gasp and a squawk. "What? Close the portal?!"

Sunset froze, then grinned nervously. "Did I say portal? I meant... garage. Yeah, our friend Starlight went on a trip and left her *garage* door open, and she's really not happy about that, so I'll just... take care it right quick."

Karl jumped out of his chair. "I could help!"

"No!" yelped Sunset. "I mean... thanks, but I've got this, see ya, bye!" She dashed on out the door, and they heard her motorcycle revving, then fading into the distance.

Karl sat down heavily. "What am I supposed to do?" he hissed quietly at Gilda. "I'll be stuck here!"

"Oh, relax," grumbled Gilda under her breath. "Absolute worst case, they'll have some kind of standoff for a week, and then it'll all be fixed in a half-hour or so."

"A week!?"

"Sure it's lame, but it's really not that big of a deal. You can stay with me. Look, don't be such a baby."

"Hatchling."

"Whatever!" 

Unfortunately, no one had thought to warn Spike about their extra guests, and he came trotting in now, wearing an adorable miniature chef's hat and pushing a cart with his forepaws. "Hey girls! Pizza's re- .... whoops."

"Thank you, small friend!" said Karl cheerfully, serving himself a big slice from the half with extra meat toppings. "It smells delicious!" He started to take a bite, then noticed that everyone was starting at him... except for Gilda, who was clutching his arm and gaping at Spike the dog, eyes wide. "What?"

Gilda started whispering urgently in his ear.

"Seriously?" asked Karl. "Well, okay..." He pointed dramatically. "Oh my gosh, a talking dog."

Twilight took her glasses off and folded them carefully, then face palmed.

Session 27.1 Dragon-Of-Twiight

Coffee Swirl sighed to himself, mentally running through his list of reasons to keep on living as he trudged through the town.

"Eh, one of them will probably kill me for one reason or another soon enough," he finally said as he opened his café.

Ponyville was still Ponyville, after all.

Session 27.2 Ardashir

And outside of town?

"I am a KING!" Aspen snorted, rearing before Fluttershy. "I will not be bullied by some, some wretched PONY!"

She glared at him, standing along with the rest of the Everfree deer on a checked board she'd had cut into the forest floor like living chess pieces. Beside her stood Harry the Bear and her new friend, Igor the Gorilla.

"One. Last. Time." Fluttershy said, her voice cold. She pointed at the board. "Will you be a good king for my life-size chess game, or not?"

Aspen yanked the paper crown from his head and flung it at her hooves. Then he stomped on it and turned to leave.

Fluttershy sighed. "Igor, destroy."

Igor said nothing. He merely took two steps and smashed his hairy fist down on Aspen's head. The arrogant deer king slumped senseless to the ground. Igor put the crown back on top of his head and set him back in his place.

Fluttershy looked at the deer.

"Any other complaints?" The deer frantically shook their heads no. Fluttershy smiled wickedly. "Then start the game."

Nearby, two hidden deer watched it all. 

"I hope Aspen does that again when he wakes up," one of them muttered.

"Why? So he can bravely defy the pony witch?"

"No, so that gorilla beats that jerk up a few more times."

Session 27.3 Richforce co-written with Dragon-of-Twilght


It was a sign of just how used to calamities, mayhem, general insanity, and aspiring evil overlords Ponyville had become that, within a week's time, the citizens had managed to set up a sizeable 'battlefield' for the two combatants. Ovens, stoves, utensils of every shape and size, and a table full of every conceivable ingredient one could possibly use. There were even a few ingredients added by Gilda, Alisa, and Kevin on the off-chance a use would be found for them.

Even Grogar himself couldn't help but be mildly impressed by it all.

"Hmph, I would have expected mindless running and panicking for the week; yet they still come to witness their downfall." He cast his gaze to a series of stands and clouds that had been steadily filling with ponies as the time for the contest neared. "Saves me the trouble of having to prove my claim to victory when my opponent doesn't show."

That was the one thing that had everypony (and assorted other species) been nervous about the whole thing; Pinkie Pie had been gone for nearly a week following the declaration of the challenge, only waiting a day to hear world from Emerald Grass and then seemingly vanishing without a trace. Indeed, Grogar had been ready to claim victory the moment he returned had Twilight not reminded him that Pinkie still had precisely 43 minutes to go before the weeks’ time had expired.

That had been 42 minutes ago, and Twilight's mane was starting to fray as she continually checked the time and scanned for any sign of Pinkie.

"Time isn't up yet," she muttered hooves tapping the ground nervously and her eye twitching. "She can still show!"

Grogar scoffed. "You are merely prolonging what you know to be inevitable. That insufferable mare has turned tail and abandoned you, you merely refuse to see it." He jabbed a cloven hoof at the time display, now down to literally seconds before he could (LEGALLY) declare himself ruler of Equestria by right of forfeit. "This farce of a contest ends in precisely.... five... four... three... two... o-"

"Is the challenger prepared?"

Everyone present had been so focused on the clock and Grogar's countdown that none of them had noticed when or how Pinkie Pie had suddenly arrived. A baker's hat was upon her head, her mane was tied back in a tight bun reminiscent of her mother's and covered with a hairnet, and a chef's coat covered the front half of her body. An expression of utmost seriousness most would consider alien to the party pony graced her face as she stood before Grogar.

The goat scoffed. "Trying to be fashionably late?" he mocked.

"A chef is never late," Pinkie responded. "Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to."

This was, of course, met with another scoff. "It makes no difference to me; this sordid joke of a contest will be over in due time, and I will claim my victory and my spoils." He raised his lips in a sneer. "And I think I'll make sure you and the Cake family have to sample the most pathetic concoctions of the most incompetent chefs I can find. Maybe I'll even have some carnivorous cooks fry up some horse meat for them to 'enjoy'."

Alisa snarled from the stands as a lion's growl worked its way up Gilda's throat. However, Pinkie took the insults with nary a blink or a change in expression. "Petty mockery is a sign of doubt in your skill, this challenge will not take long." She calmly turned around and walked over to her table, standing calmly behind it. "If the challenger has no further comments, I am ready to begin."

Grogar growled at being so flippantly brushed off, but made his way to the opposite table. "As am I."

"Well then, this is shaping up to be an interesting match already." Discord appeared in a flash of light, wearing a referee's uniform and holding a microphone that went to... well, no one seemed quite able to follow it to its end-point; but it made his voice carry nonetheless. "I must say, this is a first even for me; leave it to Ponies to have the fate of their country hang on a cooking contest of all things."

"Discordance!" Grogar stomped his hoof angrily. "I will not allow you to take my conquest as your-"

"I don't want it!" Discord snapped back. "I gave up any and all overlord aspirations like 3 seasons ago at this point." He turned back to the crowd. "Though I am running for elected office next month." There was a flash of light and a giant poster featuring Discord in a suit and tie behind the real deal; the slogan 'Organized Chaos when we need it!' running along the bottom. "I trust I can count on your votes." It vanished in another flash. "But, for now..." he cleared his throat. "Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet's get ready to batterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Twilight just rolled her eyes and stepped up between the tables. “Here are the rules, you both have one hour to prepare a four course meal to be enjoyed by our judges who have been sworn to decide solely on the quality and flavor of the chefs’ dishes.”

“Allow me to introduce our distinguished panel!” Discord said bumping Twilight out of the way. “First off we have Canterlot nobility’s biggest big wig, Fancy Pants!”

Fancy Pants took his place at a table in prominent view of all the stands. “Charmed to meet you all!”

“Next we have captain of the Wonderbolts and three-time aerial yo-yo champion, Spitfire!

The Pegasus flew into her seat next to Fancy Pants. “Always willing to fly that extra mile for a good cause, or free food.”

“The recently crowned Dragon Lord, I’d say Dragon Lady but means something else altogether, Ember!”

Ember flew into her seat. “I hope you make it spicy, most dragons find pony food a little on the bland side.”

“And finally if you thought Zesty Gourmand was tough this food critic has crushed, both figuratively and literally, some of the finest restaurants in Yakyakistan with a single sentence in the morning newspaper! Give it up for Raul Stompinhoof!”

A black furred yak took up the last empty seat. “The food this evening had better be good.”

“Now without further delay on your marks, get set, COOOOOOOOOOOOK!”

Twilight sounded the buzzer to start the contest. Both chefs gathered their ingredients. Almost immediately Pinkie began whipping up cake batter for a cake. On the other hoof Grogar was using his magic to levitate several utensils and ingredients at once and using them to cut, whisk and mash all at the same time.

“Forty-five minutes remaining,” said Twilight as she kept an eye on the clock.

As Grogar continued his storm of cooking Pinkie was moving quickly between cutting veggies, boiling pasta and grating cheese. All the while working on the several layered cake she had baking in the ovens.

“Thirty minutes remaining.”

The temperature on the arena floor seemed to intensify as the grills, stovetops, fryers and ovens were working to capacity. In the stands Mr. Cake was biting his hooves while Mrs. Cake looked on with worry, the twins however laughed at the spectacle around them.

“Fifteen minutes remaining.”

The chefs began applying the finishing touches. In particular Pinkie was stacking the layers of the cake while icing and embedding jewels into it. She added Miso-sensei’s special spice on her food and then added the final touches, two plastic figurines of Celestia and Luna as fillies and placed them on top of the cake, gave both a kiss and opened a book. “Once upon a time…”

“Five…four…three…two…one, time’s up!” Twilght called out. “The chefs will now present their creations to the panel. As decided by an earlier coin toss Grogar will go first.”

Gorgar came before the judges first. “I give you Faux Prime Rib with whipped mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus on the side, Stroganoff with a creamy wine sauce, Watercress salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing garnished with actual bits and for dessert Crème Brule al a Flambé.” Gorgar turned to Pinkie. “Oh and what wine do you think would go good with the domination of Equestria?”

Grogar placed a sample of each dish in front of the judges as they whispered to each other.

“Good,” said Fancy Pants. “But about what you would expect from a high tier Canterlot restaurant on an average night.”

“I’m not all that familiar with all this fancy food,” said Spitfire. “It’s good food, but if that bit garnish is supposed to be a bribe, I’m not taking it.”

“If this I’m not entirely impressed with pony cuisine so far,” said Ember. “Plain gold is a bit on the mild side to be a proper dragon garnish, but I can’t complain about the crème brule.”

“I deem this meal adequate,” Raul said plainly.

“Now it in Pinkie Pie’s turn to present her meal,” said Discord.

“For your dining pleasure I proudly present, Spaghetti Pomodoro with a side of fried eggplant, a three sauce enchilada with refried beans and guacamole, Mushroom bisque soup seasoned with basil and rosemary and of course a Sunrise Moonrise Sister’s Surprise Cake.”

The announcement of the cake brought a number of gasps. “But nopony has made that since the Canterlot Cake Calamity!”

“Huh,” scoffed Grogar. “Those dishes are too different to go together!”

Pinkie just kept her eyes on the judges, “Like a good friendship, it is the differences that make whole experience all the better.”

Pinkie left the food on the table and stepped back to leave the rest to the judges.

“I say this bisque is incredible,” said Fancy Pants. “The blend of herbs is remarkable!”

“The sauce on this spaghetti is so light, I feel like I take off with increased speed,” said Spitfire. “But at the same time the flavor hits like a tornado.”

“This Enchilada is so spicy and the gems in the cake complement each other so well,” said Ember. “This pony really gets what a dragon wants.”

“This food…” Rual said with a single tear rolling from his eye. “It is food like this that reminds me why I become critic is first place. To eat food that a chef had put their whole heart into, it is perfect.”
Few minutes later Discord addressed the crowd and now the results, the winner will be showered in glory, the loser will be doomed to scrub!” Discord popped up a large sink stacked high with dirty dishes. “Princess Celestia is hosting a dinner party later and this way I avoid cleaning her china.”

“And the winner is…” Twilight said holding an envelope. She took a moment to open it as the crowd watched in anticipation. “Pinkie Pie!”
Pinkie Pie’s friends crowded her. “I guess you really knew what you doing,” said Applejack.

“I wasn’t SURE sure until I tried some this ‘spice’ Emerald Grass’ teacher gave me,” said Pinkie Pie. “It turned out to be regular water.”

“The old magic feather trick huh?” said Rainbow.

“I just used some as a reminder before turning everything in, but you’ll excuse me I have to tell every pony something.” Pinkie started to address the crowd. “I worked hard this week to accomplish one goal, to save the baking legacy of the Cake family by humiliating a dark wizard in a cooking contest in front of hundreds of spectators. I believe I accomplished this goal.”
Grogar simply grumbled as he was washing dishes with Discord standing over his shoulder.

“But the real joy of cooking is not in a stadium, it’s at the home for family and friends or for some in a restaurant for the community. And for that reason since Grogar’s probably going to snet to Tartarus to try to reform him, I’d like to also recommend a work release program of sorts…”

+++

A few days later the girls were playing Bunnies and Burrows at Sugar Cube Corner. “Ok,” said Fluttershy. “You find yourselves in front of Farmer Sprout’s carrot patch. The skies above are clear and…”

“Gah!” came a yell from the kitchen.

“Just a second girls, I’ll handle this,” said Pinkie.

In the kitchen a magically chained Grogar was sucking on his hoof. “You dare to burn my hoof?! Feel thine own wrath stove!” Grogar then started blasting the stovetop with weakened black lightning.

“What did we say about using your evil powers, trainee?” Pinkie said drawing out the last word.

Grogar grumbled. “Good food is made with love, not dark magic.”

Session 27.4 Ardashir


"Uhh, you SURE this is a good idea, Twilight?" Applejack carefully set down a bowl of apples between a smaller one of Changeling nectar and a third one of a seaweed Seaponies ate. She shuddered away from the dish with Mexi-colt griffin tacos on it, filled with -- shudder --meat.

"I'm sure, Applejack," Twilight responded as she checked her game books, made sure there were enough dice and paper, and arranged the table. "Princess Celestia and Sunset Shimmer both suggested it as a way to shorten their parole, and they agreed. And they will be wearing magic inhibitors..."

Applejack wheeled on her. She stopped. 

"But th' Dazzlings? An' QUEEN CHRYSALIS? Playing games?" AJ looked at the books and winced. "'Specially that game? Call of Ponythulu? Just seems like there's something off 'bout lettin' eldritch abominations fight eldritch abominations..."

"That was my idea!" Twilight looked at the game books, "You HAVE to cooperate to even survive in CoP, so if the Dazzlings and Chrysalis want to 'win', which means escape alive and sane, they'll have to work together." Twilight smiled triumphantly. "They'll learn how much better it is to cooperate with others rather than just take from them!"

"Maybe," Applejack frowned. She headed for the door. "Ah'll be back on the farm. Ya got Spike here. When, ah mean IF things go wrong, just call for me an' Ah'll come runnin'." The castle doors closed behind her.

Twilight flew to the window and called after her.

"It'll work great, Applejack! You'll see!"

A surly familiar voice spoke behind her.

"What's gonna work great?"

"Hello, Adagio, Aria," Twilight nodded at the Sirens, all three looking vaguely Pegasi-like with their diaphanous wings. They crawled/slithered away from the world mirror as Sonata nearly fell face first coming out of it. Adagio scowled and Aria just rolled her eyes. Sonata made a beeline for the table, licking fanglike teeth. Twilight forced herself not to shudder. "We're almost all here for your first week of therapy..."

"It was this or have Sun-Butt turn us into stone," Aria folded her forelegs over her chest and grumbled. Adagio glared as she added, "All because 'Dagi tried to sneak back into the royal palace and steal some of those forbidden spellbooks Shimmer tried to use. Now we either play games like foals or end up pigeon roosts... OW!" Aria rubbed her head where Adagio had hoofed her.

"Don't you dare criticize me!" Adagio snapped. "This is better than collecting moss for centuries! Besides," her voice softened a trifle. "If this works, we can see Aquastria again. Briefly."

"Yeah, and I wonder if that seaweed place we used to go to is still open," Sonata said from the table, already scarfing down her third taco. Her eyes closed dreamily as she gulped and swallowed, reddish sauce running like blood down her muzzle. "Oh, tacos... I love meat so much..."

"It's been over a thousand years, Sonata," Adagio snapped as she made her way to the table. "That place probably closed nine hundred years ago." She looked back at Aria, still frowning. "Move it, Aria. If I have to be humiliated, then so do you."

"Fine," Aria went to her seat. "Guess we better get going before Sonata eats everything. Hey, Sonata, remember when you weren't as big as a house?"

Sonata gasped and snarled. "I was NEVER fat! You're the one who was FAT, you, you freshwater fish!"

Aria snarled at Sonata's words. Her own fangs showing, she began heading for Sonata. Sonata dropped down from the table, her normal goofiness gone, looking downright vicious. Twilight got ready to pull them apart. And then Adagio spoke up.

"Both of you, ZIP IT!" To Twilight's surprise, Sonata and Aria immediately calmed down, though they each went to seats on either side of Adagio. Adagio gave them both a glare and a rough shake along the necks before she spoke. "If playing Snakes and Ladders or checkers or whatever keeps us out of jail, then we're doing it! And NO complaints!" All three looked at Twilight impatiently.

"Heh, well, it's neither of those games." Twilight said as she got in her seat. She hoofed out three character sheets. Unnoticed by her, the eyes of the sirens widened in shock as she began, "It's something a little more mature, a game about cosmic horror in the worlds of..."

"That Horsecraft bozo?"

"What?" Twilight blinked at their reaction. "Wait, you now about Horsecraft? How? He only wrote his stories less than a hundred years ago."

"We, ah, knew some human guy like him," Adagio said. She tried and failed to look innocent. "Total flake. Told him all about Aquastria and how sea ponies used to have kids with landers..."

"Which is totally not true," Aria hurriedly added. 
-
"ACHOO!" Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and their mother all sneezed at the same time. 
-
"And he got all crazy abut seafood and fish people and stuff like that," Sonata said. 

"Anyway!" Adagio held up the gamebook in one hoof. "This better not be one of those stories where he slandered seaponies by saying we were creepy monsters that drove people nuts!"

Twilight desperately bit down on her initial response. "Oh, no, no! Just a simple investigation, heh." She mentally noted to replace the Deep Ponies with Ghoul Dogs. "Just the four of you."

"Huh? Three sirens said at once. "What 'four of us'?"

"I'm late," a dry, slightly metallic voice rasped. Chrysalis walked into the room, a sneer on her face. "Don't make anything out of it. I have business of my own to take care of, and..." 

Her gaze fell on the sirens. "Well! And here I thought I'd be eating whatever tripe your hick friend cooked up! At least you were thoughtful enough to provide seafood. But where's the tartar sauce?"

"SEAFOOD?!? Listen up, bug breath, we wouldn't eat YOU if you were tossed to us on a hook!" 

Twilight just groaned as they squabbled and wondered if this was really such a great idea.

Session 27.5 Mooncalf99

"Spike! Lord Ember!" Trixie declared imperiously as she strode into the palace. "Good, good, you're right on time."

"Yeaaah..." Spike said dubiously. "We were right on time. One hour ago. The time your letter mentioned. Which was one hour ago." He didn't look too enthused. Neither did Ember, who had spent the hour being questioned on pointless dragon trivia - including far too many concepts that made no sense to a dragon, such as childcare, property laws and night lights - by the ever-inquisitive Princess Twilight.

"I agreed to study under you, Kokushi Muso, but I'm not certain I like this waste of my time," Ember agreed.

"You're not?" Trixie said, sounding concerned. "That is a shame. Self-certainty is essential for good mahjong play."

"That's not--" Ember began.

"We'll just have to add more confidence training to your schedule," Trixie continued. She tsked. "I did not expect that kind of deficit from a Badlands dragon, but maybe it's healthier in the long run. No matter!"

"But--" Ember protested.

"Just let it go," Twilight suggested. "You are taking this seriously, right, Trixie?"

"As serious as anything," Trixie agreed with a proud grin. "Now, my faithful students, you're both progressing well in the basics, so today you have earned a very special lesson. Can you guess what it is? It is something that all good players must master."

"How to read your opponent?" Spike suggested.

"No, that's a basic lesson already, and I expect you to work at it as often as you can," Trixie said with a shake of her head.

"How to... prevent your opponent from reading you?" Ember suggested in turn.

Trixie shook her head again. "No, and same thing."

"Your sure-fire strategy for defeating any opponent?" Spike asked.

"If I had one, do you think I'd share it?" Trixie asked with a smirk.

"That thing where you crush your opponent with the sheer magnitude of your indomitable mahjong spirit?" Ember asked.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Trixie asked. "But mahjong power cannot be taught, only mastered through mastering the game. You'll get there in time."

"Playing mahjong does not give you super powers," Twilight pointed out irritatedly.

"I dunno... Mina said that Master Babylon once turned a weaker player into a patch of moss just by staring at him," Spike said.

"Sounds about right... but then, Uncle is very, very powerful and has to restrain himself almost all the time," Trixie said. "Anyway, to answer the question neither of you could find one for, today's lesson is 'thinking outside the box'. We have a lot of work ahead of us."

"Do you want me to sit in today?" Twilight asked. "You're short one player, and I've been practising."

"Absolutely not," Trixie said.

"...What?" Twilight asked, taken aback. She hadn't expected that kind of brutal rejection.

"Look, Twilight..." Trixie said. "You mean well, probably, but you're kind of... a terribly sore loser, and we really don't need that kind of attitude today."

"What do you mean?" Twilight said, surprised. "I'm not a sore loser."

"Right, and Trixie doesn't still have bruised ribs from dealing with your demon niece," Trixie said flippantly. "Regardless, I'm responsible for Lord Ember's training and I don't want that sort of negative influence on her. Besides, I've arranged for players today." Ignoring the fuming princess, Trixie clopped her hooves together. "Ladies, you may enter."

The front door swung open, and Octavia entered, followed by Vinyl Scratch, the latter bobbing her head to the beat of the music in her headphones and showing only a vague awareness of her surroundings. "It's about time. We were just about to give up and go home. Your highness...es," she added, noticing Twilight and Ember.

"Spike, Ember, this is Miss Octavia Melody and her friend Vinyl 'DJ PON3' Scratch, local talents," Trixie said. "Girls, this is Dragon Lord Ember, and you know Spike already."

"It's a... pleasure?" Ember asked uncertainly.

"I hope it will be," Octavia said. "Trixie did speak well of your skills, so you should provide some challenge."

"Uh, okay?" Spike said nervously. "I didn't even know you girls played."

The two musicians stopped and turned towards him with a curious regard. Vinyl Scratch carefully raised her glasses... and Spike felt his heart freeze in terror.

This isn't going to be easy.





"You will be facing Octavia directly, Ember," Trixie explained. "Spike is your second in north position, while Vinyl is Octavia's south. As mentioned, try to think beyond the game, and watch what your opponent is doing."

Ember looked cautiously at the grey earth pony on the other side of the table, even as her claws instinctively shuffled the tiles and lined them up into a wall. Octavia looked prim, proper and composed, but her calm demeanor belied a dozen tells. If this was all there was to her, winning this game would be easier than taking pumice from a hatchling. Big if. Only a foolish dragon intentionally underestimated a pony.

She threw a glance at the white unicorn to her side, who was still lost in her music. That and those reflective shades would make her supremely difficult to read. She hoped Spike was up to the task.

She looked over her tiles and had to fight down a victorious smirk. An almost complete claw, qualifying for at least three yaku? That would put her ahead right out the gate! All she needed was a west wind and a 4-Sou. She discarded her unwanted 1-Pin. Spike drew a tile and discarded, turn passed to Octavia and Vinyl without anything interesting, and...

She drew a west wind. Yes! "Reach!" She discarded her last garbage tile. Now she just had to sit back and wait until a 4-Sou appeared, and this early into the round, none had passed. She was practically guaranteed to win--

Octavia grabbed the table with her hooves and threw it into Ember's face.

Ember could only blink in surprise. What the flaming phosphorous...? Being gifted with thick scales, she barely felt the furniture hit her, but...

The tiles scattered all over the floor. My perfect claw! She felt the fire ignite within her - figuratively and literally - and she turned to her opponent. The grey pony stared back at her defiantly, as if challenging her to respond. So be it, pony... Ember thought as she raised her claw...

And was caught in an unbreakable magic grip as a raspberry-red aura surrounded her. Try as she might, she could not break free.

"Thank you, Twilight," Trixie said. "Ember, this is disgraceful. We are sophisticated players, not brutish brawlers," she admonished. "I haven't trained you to lose control like this, now have I?"

"But I had a great claw!" Ember protested. I was going to score a fortune in points!"

"And Octavia knocked over the table on purpose!" Spike added.

"It's no excuse to resort to senseless violence," Trixie retorted. "That said... chombo, Octavia. You'll be penalized twenty-five thousand points." She grabbed several point markers from Octavia's box and distributed them to the others appropriately. "Next round."

"Really? The game just continues after she pulled a stunt like that?" Twilight protested.

Trixie shrugged. "The show must go on. Ember is free to leave the table if she wants, but that counts as a forfeit."

"Yes, let's keep playing," Octavia said.

"But what's to keep her from doing that again?" Twilight protested.

"The fact that she was penalized for half of her points in one fell swoop?" Trixie said. "Beyond that, it's not my job to make anypony play the way I want to. Next round!"





Ember stared at the new tiles in front of her and began playing. None of them were the slightest bit as promising as the ones she had before; at most, she might be able to carve out a few victories, but...

"Tsumo!" Octavia declared.

Bats! Okay, just keep trying and take the opportunities that presented themselves. She should be able to...

"Ron," Octavia said.

Stinking sulphur! No, don't let it get to her, it's just luck, she's not that good, this round...

"Funeral Dirge Mentzen Tsumo," Octavia declared, playing a keening song on her cello.





Ember was on the edge of the pit, figuratively if not literally. She had had some luck at the very beginning, but after the catastrophic cellist crushed that claw, it was as though all of it was gone. She couldn't play, only... lose. And soon enough, she'd lose completely.

"Hang in there," Spike said, taking her claw in his and giving it a squeeze for some incomprehensible reason. 

"The future looks bleak for you, Ember," Trixie said, moving up behind her. "Why is that, you think?"

"I keep getting poor tiles, and she keeps getting good ones," Ember said bitterly.

Trixie sighed in disappointment. "Sure, blame the game. Don't think about the actual lesson here, hmm?"

"What lesson?" Ember asked.

"Not a difficult one," Trixie said. "I did mention it by name. Perhaps you could try to spark a few thoughts that aren't about gathering gold or beating up your foes, and see where it gets you?"

The name... the lesson...

Thinking outside the box.

Of course. Octavia wasn't actually playing that well, but her dirty move at the very start had made a terrible impact on Ember's fighting spirit, forcing her into playing defensively and poorly. Even worse, the act of dominating her like that seemed to escalate Octavia's own mahjong power, playing the right tiles right into her hooves.

It was a terrible cycle. Each victory only served to make Octavia stronger, leading to more victories. And soon, she would win utterly. Unless...

Ember threw a glance at the score board. Just enough... She discarded a red dragon, hoping against hope that her opponent would take the bait.

Octavia grinned predatorily. "Ro--"

Ember threw the table at her. Two can play this game!

Session 27.6 Ardashir

Twilight eventually got her guests to calm down by threatening to bring Celestia and Luna in to deal with them. The Dazzlings gulped and sat tamely in their chairs. Chrysalis sneered, but she sat down as well. 

"This thing isn't going to involve time travel, is it?" Aria asked in a grumpy voice. "Because, like, we totally did that in real life." Adagio and Sonata both nodded agreement. "So it''d be boring to play through it."

"What?" Twilight and Chrysalis both said. They looked at each other. Chrysalis smirked and made a 'go ahead' gesture with one claw. Twilight colored as she said, "You three traveled in time? How?"

"Ah, it was this brown Earth pony with his fancy shed who called himself the Doctor," Adagio said, lightly tossing some of the dice like flipping a coin. "He told us about some race from the future that was driven by hate," Adagio's eyes began to gleam. "So of course we decided to take his Retardus or whatever he called it and went to visit them."

"They looked like big pepper shakers!" Sonata stopped nibbling on a lead figure she'd been given for her character. "They had these plunger arms and said 'Exterminate! Exterminate! Destroy All Life!' all the time. But wow did they ever like it when we sang for them. Hey!"

The lead figure floated out of her reach.

"Don't do that!" Twilight said. "It can poison you. It can kill your brain cells!"

Aria laughed. "Like Sonata has to worry about THAT." 

"It was great," Adagio said. She looked downright wistful as she said, "They said our songs were the first music that ever spoke to their foul, corrupt hearts." She snarled. "And then that jerk Earth pony came with some wall-eyed grey pegasus and sent us back, just in time for us to get beaten by the Princesses and Starswirl and get sent off to Human-land."

"Huh," Chrysalis said. "I thought you three were in some music contest and exiled when Starswirl couldn't out-sing you." She grinned evilly. "AFTER every pony in Canterlot no-sold your 'mighty magic music' by just not liking it." She sniffed and turned to Twilight, ignoring the rising fury in the faces of the sirens. "Seriously, how can these three fish be a threat to anypony when all you have to do to stop them is plug your ears?"

The Dazzlings rose from their side of the table, snarling audibly now.

(OOC: Maybe someone else wants to handle the Dazzlings' response to old Cheeselegs!)

Session 27.7 Mtangalion

"Blimey!" Pipsqueak, the make-believe captain of his merry band of intrepid make-believe space pirates, suddenly found himself in the body of a grown stallion, wearing a badflank red long-coat, with two cutlasses and a plumed pirate hat. "I got big!"

Silver Spoon trotted up beside him. She was wearing a space pirate uniform of her own, and her usual glasses had changed into brass goggles. "If you think that's big, look what happened to Apple Bloom!"

Apple Bloom had been playing the legendary giant star beast, carrying the villains that the space pirates were pursuing, and now she was a yellow and red wolf pup the size of a barn. "Ah'm big?" she growled. She lifted a forepaw, wiggling her clawed toes. "Looks to me like everypony else got tiny!"

"I'm flying!" whooped Scootaloo, now an orange and purple dragon about the size of Dragon Lord Ember. "Not exactly what I had in mind, but I'm flying!"

"Ugh," groaned Diamond Tiara, clearly jealous. "Why didn't I pick the giant star beast? Now I'm just another space pirate with a stupid toy laser blaster." She drew it and pulled the trigger, and a rainbow bolt actually flew out of it, zapping Apple Bloom's flank with no harm done.

Apple Bloom loomed over Diamond, grinning and licking a tongue over her fangs. "Heh, that tickled."

Diamond gulped. "Uh... sorry?"

"I think it's pretty cool!" buzzed Sweetie Belle the platinum changeling queen, casually tossing her pink and purple foil mane. Button Mash and Tender Taps hovered at her left and right, their metal carapaces marking them as members of her changeling techno-swarm. She blinked, looking past Pipsqueak. "Is that what I think it is?"

Their make-believe pirate ship, the Moonpearl, had transformed into an actual floating wooden boat. Dinky and Rumble were steering it, and Pipsqueak's friend Moonlight was riding on the prow. "Discord!" shouted Moonlight, in an imperious voice quite unlike her usual mild and friendly tone. "*Now* you decide to spice up their.... our games?"

And Discord appeared beside her in a flash, wearing a red and black uniform with a gold insignia pin on the chest. "Well, I couldn't do it just any old time," he said, tisking and waggling a claw at her. "It had to be when they least expected it!"

Sweetie flew up and perched on Apple Bloom's back. "I say we have fun with it before Discord changes his mind!"

Diamond grinned. "Or Princess Twilight starts freaking out."

Captain Pipsqueak drew a cutlass, and discovered that it was in fact a cool laser sword. "All in favor say aye!" he shouted, raising the sword high.

"AYE!!!"

They spent the next half hour with Apple Bloom padding in circles around their club house at a lazy stroll, carrying Scootaloo and the changelings on her back, while the Moonpearl and the pirates zoomed after her in "hot pursuit," firing "laser blasts" at each other. The Moonpearl couldn't actually go very fast at all, but the fillies and colts made up for it by rocking the boat and making whoosh! and zoom! noises.



Some distance away, Alisa the Diamond Wolf set a picnic basket down, then froze, watching the enormous wolf pup trot around in the distance. "Eh, Alisa could grow bigger."

Rarity smiled and covered her muzzle, laughing politely. "I'd like to see that."

"Was that sarcasm, or command of the alpha?" Alisa grinned at Rarity, fangs gleaming. "I get those mixed-up."

Session 27.8 Mooncalf99 

"And with that last attack, the 'Wall of Flesh' finally gives up the spirit," Spike the GM declared, shuffling some papers off the table. "Its enormous body, no longer supported by its own magic, ruptures in massively gratuitous sprays of blood before falling off the bridge and burning up in the lava below."

"About darn time," Applejack said with a mixture of annoyance and relief. "Ah was wonderin' if we'd ever get it ta stop. If ah'd known choosin' melee would mean gettin' up close and personal with all those mouths an' tentacles, ah'd picked a ranged option instead."

"Don't remind me," Rarity said, looking a little green around the cheeks. "This game has some definite high points, but… Spike, tell me, are all the bosses so… visceral? First the giant eye, then that multi-segmented worm…"

"The floating disjointed skeleton guarding the dungeon," Twilight suggested.

"Oh, that poor old mare," Fluttershy moaned. "I'm glad she got better, somehow."

"Aheh, sorry," Spike chuckled in embarrassment. "To be fair, I somehow expected you and Fluttershy to sit out the fighting, Rarity. And no, not all of them. This one's just, well…"

"Harrowing?" Twilight suggested. "I'm surprised not more of us died. Did it get faster near the end? Thank goodness for preparation work, I say."

"And you called me crazy for wanting to pave a three-mile stretch of Tartarus," Pinkie Pie laughed. "But who was right in the end?"

Applejack looked at her friend oddly. "Pinkie, nopony called ya crazy fer that. We all went along with it right away, remember?"

Pinkie blinked. "You did?"

"This is you we're talking about, Pinkie," Rainbow said. "You sounded like you knew what you were talking about. Sure, it was a lot of work - for our characters, I mean - but not that much, and it kinda made sense. Clear some space so we'd have room to fight. No problem. Shame about all those spooky ancient obsidian houses we had to knock down, though."

"Well… yes, but…" Pinkie began. She looked lost for words for a moment, then harrumphed. "Fine, rob me of my cliche remark, why don't you?"

"On the upside, all the spooky ancient obsidian furniture we recovered will be great for my collection," Rarity said. "Hmm, maybe a Nightmare Night-themed new wing on the house?"

"Yeah, good point there," Rainbow said. She turned to Spike. "Since we're on the subject of loot… how about some loot?"

"Oh, right," Spike said, reminded that he had a job to do. "As the beast is utterly destroyed, spirits of light and darkness are released from its body…"

"Cool story, but where's the loot?" Rainbow interrupted.

"Wait a second, Rainbow," Twilight said. "This sounds plot-relevant. Spirits of light and darkness?"

"Released into the wo--" Spike began.

Rainbow Dash thumped a hoof on the table. "Loot!"

"Fine!" Spike barked. He threw a clawful of dice across the table. "Here's your loot! It's all sealed inside a perfect cube of Demonite, currently bobbing in the lava. Happy fishing."

"Ah make sure mah Lavawalkin' Boots are on tight an' leap down," Applejack said. "A Molten Pickaxe c'n
break Demonite, right?"

Spike nodded. "You find… five healing potions, a sword twice as long as yourself, a sorcerer emblem, a 'Wall of Flesh' trophy, the Pwnhammer, and eight gold coins."

"Dibs on the hammer!" Rainbow shouted.

"Aren't you a gun user?" Fluttershy asked dubiously.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "It just sounds cool, and it's got a 'the' in the name. I'm still sticking with my Minishark for fighting, but I want that thing for style."

"How good is it, anyway?" Applejack asked. "An' is the big sword an improvement on mah current one? Might wanna trade up."

"The Pwnhammer's primarily a tool, so it's not exceptional as a weapon," Spike said, having read up on this beforehand. "It's main strength is to demolish things of great evil."

"Things of great evil, huh?" Rainbow mused. "Pinkie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

Pinkie grinned. "I think so, Dashie, but where are we gonna find enough crabs to power a whole trap farm?"

"And the Breaker Blade does slightly less damage than the Night's Edge, but has almost double the knockback," Spike finished. "It's your pick."

"Guess I'll try it out for a while, make up mah mind," Applejack said. "Ah use mah grapple hook ta get back ta the bridge."

"Girls, we need to get back to the surface," Twilight said. "I think the plot took a big twist when we killed the Wall and things changed. Oh, and I guess I'll take that emblem, since it boosts magic damage, right?"

"Yeah, sure, let's go home," Rainbow said. "I grab my new hammer and head for the Tartavator. See ya!"

"Yeah, see ya!" Pinkie chimed in. "Tartavator: when you're so desperate to go to Tartarus, you'll dig a bottomless pit in your backyard. Ooh, but instead of climbing the rope, I'm drinking a gravitation potion and fall upwards the whole way!"

"Won't you get crushed when you reach the top, though?" Fluttershy asked. "Or fall into the sky?"

"Naah, I coated the ceiling of the 'vator room with bouncy pink gel blocks, in case of reverse falling emergencies," Pinkie said. "Whee!"

"...I could just have teleported us all," Twilight said. "Oh well. Ready, girls?"

"As always," Applejack said.

"I guess I add the rest of the loot to our supplies," Rarity muttered. "At least we made some serious money this time. Is it too much to hope that the trophy is at least somewhat tasteful?"

"Depends on how you define 'tasteful', since it's one of its tongues," Spike said.

Rarity grimaced. "Lovely. Well, Rainbow's room could always use more decoration…"





"So I know there was one of those creepy altar things near the Tartavator shaft somewhere around the underground layer," Rainbow said. "Do I find it?"

"Its evil aura is unmistakable," Spike said. "You quickly find yourself before the spiked surface of the demon altar. The same one that nearly killed you when you tried to smash it with a regular hammer, actually."

"Good, because vengeance always feels extra good. Do I need to roll?" she asked.

"No, you smash it into dust with a single blow of the awesome Pwnhammer," he said. "You feel as though a great evil has been purged. The world is now blessed with palladium."

"That's… good?" Rainbow asked. She had no idea what that was, but new metals usually meant new weapons and armor.

"However, a seed of Corruption has sprouted somewhere in the world," he continued.

"That's… bad," she observed.

"You feel that your clumsy tampering with the cosmic forces has caused an unbalance, and great evils will now seek you out in retaliation," he continued.

"That's… how I roll in most games anyway," she said with a shrug.

"Also, there will now be a small chance of pirate invasion every day," he finished.

"And that's… awesome," she said. "Okay, I return to the surface now."

"Let me just grab a frogurt from the kitchen and we'll join up with the others," he said.





"Okay, for simplicity's sake, I'm gonna assume you all return at the same time," Spike said. "So you find yourselves back at the sprawling mansion/fortress of Harmony. It's late evening, and the air is thick with leaves as the Deer is doing his protective magic. A horde of zomponies are approaching from the west, bringing with them a horrible stench of the grave." He checked his notes. "And they all fall into the big pit Applejack dug earlier."

"Home defense one-oh-one," Applejack said proudly. "Ah grab a bucket o' lava from the storage and pour it on them."

"They scream and writhe in dimly comprehended agony and rage as the lava burns their flesh," Spike described. "After several long seconds, the last one finally gives up the ghost."

"Gosh, but this never gets old, does it?" Applejack said happily. "Ah'd worry fer meself if they weren't unnatural undead abominations. Okay, ah pour a bucket o' water on the lava, an' then I go down and dig out the loot."

"You know, we could set up a few pumps and connect them to the reservoirs, and then you could do all that just by pressing a button," Twilight suggested.

Applejack shook her head. "Mebbe if I get ta do the wiring, but… last time you tried that, ya flooded the house, an' that was just water. Ah don't wanna see ya do the same with lava."

"I'm pretty sure I know what I did wrong that time…" Twilight muttered. "Never mind. Are our townsponies all right?"

"They're cooped up in their rooms for the night as usual," Spike said. "Although the Demolitionist has decided that he wants to live in Pinkie's room for some reason."

"Ooh, a roomie!" Pinkie squealed. "He can stay, I don't mind. I need to restock on bombs anyway."

"And the Princess?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Still dead," Spike said dismissively. "You did throw her voodoo doll into lava, after all."

"I thought it was symbolical," Twilight said defensively. "Zecora has told me that voodoo doesn't work that way."

"I think she knew all along," Fluttershy said reassuringly. "She was the one who told us to go to Tartarus, after all. I'm sure she'll respawn eventually. Speaking of which, I've respawned too, right?"

"Yeah, right after you got killed earlier, actually," Spike said. "Sorry about that, by the way, but I did say trying to flee while under the Horror debuff would be very bad."

"It's okay, my character would be too afraid to reason rationally," Fluttershy said. "I guess I've been grooming my giant bee mount all this time."

"You don't actually have to do that, Fluttershy," Twilight said. "Mounts are magically summoned constructs. They don't need to be cared for."

"I know, but it's the least I could do after we killed its mommy," Fluttershy said. She looked at Rainbow Dash. "Which I'm still a bit peeved about."

Somewhere else, a pony gasped in horror and covered her child's ears.

"Hey, hey, she attacked us first!" Rainbow protested. "And I was up to my eyebrows in a giant pool of honey at the time. How the hay was I supposed to know there was a larva pod there and smashing it would summon the queen bee? Besides, you took all the loot."

"You have to admit, though, a gun that fires bees suit her pretty well," Pinkie said. "Now we just gotta make you some bee-themed armor and the look will be complete."

"Ooh, idea!" Rarity cried. "I'll just head to the forge for a bit. Inspiration calling!"

"I go ask the Deer about the whole thing with the released spirits," Twilight said. "Is he still casting protective magic?"

"No, he stopped when Applejack killed off the zomponies," Spike said. "He confirms your suspicions, though. He says that the destruction of the Wall has unbalanced the world, and the Corruption has grown to alarming levels. Also, it can now spread through rock, and the jungle grounds."

"Okay, that's very, very bad," Twilight said. "Can we fight it somehow? Contain it? Is he still selling purifying powder?"

"Of course, although it might not be effective enough anymore," Spike said. "But not all is lost, he says. A force of great light has also been released; the Hallow, the antithesis of the Corruption. Even now, it grows to combat the evil."

"Well, that's good," Fluttershy said. "I guess we don't have anything to worry about then."

"I'm not so sure about that, Flutters," Rainbow Dash said. "This guy's got some skewed priorities. I wanna check it out myself before we decide anything. Besides, what does he know? All he does is sit in his room all day and twiddle his hooves."

"We should check it out anyway," Twilight said. "I buy ten more bags of purifying powder, just in case."

"I want to expand the town housing situation, in case we pick up any new NPCs," Rarity said. "Maybe rebuild our own rooms a little, personalize them a little."

"Ooh, can you rebuild my room with nothing but bouncy pink gel blocks, please, so my roomie and I can bounce around?" Pinkie asked.

"Yes, because you asked nicely," Rarity said. "Any other requests?"

"Can I have a few hoiks in my room, too?" Pinkie ventured.

"No, those are cheating," Rarity said.

"But they have developer support!" Pinkie protested.

"Glitch abuse is still wrong, Pinkie," Rarity said sternly.

"Maybe we should set up house somewhere else," Applejack said. "Tha Corruption's purty close, an' if it spreads inta the ground here, things're gonna get real dangerous."

"I can take 'em," Rainbow said boldly. "But now that I'm thinking about it… how 'bout a cloud base? We'll be safe there. Long as we put up fences so our townsponies don't fall off."

"I've been itching to use all the marble we mined before," Rarity enthused. "The aesthetics would be to die for. The only problem is that we're running low on cloud, because somepony keeps using it for vanity projects."

"I guess I could take down a few and still feel awesome…" Rainbow mumbled.

"So what are you going to do?" Spike asked. "Go exploring, or build another base?"

"I'm going to scout out a new location, and I'm going to need pegasus assistance," Rarity said.

"Sure, I'll go with you," Rainbow said. "Gotta make sure our new sky fortress will be as awesome as it can be."

"I want to explore the Hallow," Twilight said. "If the Deer is right, it might be a better choice for a safe haven. Easier to access, too."

"I want to go too," Fluttershy said. "It sounds nice."

"I wanna go three!" Pinkie exclaimed enthusiastically. "I bet we can find cool stuff there!"

"Yeah, ah'll go along too," Applejack said. "Rares knows enough about house buildin' that ah don't need to help. Jus' leave plenty o' space fer mah projects."

"I'll be sure to make room for the lava reservoir," Rarity said, rolling her eyes. "And venting procedures."

"That's mah girl," Applejack said. "So, got our weapons an' armor?"

"I finished Fluttershy's bee armor," Rarity said, "so she can look like a bee while she rides a bee and shoots bees at her foes. Don't let it be said I can't follow a theme."

"Thank you," Fluttershy said, feeling a little self-conscious. "Um, the rest of you have armor too, right?"

"Anythin' tough enough ta fight a boss should still do fine, thanks," Applejack said.

"Let's just get going," Twilight said. "We did build a rail line in that direction, so we should be able to cover some of the distance fairly quickly."

"Yay, minecart ride! I get to drive!" Pinkie cheered. "By the way, I rearranged the rails so they dip into a vat of honey on the way."

"...Why in tarnation would you do that?" Applejack asked.

Pinkie shrugged. "Heal buff?"

"Now I'm very glad I'm not going," Rarity muttered.





"After a quick and mostly uneventful ride through familiar territory…" Spike began.

"During which I stand up and wave my hooves in the air like I just don't care," Pinkie interjected.

"...and during which you run over no less than four slimes, two zombies and an animated armor, giving Pinkie a faceful of gibbage each time…" he continued.

"Bleh, that's less fun," Pinkie said, making a disgusted face. "I make sure to collect the slime for later. Animated armor? We haven't met those before."

"They're new," Spike explained. "Not tough enough to stand up to getting hit with a full-speed minecart, though."

"We try to match Fluttershy's pace, though," Twilight said. "How fast is her mount?"

"Eh, a bit slower than your cart's top speed, but not much," Spike said. "Anyway, you enter the Hallow, which you're pretty certain used to be just an ordinary forest before. Everything is… prettier here, with bluish-tinted grass, pearl-like stone, trees in various pastel colors, and far more rainbows than you're used to seeing. Sparkly lights flitter through the air, and you can almost hear the air chime and tingle."

"Ah feel like ah'm in a six-year old filly's trapper keeper," Applejack said.

"An elf with pale skin, long, pointy ears and long fingers peek out from the trees," Spike continued. "He's sparkly with magic, and starts to approach."

"Oh, how nice!" Fluttershy giggled. "I try to talk to him. Um, hi there. Is this your home?"

"Better be careful," Applejack warned. "I disembark an' move up behind Fluttershy."

"The elf smiles, baring his many sharp teeth and readying his claws," Spike said. "As soon as you're close enough, he claws at you for… thirty damage."

"Eek! Bad elf!" Fluttershy squeaked. "I back off and take to the air."

"More elves crawl out of the woodwork, and the sparkly lights reveal themselves to be pixies, which descend on you en masse," Spike said. "You're very surrounded."

"Well, we all saw that comin'," Applejack said. "Ah draw mah blade an' attack. Still think this is a good neighbourhood ta live in, Twi?"

"I guess the light isn't good after all," Twilight said with a sigh. "Change of plans, girls. We fight everything that's hostile, then we purify everything else."

"Everything?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight nodded with determination. "Everything."

(Author's note: Terraria is a very strange game.)

Session 27.9 Mtangalion


Rainbow Dash breezed into the Carousel Boutique, banging the door open, knocking the door bell off the wall, and bringing an impressive gust of wind with her. "Hey, Rares!" She held out a bundle of blue and yellow cloth. "I got a rip in my suit while I was practicing one of my awesome new stunts, and I was wondering if you could fix it before practice today."

"You're fortunate that I have a light workload this morning, Rainbow," said Rarity's velvety-smooth voice... coming from a white wolf with blue eyes, long eyelashes, and a fabulously styled royal purple mane.

Rainbow froze, gawking. "R- Rarity?"

The wolf put on Rarity's glasses with an agile paw. "Oh, Alisa, if you could..."

A unicorn stepped out of the back room. "Of course, mistress! Alisa is always being happy to serve." She had a white coat with grey sock-hooves and a matching wild grey mane. Golden eyes sparkled mischievously. Her cutie mark was an eye-twisting box shape that Twilight would have identified as a Neigh-scher cube.

Alisa the unicorn used her magic to lift the Wonderbolt uniform, spreading it out so Rarity the wolf could inspect it critically. "While I can't promise to have it ready in ten seconds flat," said Rarity, "a few minutes should more than suffice."

Rainbow's whole face lit up. "Rarity, that is so cool! How did you do that?"

Rarity glanced up at her, seeming puzzled. "How did I do what, darling?"

Rainbow groaned. "Don't play dumb. How'd you turn into a wolf? And turn Alisa into a pony!?"

"Oh." Rarity gave Alisa a knowing smirk, and Alisa winked back at her. "A mare never tells," said Rarity.

Rainbow twitched. "What's that supposed to mean!?"



"I've always wished that I could turn into animals," confessed Fluttershy, as Rarity stitched up Angel Bunny's 'favorite' bib... which he'd clawed up yet again. "Just to see what it's like. Oh! Not that I'm implying that Diamond Wolves are animals like bunnies or bears. It's just that you look so cute and fluffy as a wolf." Fluttershy gasped, putting a hoof over her mouth. "I didn't mean to say that."

Alisa trotted over, hooves clopping lightly on the Boutique's floor. "Does Alisa look cute and fluffy as a wolf too?" She grinned sharply. "You never said before."

Fluttershy mumbled inaudibly and blushed.

"Alisa would be happy to snuggle with Miss Fluttershy when she is a wolf again!" said Alisa brightly. "If Mistress Rarity approves, of course."

Fluttershy meeped, backing towards the door. "I... have to go! I'll pick up the bib later, thanks, bye bye!"



Big Mac stared at Rarity and Alisa, speechless.

"Big Macintosh, good afternoon!" growled Rarity warmly. "I assume you're here to pick up your suit for the big date?"

Big Mac drew in a deep breath, then apparently decided that it wasn't worth it. "Eeyup."



The door to the Boutique opened again, jingling the bell that Rainbow Dash had knocked loose, and Alisa had just finished repairing. "So!" said Trixie, flourishing her cape as she trotted inside. "Trixie hears that some pony and wolf have been playing quite the trick on Ponyville!"

"I... I beg your pardon?" said Rarity.

Alisa tisked. "Perhaps showpony has been performing in hot sun too long." She fetched a bowl of water and a washcloth with her magic. "Alisa and kind Mistress can help!"

Trixie stared at them intently, then grinned. "Aha! I knew it was impossible!" She pointed a hoof at Rarity the wolf. "You are Alisa." Then she pointed at 'Alisa' the unicorn. "And you are Rarity! You dyed your coats and you're doing impressions of each other!"

Alisa and Rarity shrugged at each other, then burst out laughing. Alisa grinned toothily. "As always, well played, Mistress." She counted twenty bits into her paw and held them out to Rarity. "You win this time."

Trixie watched, curious. "That's what this was all about?  You made a bet on whether we'd all be fooled?"

Rarity nodded. "I suppose I feel a bit guilty about deceiving my friends," she admitted. "But it was delightfully naughty at the same time." She poked Alisa with a hoof. "You're a bad influence."

Alisa bowed and wagged her tail. "Mistress is too kind."