Twilight looked over the mass of fur and scales breathing steadily in front of her. He was mumbling to himself, but still very much asleep and exhausted. Discord had come to her in a stallion form that she had assumed was him to begin with, or after thorough researching, and had collapsed on the ground as soon as they had come through the portal he created. It wasn’t very comforting to have her chaotic friend who seemed to be able to do anything, seem so helpless as to fall limp on his own living room floor, or what seemed to be the living room.
Twilight looked around at the walls and floorboards, the magic sending the surroundings spiraling, literally, out of control. The walls changed color every so often and the floors became three different types of carpet in half that time. She had come here once before for a tea party with Discord and Fluttershy, but he had altered his pocket universe for a more suitable environment, mostly to ensure Fluttershy wouldn’t vomit when she walked in.
The lavender alicorn’s brow furrowed at that thought.
It was all for her wasn’t it? You changed for her. But...why?
The princess knew all too well about Fluttershy’s feelings, but knew nothing of Discord’s, he’d rather not share in all his honesty. It would be nice to know what went on in his head, however, at the moment, or the last fifteen minutes or so, he would be having a dialogue with himself or some entity only he could hear.
Discord scrunched up, hugging himself as if cold. He had paused in his mumbling and shook a bit, but it wasn’t long before his muttering continued.
How much longer is he going to keep this up? Twilight thought, grabbing a patchwork blanket from one of the couches in the room. It was stitched differently, and was a dark bluish green and red, but wasn’t of significance to Twilight until she put it on her friend’s back and saw the embroidered name labeled on the corner.
Cordwood. Stitched in red.
Him? He’s the Cordwood from the records? Or possibly has connections with them. I have to know who this somepony is. But, what if it’s Discord? How could that possible? Discord would never be labeled as an “Instructor” or able to teach anypony for that matter. He doesn’t even like foals! I think... I assume... Unless...he wasn’t always like…
Discord moved over to his other side, his face now visible to Twilight. He didn’t open his eyes, but the blanket from his back touched his nose, making him sniff at it a bit. It was comical to watch her chaotic friend be innocent, the alicorn smiled down at her friend once again. He sniffed, and then burrowed his head into the blanket coiling underneath it, now snoring loudly.
Twilight couldn’t suppress the giggle, he looked like a rock...and slept like one too! She wasn’t so concerned for him as she had been until he started mumbling again. It was becoming quite troublesome, even for him.
Discord tightened his eyelids and hugged the blanket tightly, it was comfy and familiar.
Nothing like our stone prison.
I agree, but enough of the rabbit trails. We need to figure out what’s happening with my magic.
It’s strange, our magic has never consumed like this before. It must have been that spell!
I see, me using that spell really corrupted my magic.
Our magic.
Whatever. The point is, is that the spell has made me consume the life out of other magic to make up for what I lost.
But why would it do that?
Hm. Because...my body needs it to carry out the spell keeping it within me and to contain the amount of energy surging through it. If I haven’t been getting the necessary amount of energy, my body will start to tear apart and the magic will find some other host...I can’t have that.
We are getting rather tired of this...we do wish we could be Cordwood again.
Haha! Of course not...you remember what happened. I was cursed to look like this...and the magic was my own mistake. If the magic leaves I die, and the magic will be flying around in the airs till somepony stupid enough discovers how to use it...again.
Oh, please, don’t give us so much credit. We weren’t that intelligent.
Pretty darn intelligent, mind you. I was the one who discovered how to wield the magic of a chimera, and it was my downfall, but I learned nonetheless.
Well then, we can see we’re clearly upset. But, this is no time for guilt tripping, my friend. What happened to us is the past results of sorrow and shouldn’t be renewed. We have to fix this.
I agree, though something is off.
What might that be?
…
You're leaving me in the dark here.
You.
Yes?
How am I talking to you?
That? That is what you should be asking?
Discord grunted and moved over almost hitting Twilight with his tail. He burrowed his snout more into his blanket and whimpered.
Aggggggh! Why?! Why in the Tartarus are you here!
It’s our fault sunshine...like you said our body is tearing apart…
This is not what I meant! You're my conscious! You're not supposed to be able to talk to me! Agggggggh!
Just breath, my friend, we can fix this-
How! The last time you were here I was imprisoned and being reformed! I’m reformed now! You shouldn't be here!
The magic is tearing our conscious apart into separate pieces like the first time we obtained it. The spell must be reversing the process.
Aggggggh!
I know, I know...why us? Right?
Why us?! Why me! That’s the problem!
I am you.
Yes, but your my mushy gushy side, you're supposed to be in my right brain and not talking to me! Fluttershy already fixed this, remember?!
How can we forget our marefriend? We loved her even before we knew the little lass.
No...you did...I didn’t...well...till now, I guess, it’s more of just an attraction. I don’t think I even consider her my mate.
Awww~
Sigh, shut up.
But, she was the one that brought us together again! Oh, how we loved that moment!
Sigh…
We were being our usual grumpy self...then she gave us feels and we fused together again! That has got to be our favorite moment. And you know why it happened?
Please, do enlighten me before I strangle you with your own interdimensional intestine.
Because! She’s our soul mate, ever since we came to her house to learn about her element and we were crushed by her closet of stuffed animals!
Groan.
Oh, come now! She’s obviously the one to fix this!
Hm?
She did it before! Why can’t she do it again?
Gasp! Your right! She can fix me!
Now we’re gettin’ it!
Twilight eyed a crack in the wall. It seemed to be moving with the patterns on the flakes of ever changing paint, then growing larger. The paint around the edges turning grey and lifeless. While it seemed strange, it wasn’t as strange as the feeling of the ground and walls vibrating.
“Oh no…”
She won’t want to talk to me again after I tell her!
She loves us! Why would she do that!
Because I lied!
Oh please, we’ve done much worse.
…
What?
What if she never wants to be with me?
Here we go…
She doesn't want somepony like me...she’ll grow tired of me.
This again? This is why we changed, isn’t it?
…
Don’t lie, I was there.
Possibly.
“Comfortable” has too many meanings to us, doesn’t it?
Perhaps. I just didn’t want her to leave because I-
The mind’s blackness felt funny, and cold.
Oh my, it seems our thoughts have reached the outside world.
That’s not good.
Discord felt shaken, literally, moving back forth.
Time to wake up!
“Discord! Discord please-” Twilight shook the draconequus violently on the shoulder. The walls of his home were shaking, and their bodies moved across the floor a little. The house was falling. The alicorn was becoming teary eyed, not only was her friend seemingly unconscious and sick, but she couldn’t use her magic for some reason. Everytime she tried to use a spell something seemed to block it. She cried heavily. “Discord, please, wake up! Help us! Disc-” The Lord of Chaos got up slightly and opened his eyes, abnormally one at a time, as if a bright light hit him in the face.
“W-What’s-”
“Discord!” Twilight grabbed his neck and held tight, she was obviously terrified. Discord looked out at one of the windows and saw his world falling. Every little piece of gravity defying rock, falling to a now hard ground below them. The scenery was now like a box and was grey on each wall going on for an endless amount of space.
“Celestia help.”
“Get us out of here! Please!” They were falling too. Discord grabbed his friend and threw her up landing on his back. He spread out his wings, getting a surge of pain and a yelp almost like a weak dog. “Di-” Twilight looked up in concern.
“Don’t worry I’ll get us out of here.” Discord flew up and glided on the air flying off the ground. He looked toward the door and spiraled through, leaving his belongings behind, including an old blanket. He looked out at his universe being destroyed.
What have we done?
“Discord, I’m so sorry about your-”
“It’s nothing...just something I made for my own amusement…”
“But what about your-”
“Later, now-agh!” Discord grabbed his shoulder.
That’s not good. We should stop flying...we’re holding together by our strength alone at the moment.
You're right.
“Discord?! What wrong?!”
Something was then coming straight for them, a giant piece of earth. Discord widened his eyes and banked a left to avoid collision. Twilight “eeeked!” and hid her face in her friend's neck fluff. “Hang on!” Discord avoided several more obstacles and tried his best to not skin his wings. Metal and wood fell from both small and large islands that once made up the kingdom of Discord. Now nothing more than a fallen world remained.
“I need you to make a portal to your castle! I can’t fly for much longer...I don’t have much time!” Twilight looked over at Discord is surprise at his request, and his statement.
“What?! Are you-”
“Get us out of here, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know!” Discord flew up and landed, or hung, from a black ceiling.
Twilight looked down at the rubble collecting and the trees dying, withering up. Would Discord turn out like that, is he dying? What does he mean, “not much time?”?! He can’t be dying! Not him!
He said he would tell her everything, but she couldn’t use her magic.
We’re screwed!
“I can’t use my magic!” She screamed, the wind and noise of rocks becoming louder than their thoughts. “Something is blocking it!”
“No, nothing is blocking it, it’s me. My body is trying to take all the energy around us, and it’s making it more difficult to use it, but-”
We can give her some of ours, only a little, if we give too much we’ll most likely pass out. Just enough to get us out of here.
Discord reached his paw behind him and flexed his toes outward toward Twilight, releasing energy for her to use. Twilight’s horn glowed automatically, giving Discord his cue to let go of the ceiling.
Twilight screamed. “You’re crazy!”
“I know!” Discord smirked, now falling through the air along with all the other debris. Twilight had no choice, she sparked magic light from her horn and created a small portal underneath them, just big enough for two. The draconequus and alicorn fell through, with Discord’s face hitting the crystal floor, hard.
Nice landing!
Shut up, Cordwood.
It’s Discord to you.
No, it’s all the same thing to me.
“This is by far the most stupid thing you’ve done so far.” Twilight heaved and rolled over on her wings, staring at the library ceiling with a new appreciation.
“Glad you're keeping a record.” He smiled oddly, he started gasping then as he silently screamed at the pain in his back.
“Dis-”
“No, stop!” Discord held out his paw to stop her. He slowly closed his wings and let out a sigh of relief. Why was he so...weak? “I need you to do something for me.”
“W-What is it?” The alicorn stuttered at the sudden attention.
“Hit me with a memory spell. I need to think properly, and I can’t if he’s broken off from me.” He pointed at his head.
Are we sure?
I know that it’s dangerous, and Star Swirl was the only one to do it successfully, but I trust her.
That’s not what we meant, Discord. If we do this we might make the process progress faster.
I can’t concentrate while you're stuck in my brain like this, and I need Twi’s help, having a broken piece floating around isn’t good. Besides, it will take less energy for you to be out than in. And, once you're out, we can be put back together properly...again.
What about-
It’s final, I need the real me right now, no more games.
Finally.
“What! I can’t-”
“I need you to. I need the real me out, and then put back in, we work better that way...since I’m tearing apart.”
“What?!” Twilight looked at him shocked, her mouth agape. What was he talking about? His true self? Tearing apart?!
“Look, the spell I cast is taking a lot of my energy...because I don’t have enough to supply and I don’t know of a reverse spell, my body is consuming energy around it. Because of my losing so much magic I don’t have control over my own thoughts, and my chaotic magic is tearing me apart from not being contained properly. Now that I’m in two pieces my, um, other side is taking up space...and I can’t put myself back together again until he’s out completely...like a reboot. But, I need him out first.” Discord said it all so fast but clear, scaring Twilight. He had his face in his paws for the longest time, until Twilight let out a sniff. “Why are you-”
“W-What do you mean tearing apart!” She cried. How could her friend keep this a secret for so long? Why didn’t he tell any of his friends? That he was hurt…
Especially a certain pegasus.
“Sniff, W-why would you lie to us...Why would you lie to Fluttershy? How could you keep your pain a secret! You could die for pony’s sake and you didn’t tell anyone! Are we not that important to you?!”
“No, I just...was being irresponsible, as usual. I wanted to be...different, and then maybe you all, especially Fluttershy, wouldn’t grow tired of me. Me and my games...my appearance, I thought...I just-just- wanted...to be normal.” Discord hunched over and grabbed his stomach.
Don’t show. Don’t show. Don’t show.
“I’ve never been normal. I-I’ve never been accepted completely. I just didn’t want her to leave…” Discord lifted his ears and widened his eyes.
Did I just say that? Great.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight walked up to Discord and looked at him, his eyes were glossy, but he was too stubborn to let a drop fall. She lifted her hoof and set it on his arm, still looking up at him, now with a tender smile. “You love her...don’t you?”
“I-I don’t...know. That’s actually why I came to you, or was, until I collapsed.”
“Me? What would you want to know?”
“What-what I was feeling, what it is. I’m not sure if it’s love but-”
“That my friend, is denial.” She smirked at him, then gave him a hug. “You do love her, and if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have gone through so much trouble to be accepted by her. Even if you already were.” Twilight took her spot back on the ground and looked at the draconequus that looked at her with wide eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’m no Princess Cadence, but, I think you were already accepted a long time ago by our friend. You risked so much for her since you’ve known her, and it was all because you wanted her to stay...since day one.”
“Yes, but, is this the, um, romantic kind of love?”
Twilight laughed out loud and wiped her tears that had been left, it took Discord by surprise.
“I don’t know...what do you think? How does she make you feel?”
“Ugh, my feelings?”
“If it helps, tell me how you feel and I’ll cast my memory spell.” Discord looked at her for a moment and blushed crimson, his thoughts and memories racing before his eyes, so much to say.
“She makes me feel...weird. A-and she’s pretty, and kind, and is always good to me. She’s funny and enjoys my company and she kissed me and-” He covered his mouth blushing further, but his horror at relaying that last line was unmistakable.
Crap.
Cat’s out of the bag now!
Shut up.
“She did what now?” Twilight smiled at him mischievously, she was most definitely going to use that against him one day.
“W-we may have kissed a few times...and I may have possibly saved her at some point...and perhaps confused a chimera that she was my mate to save her…”
“I have one last question for you.” The draconequus looked at his friend that was trying too hard to suppress a smirk.
“What is it?”
“Did you enjoy it? Do you want to do it all over again? Do you like it when she does this to you?”
Discord thought for a moment. His eyes glued to the floor.
That’s a brain teaser isn’t it?
I don’t know...how, but she got me thinking about my feelings.
And…
I’m not sure...I’ll have to think about it later...I can’t love Fluttershy...I’m-
“I’m not good enough…” Discord said outloud, Twilight laughing a little, it made Discord angry. “It’s not funny, I’m not good enough to be her mate-”
“Mate?”
Groan.
“Yes, it’s different with chimera, we have immortal mates...if she’s the one, then I grant her immortality with a monster...I can’t do that to her.” Twilight understood now. Why Discord changed. Not because he wanted Fluttershy to open up more to him...but so she saw more than his distortion.
“Is that really what you think?” Twilight said still smiling sincerely. Discord looked up from the floor and saw his friend once again being reassuring.
She really is the Princess of Friendship isn’t she?
“Discord, you're not a monster. You just look different. And your magic...it creates balance, you don’t destroy, you help.”
“Yeah, some help it’s been.” He retorted, turning to face the other direction to oppose his friend’s thoughts.
“Discord, Fluttershy doesn’t care about that...She loves you for you.” Discord turned back at her quickly.
“What?”
“I’m not saying anything more. It’s not my right, Fluttershy’s, to tell you. But, I have to give a piece of advice. Acceptance. You need to accept who you are now, and accept how you feel. You need to love yourself.” Discord looked at her for a long moment, his mouth open to speak, but nothing came from it. His ears were drooping and his eyes were wide.
She’s right you know.
How?
We can’t love others without loving yourself.
“I’ll cast the spell now. That’s all I had to tell you.” Twilight took a step back and looked at the Lord of Chaos with a determined brow. This memory spell was different than the other one she had done before. This particular spell would bring a memory to life, a connection between a brain and a host, it was a spell Star Swirl had created.
“This spell is different, you have to make what’s in here,” He touched his temple. “...come out as an apparition for us to see, you and I being the only ones to see him. The caster and the host. It’s something Star Swirl had created, and it’s very difficult.”
“That’s reassuring. But, I think I can do it.”
“Make sure the connection between me and my conscious doesn’t break, if it does...my magic will tear apart...so, please...keep it together.” He smiles at his own joke, making Twilight laugh slightly in spite of her nerves, then she resumed with her concentration. It proved extremely tedious, but the alicorn was strong enough. Her horn glowed brightly, and she moved herself into a balanced stance, with her wings spread. The swirl of magic came through her and hit Discord in the head, making him freeze. It was pink, and smokey, and the walls weren’t visible for a few seconds ‘till Discord walked out from the clouds. He looked at her with a grumpy sort of face then, opening his mouth, he sneezed.
“Cold!” He shivered in a crouch position. That wasn’t Discord. He looked different, but similar. He was transparent too, like a ghost. Twilight looked at him momentarily with her mouth agape and shocked eyes. What had she done? “Oh, thank you ever so much, but we would oh so love to go back as soon as we see our dear marefriend.” He said looking out for his counterpart. “It’s strange we haven’t been torn like this since we first received our magic, right, my friend?”
Discord came through the clouds of smoke on all fours and was hunched over, he looked tired. He viewed over at Twilight and smiled slightly, then shook like a wet dog. “Ugh, I hate this empty feeling!”
“You said it, we feel so cold, the wind is practically going right through us.” Discord’s counterpart smirked.
“Snort.” Twilight covered her snout, afraid it wasn’t appropriate to laugh at the moment.
“Good, we’ve still got it!”
“Always have, but I’d like you back where you belong, we need to figure out how to do that...and I think Fluttershy will know what to do. Twilight,” Discord that was more familiar to her looked down at her and smiled. “We need your help too.”
The strange Discord looking counterpart came forward on his fours. He was the same color as Discord the Chimera, but instead of different animals making his body up, he had limbs and a tail that of a green dragon, and wings that were look alikes to Discord’s bat wing. This was Cordwood. Discord is Cordwood. This is what he looked like before he was a chimera, he was an actual draconequus. But now it was a broken piece of Discord that needed to be put back, and he needed his friends to help him rewrite his mistakes.
Twilight looked at the Discord’s and became a pentacle of determination.
“How can I help?”
Spike ran up to the door of a cottage on the outskirts of Ponyville. It was a slow trip, but he got there as soon as the rain began to lighten up, and the sky was just a starless, misty night. He was breathing heavily, seeing Cordwood so sick was enough to scare the young drake. He was just hoping that he wasn’t too late.
Knock; knock.
“Fluttershy?” The young dragon’s deep voice called out when he received no answer. He then proceeded to knock on the door and only stopped when he heard the hoof steps gallop down the stairs. The door swung open and the pegasus stood in the light of a fireplace, the light dancing on her back and glossy pink mane. The living room was a mess and had a bunch of objects scattered across the floor, almost like the first time Discord had come to stay.
“A-Are you here because of the earthquake?”
“Earthquake?” Spike looked at her confused, then his eyes widened. What had happened? he wondered. “I came here to tell you about Cordwood…”
“Oh, did something happen?! Is he alright?!” Fluttershy threw her hooves on the dragon's shoulders and shook him lightly. That was new.
“Well, Twilight told me to tell you that he was fine, but…”
“Twilight? What happened?!”
“Cordwood ran into us on the way to your cottage and he collapsed. The last I saw was them going through one of Discord’s portals as I was coming to see you.”
“Discord...w-why would…”
“Fluttershy, I think there’s something I have to tell you...Cordwood isn’t who you think he is.”
Fluttershy looked up at the grown dragon and teared up, then ran up stairs.
“Come on, Spike!” Spike followed her up the stairs with a furrowed, scaly brow.
“W-where are we going?”
“To find the truth.” Fluttershy galloped in her guest bedroom where Discord would often sleep when he was over. She came to the closet and opened it to reveal a swirling purple mass of energy.
“What is-”
“It’s a portal to Discord's dimension...he put it here for whenever I needed him.” She turned to the drake, the wind from the portal blowing her hair as if a breeze was coming through. “I don’t know why but...my house started to shake and this portal was trying to close on itself...it stopped shortly before you got here. I think Discord could be hurt.”
“But, don’t you want to know about Cordwood?” Spike waited, the silence getting heavy in the room. Finally, Fluttershy took a shaky breath.
“You said...Cordwood isn’t who I think he is…” Fluttershy looked out at the portal and teared up slightly. “I should’ve known all along.”
Fluttershy stepped through, Spike trying to pull her back but missed her tail. “Wait! We don’t know if it’s safe!” Fluttershy poked her head back out for a moment and stared at the dragon with a determined shimmer in her eye.
“I’m the most skittish out of our whole group of friends...and here I am jumping space to make sure my friend is safe…”
Spike looked at her for a moment, shocked and a little awed. Then his expression changed, and he was standing at her side.
“Alright. Let’s go.”
The Dragon and pegasus took their steps through the portal and saw Discord’s world. It was white, empty...and cold.
“I-I-It’s s-s-s-so c-c-cold…” Fluttershy looked at the shivering dragon who was now trying to breath fire into his claws for what warmth it could provide. She turned her attention back to the blank space before her, before she caught sight of a pile of rubble.
“Discord!” She galloped for the broken house. It was dismantled and destroyed, every flake of paint had fallen off, and roof’s shackles hanging on by glue alone.
“What happened here?” Spike came up beside her. The cold air beat at them, and made the breath from their red snouts a visible fog. Fluttershy looked rosy it had such an effect on her, but she was too determined to turn back after seeing Discord’s home ruined.
“Fluttershy, wait-hey!” Spike called out for the mare that was climbing up the grey staircase to the home of the Lord of Chaos. Her breath foggy, and cheeks pink from the cold air, she proceeded inside. It was all grey and broken, cracks spread across the walls. Fluttershy stepped in snow-like ash that covered the floor, then heard a crack under her hoof. A picture of the two of them on a sunny day.
She walked around, her mouth open and breathing steadily, her nose a glowing pink from the freezing temperature of the house. Objects from the shelves had fallen and were now lying lifeless on the floor. Once colorful objects and spiraling magic, they were now dead and still. One object that laid on the floor was still colorful and bright red. Fluttershy slowly pulled the quilt from it’s cold captivity and awed at it. It was still soft and warm. She brought it to her nose and smelled his scent, it was smoky and had the faint smell of rain, it was his.
Meanwhile outside, Spike looked out and up at the white never ending ceiling. It was snowing. It was snowing white ash. “Fluttershy, I think we should-” He finally saw Fluttershy had gone in and had only just returned, with a blanket tied like a scarf around her neck. It was a baby blanket, almost like the one Spike had when Twilight took care of him when he was younger.
“Let’s go home Spike, he’s not here…” Fluttershy walked slowly to the portal, then paused. Using her hoof she lifted one corner of the patchwork blanket to her eyes and read the stitching, what she saw made her cry.
I made the wrong choice...I chose the wrong one. And I knew it all along.
“Fluttershy?” the pegasus nuzzled the blanket and wiped her tears away. “What now?” The dragon asked looking at his sad friend.
Fluttershy looked at the fallen kingdom and then at her friendly drake.
“I just want my Discord back…”