Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home


Madame Alias' Fantastic Pandemonium of Wonders (Ba'al Zebul): What We Fear Inside

“You are fortunate, wretched little bird.” the zebra who called himself Ba’al Zebul leered arrogantly at Glenda, who was trussed up and laying on the floor, “When your time comes, I will make it quick for you. I doubt the alchemist’s wife will be so kind to your little colt-friend. She has a nasty habit of playing with her food.”

Glenda struggled in vain against the ropes that held her, as the mad zebra continued his monologue, “You were marked for death from the moment you walked beyond the Madame’s threshold with that little harlot of a changeling. Perhaps in your next life you will do a better job of choosing your friends.”

A bell tolled and the zebra grinning wide. “Good news, little bird,” he laughed as he prodded the captive gryphoness, “it seems you friend has come to watch you die. But it shall not be a gift, but a prize she must win!”

The zebra threw a potion to the ground, where it fumed into three vapor trails, red, blue, and green. “Spectrum demons, seek out your prey. Drive them into my waiting blade!”

The vapors coalesced into three fox-like forms, which darted into three mirrors and set off through the maze, into one reflection and out of another, laughing like fools possessed.

-=-=-=-=-

“Billy, look out!” Sweet Tooth pressed tight against the goat as a red, fox-like creature of pure light dove from the mirror before them.

The goat for his part casually flipped the card held between his teeth, bisecting the demon cleanly. The fiends shrieks echoed throughout the maze, drawing fear and anger from it’s siblings. “The Guardian of Blades,” the goat declared evenly, and without emotion, “A rebellion, a thwarted plan and a return to balance. Though he did not raise his voice it echoed from mirror to mirror throughout the maze. “Did you expect so little resistance, old friend? You were such a talented medium once. It must be painful to be so thoroughly in the thrall of a petty fiend like the Nopony.”

The goat collected his card and glanced around with his unseeing eyes, the two remaining demons watch balefully from the mirrors as the couple passed through the maze, hissing but not daring to attack again. Their courage was broken.

-=-=-=-=-

“The son of Baphomet!” Ba’al scowled, “I told that fool, Alias he would be a threat!”

Suddenly he saw in the ricocheting reflections as the goat stared him in the eyes through the mirror releasing a card with a flick of his head. The zebra’s heart froze as the reflected card struck him impossibly in the face. His fear turned to panic as he saw the card revealed.

The card portrayed a great and majestic Unicorn wearing a regal crown. Around her twelve breezies prepared a great festival. From the unicorn’s back, sprouted beautiful gossamer wings. At her hooves slept a tiny unicorn filly, swaddled in her own wings. The card lay clearly inverted.

“The monarch of butterflies.” The goats voice echoed throughout the hall of mirrors. Baal's remaining pets coward, crawling back quickly into the pits of tartarus. "A revolution, the return of an heir, the death of traitors.” The zebra spun, only to see his enemy standing before him. “Run coward, escape. Your sins in this affair were the least egregious. We were friends once. Do not make me turn your final card.”

“You would have me run so you could stab me in the back!” Ba’al spat on the floor. “Do you think I’m a fool! I have spent my whole life preparing for your vengeance! I took your sight in envy! I admit it freely, and every day since I have ran and I have hid knowing you were hunting me from the shadows with sight that penetrates darkness and blinding light! I am done running from you, William! You will face my steel and one way or another my fear will end!”

The zebra drew a scimitar in his mouth from the sash around his barrel just as the card struck. Ba’al Zebul dropped the blade and clutched at his chest in pain and horror.

“I never hunted you Ba’al,” the goat replied, “My sight was the price of my gift. I had foreseen it long ago. You’re spell was only the agent of a fate I myself set in motion. You were my peer. You were my friend. I missed you… I will miss you. Sleep quietly my friend, you have lived in needless fear. The spirit world holds no terrifying mystery to you.”

The goat bowed his head, and as he wept for his friend, he read the final card. “Death.”

-=-=-=-=-

As the Princess and the monster strode through the carnival of perversion, the came upon the unexpected sight of Tarotius William Solitair and Sweet Tooth. Walking closely beside the lunar pegasus looking fearfully for reassurance was a small griffon chick.

“I thought you never left your lair, Mr. Solitaire?” Princess Fast Change inquired suspiciously.

“I do not, your majesty, under normal circumstances.” The goat gazed absently at the sky. “These circumstances are far from normal.”

“Where’s Zap?” the little gryphon asked in a panic, “Is he okay? The zebra said a monster was going to eat him! The ringmaster, Madame Alias, she was going to have us both killed, just to hurt Diane!”

“You’re friend is fine,” Fast Change assured the young lady. She then turned to the Lunar pegasus. “It’s Sweet Tooth, right? Take this young lady to the hospital. She needs to be examined and she needs to see that her friends okay. We’ll take care of Madame Alias.”

“Pardon my intrusion your majesty.” The goat bowed respectfully. “The Nopony already faces his greatest enemy. He unwittingly gathers her army, she only needs find her courage again. And it has returned. This is a story of a father, a daughter, and a forgotten mother. You should gather your changelings to the midway. These ponies have been drugged by changeling poisons. They need to be healed by changeling medicines. When they regain their senses they need to be comforted by friendly changeling faces. I believe it is your place in the order of the cards to undo the damage Nopony has done this night to the heart and soul of your city. But that is only the humble opinion of a single goat.”

“If you ever take up politics you could depose Celestia.” The princess shook her head in disbelief.

“I care little for the affairs of ponies.” The goat admitted thoughtfully. “In truth, outside of my family, I don’t like them very much.”

It was no surprise that Train Wreck had never stopped walking, moving forward towards the Nopony like the force of nature that he truly was.