The book gave a resounding thud, as it made contact with the cop cart. Twilight had been aiming for the officer's head, but it had bounced off the shield he conjured, and that is why it hit the cop cart, and not his face.
"Princess Twilight, we do not want to have to place you under arrest. Please stop throwing books," the negotiator's deep voice was projected across the intercom. Twilight responded by throwing four books in rapid succession. Spike flinched with the thud of each book against the cart. Spike then face-palmed, because Twilight screeched, "You'll never take me alive, pigs!" As you can probably imagine, this has been a difficult day for Spike.
He was rubbing his temples, and undergoing a barrage of questions from an impatient officer behind a barrier of riot shields. He was ignoring the looks he was receiving from the crowd of ponies that had gathered. They were all quite confused as to why the Princess of Friendship was throwing books. So were the officers. Spike, however, was not confused.
Spike knew exactly why Twilight was throwing books. It was kind of his fault after all. But we will get to that later. At this moment in our story, Spike was just trying to come up with something to tell the officer. He was biding his time quite well by playing the "I am basically a toddler, and I am a Princess's assistant, and I am tired and stressed and stupid," role quite well. It was a role he played often, because a lot of the time it got him out of situations just like this one. However, the officer's patience was starting to wear thin.
"So you know....nothing, about all this?" she asked Spike.
Spike did his very best to not look guilty, as he lied,
"No, nothing at all Officer. Why would I know anything?"
She looked down at him over her sunglasses. That expression worried Spike.
"Look Son, the station got a call saying that the Princess of Friendship blew a gasket, and that she was assaulting ponies with books. Then, we get here, and lo and behold there she is. The Princess of Friendship armed to the teeth with assault books, and you were just standing outside her door twiddling your claws. You really expect me to think you know nothing?"
Spike was looking at his feet, and then he realized that probably made him look even more guilty, so he looked up at the cop and then immediately regretted it. The cop's soulless stare made his insides cold. He wondered if the cop could smell fear. Calm down Spike, that's just how they look at ponies.
He was actually wrong on that part. Cops actually can smell fear. Its a requirement for graduation from the academy.
And, yes. That cop did smell fear. However, she was fooled by the fact that Spike was basically a toddler, like I mentioned earlier. She assumed that Spike was afraid because a situation where a Princess would be throwing books would be scary for a child. Not because he had a decent amount of weed, hidden somewhere in the castle. If she had got around to thinking about it, she probably would not think Spike old enough to be interested in marijuana. See let that be a lesson for you. Never assume anything. But in this case it worked out, because we don't care about what the cop assumed, because she was not our protagonist. Spike is our protagonist. In case you couldn't grasp that for some reason.
But I digress.
Spike lied again to the mare cop, "No, m'am, nothing at all."
She continued looking at him over her sunglasses for a couple more moments. Then she promptly pushed her glasses up her nose, snapped shut her little cop notebook, and thanked Spike for his time. She told him that he might be useful in the book throwing cessation negotiations. He agreed to help, and she escorted him to the stallion who was periodically saying on the intercom, in his soothing voice, "Please stop throwing books your highness,"
The negotiator then paused, and turned to look at Spike. He then extended the hoof that held the mike towards Spike, helpfully and expectantly. The expression that Spike bore upon his face was similar to that of a foal when they have broken something, and adults are clueless as to what has actually occurred. He had this expression because what I had said, was basically what had happened. He took the microphone from the stallion, in a manner similar to which you might take a dirty diaper being thrust at you, and held it beneath his chin.
"Twilight,"
* *
Now for all of this to make more sense, it would probably be better for me to begin at the beginning of the day, since the cops did not get called till about mid afternoon. Actually it would be better for me to start about a couple of moons ago actually, since that is when the thing that happened that started all of this happened. Yes, that is when that happened. Spike was running an errand for Twilight. This errand was not important. Now, I am not telling you this because it is actually important and I am trying to build suspense or something. No it actually is insignificant. But anyway, he was walking along, and he thought he heard somepony laughing, and he thought he heard it coming from behind some bushes. Now if he heard Pinkie Pie's laugh from the bushes, he might have assumed that she was just being Pinkie Pie. But this laughter he heard was somehow, more soothing to him. He had not recalled ever hearing this particular laugh before. He was intrigued by this new jolly sound, and he trudged off into the bushes to find its source. He was also intrigued by this strange new smell that tickled his nostrils. He was unsure how to feel about it.
So he pushed his way through branches and leaves, until he stumbled upon a clearing and the two ponies that sat in it.
There was a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane, with her muzzle hesitantly pressed against, what to Spike appeared to be, some kind of vase. Beside her was a green earth pony, with orange dreadlocks. The green mare was holding a lit match up to the vase, or at least that is what appeared to be happening to Spike. They had not noticed him yet. For some reason that Spike was unable to yet grasp, Fluttershy was breathing in very slowly, and deeply. He could see her torso slowly expand. This was accompanied by an odd bubbling sound. This was all very new, and deeply confusing to Spike.
"Fluttershy? Treehugger?"
Treehugger slowly turned her head to look at Spike, while the sound of his voice caused Fluttershy to jump. At the same time, she inhaled a sharp breath, from panic. Then she doubled over into coughing spurts, in between the occasional "Oh, my,"
Treehugger patted her on the back, before saying, "Whoa, you're all good there little dragon man, but its not pleasant to be startled," she looked at Fluttershy. Spike approached them, as Fluttershy was regaining the ability to speak. She coughed every other word as she urgently whispered, "Oh no, Spike, you can't tell anypony about this. Oh no we are going to be in trouble, oh what have I done!"
"Calm down Fluttershy, it's all good man, Spike is cool,"
Spike was still very unsure about what he was supposed to be "cool" about. Now that Fluttershy had handed the odd vase back to Treehugger, the green mare extended her forelegs in offering towards Spike, and asked,
"Want a hit, man?"
Spike's eyes widened, and he began to back away, "No, I don't want to be hit with any vases today,"
If Treehugger had possessed the capacity to roll her eyes, she would have done so. However, such an act is not in her nature, so she just continued to smile, with her forelegs outstretched. "No man, not do you wanna be hit," she said in her soothing tones,
"Do you want a hit, of weed?"