"What kind of name for a chapter is that?"
I wake up. *I could have told them that.* I know, but wait, whoa re you talking to again? *You know, no one. The usual actually.* I see. *Absolutely nothing!* Please don’t go all crazy with the references like Dark did. *Oh I see you finally got his name, do you know mine yet? I would expect you too.* Pure, it’s obvious. *Now it’s you making the references.* What would that be a refer… Oh that, almost forgot about him… Oh I’m alone in this bed, how sad, seems like she already woke up. *What happened here last night?* Oh you know, it involved spoons. *Uh huh, oh I think I get it now.* “mental facepalm” You are such a weirdo sometimes, you know that right? *I know you love me for it.* True, but it’s still weird.
I stand up from the bed and smell something. Is that pancakes? Why is RD so good at cooking? Ok I don’t know how they taste, but you get what I mean, right? *Of course I do.*
I walk up to the door and open it slightly to look into the kitchen, and sure enough, RD is making pancakes. *The smell made it clear, but you just had to check?* Of course I did, what do you take me for?
I open the door and walk towards the kitchen. “Morning Dashie.” She looks at me almost dropping a pancake.
She quickly catches it though. “I see you are finally awake, good because then you can taste my pancakes and tell me if they are any good.” What does she mean by that? I just simply nod.
She puts some pancakes on a plate and hoofs (I’m going with that, OK?) them to me, I take the plate and sit down at the table (They actually exist!) and taste the pancakes, oh holy shit these tastes good, seriously. *Wait let me check… OH HOLY GOD! That is some amazing pancakes.* I know right? “They are AMAZING!” She smile and then hugs me.
“I’m glad you like them.” She then kisses my cheek. To which I blush for some unknown reason.
“Shouldn’t you also get something to eat?” I ask her.
“Oh I already ate; I just wanted to make something for you.” HOLY YES! *Is that even a complete sentence? Seems like word thinks it is.* What are talking about word? We are not writing any documents here. *Of course not, what do you take me for?*
“Thanks, that’s very nice of you to do.” She smiles and let’s go off me.
“Now I need to get to work, do whatever it is you do until I see you later. BYE!” She then flies straight out the door. I will never understand her. *You are not meant to.* True, she is a woman after all. *You mean mare?* Oh yeah right, that.
I finish up my pancakes and then I remember what I was going to do today. Iron needed my help with something I should totally go and do that! *I think I know what he wants.* Oh and what would that be then? *I will tell you if I’m right.* But then it’s not any fun. *…*
I walk out the door and close it (I know right?) and then I fly off towards the smithy. When I arrive I hear the hammer clashing with metal, as usual then. I open the door and Iron immediately stops and looks at me. “ I see you made it then.”
“Yes, though I have no idea what it is you need help with.”
“You never noticed? I guess you never were the brightest.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” *Ok I am 100% sure right now.* Please tell me. *But he is just about to.*
“I need your help with… Twilight.” He then blushes and look away. WAIT WHAT? How did I not notice this? *Because you can’t see the obvious clues, and I was right of course.*
“And what kind of help would that be?”
“I kind of want to… To… To… Ask her out on a date.” IS HE A PUSSY OR SOMETHING? Seriously what is wrong with this guy? He seems all great and powerful (see what I did there?) But he is really a giant pussy!
“Why don’t you just ask her? And don’t tell me it’s because you are afraid she will say no, because I don’t think she would do that.” He sighes.
“No it’s… OK THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS… Sorry for yelling a bit there, I just don’t know how to go about it.”
“Buy her a book or something… Oh wait, she lives in a library, DAMN. Ok let’s see here. She likes learning stuff but she likes reading a lot more, but what does that have to do with this? I don’t know I am just rambling right now…”
“Have any good ideas that doesn’t involve something really crazy?” Coward…
“I think you should just ask her to like do something, like watch a film or something and then eat, I don’t know. I promise I will be there for moral support when you ask her though.”
“Sounds reasonable, but I’m not sure I can handle it.” JESUS this guy is stupid. I sigh.
“You will be fine my friend, but seriously you really need to do this.”
“I will try, but if it doesn’t work I will kick your ass.” HA, I would like to see him try. *You know I could give him a power boost, just so he can kick your ass right?* I’m sorry if I offended you.
“Good, then let’s go!”
And surely enough we went to the flower shop (NO HOMO!) to get Iron a flower he could give to Twilight while asking her. We then walked over to the library and I hid in a nearby bush and he knocked on the door. I saw everything from Twilight getting surprised to happy and then hugging him.
I guess my mission here is finished then, now what should I do? Oh I know, I should probably do something to get a house. I wonder what though. *You want a house?* Yes, I do want a house. *Why didn’t you just say so? I will make you one with all the furniture you would need.* You can do that? And you would do that? *Of course I would it would be done I ten minutes flat.* You just had to make use of the catchphrase didn’t you? *That much is obvious, go to an open spot and I will start creating your house.* Ok sure.
I walk outside town to a small clearing very close to Dashes house.
Ok, this is a good spot, now start! *Ok sure.* I then get a really weird feeling in my ear and then I see white smoke in front of me. “Is that you?”
The smoke looks at me (How? I Don’t know so don’t ask me!). “Yes it’s me, but I don’t want you looking while I make my magic, so you will have to turn around while I works on this.”
“Yeah sure, I will be sleeping next to this tree, wake me up when you are finished.” I then lay down next to a tree and try to sleep.
But that doesn’t work because before I know it. *DONE!* GAH! You scared me. *Oh sorry, but the house is finished.* It is? I look behind me and see nothing but a small platform. And what is that supposed to be? *A teleporter, duh.* Oh right. How does it work? *You stand on the platform and press the button.* I could have told you that. *Then why did you ask?* Please just shut up.
I stand on the platform and click the button, I get a fuzzy feeling and then I am suddenly standing in a hallway with a clothes racket or whatever that’s called, I forgot. I see myself standing on an exact copy of the same platform. Makes sense I guess. *How else would you get down without flying.* What do you mean get down? *Just go into the next room and look out the window.* Yeah sure.
I open the door and I see a gigantic room, how large is this room? *About 75 square meters, why?* That is large.
I look around the room and I see a large sofa before a giant TV with… Did you have to make ALL freaking console that ever existed go here? I don’t even need them. *Oh ok.* And before I know it they are all gone. Seems better. I look around more, and wow this room is empty except for the windows and the seven doors. Where do they even go? *One goes to the kitchen and eating spot, another one goes to the master bedroom another one to the tower and the last four to guest bedrooms or the children’s bedrooms.* Are you implying I am going to get kids? *It is inevitable, so it’s good to be prepared and it’s always good to have extra rooms.* That seems fair. *Now go and look out a window.*
I walk over to the nearest window and… HOLY GOD WHY ARE WE FLYING? *The house is levitating through a constant magic spell I casted.* But why does it have to fly? *I don’t know I just wanted to make it cool.* It is cool don’t give me wrong I was just surprised. *Oh and there is an added bonus in here for you, actually two bonuses.* And what are those? *The first being, you never have to clean the place, dust can’t appear here. Don’t ask, just accept it.* That Is awesome because I hate cleaning. And what’s the final thing? *It’s something about the master bedroom, can you guess?* Don’t tell me you… *I sound proofed the room! So no one outside the room can hear what is going on in there.* I fall on my feet straight into the ground. *Dave? Are you ok? HELLO!* I am fine, you just… I can’t believe you did that. *I know, I mostly did it for the heck of it.* Hmm kay. But what made you make it a normal house that can fly when you could make it out of clouds? *So your friends can visit.* OH yeah I forgot that, thanks for that by the way. *No problem Dave, you are my friend after all.* You are my friends as well, I don’t know about Dark though. *He will come around and when you have known him for as long as I have, you get used to it. And besides, you don’t know what happened to him.*
What did happen to him? *I am not telling you because I promised not to tell, what I am wondering is why the author felt the need to change paragraph there.* What are you talking about again? *Oh sorry I got carried away.* Ok… *Shouldn’t you stand up again?* Oh yeah. I stand on my feet and walk over to the couch and sit down, yeah I can live with this couch because IT’S GOD DAMN FUCKING AMAZING, and ok I am overusing those words but whatever. How do you make so good choices on these things? *I know my furniture, and let’s leave it at that.*
‘KNOCK KNOCK’ Who could that be? Nopony even knows this exist right? *Probably somepony who accidentally clicked on the button.* Sounds fair.
“Where are we?” Is that? No it can’t be…
“Ah don’t know, should we knock?” *I think it is.*
“Don’t be ridiculous Applebloom, we should get out of here.” OMG it is them, holy shit.
“While you two were busy being dictionaries I already knocked remember?” That is a very weird conversation they are having. *YES, and now go and open the door.* Good idea.
I walk over to the door and open it. “Hello?”
“GAAAAHH!” They all scream in unison.
“Calm down, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m Dave by the way.” They seemed to calm down after that.
“So you are Dave? I’m Sweetie Belle.” I can see that.
“Ah’m Applebloom.” I hope this is not going where I think its going.
“And I am Scootaloo.”
“And we are…” *BRACE YOURSELF!*
“THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” They let out a small shockwave as the screamed that, and it was REALLY loud, jesus.
“That’s nice, but what are you three doing here? It’s not like this place is out in the open or something.”
“We found this weird platform thing, almost like that one.” She then pointed at the teleport. “And we pushed the button, and now we are here.”
“I could have told you that, but no matter. Do you want to know where you are right now?” They all smiled and nodded really fast. “Ok then, follow me.”
I motion them to follow me over to the window but they stop when they trotted inside the house. “You really have a big house here. It seems awesome.” There is really only one of those three who could have said that, so if you don’t know I feel sorry for you.
“There is something funny about this house, I just got it and I haven’t even been in all the rooms yet. Now get over here and look out the window.” They look at me and smile and then trot over to me.
When they look out the window they gasp. “Ah don’t understand, how can we be in th’ air?”
“I asked the guy who made it and he said it was because he thought it would be awesome and it kind of is.”
“Where is it located though, I have never seen it before.”
I laugh at little and they start to look at me weirdly. “Well that’s because he created the house in ten minutes and before you say anything, it is fully possible for the guy who did it.” Though it really is amazing, thanks again. *It’s no trouble, it’s not like I used a lot of energy or anything.* It was still really nice of you to do that.
“He must be ah fast build’r.” HAH, accent, funny.
“He didn’t build it the normal way, he used magic, I am not sure how though, and I’m not going to question it, because well I have a house of my own now.” I then let forth a small smile. “That’s enough with introductions, I need to get to know my house better, but can you do me a favor?” They all nod very slowly. “I kind of want to show this place to my friends, so I wanted to ask If you could get them here?”
“And what ponies would that be?”
“Hmm let’s see, there is Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy (Still annoyed at her), Rainbow Dash, Iron Forge, Nova and Chilly. Did you get them all?” They nod and rush out the door and I hear a small whooshing sound, kind of like the TARDIS sound but not really. OH wait I forgot to mention this, HOLY SHIT THOSE KIDS ARE CUTE. I know it sounds silly to say it so late but holy god they almost made my heart split in half, just because of the high cuteness factor holy god. *You are so random sometimes with what you say, you know that right?* Well it kind of was that chock moment so when they left I got all the cuteness at the same times, but holy shit that was amazing.
Ok now to check out the rest of the rooms, where should I go first? *Go to the kitchen!* Ok then. I walk over to the door he directed me to, stop asking how I don’t know so shut up! *I think we are rubbing off on you.* I have noticed because I am talking to people that doesn’t exist. That can’t be healthy. I open the door and how many square meters? *About 30.* Why do you have exaggerate? *It’s funny and besides it’s not that big, it’s fits all the thing you need in a kitchen.* That is true, fridge, freezer and stove and all that jazz and lots and lots of cabinets, what is even in those? *Oh I know, look in the one in front of you and then up a bit.* I open the cabinet he asked me to… Why is there so many chips in here? *They taste good, DUH!* Yeah yeah, that’s all for this room now let’s check out the master bedroom or rather my bedroom. *It’s the door to your right when you go out of this room.* Hmm kay. I walk into the room and all I see is a bed a dresser and windows, ok not that I expected something else, but it’s good it’s a really big bed though I am going to need that. Hehehehe. *And you called me a pervert.* SHUT UP! I usually roll around a lot in bed, I haven’t done that her though, weird…
Now what room should I choose next? *Take the first door to your right again, it goes to the Tower.* I still don’t understand why I need that. *You can lock the door to it, so it would be like a safe haven, not really since it has a lot of windows but whatever.*
I walk inside the door and start walking up the stairs. Why is this taking so long? *It’s a tower and besides it feels a lot better when you get up there, and it’s also workout, though it is a small one, it’s still a workout. That reminds me, on Tuesday we are going to start your training.* Oh I almost forgot about that, good thing you remembered, oh wait, Twilight still have my sword, I guess I will have to get it back later. I come up to the top of the tower… It’s nothing special really it’s just a lot of windows and a couch, wow this is a downer. *And you are boring, I tried to do something nice and this is how you repay me?* No it’s good it’s just that I thought since it is you we are talking about here I thought it would be something more like you. *I don’t get it.* No matter, now let’s check the guest rooms or whatever they are.
When I come downstairs I got the habit of going into the first door to my right and when I get inside all I see is the normal bedroom stuff like a bed and a dresser, nothing special here, are they all the same? *Pretty much.* Oh ok.
‘KNOCK KNOCK’ How did they time it so well? *How should I know?*
I walk over to the door and open it to see all my friends, I smile and let them inside…
"Pure needs no reason to do what he does so just accept it!!!"