Awkward Conversations And Other Stories

by No one is home


Madame Alias' Fantastic Pandemonium of Wonders (Train Wreck): Home Coming

“We’re gonna figure this out Z, it's gonna be okay,” Surprise comforted her herd sister, “This is a GOOD thing, honey, I promise.”

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. “It’s Princess Fast… I… can I come in.” the voice of the hives ruling princess emerged with an unusual timidity.

“Of course your majesty,” Surprise rushed to open the door, “What’s wrong?”

“Surprise? Z?” a familiar voice echoed from beyond the threshold.

“It… can’t be…” Surprise fell back on her flank as Z’s ears pinned back in hopeful confusion.

“I’m sorry to scare you like that,” Train Wreck cautiously stepped into the room, with Carrot Plate shuffling in place behind him. “I know I’m a mess to look at right now…”

“HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO US!” Surprise threw herself into the stallion, pummelling his barrel with blows that could shatter stone, “I had to watch them bury an empty casket. I had to hold Diane every night and tell her it was going to be okay! You stupid, stupid monster of a stallion! Don’t ever do that again! Do you hear me! You’re not allowed to die anymore! That’s rule! Do you hear me!”

“Z-978’s brother is back!” the changeling gleefully embraced the horribly scarred stallion, “We have to go find Diane! We have to tell her that he is still alive! He is back! Train Wreck is back and he is still alive!”

“I’m so sorry,” Carrot plate stumbled into the room, “I should have told you all… I should have told somepony…”

“It’s okay, Carrot,” Train Wreck reassured as he gave a cautioning glance at Surprise, “Carrot Plate here found me after I managed to crawl out of the wreckage. I was out of it for a few weeks but she nursed me back to health… she also tied me up in the basement, so we may need to go over some boundary issues. Her family… they were sort of holding her against her will and doing some bad stuff… like boysenberry muffins bad…”

Z and Surprise flinched at the coded language, before Surprise rushed to the mare’s side. “Are you alright? Thank you SO much for taking care of Train Wreck… things are going to get better, okay?”

“I… yes ma’am?” Carrot stammered as Surprise led her off to baked goods and hot cocoa with Z-978, leaving Fast Change to address Train Wreck directly.

“I’m not going to say it’s not a good thing that you did,” the Princess gazed levelly at the monster, “but there are going to be issues here. Even if the Plate family are scum… and believe me they are, but even so you don’t have the authority to just bust up their estate and leave with their daughter. However powerful you are, you’re not royalty, and you can’t just act unilaterally.”

“What, because I didn’t get zip-zapped by the right cosmic being it doesn’t count?” Train Wreck countered angrily, “I’m not trying to rule a kingdom here. I’m just trying to do right by a pony who did right by me!”

“Look, you’re a smart pony, so I shouldn’t have to spell this out for you,” Fast Change spoke evenly, “But you are an Alicorn. If there was any doubt before, coming back from that fire leaves very little question.”

“I’m no kind of Prince,” Train Wreck snorted disdainfully.

“And that’s the problem,” Fast nodded, “You’re not any kind of recognized royalty. You’re a wild card, and you just sent a signed notice to the noble houses that the rules just don’t apply to you.”

“I rescued an abused and exploited pony!” Train Wreck protested.

“Again, I’m not saying that you did wrong,” Fast Change shook her head sadly, “I’m saying that there are going to be consequences. You’re challenging the power and authority of ponies who don’t like sharing power. You have to think. I know there has to be a brain in that melon-sized head of yours.”

“Honestly what are they going to do about it?” Train Wreck grumbled, “Drop a building on me?”

“For starters, they’re going to make it very difficult for your wife to rebuild her business,” Fast reminded the pony sternly, “There’s probably going to be increased pressure on my hive just for letting you stay here. Just because you’re unbreakable doesn’t mean the ponies around you are.”

“If they try to hurt my family…” Train Wreck worked his lower mandibles but found the thought interrupted again by Fast Change.

“Then what? You become the monster they already think you are?” the changeling princess countered deftly, “I’m not against you here, I’m trying to help. You have to recognize that like it or not your…”

“Your Majesty,” Stand In interunrupted and whispered urgently to her Princess.

“I see,” the changeling queens face turned grim, “Place the Pastel family under guard. I’ll deal with this myself.”

“What?” Train Wreck stepped back defensively.

“You should probably come with me,” the princess said without preamble, “Something's gone wrong at the circus.”

“Something’s happened to Diane!?!?” Surprise materialized with a speed rivalling teleportation.

“Calm down Surprise.” Fast reached out with a comforting hoof, “We don’t know what’s going on exactly, but none of the guards that were watching Diane have reported back. I’m going to take your husband and investigate. I need you to stay here with your family.”

“If you think I’m letting Train Wreck go off by himself…” Surprise only to be interrupted by a soft boop on her nose.

“Diane will be fine,” Train Wreck smiled, “And I’m not going off by myself. I’ve got the princess of changelings right here. Whatever is going on, we’re gonna sort it out, and I’m gonna come right back home with Diane, and we’re gonna have a yay-everypony-is-okay-party.”

“I can help though!” Surprise protested, “I fought Discord, buster! You know, the god-like-being that gave you your good looks! There’s no way I’m going to stay home and bake cupcakes!”

“Look, Surprise, honey,” Train Wreck pleaded, “You know it’s not like that. But you know Z is gonna lose it, and there’s a scared lost little pony that followed me home and she’s hurt and confused enough as it is. I’m going to be okay. Diane is going to be okay. I’m going to get our daughter and bring her home. I need you to take care of the rest of our family until I get back. I know you’re tough, tougher than I’ve ever been, and that’s why I have to leave you with the hard job. Okay?”

“Just make sure she’s safe.” Surprise turned her head as she walked away. “Just make sure our daughter’s safe and bring her home. Both of you have to come home. That’s a rule, mister!”