A mare with brown hair and yellow fur stands in front of her cameracolt. She clears her throat before speaking. "This is One Scene with channel 4 news! We're here at Lotsofbodies River, watching as the infamously rare Purple Whales are released from captivity! It's our hope that these whales will swim down river to the ocean, and begin breeding, bringing their species back on track from extinction! This is truly a marvelous day, and nothing could possibly go horribly wrong to ruin it!"
Wait for it...
One Scene trots over to a colt, with gray hair and black fur, in his 80's. One Scene holds up a microphone to the colt. "Sir, what do you think the chances of the whales making it are?"
The colt nods a few times. "Well I think they'll be just fine. I gotta be honest though, I know the police are down here a lot but I still don't approve of what they changed the name of the river to. I personally prefer the old name, Stabbington Reservoir."
A purple whale and her calf surface for air, before continuing their swim. Hundreds of mares and colts on the riverbank let out gasps of amazement. One Scene turns back to the camera. "As you can see, ponies from all over Equestria have turned up to see this once in a lifetime event! Nothing could be better today than to turn out-" One Scene stops talking and turns around, as bubbles start appearing on the water next to the mother whale. Everypony gasps and watches eagerly. The crowd is dead silent, as...a second calf emerges out of the water!
The crowd goes wild with cheering. Ponies all around give each other hugs and jump in the air repeatedly. One Scene turns back to the camera again. She has a massive smile with bulging eyes. "I cannot believe the scene in front of us! A second calf has appeared, further increasing the chances of the whales returning back to safe numbers! This is truly a miraculous day indeed!"
The crowd watches, as a small colt in a wheelchair rolls his way to the bank of the river. He sighs longingly as he stares at the water. "Golly, I'd sure give anything to be able to swim next to those whales..." He sighs and looks at the ground. The crowd lets out sympathetic coos. The colts head jerks up as he hears a powerful voice behind him. "Don't worry Timmy, five-time gold medalist Iron Will is here! And he's gonna make your dreams come true!" A massive blue bull walks out of the crowd, wearing five gold medals around his neck.
Timmy claps his hooves excitedly. "Golly, this really IS the best day ever!"
Waaaait for it...
Iron Will, with the help of the crowd, tie Timmy's wheelchair to Iron Will's horns, who struts out into the water. The crowd cheers in amazement. Iron Will swims slowly behind the whales. The crowd hollers while jumping up and down. They slowly go quiet as a filly points to the water behind them. "Shark!" she shrieks. The crowd starts screaming and points at the fin sticking out of the water.
One Scene gasps and watches in horror. The crowd is in shock as the fin monster jumps out of the water.
Iron will "Don't worry everypony, that's just Squeaky, the friendly neighborhood dolphin!"
The dolphin jumps out of the water and lets out a friendly squawk at the crowd. Timmy points at the dolphin. "Look! He's also brought ice cream for everypony!" The dolphin dives underwater, and as it resurfaces, it throws ice cream inside cones to everypony.
The crowd cheers and enjoys their ice cream.
A white mare with a red mane steps out of the audience in terror. She points a hoof at the bridge leading over the river. "Oh no! A semi carrying toxic waste has turned to the side and is about to spill it's payload all over the whales! And Timmy!"
The crowd starts screaming in panic. A scientist steps out of the crowd. He has brown fur and a red mane. "Fear not everypony! For toxic waste is only hazardous if it has fire as a catalyst to start the chain reaction!"
The crowd murmurs to themselves in confusion before deciding to relax. Suddenly a loud roar is heard. They look up river to see a 747 with all four engines on fire, descending rapidly towards the river. The crowd panics again. The scientist slowly backs into the crowd, before stepping out dramatically again. "Fear not everypony! Because toxic waste and fire need sufficient human DNA to start a chemical reaction! And lucky, we have none of those here!"
Horrified screams pound from the sky, as they watch a human male, with a clearly malfunctioning parachute, fall straight down from the sky. Everypony looks to the scientist. He stares at them with concern. "Well balls." he mutters.
One Scene and her cameracolt watch in horror as the barrels in the truck scoot closer and closer to falling into the river. The plane gets lower and lower, so close you can almost see the pilot. The screaming man flails his arms wildly.
Almost there…
The whales swim under the bridge. The crowd cheers as the barrels shift a bit but don't fall. The plane whizzes overhead, just a few hundred feet above everyone but doesn't crash. And the man from the sky luckily falls face first on top of a nearby building.
The crowd cheers but looks at each other. A few voices from the crowd call out. “Did anyone get that on film?” “No I was too busy watching!”
One Scene steps forward dramatically. “Fear not! I, One Scene with channel four news, along with my trusty cameracolt, Gonna Diesoon, got the whole thing on film! You can watch it tonight!”
One Scene trots happily through the sand, up to the road. She turns to her cameracolt who lowers the camera. One Scene sighs happily. “You know, Gonna Diesoon, this may be our best story yet!” Gonna Diesoon nods his head. “With this story, we can finally move out to where the real action is-” Gonna Die soon steps too far out into the road and is hit by a police cruiser.
His camera goes flying into the air, and hits the ground, smashing to pieces. One Scene screams.
Jack Stone looks up from the steering wheel. “The hell was that?!”
Cadence sighs with annoyance from the passenger seat. “I don’t know but I’m not taking my hooves off my eyes until you finish...what you’re doing.” Jack Stone shrugs and continues looking at a magazine with Cadence’s seductive picture on the front, draped over the steering wheel, with his other hand down his pants.
Jack Stooooone!
Jack Stone lays on a metal slab in what looks like your stereotypical laboratory, as Dr. Sinister and Dr. Weird stand there laughing triumphantly. Dr. Sinister wears a black suit and has a stereotypical monocle in one eye. He's bald, white, and in his forties. Dr. Weird has on goggles, a white lab coat, purple gloves, black pants, and black shoes. He wears a black t-shirt underneath the lab coat that says "Nuke The Whales". His hair is gray despite being in his late 20s, and sticks out in every direction.
Dr. Sinister turns to Dr. Weird, “Vell then, shall ve kill him?!”
Dr. Weird laughs madly, “Yes! We shall kill him dead! Wahahahah!”
Dr. Sinister laughs evilly, “We shall drown him in the-”
Dr. Weird starts ranting, “We shall kill him emotionally! We’ll find his online blog and leave mean comments! He’ll have hundreds of rude downvotes, and over time, his self-esteem will be unrepairable! Wahahaah!”
Dr. Sinister stares at Dr. Weird confused., “I..I mean...let's destroy him!”
Dr. Weird, “Yes, destroy him! Not one bit left!”
Dr. Sinister grins, “Yes, now you get-”
Dr. Weird, “We’ll destroy his reputation by spreading vicious rumors about how he never washes his hands! No one will ever hire him, and he’ll be ignored by every last being on the planet! Wahahahaha!”
Dr. Sinister sighs then covers his eyes with his hand annoyed, “Ok this ishn’t vorking, I’m leaving..” Dr. Sinister walks out of the room.
Jack Stone glares at Dr. Weird, “You’ll never get away with this! Kidnapping a cop? You’ll get the maximum penalty for that!”
Dr. Weird stares at Jack, “Kidnapping? You were unconscious, what was I supposed to do,? Leave you to die? I brought you inside and gave you medical treatment!”
Jack stone looks confused, “But you’re holding me against my will!”
Dr. Weird crosses his arms offended, “Um, you’re free to go at anytime. The exit’s right there.” He points at the same door Dr. Sinister went through.
Jack looks at his wrists and ankles and realizes there was never anything actually holding him to the table.
Jack Stone sits up and glares and then starts walking out.
Dr. Weird, “Um….you’re welcome?!”
As Jack exits the lab, he see's a single car parked in the lot. It's a powder blue Prius. Jack looks around, and after seeing no one, takes out his gun and puts six rounds through the hood. He smirks, but turns around with concern upon hearing a loud sigh. Dr. Weird stands in the doorway with his arms crossed disappointingly.
"Um...you gonna pay for that act of vandalism?!"
Jack Stone glares angrily with his arms at his sides. He grips his pistol so tight it fires. "I'll...I'll send you a check."
Jack Stone looks down at his foot then back to Dr. Weird. "Also can you call me an ambulance?"
Celestia leans against Luna in the throne room, as they can't stand upright while laughing.
Cadence gets off the floor weakly, her eyes are still filled with tears. She wipes them away with a massive smile.
Cadence takes a deep breath. "So...so let me get this straight, Your arch nemesis now is an evil genius, but he doesn't technically break the law so you can't do anything?! Oh! Oh that is just beautiful!"
Jack crosses his arms annoyed. "It's...it's not fair!"
Luna falls over on her side laughing, as she hugs herself. Celestia gradually lays on the floor, pounding her front hooves into it mercilessly.
Jack still stands there pouting. "It...it doesn't make any sense!"
Luna walks over to Jack Stone despite her legs wobbling. "It doesn't have to make sense, it's Jack Stone!"
The princesses roar with laughter.
Jack Stone turns around and limps to his cruiser, with his right foot in a cast.
The princesses roll around on the floor howling.
Jack plows through a wall with his car and is gone.