Lyra stared at Bon Bon, where she was crouching in the forest clearing.
She was COVERED in toothpaste. Occasionally, she wailed in some kind of perverse agony. Big bulbous tears carved valleys in the tooth paste streaked across those cheeks. In the grasp of her hooves, was a tube of toothpaste. She was grunting, quite angrily, at the tube. One of her hooves was covered in considerably more toothpaste than the rest of her, and she was mashing at the tube with it, repeatedly. She was obviously trying to accomplish something here, and though this goal was unclear, it was clear that she was failing in achieving it. Each hoof mashing caused her to grow even more exasperated. Every action she took caused the problem to grow worse, as she squeezed more and more from the tube. She noticed this, and her cries of agony grew in their ferocity. But she would not stop. Was it possible that, she could not stop?
All of this was made a whole lot worse by the fact that Bon Bon was not riding a bicycle. Lyra could not shake the menacing vibrations emanating from Bon Bon's fur like radio waves. Was Bon Bon jealous of Lyra's bicycle? Lyra wanted to go bicycle riding with Bon Bon, and Bon Bon said she had been feeling like she was doing too much of that lately so she wanted to stop. Lyra asked Bon Bon if it would make her feel uncomfortable to be around bicycles. Bon Bon said no! Had Bon Bon lied?
Was Bon Bon addicted to bicycles?
Could you even be addicted to bicycles?
Its seems unlikely, its not the kind of thing one can easily do every day.
Bicycles are alot of commitment.
And after all, Bon Bon was not the kind of mare to fall prey to addiction of that nature.
Bon Bon is a good, strong mare, despite her secret life as an undercover agent, where she does some probably very sketchy things. But Lyra did not mind. Bon Bon was good. Lyra liked Bon Bon.
Bon Bon is good! I like Bon Bon! Lyra reminded herself.
Despite her reasonings, she could not shake the feeling that something was very very wrong with Bon Bon. Was it really something that was wrong with Bon Bon? Or was it something wrong with her?
WAS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH LYRA?
She was very scared.
The fear swirled in her belly, like the bats that swarmed around the clearing.
They were there, inside the little pool of light that shielded the pair from all shadows, Lyra with her bicycle and Bon Bon with her tube.
Bon Bon did not stop. She only continued to growl and bash the tube. To some kind of unheard rhythm she beat the toothpaste from the tube, all the while trying to do the opposite. She wailed, she bawled.
She stopped.
She looked at the sky.
She HOWLED!
"Bon Bon, what the fuck are you doing?"
Bon Bon stopped with the hoof mashing, and looked up at Lyra.
Bon Bon's eyes burned with a fury like which Lyra had never before seen. Blades of fear twisted withing Lyra's stomach. Disdain was borne upon her brow, as she looked at Lyra, and shouted at her, as if she were the dumbest pony in all of Equestria,
"I am trying to put this toothpaste back into its tube!"
"You made me squirt it all out and now I am putting it back in thank you very much!"
Lyra was dumbfounded.
"God Lyra! You are so fucking stupid!"
This made Lyra feel very bad. After all when your best friend says you are stupid, this makes you feel very bad. No pony likes to be told they are stupid. Even if they are stupid. Especially not by their best friend. In the case that the pony in question was stupid, then the best friend should be the pony to tell them about it. I personally would prefer, if I was being stupid, I would want my friend to sit me down and give me a nice logical list of their concerns or complaints, gently. The news should not shouted at somepony in a dark forest while you are covered in toothpaste. That is rude. We are all adults here. We should all know how to use toothpaste by now. For crying out loud.
I mean there's no reason to be mean!
They could have just gone to the stream, to wash off the toothpaste. And then together they could have gone to the store to buy some more toothpaste. Then together they could have done, whatever the hell ponies are supposed to do with toothpaste anyway.
But Lyra did not think about this.
It was very very dark. Lyra could hardly see Bon Bon in the dark clearing, much less anything else. Lyra was too busy with her bicycle and her feelings were simply too hurt for her to question this extremely uncharacteristic behavior. For her to question any pony's uncharacteristic behavior. All the ponies were indeed behaving rather odd, did they always act this way?
It was all too much, just too much for one mind.
Lyra held back the tears struggling to free themselves from her eyes.
Lyra was very sad, and then she became angry at her sadness. Why should she be sad? It is not fair for her to be so sad when it is so very very dark.
Lyra bit her lip. She would not cry, in front of Bon Bon.
"WELL FUCK YOU TOO BON BON!"
Then she rode her bicycle further into the forest.
She wondered why she was going further into the forest. She was in control of the bicycle. After all, it was her bicycle.
The solution was easy. She turned her bicycle in a different direction, and continued pedaling along.
Always keep in mind, that while your bicycle does indeed have a mind of its own, you likewise have a mind of your own. Your mind should also be superior to that of a bicycle. After all, you are using your mind to operate the bicycle. It is your mind which puts your legs in motion. It is your mind that turns the wheels.
Bicycles are quite smarter than trains, and thus, they are still bicycles. Now it is natural to slip up, once or twice. Bicycles are wily creatures, and they tend to try to go their own way sometimes. All you have to do, is give your bicycle a firm, but kind tap on the nose, and say NO. We are not going that way, we are going this way. And then you and your bicycle would go that way, and not that other way. However it can be quite difficult, to lean over your handle bars to tap your bicycle upon its nose, while also continuing to pedal. This is why it can be helpful, to ride a bicycle with a friend, or at least have that friend gallop beside you as you go on your merry way. Now the friend might be in a bit of a better mood, if they did not have to frantically run beside you, attempting to tap a moving vehicle on its nose. In all probability, they will actually be a little annoyed with you, for making them gallop their ass for 6-8 hours alongside you while you giggle and laugh, and have a merry time. But their emotions will cause you to be sad, because they will be grumpy. They would be happier on a bicycle, but they would like wise have to lean over while pedaling, to tap your bicycle upon its nose. Do you see the problem here? However this all depends on how adept your companion is at riding a bicycle, or how patient and kind of a friend they are.
One should not ride bicycles by oneself, because that is how one wakes up to find themselves up a tree in front of the Equestrian Public Library at 3am with no pants. And like at many moments when one is wearing no pants, it would be simply far too easy to do some internal exploration. That can be very dangerous. (This story arose from an instance extremely similar after all) Now unless you are into that sort of thing, it might be best to bring a friend on your bicycle rides, to stop you, or to play with you. But this could also be very dangerous, for you and your friend might both end up in that situation, simply together, and refusing to acknowledge the elephant in the tree that is your exposed genitalia and the creeping fear.
Again it is all up to you.
You create your reality.
However, if you can be repeatedly outsmarted by a bicycle, then I do not know how to help you.
And if you by some chance, are stupid to the point where you can be outsmarted by a train
Then may Celestia have mercy upon your soul.