Origins of Madness

by Twi

Prologue

Did you ever wonder, why Ponies live in Peace and Harmony?
Why there is no crime, no war, and no hatred?
Did you ever ask what this place makes so special, that the worst thing that could happen is to be late for a friendship report? Or how somepony could forgive a possessed Alicorn for trying to bring eternal Night over the land you love so much?

This isn´t the work of an wise and selfless princess, or the results of the heroism of six Ponies, representing the elements of Harmony. No, this is the work of the Live stream, to which everypony is connected. Earth ponies, Pegasi, Unicorns and Alicorns share the same bond with this mystical Energy and are able to feel its warmth, guided by it to live in nearly absolute Harmony.

Because of the life stream, Ponies do not feel emotions like hatred the way we humans do. When a Pony talks about “hating somepony”, a human would say he slightly dislikes someone. But when a human talk about hate, a Pony would… well, a Pony can´t feel such a deep negative emotion towards another living being. Their mind is not able to develop such a strong emotion, not only bad, but neither good ones.
This is the reason for the peace in Equestria.

But there is always a black sheep in the herd.

His name is Life Dreamer, a young Unicorn Stallion living in outer Canterlot. His life isn’t easy, never was and never will be. Without the connection to the live stream, he doesn’t feel the motherly warmth when he feels down. He doesn’t have the voices that tell him what’s right and what´s wrong. He lacks this natural Guide. Yeah, he can feel emotions on a level, other Ponies couldn’t even think about, for example the undying love to somepony he would die for, just to see this special Pony safe, but he can also feel the deep hatred we humans can feel. He can have the need to purposely hurt another Pony, even to the point of being satisfied while seeing them suffer. When there was, for example, a report of an accident, in which a young colt lost his life, everypony would nearly freak out. They would mourn over the lost soul, and pay him their respect. Life Dreamer, instead, would watch them in silence, wondering why they freak about somepony they didn’t even know? Why should he care for those, he would never see in his life? Everypony acts this way, as if it lies in their nature, what it basically does, but he would act so different, so… cruel; without even knowing why.
It isn’t like he wants to be that way. He loves life more than everything, wants to be part of the community. He wants to make friends, he wants to care for others and be cared for. He wants to find his special somepony to start his own family and to live happy till' the day he dies. But in an world, where no one ever needed to learn how to be friendly, or needs to be taught how to live in peace with the ones around him, who should teach him? Who should be his guide through this perfect world of peace and happiness? His parents died in a terrible Snowstorm in the Year 804, when he was only 4 Years old. No one knew about his lack of guidance and there were no recorded cases of this… disease, this sickness, and no one knew how to cure him. And no Pony could understand that it wasn’t his fault…

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On his 6th Birthday, he “broke” the first time, that’s what he would later call his dark emotions which he shouldn’t be able to feel. He lived in an Orphanage in Manehatten. “The smiling Mare” stood at the outskirts of the third biggest City, right after Cloudsdale and Canterlot. The building was on the same road that would lead travelers to the new founded village Phillydelphia. It was two stories high and had 7 rooms on each floor. While the living room, kitchen, and other essential rooms where on the ground floor, the sleeping rooms of the orphans and the offices of the Educators where on the second level. The orphans slept in one big room, a bed per Pony. In front of the beds was a single chest for their possessions. The beds where anything but comfortable, but they were better than the cold ground, so no pony ever complained about them. The walls were painted in blue and yellow tones, here and there some clouds or a smiling sun. He lived there together with 9 other fillies and colts, every one of them lost their parents to the cold grip of death.

Even if the other orphans experienced the same things like he did, he took it worse than anypony could ever imagine. He never said a word, nor did he smile. He would always look at the others with an empty look, unable to be read or interpreted by doctors. His eyes were lifeless, like he had no reason to live, eyes that said that Life Dreamer's Soul died with his parents. He was the outsider of the group of orphans; no pony ever talked to him, or even stood in the same room as long as it was for sleeping or eating. Even if he never did something to gain their distrust, everypony was scared of him.

At his birthday the educators got him a plush donkey. Even if they were scared of him, they still wanted him to be happy. It was their work after all. It was a weak attempt to crack his shell, but what they didn’t know was, that he had a plushy of a donkey before, given to him by his parents on his third birthday. He would carry it always with him, never leaving it alone, he really loved “Mr. Donk” more than anything. After the death of his parents, he was not allowed to take the grey plush with him. He didn’t know it at that time, but he truly hated them for taking Mr. Donk away from him. He never felt an emotion that strong before, and he couldn’t understand just how deep this feeling for revenge was but all he knew, all he could feel after some days, was the hurt of his broken heart, losing everything that was left of his parents. No pictures, no letters, nothing was left but his little donkey.

After two Years of pain, he felt something different, something… good. When he saw the present they bought him, he felt happy for the first time in a long time. He never talked about anything to anypony, so nopony knew about his affection to his precious plush donkey. The Educators were puzzled at first, wondering why a simple plush would be able to do, what they desperately tried over the course of two, long years. Everypony was happy to finally see a smile on the mud brown colts face. Gifts like this were very unusual back then, seeing as the Orphanages were fairly poor. So it was only a matter of time, the other colts became envy and wanted a plush to snuggle while they slept. Of course, there were not enough money for 9 additional, expensive plushies, so they always told the orphans that Life Dreamer was a special case and he needed this present.
It was only a matter of time, till the others would begin to try and steal Mr. Donk from him. He quickly realized that he could never stop watching for his only possession. He would always wear it close to him, never letting it lying somewhere for even a few seconds.

One night, a young Pegasus named Cloud Chaser decided to simply take it from Life Dreamer. They were all Orphans, they all lost their parents, and they all suffered the same pain he felt. So why should he be special? Why should he get better treated than any other Pony? She thought it was unfair, and she wanted to do something against this. She waited for everypony to be asleep, and sneaked over to Life Dreamer's bed, In which the brown colt with intense green eyes would lay asleep, snuggling his plush like it was his passed away mother. He would dream of his mum and dad, how they would embrace him, how they would tell him that they loved him. In his Dreams, he was truly happy. He had no fears, no pain and no sorrow to deal with. But this time, his beautiful Dream would be interrupted by a Pegasus, trying to steal the most precious thing he would ever possess. As soon as he realized what was happening right in front of him, he seized both left legs of the grey bundle of fabric. Even if the plush was expensive, the quality back then was anything but good, so it was only a matter of seconds, before the sound of tearing could be heard, soon followed by a loud snap and the thud of a Pegasus, falling over to the ground.

Life Dreamer couldn’t comprehend what happened this night. He probably never will be able too, but the moment he saw his beloved Mr Donk lying in pieces, ripped apart by an envious Pegasus, something in him snapped. It was the same hatred he felt two Years ago. Tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, he stood in front of the dazzled Pegasus, who still didn’t get what happened a few moments ago. The Unicorns cheeks grew hot and deep inside him he felt one desire to grow rapidly:

He wanted, no, he NEEDED to hurt this Pony.

For the first time in his life in the Orphanage, he managed to say something. However, every Pony who heard him would soon wish he didn’t hear the malicious, hate filled words the little Unicorn screamed:

“I HATE YOU! I WILL KILL YOU I PROMISE!”

Was all he screamed again and again, while attacking the helpless Pegasus. He jumped on Cloud Chaser, assaulting her repeatedly with punches and kicks, trying to end the Pegasus´s life. The other Orphans woke as soon as Life Dreamer screamed for the first time, watching in horror as the event occurred in front of them. Some of them just watched, some of them screamed at the rage filled Unicorn and one of them even cried at the sight of his close friend getting beaten up. Cloud Chaser was stunned, she couldn’t do something, and she couldn’t even say something. All she could do was suffering the assault of the Outsider on top of her.

By the time the Educators came rushing in, the floor underneath the two Ponies was red from the blood of the crying Pegasus. They instantly took hold of Life Dreamer, whose face was littered with tears and an expression, they could never forget. His face had shown only one feeling. One feeling, no Pony ever thought anypony could feel. It was the first time in Equestria's young history, that a Pony felt and expressed pure hatred.

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From this time on, he was seen as a Freak, as an Outsider who shouldn’t exist at all. He tried to explain himself, but nopony would ever listen. He was thrown out of the Orphanage, and had to live on his own. He would soon learn, that this incident wasn´t the only time he would break, nor would it be the worst event that would happen in his life.

This is the Story of a young Stallion on his way to find peace and Harmony, walking down the road to madness…