Even after the train pulled into Canterlot Station I decided not to doubt myself, or at least not out loud. I was actually going to go through with all this ubsurdity! Hopefully without dying or being driven mad by constantly wondering if Sombra is staring at me with his not-exactly-friendly red eyes. It's like all the eye color of each and every fairy tale horror from my foalhood were merged into one set before being bestowed upon Sombra so he might sassily roll them to everything I say.
I was only reminded of his presence due to the fact that he was literally at my throat as a necklace and that I wasn't going to just stroll into the castle and give him to Auntie Celestia with a big smile on my face like any sane pony would do, because five minutes with Sombra is enough for me to kiss such a concept good-bye, wonder if mid-life crisis is coming early, and realize that none of us are princesses because we are sane. At this point, sanity is only a concept that I posess any vague knowledge of. Twilight and both my Aunties are many times more eccentric than I.
I just hope that I'm making the right choice in choosing not to give him up to somepony who could handle him better. I mean, surely Auntie Celestia can handle Sombra more skillfully than I could? He's a tyrant. A tyrant who I'm going to have to work with in order to protect innocent ponies.
Thankfully, I had a dash of good luck when nopony noticed the alicorn princess and the necklace. Wow... I really hadn't expected that, and was able to hurry off to the Archives unoticed.
What kind of resources will we need? I asked him.
The necklace/tyrant gave a sigh inaudible to pony ears.
Pre-Equestrian things. Obscure history books that detail things before your country formed and before Celestia...
Celestia? What?! I queried, surprisingly intrigued. Perhaps this would be something even Twilight didn't know!
The necklace gulped a bit as I walked to the archive wing of the castle. Maybe he was worried about guards?
Before… she banished me. You and I are going to be looking for things written by ponies who lived before Celestia banished me and sealed me away in the Arctic. I'm not going to say anymore about those events.
Don’t forget about Princess Luna! I added. She was there too.
Believe me, he began, I haven't forgotten about the younger one.
You must really hate her. I mused.
Quickly he added, You misinterpret things. I hate Celestia for more than one reason, whereas I barely know anything about Luna, since she was the lesser known sister. Wasn't she?
He had a point, even when she was in the history books, Auntie Luna was often overlooked... sometimes reduced to a mere footnote. Even I wasn't sure if she was real or a fairy tale until Auntie Celestia told me.
Oh… I thought since she helped banish you… never mind.
I stopped myself and pondered this a moment.
Just how old are you, then? You know, since you were sealed in ice and everything.
Really? He asked, oozing sarcasm mixed with surprise. Out of everything you could possibly ask me, all you want to know is how many candles to place on those ridiculous birth-anniversary pastries if one were to be given to me? You really don't want to hear how to overthrow other ponies or something?
I think I'm just going to ignore that he just bad mouthed birthday cakes... that or he doesn't quite know what they are since if I just toss everything else I know of him and go off what he's showing me he's pretty affably evil since I haven't seen him try to slaughter anypony yet.
Yes.
Another annoyed sigh. Counting my banishment?
Again, yes.
Okay, then I’m 1,123.
Since you seem to know them from the old days, could you explain how Celestia and Luna’s aging work? It's not exactly polite to ask, and I'm not an expert on immortal goddesses. Plus, you're far from polite.
So it's only now that you decide to interrogate me?! What makes you think I'll comply? You just called me old. I'm not old.
I giggled softly. How'd this drama queen ever become a tyrant? It's only the nagging in the back of my mind and my better judgement that's reminding me of such. You're not that old, I promise!
I caught him mumbling something about hypocritical candy golems under his breath before he finally decided to 'speak' clearly again.
Ugh. Fine. Maybe.
Come on, tell me!
Alright, alright. Celestia is around 3,500 years old and Luna is anywhere from 300-500 years younger. I wasn't exactly there when they were born. Celestia would have been close to a very young foal's age - what are they called again?
Do you mean a toddler?
Yes, that. She'd have been the equivalent of a three year old when Luna was born. Toddler. Whatever. True Alicorns age slowly and after they are 18 or older they will stop aging physically for eternity and settle down at what is call an ‘equivalent’, which is their eternal age equivalent to a mortal. They also will never grow any bigger after 18 although maturity and intelligence are a different story, which I don't know. In your case, mortal alicorns don't live past 1,100 years since you aren't exactly real Alicorns and don't even as how long candy golems like yourself-
What do you mean I'm not-
Are you immortal?
No...
Well that's the easiest way to tell. Don't expect me to tell you everything I know.
I was still astounded. What are Celestia and Luna's ‘equivalents’? How do you know this?
This proves my point, you are interrogating me. No more questions from here until later. He grumbled.
He resumed muttering to himself, this time it sounded like math from what I was able to hear. Okay, answer to question one; Luna would be about 19. Celestia is 32, give or take a year or two. Just so you don't ask, take off the 1,100 years and you have my age. Now on to question two. I will keep this rather… personal… question simple. I have studied magic, Alicorns, history, and more. There. That's all your getting from me.
Thanks. I said.
My turn, Princess.
Hmmm?! What was he going to do now?
Behold my questions, pink one, he snickered. You only look to be about seventeen but I don't believe that stallion who threw you at me was your brother. So exactly how old are you? Who were those peons from the, ah, opening debut?
That was all he wanted to know? Not some arcane secret for more power or how to become a ‘mortal alicorn’?
Okay… first thing is first, I’m twenty-one, not seventeen. Few ponies, if any, would get married at that age. Shining Armor, my husband, whose horn you inlaid with magic blocking crystals is twenty-two and his little sister Twilight Sparkle, the purple unicorn, is the one who is seventeen. Her friends are all around that age as well, give or take a few months from each, except for Fluttershy, the yellow pegasus, who is nineteen. Spike the dragon-
Don't remind me, he grumbled.
-is 10, so he's a baby compared to everypony else.
At that moment as I was still walking through the castle to try to find the archive wing, I bumped straight into a pony. That pony was Princess Luna, who, nothing against her, hopefully had somewhere better to be at the moment and didn't possess the secret ablilty to detect sassiness somewhere in her arsenal of goddess powers. When she saw me, her turquoise eyes went wide with surprise and curiosity.
“What art… you… doing here?” Luna asked, still somewhat stoic in her demeanor. Although I noticed her small slip-up—she'd almost said an archaic term. Sometimes she still did that. At least she had tried to correct her mistake, even if it had made a mish-mashed sentence.
“I’m here to see if there are any good arctic maps… I’m going on a camp out.” I said, beaming convincingly. I'm wishing for no camping though, since I doubt King Sombra is any fun. He'll probably try to kill me when I sleep if I'm not careful.
Right then I noticed my necklace growing hot, like somepony was trying to slowly cook it. Oh gods he can hear me, can't he? Hiding the pain best I could, I could, I listened to Luna’s reply without my smile faltering.
“There are some arctic maps in the Tribe section of the Pre-Equestrian section, among the Tribal artifacts. Very few arctic maps are recent, depending on how far north you will go for your trip.”
She eyed my necklace.
“That pendant… it is not your usual attire; where did you get it?”
“I made it.”
Not a lie. Woo-hoo honesty!
Luna nodded sagely before speaking. "It is a nice piece."
The necklace was worse now, it felt like it was on the brink of burning my coat off, so I removed it – much to Sombra’s disagreement due to the sudden string of curses he issued – and shoved it in with my provisions.
“Here,” Luna said, “let me show you to the Tribal section, you seem quite lost.”
“Thank you.” I smiled.
“Why did you remove your necklace?” She inquired.
“Ohh… I wanted to put it away so I don’t… lose it among the relics. After all, it is supposed to look vintage.”
She nodded but said nothing else the whole time, since even though Luna was friendly, she was still more introverted than Auntie Celestia. I just hope I didn't deter her from something important.
All the while, the necklace still burned and created such a horrible – yet thankfully undamaging – heat in my saddlebags. At least my grimace was convincing.
…
When we arrived, Luna said a curt good bye and left us in front of a wooden door with two archive guards and a plaque that read:
Pre-Equestrian Section
Number Three:
Tribal Era
Authorized Ponies Only
The guards nodded and performed an anti-changeling spell, casting it on me before I entered.This kind of spell was 100% effective for detecting changelings in disguise but could easily miss other things. Thus, it skipped over Sombra.
I stepped inside the room cluttered with books, maps, scrolls, relics, and every other kind of knowledge from the time period. I'd guess that they're just as old as Sombra, who I honestly thought would be twice my age but no, he's practically a college student. A college student who over threw and empire and majored in tyranny.
I cast a noise blocking spell on the door as it closed, because unfortunately, I would need Sombra’s help, and not as an extra-crispy-cooking necklace, but as the annoying jerk he is.