//------------------------------// // Hour one // Story: Pinkie explains shipping to the mane six // by HarmonyRapids //------------------------------// "Uh Pinkie, what is shipping?" Rainbow said in a tone that was only slightly interested. Then again, interested was stretching it. The only reason she'd asked, was because she thought she should at least know more about the gibberish that was being spat at her. Her sunglasses were pulled over her irritated fuchsia irises so the bubblegum pony couldn't see the eye rolls that she'd been doing for the past few minutes. But now her eyes were tired. And her ears were exhausted. Yet her brain was whirring like the propeller on her pet tortoise that she so often had to fix. Celestia, but if only she could fix Pinkie's incessant need to talk. "I was hoping you'd ask that!" Pinkie said, shooting the shaded pegasus a bright grin, before she began to explain the fundamentals of a pastime so many loved. Rainbow merely made a sound like a mix of a grunt and a whinny of absentminded consensus. "Shipping is when two ponies are paired together by these weird creatures called humans." Pinkie said, ready to delve into her own unique description. "There are two types of shipping that the humans beyond Equestria ship. And those are heterosexual and homosexual. Heterosexual means mare with stallion, and homosexual means mare with mare. I would tell you some of the shippings, but I don't know if you'll wanna hear them..." "What are humans?", Rainbow Dash asked. "Rainbow I already told you what humans were, and what they looked like!", Twilight said. "When?", Rainbow asked, still half asleep from the nap she had took while Pinkie was talking. "When I went through the mirror!", Twilight shrieked. "Whoah, Twilight, sheesh no shrieking that's Pinkie's thing, right Pinks?", Rainbow said jokingly. "No, Twilight you're wrong these are different humans.", Pinkie said, not quite grasping how much what she had said meant to Twilight. "No, I'm right," Twilight said, beginning to show signs of a mental breakdown. "No Twilght these humans are different. There is no version of Scootaloo or Rainbow or me when it comes to these humans." "Of course there is!", Twilight protested. "Not there isn't.", Pinkie remarked casually. Twilight's hair began to mess up unconsciously, and Twilight said, "No you're wrong." "Twilight these humans all have neutral skin." "What no they don't!", Twilight yelled. "Yes they do!", Pinkie shrieked. "What is skin?!", Rainbow yelled. "Seriously, you don't remember?!", Twilight said, her mane frizzing. "No! I don't!", Rainbow shrieked. "And their hair is neutrally colored too," Pinkie added calmly. "NO ITS NOT!", Twilight yelled. "Also not all girls wear skirts.", Pinkie added, running away from a now livid Twilight being held back back Applejack. "Oh my Celestia Twilight dear are you okay, we can always postpone today's pet play date and go to the, the, mental ward?", Rarity half asked, half stated. "Oh my Celestia that was awesome! Can you make her nostrils go all crazy again?!", Rainbow Dash said falling over from laughing so hard. "Later," Pinkie whispered. Most of the main six scolded her. Twilight snorts and pawed at the ground. Pinkie and Rainbow gulped. "Um, girls, can we go back to Pinkie explaining about shipping, Twilight scares me when she's mad.", Fluttershy whisper said. "Lesson Zero.", Pinkie whispered, breaking the fourth wall as usual with flawless style and impeccable timing. As soon as those words left Pinkie's mouth, Twilight's head snapped around to look at Pinkie like that one scene in 'the Shining'. Everybody but Twilight burst out laughing. And eventually, even Twilight lost it. All the ponies were on the ground holding their sides in less than a minute. "No- but- but," Pinkie sputtered trying to say something, "Fluttershy's right, you little ponies must learn about shipping." "Ya mean with boats?", Applejack asked. "I mean with ponies," Pinkie said, beaming despite Applejack's blatant ignorance. "Could ya repeat that part where you explain shipping?", Applejack asked. "Shipping is when two ponies are paired together by these weird creatures called humans.", Pinkie said. Twilight opened her mouth to argue again, but Rarity put her hoof over Twilight's muzzle, and just shook her head. "So like I was saying," Pinkie said glancing at everypony else, "heterosexual shipping is one of the two types of shipping. It's when a mare is paired with a stallion. Stallion with a mare, etcetera. But Homosexual shipping. That's when a mare is with another mare." Rainbow looked more interested as soon as the second type of shipping left Pinkie's mouth. "So just ta be clear this has nothing to do with boats?", Applejack asked. "No," Pinkie answered. Pinkie looked at her watch, "wow, one whole hour has passed? Didn't see that coming."