//------------------------------// // Where it begins... At the end // Story: Empty // by DawnSkies //------------------------------// You can't tell where it starts. You don't want to do so but you know there is something different in her. The way she looks at you, her smile... Even in her eyes. She isn't there. Not truly there at least. She is different this time. Your hoof rests on hers as you are wondering what started it all. Was it you? Was it her, something between you both. You take a sip of your drink. Trying to talk. One year together, of happy memories. Of love and a sense of belonging... Coming down to this. What words, if any can you use. How would you know, there are no guides for this, no rules... Nothing. You say what your head wants and your heart breaks even more. More than when she broke it. "So you're breaking up with me" She says to you, shooting a glare into you. It puts on on edge to be made out as if doing such a thing would be wrong. No it is the right thing to do... Right? Someone isn't loyal to you, your partner to go behind you back like that. After all the messages you saw behind her back that you weren't even meant to see that led to this. Yeah... This is what you need to do. End it. Move on. She doesn't deserve you... But, it doesn't hurt her. She said it more as an inconvenience to her. You clear your throat to speak. "That's what..." You can't finish. How can you. You know why you didn't do it when you found out. You remember the night she said she couldn't live without you. You remember what she's been through. It's almost like you can see it, she wants to hurt herself. Kill herself but doesn't want to hurt you. Not that way anyway. Just hurt you enough so you don't love her no more. To hate her so she can do the unthinkable and you wouldn't care one bit, she knows she wont be missed, not by her family, by her friends... By you. She's wrong. And you have to fight through it. For her, even if she can't. So its what you do, for her. No longer is this about you, but about her. You know you're the only thing keeping her from doing it, hoping she'll get better. Your life can get worse, you can get tired and run down but so long as your saving someone that's the price to pay. No matter how long it takes nor how much it takes. You can see it too. In her eyes is the sadness she carries, she wants you to break. She loves you too much to leave you behind caring the way you do. But you wont leave. Even the nights she cries into your chest as you stroke her mane. How much she apologies. You can't forgive her. You say that you can but it's pain you'll carry. Pain that makes you continue knowing you can't let go. Time passes and mistakes are made. She can get better but never learning, always messing up and not treating you right. This time you tell yourself. You'll be the stallion you know you are and get it over with and move on. But its like the first time... You can't do it to her. You can't. This time you're too weak to say the words. At least. Not to her face, not while you look into her eyes. So once you both part ways you type a message, not even calling. How pathetic. You stare at the message. You realize how easy it is this way... The cowards way out. But now you understand why ponies do it this way. "We're through... I'm done with the way you treat me, you say you love me but you tell yourself lies. I am done being screwed around by you." "Goodbye" You read it once more, you can't even word it any other way. You can't think. Words you wanted to say just written in front of you on your phone. Your hoof hovers over the button "Goodbye" You think. Send. That's it... It's that easy? You go onto your computer moving your hoof to you mouse to navigate to the internet. You know what to do now. So you block her on everything, making sure you can try to forget... To move on. So you stand there, your legs feeling heavy. That empty feeling creeping in, she's gone. You did it. Ring! Ring! You look over to your phone Ring! Ring! It's her. Ring! Ring! You know you can't answer, this is about you now. Ring! Ring! It was unhealthy to be in that relationship, answering her will only make it worse. Ring! Ring! "I can't talk to her... I need to just ignore it." You tell yourself. Ring! Ring! It's stopped. Silence. You reach for the phone as you collapse onto your bed. You think what she could of wanted to say. Suddenly the phone vibrates. "One new voicemail" It reads. You call to listen to it. "What harm can there be, I'm not talking to her." You assume, how wrong you are. She cries on the other end of the phone. You have never heard her this sad, this choked up... And... well. Broken. It carries on, her cries tearing into you. Your sobbing just hearing this one way conversation. You have to ring her back. You must do. It's the wrong thing to do your head tries to tell you. But your heart has already made the decision for you as you call back... "You're weak" You hear a voice say... It could be your conscious, hell it could be all you friends yelling at you about how badly you're handling this. "I am weak"