Relationships are Evil

by TheTimeSword


Chapter 18: Tea

The purple alicorn trotted up to the front door and gave a swift knock. As she stepped back to wait for the door to open, the draconequus spoke up, “I don’t see why it couldn’t just be us two. A little wine, perhaps some mood music, and a few bushels of cotton candy. It would be wonderful!”

“Discord, this isn’t a date. We’re having lunch with friends, that’s all,” she sternly replied. “Also, cotton candy?”

“What? It’s delicious, doesn’t stick to your teeth, and you can share with someone special.”

“Oh. So I’m special? Perhaps if you keep with the sweet sentiments this might actually turn into a date.”

The draconequus began to blush, then stuttered, “Yes, well, I-I… Uhm. You’re pretty.”

“Really?” she replied as she knocked on the door once more. “That’s all you’ve got?”

He gave a shrug and crossed his arms, tapping his foot in an impatient manner.

Sounds of clattering finally came close to the door, followed by the unlocking and shifting of bolts. The door swung inward with a white unicorn greeting the two. She clasped her hooves around the alicorn’s neck and wrapped her in a hug. A black unicorn stood behind the mare, waiting patiently for them to finish their greeting.

“Twilight, it feels like it has been forever! I’m so glad you mentioned doing a little get together.”

As the two let go, Sombra stepped forward past the mare, greeting the chaotic spirit. “Hello Discord. Do you want a little hug too?” he said with a grin.

“Leave the bad jokes to me,” replied Discord, extending his hand to the dark unicorn who politely placed out a hoof and shook the hand. “Though, a hug from a certain alicorn on the other hand…”

Rarity raised an eyebrow to the strange, specific words used by the draconequus. She then looked to Twilight who rolled her eyes and gave a teasing gesture. Before the white unicorn could invite them in, Sombra moved in between the two mares, grabbing onto the alicorn’s hoof and giving it a kiss.

“Oh my!” Twilight said with surprise, blushing from the stallion’s actions.

Discord folded his arms and looked away, causing the two mares to giggle with a spiteful thought. Once they finished their teasing and greetings, they were courteously let into the fashionista’s home and given a seat at her kitchen table.

“I thought about inviting a few others,” Rarity said. And then, after a pause, “I decided against it though.”

“I don’t mind. I am a bit surprised you didn’t invite the latest couple,” Twilight replied, taking a sip of tea from the cup that was placed in front of her.

Discord sat with elbows on the table and his knuckles pressed deeply into his cheeks. The pink pony and her new partner were the talk and gossip of the mares in their little circle – and he was already over it. Of course, it didn’t help that they were brought together by his competing rival.

The dark unicorn placed a cup of tea in front of Discord – who gave a tired eye – and then sat down in his chair. He listened for a moment as the mares gossiped, taking sips every so often. His interest in the conversation waned as they spoke of relationships among their friends. He began to whisper to Discord, only to stop himself as the two mares became riled.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Rarity’s harsh question caused both the males to perk up, intrigued by the disdain of her inflection.

“What do you mean, what do I mean? You turned him down, didn’t you? That’s what he told me,” replied the alicorn with a look of confusion.

She placed a hoof against her forehead, trying to comprehend Twilight’s words. “I never told him anything – I mean I know I shouldn’t have led him on, but I certainly didn’t tell him a flat out no.”

“Yes you did,” Sombra replied, catching the attention of the others. “I was there when he confessed his attraction to you. Don’t you remember? We went to the spa afterwards, about three Tuesdays ago.”

The two mares looked at each other and then back to the stallion. “I’ve been in Canterlot for the last few Tuesdays, preparing for my new fall line. There’s no way I was even here,” Rarity explained.

Sombra had hung out with Rarity on the previous Tuesday, and a few other Tuesdays as well. How had he never seen or heard her leave for Canterlot, and how was she still in Ponyville? A look of shock and horror filled his face as he realized who he had actually been with.

“If you were in Canterlot, and yet you were also here in Ponyville, then that means…” Twilight frowned at the idea.

“It’s pretty obvious that it’s Chrysalis in disguise,” Discord surmised as he snapped his fingers, a paper mask with Chrysalis’s face drawn on in crayon appeared in his hand.

“That would make the most sense, though I cannot allow it to continue.” The alicorn slumped against the table, disheartened by the turn of events. “I thought she was making progress like Sombra or Tirek…” her voice trailed off.

Rarity bit at her bottom lip and squirmed in her seat. “I know this may sound a bit silly, but I believe she’s done me a favor. I’m uncertain if anything would have sparked between me and Spike, but I fear his infatuation with me may have caused a rift at some later point,” she said. Then, after a pause, “I couldn’t do that to him. Even though what Chrysalis did was wrong, I don’t think she should necessarily be punished.”

The alicorn gave a nod, understanding the situation. I guess all those talks did sink in, she thought. Before she could even give her reply, Sombra tapped a hoof on the table.

“Actually, there’s something you all should know about Chrysalis,” he mentioned, “and me.”

“I am so glad I agreed to come today!” Discord shouted with glee. “After this we get to vote someone off the island right? Spoiler, I’m voting for Chryssi!”

Sombra frowned and rolled his eyes, giving a long, drawn out sigh as he spoke, “This is going to sound bad, and that’s kind of because it is. I know I should have told you sooner, but I’ve been so caught up in reforming and the thing at the Crystal Empire, and well…”

“Whatever it is, you can trust us,” Rarity replied, placing a hoof on his.

He gave a smile and clasped her hoof in both of his. “Well, mine and Chrysalis’s arrival weren’t unplanned. She’s the one that brought me back from the brink of death, and she’s the one that came up with the plan to overthrow you, Twilight. One of us were supposed to become your partner, then we would move in to take all of Equestria in your name. She and I would then become king and queen of all the land.”

“That’s a pretty terrible thing, Sombra,” Twilight said with freight in her voice, but a calm look on her face – as if she had expected that from the very start.

“I know. After the Crystal Empire I realized I didn’t want to be part of it. I have not talked to her alone since we’ve returned. Now that I know she has been playing us, especially me, I’m afraid she might be planning something more.”

The two mares sat with pondering, puzzled looks. Sombra felt their gaze as he began to sweat, worried that this revelation would jeopardize his position with the group of mares. Before he could even attempt to defend himself, Rarity placed both hooves against his two, clutching them together. A smile lit on her face as he looked into her eyes, letting him know she had already forgiven him.

“I’m sure she already figured out that you’re compromised, Sombra, and has already set in motion her backup plans,” Discord spoke up.

“What do you mean?” asked the alicorn.

“Come now Twilight. Every villain has a multitude of plans in case one fails, a backup plan to the backup plan. Remember my bramble vines? Sombra here probably has a few plans he was going to use against the bug queen if things went south. I’m sure even your little friend Snorelight has a failsafe,” he explained as he sipped his tea.

Sombra’s mouth fell open, surprised by the insight the whacky draconequus gave. “Whoa, that’s… that’s actually pretty true. I mean, I’ve changed now, but I definitely did have a few.”

“Well, if I didn’t have to dispense punishment for what she did to Spike, I do now.” Twilight said as she stood up from the table. The dark unicorn gulped, the look of dread on his face caught Twilight’s eye. “Don’t worry.” She shook her hoof at him. “You’re not going to be punished too, Sombra. You’ve been nothing but helpful.”

He gave a sigh of relief. “Thank you for that,” he replied.

“It’s about time we get to do something! Some excitement!” Discord slammed a fist on the table, cups rattling and shaking.

“Well I’m glad you’re enthusiastic, because you’re going to help me,” Twilight said, a snarky grin on her face.

Discord pulled on his horns, a smile from ear to ear. His body trembled with joy, excited that one of the other contenders for Twilight’s heart were about to be pulled from the race, and he was going to be there for it.

“Ehrm, are you sure you don’t want somepony else’s assistance, Twilight?” Rarity concernedly asked. “Perhaps one with less of a vendetta against the changeling queen?” She nudged her head in Sombra’s direction, hoping Twilight would understand the meaning.

“Actually, that’s why I’ve picked Discord. It’s not going to be a normal punishment, in fact, it wasn’t even a punishment to begin with.”

Rarity cocked her head, confused by the alicorn’s words. “Wait, was she already in trouble?”

“No. But to her, having Discord there will be punishment enough,” Twilight replied.

“Are we going to stick her in a piñata and beat her with sticks? Oh what am I thinking, you’ve probably already got the piñata ready! I’m rubbing off on you, Twilight!” Discord grabbed and raised the alicorn into the air, delighted by the very thought.

“Put me down Discord! We’re not going to hurt her!”

He frowned as he placed her back onto the floor, then asked, “Well then what are we going to do?”

“We’re going to visit her home, her hive.”