//------------------------------//
// -29- Friday Part: Six 
// Story: The Anthropologist 
// by Weavers of Dreams 
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The name Jade Counter would probably bring up images of the far east. Exotic foods and drinks. Wall scrolls covered in Asian calligraphy, or pictures depicted in India ink. Perhaps even oriental music playing in the background, with maybe a fountain or a koi pond if the owner was wealthy enough. Yeah, silly humans, this isn't earth(1).

The Jade Counter was more akin to a Midwestern American diner. Everything was so starchy, sugary, fatty, greasy or overly caffeinated that it would make any health nut scream in terror as their stomachs forcefully dragged them inside. The service was fast, the waiters rude, and the food to die for. It's namesake came from the fact that it had no tables, but rather just a long counter that encompassed the kitchen, which was painted green to help hide the stains. You either sat down or ordered take out, any loiterers would be evicted from the premises, and any unattended children would be given a free espresso and a kitten(2).

Carrying a small gift bag on her back, Lyra pushed open the door and quickly scanned for the family. Which didn't take long. Bon Bon and Twist were sitting on either side of Noteworthy, seemingly waiting for their food to arrive. She quickly made her presence known with a cheerful wave, before taking a seat next to the little filly, giving her a good-natured noogie in the process.

"Auntie Lyra," Twist squealed, hugging the mint mare. "I'm tho glad you're here."

Lyra chucked and hugged her back. "Aw, did you think I wouldn't come, Twister? Shame on you."

"We got thee Mithter and Mitheth Kaminthki'th baby today," Twist quickly explained, pushing away from the hug.

"Oh," Lyra said in realization. "You wanted to tell me all about it, didn't you?"

"She's been going on an on about it all day," Noteworthy stated, patting his filly's head. "It's about time you got your ear talked off same as the rest of us."

Lyra giggled. "Sure, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. What did you think of Isaac?"

Twist lifted her hooves to her cheeks, smooshing them as she sucked in a big breath of air.

"Order something or get out."

Lyra glared over the counter at the waiter, a salty looking stallion in a greasy apron. But, she knew and respected the rules. "I'll take three pieces of French toast, a breakfast pancake, a side of mushroom tomato soup, and a root beer." Any place that served breakfast all day was inarguably awesome. She looked at the other three. "I take it you've already ordered?"

They nodded.

"Just before you arrived, actually," Bon Bon said as she took a sip of some water.

"Okay. Now what were going to say, Twist?" She encouraged the little filly, who seemed slightly put out from the interruption.

"He wath tho cute," Twist began excitedly. "He didn't do much. But they thaid that'th becauth human babieth take longer to d-de-develop than pony babieth."

Lyra nodded in confirmation. "This is true. It'll most likely be months before he's able to move on his own. I trust you were gentle?"

Bon Bon chuckled. "She was. They even let her hold him."

Twist quickly bobbed her head up and down. "Yeah. He'th big, too. Kinda heavy. But hith thkin wath tho thoft and thmooth."

"Grilled cheese and celery, daisy and turnip hash with black coffee, and the winter salad," the waiter suddenly called out, setting the dishes in front of Twist, Noteworthy, and Bon Bon respectively. Then he addressed the filly directly. "Your strawberry milkshake will be done soon."

Twist waited until he left before continuing her story. "And he wath thquithy too. Kinda lumpy ath well."

"That's all the baby fat," Lyra explained with a smile.

"Here's your root beer." The waiter gave the mint mare a large mug of soda and ice.

Lyra took a sip and smiled. "He'll slowly start to use it up to increase his muscle mass as he gets older and moves around more." She used her magic to lift the gift bag up onto the counter, patting it with a hoof. "I stopped by toy store just a bit ago and picked up a couple gifts for him. A blanket and onesie animal costume. You can never have too many of those."

Bon Bon nodded. "At least it wasn't a rattle or a mobile. You would not believe how many ponies and humans thought they were being original."

"We're not exactly innocent in that regard either, honey," Noteworthy chuckled. His wife turned a bit red and puffed out her cheeks.

"Oh, hush."

Lyra put a hoof to her mouth and chuckled. "Really? Does this mean that I'm the only original thinker in this town?"

Bon Bon grumbled a bit.

"I brought a teddy bear," Twist stated with a broad smile.

"Wise choice," the mint mare said, rubbing her head. "Stuffed animals are always acceptable."

"As expressed by your room," Bon Bon piped up with a smirk.

Lyra was unfazed. "I'm a child at heart. Besides, the only thing that could possibly be wrong with having a bunch of plushies is that you refuse to snuggle them."

"Snuggle?" Bon Bon twisted a corner of her brow up. "Lyra, Sometimes I wonder if your mattress and blankets are even necessary."

Lyra quickly accepted her own dish from the waiter before he had a chance to say anything, along with Twist's milkshake, which she passed to the candy-colored filly. "Of course they are, Bonny. The blankets keep them from falling off the bed and onto the floor, and the mattress keeps them from getting too smooshed."

Bon Bon munched her salad and rolled her eyes. "At least you keep them clean."

It was true. Lyra took them to the local laundromat once a month, ever since the incident with Bon Bon's washing machine(3). She even restuffed them if the stuffing was getting a little too compacted. Which was quite a spectacle, considering some of them were of the life-size variety.

The unicorn grabbed a bottle of maple syrup and quickly drowned her French toast, before dunking her pancake in the soup and letting it sit. She took another sip from of her root beer and grinned at Twist. "So, anything else you want to tell me about the baby?"

Twist nodded, wiping away the cheese that covered her mouth before speaking. "He only had a little tuft on hith head. Even leth than hith daddy had."

The three adults couldn't help but giggle at that.

"Yeah," Noteworthy said. "Humans don't have much in the way of fur. Which is why they wear clothes, Twist. To keep from freezing to death."

"Among other reasons," Lyra added in, but didn't extrapolate. Twist looked confused while her parents looked away for a moment. "Anyway, it was really very nice of them to let you hold their baby, Twist. I hope you thanked them."

The filly nodded. "Of courth. Mitheth Kaminthki even gave me a cookie afterwardth. It wathn't ath good ath mommy'th though. But, thtill tathty."

"No one makes better cookies than a mother, Twister," Lyra said just before biting into her French toast. After a moment of chewing, she swallowed and gave the filly a sticky nuzzle to the forehead. "Don't ever forget that."

Twist chuckled as she grabbed a napkin to wipe away the syrup. "Are you gonna become a momma thomeday too, Auntie Lyra?"

Lyra froze, a second helping of the heavenly delight halfway in her mouth. She slowly turned and looked at the filly, and then at her parents, who wore certain unreadable expressions. Then she turned back to the hovering morsel and stuffed it in her mouth before leaning her head on one hoof.

"Thih ith really becoming a theme ithn't it?" she spoke around a mouthful of French toast.

(1) This message has been brought to you by the Department of Anthropology.
(2) This last part terrified many parents of already hyperactive offspring.
(3) It involved parasprites, a ukulele, six ounces of baking soda, and vinegar.