//------------------------------// // In Over Your Head: A Most Dastardly Foe // Story: Paul's Peculiarly Puny Practice Pieces // by PaulAsaran //------------------------------// A Most Dastardly Foe Prompt: "In Over Your Head" Story Placement: 42/63 Princess Celestia. She Who Brought Forth the Light. Thousand-year ruler of Equestria, and one of the most powerful creatures in the known world. Her feats were legendary, her magic unparalleled, her word law. And this morning, she sat across from the greatest foe she’d ever known. Never before had her wits been so challenged. To think, this morning her only desire had been to have a light breakfast and relax. Nothing amazed her quite so much as the swiftness with which disaster might strike. For that was what she faced today: disaster beyond imagining. She licked her lips in anticipation and narrowed her eyes at her smiling foe. Oh, the foul creature feigned innocence well enough, but Celestia could feel the waves of guilty pleasure radiating from her. She would need all her cunning, every scrap of information regarding her opponent to win this round. Magic was out of the question. Her foe was practically her equal and the potential for collateral damage was too high. This required discretion, for if word got out the press would be her enemy’s greatest weapon. No guards, then. Or any outside help, for that matter. And Celestia wasn’t so ignorant as to believe she could match her rival through mere physical combat. The very idea was laughable. Words. Words would win this battle. Words and subtlety. She began with small talk. Many an unprepared diplomat skipped this part, failing to recognize the vast importance of it. It brought the risk of ease, and allowed one to size up an opponent. Through such casual conversation as the pleasantness of the morning, Celestia could gauge her foe's skill in the arena of debate. The pony sitting across from her took up the conversation without missing a beat. Hesitation indicated weakness, so this was unfortunate. Of course, the easy response could signify an ignorance towards the nature of things, but Celestia had no intention of underestimating the danger set before her. Tea. Tea had helped her solve wars in the past, surely it could help with this. She took a dainty sip, then dared to bring up the truth of the matter. Nothing direct, of course. Just enough to observe a reaction. Said reaction was nothing short of perfect. So perfect, Celestia had to take a longer sip to buy time. Letting her anger show wouldn’t do at this critical juncture. How could her opponent brush by the topic without even the slightest tell? It was like talking to a filly who didn’t realize she was killing her pet frog! Except in this case, Celestia felt like the frog. Oh no, she was going for it. Celestia bit her lip, mind working frantically. This was all going far too quickly. If she didn’t react soon, and properly, all would be lost in a matter of seconds! Was this pony so cunning, so vicious as to rip her hope out from under her without giving it a chance to ignite? Panic coursed through her mind. In her hurry to turn the tide of battle, she blurted something out. It was an offering, a gift, a sacrifice, but if it prevented this failure, then… It was over. Celestia sagged, tears welling in her eyes as she witnessed the totality of her defeat. She would have no choice but slink to her throne and entertain the public, pretending that nothing was wrong. They’d all stare at her, grinning and happy and ignorant of the tragedy of this dour morning. Oh, how could they ever understand her pain? Her foe stood, bade her good morning and turned away from the table. Just before departing the site of her victory, the villain turned back to her. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Celestia.” Luna’s lips quirked into the smallest of smiles. “Was that the last slice of cake?”