//------------------------------//
// Wisenheimer Words 
// Story: Peace Porridge Hot 
// by Metool Bard 
//------------------------------//

"So, what prank are we gonna pull on those punks next?  Quicksand trap?  Disguises?"

Celestia was rather calm as Gilda flew around her excitedly, but she said not a word.  Her brow was crinkled in thought, and she seemed only vaguely aware of her surroundings.  Gilda soon took note of this.

"Why are you being so serious all of a sudden?" she asked. "I thought this was gonna be a fun pranking spree."

"Oh, it still is," said Celestia. "But you know what they say.  It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.  I'm trying to figure out a way to prevent it from getting to that point."

Part of Gilda wanted to scoff at such a pacifistic tactic, but she resisted the urge.  Instead, she shrugged.

"Hey, as long as we keep those punks away from the Dragon Lord, I don't care how we do it," she said. "We still on their trail, Strongheart?"

"We haven't left it," Little Strongheart replied, keeping her nose to the ground. "They should be just up ahead."

Celestia looked up and raised an eyebrow. "To whom are you referring, Little Strongheart?  The Dragon Lord, or the poachers?"

Little Strongheart turned her head. "The Dragon Lord, of course.  Why do you ask?"

Celestia simply pointed with her hoof.  Little Strongheart took a glance, and she immediately saw Celestia's point.  There were Isabelle and Pepito, no more than a few meters away.  Gilda smirked and cracked her knuckles.

"Alright.  Let's give 'em a real surprise," she said.

"Actually, I have a different idea," said Celestia. "We won't need any tools."

Gilda blinked. "Then, how are we gonna prank 'em?"

"There's more than one way to core an apple," said Celestia with a wink. "Just leave this to me and watch closely.  You may learn something."

She moved on forward while Gilda scratched her head.

"Is she always this cryptic?" she asked Little Strongheart.

Little Strongheart shrugged. "Don't ask me.  I don't know her all that well.  But if she has an idea, I think we can trust her."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Gilda conceded. "I kinda promised myself that I'd give ponies the benefit of the doubt, so I'm just gonna let her do her thing.  If it doesn't work, we'll be able to bail her out."

Little Strongheart giggled. "That might be a big if.  I've heard plenty of stories about Princess Celestia."

Gilda snickered as well. "I hear ya, sister.  Honestly, I'm more worried about that lobster guy.  He's pretty shifty.  I'm gonna be watching him like a hawk."

"I'll keep my eyes open as well," said Little Strongheart.  With that, the two of them rushed to Celestia's side.


***


Isabelle sniffed the air several times and scowled. "My brother's scent.  He must be nearby."

Pepito blinked. "We no looking for your brother, Señorita Isabelle."

"I realize that, you idiot," Isabelle growled. "But we have to consider the possibility that he's going to be involved."

"You no want him to get involved?"

Isabelle snorted. "It'd be another headache that I don't need.  He and those Dragoons ruined my ambitions once; I won't let them do it again."

Pepito rubbed the side of his head. "I thought you say it my fault."

"I-it's both your faults," Isabelle sputtered. "Sh-shut up, Pepito.  We've got a job to do."

Pepito sighed. "Sí, señorita."

He continued skittering behind her when he noticed Celestia approaching them.  He tapped Isabelle's shoulder.

"Eh, señorita?  We got company," he said.

Isabelle turned and glared at Celestia. "You.  Why are you out here with the griffon and the buffalo?"

"We cannot allow you to capture the Dragon Lord," Celestia stated plainly. "She's a valued friend."

Isabelle laughed. "A friend?  You must be joking.  Dragons don't have friends."

"What about Dragon Magi?"

Isabelle smacked Pepito upside the head. "Don't correct me."

"Once Lord Ember's rule is solidified, things will change," said Celestia. "And you're acting against that change."

Isabelle scoffed. "I don't give one measly pebble about whatever you're babbling about," she said, drawing her weighted lasso. "All I care about is that you're standing in our way.  Pepito, ready your weapons."

"¿Qué?"

Isabelle groaned. "Aliste sus armas, tonto."

"Right, sí.  I understand."

Pepito took out his staple traps, eyeing Gilda.  Gilda stared back at him while Little Strongheart pawed the ground.  Celestia, however, simply smiled.

"My my.  I didn't anticipate this," she said coyly. "I guess we just have to surrender."

Gilda did a double take.  She wanted to object, but part of her wanted to see where this was going.  Little Strongheart noticed Gilda's reaction and held out her hoof.

"We agreed to let her handle this," she whispered.

"I know," Gilda whispered back. "Doesn't make this any less weird."

Isabelle, however, had no clue that anything was amiss.  She flashed her teeth at Celestia.

"Hmph.  Even the mighty pony princess knows when she is bested," she gloated.

"Indeed, you have got us," said Celestia, still smiling. "Would you like to strike us down now, or wait until you get home?"

"Strike them now, strike them now!" Isabelle commanded.

"Calm down, young pup.  Your companion doesn't have to strike you now."

Isabelle snarled and got right into Celestia's face. "Listen, potro!  I don't answer to you or anyone else in Equestria!  I only answer to me!  And if I want Pepito to strike me now, then I say he should strike me now!"

She whipped back towards Pepito. "So strike me now!"

Pepito blinked in confusion. "¿Qué?"

"You heard me!"

"Sí, I hear you.  I no think you hear yourself."

Isabelle grabbed Pepito by his eyestalks. "¡Escucha, langosta estúpida!  ¡O ahora pulso me, o le lastimaré!"

"Okay, okay!  I strike, I strike!" Pepito exclaimed.

Isabelle smirked and dropped Pepito to the ground. "Good.  Maybe you're not as dumb as you— hey!"

She was interrupted by a staple trap pinning her leg to the ground.  When she glowered at Pepito, he threw up his claws.

"You say strike you!  I do what you say!" he said defensively.

Gilda burst out laughing, clutching her stomach as she wriggled about in the sky. "O-oh man!  Th-that was ace!"

Isabelle growled as she freed herself from the trap. "Okay, pony.  Let's try that again."

Celestia shrugged. "Very well.  Would you like to strike us now, or wait until you get home?"

"I wish to strike you now."

"Calm down, little pup.  He doesn't have to strike you now."

"Ah-ha!" Isabelle exclaimed, jabbing her paw into Celestia's face. "I'm wise to your tricks, pony.  It's not 'he doesn't have to strike you' now;' it's 'he doesn't have to strike me now.'  Well, I say he does have to strike me now!"  She turned back to Pepito. "So strike me now!"

Pepito deadpanned. "¿Seriamente?"

"Do I look serious to you?!  Now go on and strike— ow!"

Pepito maintained his bemused glare as he threw his staple traps at Isabelle once more.  Gilda was roaring with laughter.  Little Strongheart, however, noticed something odd.

"You seemed a little too willing to go along with that," she said.

Pepito shrugged. "It only way she learn.  I try and look out for her, but she no listen to me.  She think I stupid."

"Because you are stupid," Isabelle growled, trying to pry herself free. "You keep saying we shouldn't be trying to capture the Dragon Lord.  You're letting untold fame and fortune slip right through your claws!"

"I say that because I feel something not right!" Pepito protested. "But you no care!  You just, um..."

He paused for a moment to sift through his dictionary.

"Jelly-us!  That what you are!"

Isabelle's face turned bright red. "How dare you!  Y-you honestly think I'm jealous of my stupid big brother?!"

"Sí, I think that!  Because you trying to be outlaw like him!"

"I-it's more complicated than that!  You wouldn't understand!"

"How do you know?"

Isabelle whipped around at Celestia, who was observing the entire exchange.

"Y-you stay out of this!" she sputtered.

"Why?  I'm curious," said Celestia. "I'll admit, I don't know either of you very well.  But I'm rather good at reading people, and I can tell that Pepito here only has your best interests at heart."

"Sí, that true," said Pepito with a nod. "But you no listen to me because you think I stupid.  I..."  He looked in his dictionary. "Frust-traded.  I no speak English well, but that no mean I no try."

"And when your efforts go unnoticed you get angry and end up playing the fool to appease her," Celestia mused. "I've seen this kind of thing before."

Pepito looked up at Celestia. "You very smart."

Isabelle began to tremble. "Sh-she's not smart.  Neither are you, Pepito.  You don't understand!  Diamond Dogs don't leave the pack!  When Toro left to make his own name, it broke my heart!  It's as if he didn't care about how his own family felt!"

"Did you tell him that?" asked Celestia.

Isabelle ignored Celestia and continued her tirade. "Though apparently, he does care how I feel, because whenever we face each other down, he can never bring himself to hurt me!  Not even once!  He's so confusing, it just makes my blood boil!"

"Did you tell him that?"

"And to top it all off, he ends up ditching the outlaw schtick and becomes this noble dragon-loving crusader!  A Diamond Dog, befriending dragons!  But does he get punished for it?!  Of course not, don't be stupid!  He gets all this fame and glory while I get nothing!"

"Did you tell him that?"

Isabelle finally turned towards Celestia. "What do you think you would've done in my situation, huh?"

Celestia sighed and rested her cheek on her hoof. "Could you tell me something?"

"What?"

"Do you ever listen to other people when they talk?"

"No, she no do that," said Pepito sadly. "Believe me, I try."

Before Isabelle could protest, Celestia placed a hoof on her shoulder.

"Well, maybe that's your problem," she said sagely. "Life is not an echo chamber.  If you just surround yourself with people who agree with you and ignore everything else, you'll never grow or find solutions to the simplest of problems."

Isabelle trembled. "Sh-shut up.  I-I don't have to take this.  I-I need to be famous like my brother.  If he can do it, why can't I?"

"That isn't a bad goal," said Celestia. "But consider this.  You know your former pack is after the Dragon Lord.  Why not work with your brother and stop them?  That would make you a hero, and take it from me, heroes are quite famous."

Isabelle averted her eyes. "But, he won't listen to me."

"How do you know that?  Have you tried actually talking to him?  Have you tried actually listening to Pepito's advice?"

Isabelle sniffled.  She tried to form a response, but no words came out.  Pepito skittered over to her and gave her a hug.

"You know pony is right," he said. "And pony also have good idea.  Toro no bad guy.  He listen better than me.  We go talk to him and protect Dragon Lord."

Isabelle didn't say anything.  She simply stared at the ground, letting a few tears fall as she tried to process what was happening.  Gilda let out a small laugh.

"Well, I'll be.  Ponies really are great at this kind of thing," she said. "I'm not gonna lie; that was pretty awesome.  She got them to stop going after the Dragon Lord without even landing a single blow."

Little Strongheart smiled and wiped a tear from her eye. "That's not just a pony thing, Gilda.  That's diplomacy at work.  Actions might be louder than words, but sometimes, words are a lot cleaner."

"Yeah, well.  That's why I wouldn't make a good diplomat," said Gilda with a self-mocking chuckle.

"And what about Dragon Lord Ember?"

Gilda stopped laughing right then and there. "Okay, good point."  She sighed. "I hope she found some answers about that Seth guy.  I can only imagine how scared she is."

"Much like yourself?" asked Little Strongheart.

Gilda blushed. "Heh, got me.  But, this mission isn't about me.  It's about her.  And since these two ex-dragon poachers aren't going to be causing any more trouble, I think we should go ahead and group up with her."

Celestia nodded. "I'm inclined to agree, Gilda."

"As am I," Little Strongheart concurred. "C'mon, they should be just up ahead.  Let's—"

Before anyone could make a move, a grey flame burst from the sand.  Following the flame was none other than Seth, his eyes narrowed.

"So, you continue to interfere, even when the Dragon Lord is shown as weak and untrustworthy?" he snarled. "Such simple-minded fools."

Celestia's face darkened. "You were spying on us.  I knew there was something wrong."

"Y'know, it's punks like you that give Lord Ember a reason to shake things up, Seth," Gilda said, pounding her fist into her palm.

Isabelle's eyes widened. "Wait, that's Seth?!  We were working for a dragon this entire time?!"

Pepito sighed. "I no say anything.  It too easy."

Seth snorted as the grey flame floated beside him. "I cannot allow you to interfere any further.  The Bloodstone Scepter will be mine!  Temhkas!  Lay waste to these interlopers!"

The grey flame let out a roar and turned into a large dragon made of flames.  Pepito gulped.

"I think we should leave," he said.

Celestia frowned. "That's what he wants us to do.  He wants us to lead him right to the Dragon Lord."

"Then, what do we do?" asked Gilda.

There was a spark in Celestia's eye as she powered up her horn. "Well, we're in a desert, aren't we?  And the sun has been known to play tricks on the minds of desert travelers."

For a moment, the sun's rays shined even brighter than before, as if it were high noon.  Seth hissed and shielded his eyes.  When his vision returned, he saw several mirages of his foes dart off in all directions.  He snorted.

"Fancy yourself clever, do you?" he huffed. "Temhkas!  Summon our hunters!  They won't get away!"

Temhkas let out a powerful roar that shook the skies.  As the bounty hunters converged, Celestia led her small posse through the desert towards the land of the Dragon Magi.

Hang on tight and prepare yourself, Lord Ember, she thought. We're on our way, and we might be bringing some unwanted guests...