Discord Writes Fanfiction

by Sparkletop Rainbows

The Wacky Tale of Discordlandia

Discord sipped his tea, and took a bite of of the chocolate chip cookies Fluttershy made. "These cookies are wonderful, Fluttershy," he complimented.

"Thank you, Discord," Fluttershy said. "I have to leave in an hour, Twilight is expecting me."

"For what?" Discord asked.

"Twilight thought it was fun to do a little group activity to teach Starlight more about friendship. We each have to write our own little story, and share it out with each other. Twilight wants me to help Spike with a few chores so she can help Starlight," Fluttershy explained.

"Sounds fun, maybe I should join too," Discord said.

"Maybe you should check in with Twilight first," Fluttershy said.

"Surprising Twilight would be fun, wouldn't it?"

Fluttershy hesitated for a few moments, thinking of a reply. She finally answered, "well, alright, but don't try anything."

"Don't worry, I won't," Discord said with a smirk.

After Fluttershy left, Discord began his story. It took him a couple of hours, but by the time Fluttershy returned, he was done. After a week, it was finally time to present the stories at the Friendship Castle.

"Alright, girls, does everypony have their stories written?" Twilight asked.

A chorus of yeses came out from the crowd.

"Great! So who wants to share first?" Twilight asked.

"Perhaps I could," came a voice.

"Discord!?" Twilight exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I am your friend, aren't I? And don't you think it would be rude not to invite one of your friends to your events, Twilight?" Discord said.

"I don't want you to be a bad example to my student," Twilight said, her face displaying an angered expression. "So now if you would leave-"

"Once upon a time..." Discord began, interrupting Twilight.

In the great land of Discordlandia, there lived the all so great and powerful ruler named Emperor Discord. He was the most intelligent, most powerful, most greatest, most-"

"Just get on with it already!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

But Emperor Discord had a crisis to deal with. He always looked to his trusty adviser for help.

"Ah suggest we should evade their attacks. It's too dangerous, and a lotta ponies could get hurt," his adviser, Applejack said.

Before the great Emperor Discord could reply, a purple maned unicorn barged through the door. The damsel in distress, Rarity, cried out, "my life is ruined! They invaded my castle and spoiled all my dresses with... with... frosting!" Rarity burst into tears.

Applejack went to comfort the aristocrat. "It's alright, Rarity, they coulda taken more valuable treasures."

"But my most fabulous dresses are the most valuable treasures!" With that, Rarity was sobbing again.

"All these tears are spoiling my throne," Emperor Discord complained. "Servant!"

Out came a purple maned alicorn with in a maid outfit.

"Oh, come on!" Twilight interrupted angrily. "A maid?! Seriously?!"

Twilight the Maid came to clean Emperor Discord's throne.

Suddenly, a rainbow maned pegasus came through the door.

"Finally, we're getting to the good part," Rainbow Dash said.

"I say we go in and invade!" The head of the army, Rainbow Dash said.

"Invading is ah bad idea. They're gonna likely take us as prisoners. We should evacuate the kingdom," Applejack said.

"No way we're wimping out! We're gonna show 'em who's boss!" Rainbow Dash argued.

"Invading is foolish! They're too strong, and they're gonna wipe out all of the kingdom!" Applejack argued back.

The two ponies bickered back and forth.

"Um, I think we should just agree with Applejack," a shy, meek voice came out. "We don't want to hurt anypony, and we don't want anypony to get hurt." Fluttershy, the other aristocrat, stepped out. She was a sweet, kind friend of Discord who was gentle and nice.

"If Fluttershy says we shouldn't invade, then I say we shouldn't invade," Discord announced, agreeing with his friend.

A loud shot rang in the air. A cherry bomb hit Twilight, who was trying to make the throne look spotless.

"Look out!" Applejack yelled. The cherry bomb almost hit Twilight, but luckily Discord caught her in his arms. She looked up at him, blushing deep. It seemed that Twilight had a crush on Emperor Discord-

"I do NOT!" Twilight yelled, blushing profusely.

Rainbow Dash snickered. "Well it seems like you kinda do."

"What?! I-"

More cherry bombs attacked the kingdom, tearing it into shreds. Everypony ducked for cover.

Out from a big hole, there stood a pink, curly maned, earth pony. It was the ruthless Queen Pinkie.

"Give up, and we'll leave you unharmed," Queen Pinkie said. "Everypony should only practice Cupcake!"

"Never!" Rainbow Dash cried out from under one of the crumbling furniture.

"The Cupcake way is only way!" With that, Queen Pinkie charged towards the ponies. Her army went into the crumbling castle, trapping the huddled ponies. The canons were all fired up with cherry bombs.

"Wait! If you take us hostage, we won't give you your cupcake back!" Rainbow Dash threatened.

"You have The Great Cupcake?!" Queen Pinkie exclaimed. She called one her ponies and whispered. Pinkie gasped. "So you do hold The Great Cupcake!"

Rainbow Dash pulled a small cage. Inside was a tiny little cupcake.

"Oh great, wise one, you will soon not have to suffer. I will save you, The Great Cupcake," Queen Pinkie said, bowing down to the ground.

The Great Cupcake, or Starlight the Cupcake, squeaked and bounced around the cage.

"Surrender, or I will strike!" Rainbow Dash threatened once more. She opened the cage, and firmly but not so tightly grasped Starlight the Cupcake so she couldn't escape. She positioned the tiny cupcake so it would fall into her mouth.

"NOOO! DON'T EAT THE GREAT CUPCAAAAKE!" Pinkie yelled across the room. "I give up!"

"Good," Rainbow Dash began. "Now agree to form an alliance." She shoved a piece of paper in front of Pinkie, along with a quill for her to sign with. After Pinkie write her signature, Rainbow Dash released Starlight the Cupcake. She hobbled over to Pinkie on her tiny legs squeling in delight.

And from that day, Discordlandia was safe from harm, and continued to live happily for the rest of its days.

"Hey, wait," Spike said. "Where was I?"

"Oh, you weren't there," Discord replied nonchalantly. Spke drooped, frowning. His eyes started to water.

"But you will be in the next story," Discord said. Spike brightened at that.

Twilight sighed. "Sweet Celestia, not ag-"