//------------------------------// // Pinkie Pie vs. Rampage // Story: Maximares Rising // by Cydra //------------------------------// Maximares Rising Chapter 2: Pinkie Pie vs. Rampage Pinkie happily hopped her way through Ponyville...well, Ponyville according to Pinkie. Pinkie was one of those rare individuals who could know when they were in a dream and play around with it. She was also probably completely nuts but that probably just helped. "Morning, Twilight, beautiful day, isn't it?" asked Pinkie to a Twilight Sparkle with a very oversized head and glasses that were somehow too big for her eyes. "It is indeed beautiful, the atmospheric conditions are quite beneficial to the plant life and the temperature is the exact measurements for tepidness. Did you know that back in-" said Twilight before Pinkie honked Twilight's nose. "Blah blah blah yappity yap yap yakkity yak blather blather yap blah," continued Twilight, apparently not even noticing her change of vocabulary. Pinkie just giggled before continuing. Just another wonderful dream. This one itself had been going on for a little longer then was usual but Pinkie just assumed she was oversleeping again. Mrs. Cake would wake her up if she was needed. "Lalalalalalalala...ooh!" said Pinkie. The last part was in reaction to several pink bumper cars driving down the street. When they got to her, they started changing, extending parts and folding in panels until they had become robotic elephants. Pinkie stared at them for a few seconds before saying, "Yay! Pink robo-elephant parade!" The robo-elephants quickly aimed weapons at her...before with a flash of pink smoke, they turned into an assortment of instruments that the elephants began to play. Pinkie led the robo-elephants down the street when a voice from nowhere snapped, "What is this scrap? You're supposed to be reeling with shock, not leading a parade!" "Dreams aren't shocking, unless they have electric eels," said Pinkie as a pair of floating eels appear, "Or static socks," a pair of floating socks appeared, "Ooh, or maybe electric eel socks!" With a poof, the eels and socks merged into a combined pair. "That...is...IT! I CAN’T TAKE THIS SLAG ANYMORE! YOU'RE NUTS! COMPLETELY OFF THE RAILS! We're starting from scratch...AGAIN!" snapped the voice before muttering “and those elephants were my favorite malware too."‏ "Can I keep the eel socks?" asked Pinkie as they 'swam' around her head. "No, I'm going to erase all your datatrax so I can have a completely blank-" snapped the voice when the eel socks hit Pinkie with a dual electric zap that started making everything jittery and shaky. The experimenter glared as he looked at the protoform before a drone said, "With respect, sir. Are we sure using such an...unstable subject is a bright idea?"‏ "As extremely annoying as she is, she's one of the needed pieces to finding the Enigma," said the experimenter, "There has to be some way to shut down her insanity so she can be reprogrammed."‏ The drone shuddered at that thought before he said, "Oh, yes. Navigation says we are almost through the NSC lines but a battlegroups close by. We may need to shut down power to the lab and reroute to the cloak."‏ "Double the security around the lab," said the experimenter, "I don't want any one of those protoforms getting loose."‏ "As you command," said the drone before the lights began to flicker, briefly going out as power was rerouted, coming back on to reveal a lack of protoform. Pinkie opened her eyes to see that she was in some sort of metal pod. "Hmm, cozy, but I wanna stretch my legs," said Pinkie before hopping out. She looked around before hopping her way to a far doorway and out, ignoring the 'clank, clank, clank' she made as she hopped. As she hopped down the corridor she found herself in, she noticed that everything was made of metal and very big. "I wonder if I'm in a castle," said Pinkie. She hopped her way onwards before reaching a window and pausing. “Oooooh...pretty," she said in awe, seeing the vast star field through the view, several flashing dots seen. "Gummy, I don't think we're in Ponyville anymore. Gummy?" said Pinkie before looking around. "Oh, wait, that's right, I left him back at my place," she said before hopping along. An automated message said at that, "All crew...reminder: Silent running protocols are still live. Please also be aware that a protoform has escaped containment. Command orders are live capture," before it went silent again. "What's a protoform?" asked Pinkie before shrugging and kept hopping and humming to herself. She paused as several much larger figures ran past, apparently on their way somewhere before hopping into a vast room, bigger than where the Gala had taken place. "Oooh..." said Pinkie happily, hopping in and eyes the huge controls everywhere. It reminded her of Vinyl Scratch’s DJ gear, several sizes bigger than usual. "Hmm, there's only one way to determine what these things do: press every button until something happens," said Pinkie before hopping onto what looked like a chair before onto the control panel. A voice yelled at that, "What the slag? What are you doing?" before the floor tilted, the view through the viewport tilting as it apparently turned, into the path of a large globe covered in red lights. "Ooh, pretty," said Pinkie. A second later the 'dome' clinked against the viewport and the viewport turned into a blue fireball. "Oopsies," said Pinkie. “Emergency...cloaking field disabled...NSC battlegroup altering course to intercept trajectory. All crew to code red," said the voice from earlier. "Big oopsies," said Pinkie. "Hey, that’s the protoform, grab her!" called one of the large robots from earlier, he and his fellow lunging at Pinkie. "Better get going," said Pinkie jumping off the control panel. The two bots missed completely headbutting each other before Pinkie said happily, “That’s not how you play tag."‏ "Get back here!" snapped one of them, making a grab for Pinkie. "Silly, I’m not it," giggled Pinkie, hopping away as the robots gave chase. Pinkie proved to be annoying effective at evading them, even after they turned into race cars to chase her. The cars were almost finally on top of her before a side wall exploded, sending them flipping, a half dozen mechs striding through the hole, firing rapidly as more explosions were heard‏. "Wow, this is a bigger party than I thought," said Pinkie. "Warning: NSC boarding crews on multiple decks. All crew, shoot to kill," said the panicky voice as several of the new bots turned to look at her and took aim, two more running down a side corridor, chasing the two cars. Just then, there was an explosion and an automated voice said, "Warning, transwarp cell damaged. Transwarp field becoming erratic."‏ "Oh...that sounds bad,” gulped Pinkie before giggling as energy crackled from a wall onto her hoof, tickling her insides. "Heehee, that tickles," said Pinkie. "Warning: Breach in 10 seconds," said the voice at that, a rumbling felt through the floor. Just then, a bluish white energy started crackling around Pinkie. "What's going on?" asked Pinkie before there was a bright flash. Pinkie staggered as it felt like someone had spun her like a wheel before dropping her somewhere. And as soon as her eyes focused, she saw that the 'somewhere' was a swamp. "Ooooh...my head feels all tingly," groaned Pinkie, shaking her head to clear the weird lines from her vision. She looked down at the water and asked, "Are there any hydras in there? Any cragodiles?"‏ ‎A few reptilian eyes peered out the swamp at that, eyeing her. "Well, I better get to some place dry," said Pinkie before looking up at the cloudy sky, "I wonder if it will rain."‏ A second later something splashed up and chomped her, dragging her down. A few bubbles surfaced before a 'bleagh' was heard and she was spat into the sky with a 'wheeee'‏. After sailing through the air for a while, she ended up landing in a tree. "Wow, that was fun!" said Pinkie, "I wonder if I could do that again." As she was trying to figure out to get down from the tree, a white owl landed on a nearby branch. And it wasn't just a white owl, it was easily the biggest owl, heck, the biggest bird that Pinkie had ever seen, except that ostrich that she saw in Fluttershy's garden. “Ooooh...is this Everfree?" she asked happily, looking around before pausing, her position in the tree allowing her to see mountains and a savanna that were definitely not Equestria‏. The owl gave her a stern look before saying, "Leave." Pinkie tilted her head at that before saying, "I didn’t know owls could talk except to ask questions." "Maximals aren't welcome here," said the owl. "Oh, that's ok, I'm not a Maximal," said Pinkie, "I'd have to know what a Maximal is to be one, right?"‏ The owl cocked its own head at that. “You aren’t a Maximal? Are you a Predacon? You do not act like one," it said in a cold tone. "What does a Predacon act like?" asked Pinkie. The owl blinked before saying, "You really have no idea what I speak of."‏ "Nope, not a clue," said Pinkie happily. "Hmm...what brings you to this world, little lost Cybertronian?" the owl asked calmly‏. "A big flash," said Pinkie. "A big...flash? I trust there is more information than simply 'a big flash'," said the owl skeptically, wondering if the protoform in front of it has CPU damage. "Well, there was a big metal room, a bunch of metal guys fighting other metal guys," said Pinkie, "Oh, and I think we were in outer space."‏ The owl blinked slowly before making a tired 'hoo' before jumping as Pinkie said, "I don’t know, I’ve never met any of them."‏ The owl sighed before saying, "Here, let me try something," before closing its eyes. A second later, he screeched as he delved deep into the mind of the one he now knew was Pinkie...a world of pink elephants, chocolate rainclouds and enough of a substance called sugar to launch a star cruiser. The owl staggered before falling off his perch in an entirely unbecoming way. Pinkie looked down and asked, "Are you ok, Icebird? Wait, how did I know your name?"‏ "I’d ask how you managed to read my mind...but your mind is far from normal, Pinkamena Diane Pie," groaned Icebird from where he’d landed‏. "Really? What number am I thinking right now?" asked Pinkie. "You’re thinking of a substance called ice cream," said Icebird calmly. "Wow, you're good," said Pinkie, "So...where are we anyways? This doesn't look like Froggy Bottom Bog."‏ "That is because it is not. This swamp is on a planet on the galactic fringe," said Icebird, flapping back up. "So this is another planet?" asked Pinkie, looking around, "I always thought another planet would look more...other planety."‏ "I'm surprised you even know what yours looks like, given you are in your own little world,” muttered Icebird‏. Pinkie's stomach rumbled a bit before she asked, "Is there anything to eat around here?"‏ "There is plenty of food. You are an equine," said Icebird calmly. "But there's nothing around here but moss and grass," said Pinkie. "So? The grass is perfectly edible to equines," said Icebird loftily. "Ew, just plain grass? With no sugar or ketchup or anything?" asked Pinkie. "What is this 'ketchup'?" asked Icebird‏. "Wow, I really am on an alien planet," said Pinkie, "Don't you guys have any apples or berries or something here?"‏ "There are those, yes," said Icebird calmly. "Good, cause I'm really getting hungry," said Pinkie as she tried to wiggle her way out of the tree. "I think you should..." began Icebird before wincing as Pinkie landed with a crunch at the bottom of the tree. "It's ok, I landed on my head!" called Pinkie. "Of course,” muttered Icebird‏. As Pinkie righted herself, Icebird flew down and said, "I better show you the way. You're liable to end up in a quicksand pool without a guide." Suddenly, his body started to unfold and his head and wings tucked inside. A new pair of legs appeared from what was his shoulders as his zygodactyl feet became a large pair of paws. A new head emerged from where his tail feathers word as the panels of his body snapped back into place, completing his transition from snowy owl to polar bear. Pinkie clapped her front hooves together in applause before saying, "That was neat. Do it again."‏ Icebird sighed and said, "When I have need to, I will. For now, let us focus on moving."‏ Pinkie Pie looked disappointed for a second before she suddenly perked back up, following the polar bear along. Meanwhile, a green wasp was buzzing around another part of the forest. This wouldn't be unusual except that the wasp was a lot bigger than any insect had business being. “Urgh...why Wazpinator have to do lone scout mission? Wazpinator always blown up when on scout mission,” groaned the wasp, buzzing around and focusing its eyes on the surroundings. Just then, a voice on Waspinator's comlink made him stop. "Waspinator, I have a new mission for you," said Megatron's voice, "You are still in the swamp, yes?"‏ “Yezz...Wazpinator still in horrid smelly swamp with itz giant biting reptiles," said Waspinator, muttering the last parts darkly. "Excellent, I've just picked up a transwarp energy pulse in that location. You shall investigate it," said Megatron. "Why Wazpinator alwayz get dangerous missions like that?" moaned Waspinator as the com went dead. He was about to start searching with the comlink clicked on. "Oh, one more thing," said Megatron, "I'll be sending in Rampage to give you some backup."‏ Waspinator groaned at that. “Not Crab-Bot. Wazpinator definitely get blown up," he said gloomily. "Oh, I'm afraid I must insist," said Megatron, "We can't let anything valuable slip away because your clumsy servos, now can we?"‏ "Yez...Wazpinator will help Crab-Bot," groaned Waspinator‏. "I knew you'd see it my way, yes..." said Megatron, "Start scouting ahead and when Rampage gets there, report to him." "Why can't Crab-Bot do scouting?" whined Waspinator. "Because Rampage doesn't make very convincing bait," said Megatron before signing off. Waspinator groaned before flying back towards the swamp. One day, being a scout would be the spark loss of him. Meanwhile, Pinkie and Icebird were trudging through the swamp. Thankfully, Pinkie was remaining quiet, though the constant splashing from her hopping was starting to annoy Icebird. "Can you please walk normally?" Icebird finally snapped, turning to look before pausing as the final hop covered his face in swamp muck from the splash. "Oops, sorry," said Pinkie before pausing as she heard a rustle in the bushes. As Icebird was wiping the muck from his face, Pinkie went over to the bushes and tried to see what was in there. She was about halfway there when a large wolverine sprang out at her with a roar. Pinkie jumped back with a surprised scream before zooming back at a speed that impressed Icebird‏. The wolverine snarled and charged at Pinkie faster than what a wolverine ought to be capable of doing. But Icebird was able to slap the wolverine at just the right time to keep it from attacking Pinkie. "Enough, Dinobite," snapped Icebird, "She is not a Predacon."‏ "She has the smell of them on her," snarled Dinobite‏. "She does not even know what a Cybertronian is, let alone Maximals and Predacons," said Icebird. "Then she lies. She is a Cybertronian herself. Not that it matters. Without a form, she'll short out from energon exposure soon." Dinobite sneered. "Wait, you guys say I can transform too?" asked Pinkie. Dinobite and Icebird looked at one another at that before Dinobite said, "Was your spark damaged by any chance?"‏ "More like her processor was," said Icebird, "I could barely make anything out of her datatrax."‏ "So she’s insane. We should dump her with the Maximals and be done with it," said Dinobite‏. "I was escorting her there right now," said Icebird, "She needed all the help she could get to get through..." He paused before asking, "Do you hear that?" The other paused and soon noticed a buzzing sound getting closer. The three looked up to see Waspinator fly overhead, mumbling angrily to himself and therefore not noticing. "A Predacon..." growled Dinobite. "Is that what a Predacon is?" asked Pinkie, "It looks like a big bug to me."‏ "Shut up, you fool, before he hears us!" snapped Dinobite, as Waspinator flew off and out of sight. "What's so bad about a big bug?" asked Pinkie. "They're Predacons. They will shoot you on sight," snapped Icebird‏ "That's not very friendly," said Pinkie. "Predacons are not 'friendly'. They are warlike and dangerous. You should learn that quickly," snapped Dinobite, losing what little patience he had. Pinkie blinked before asking, "So what do you do for fun around here?"‏ "Fun?" said Icebird, he and his fellow looking confused. "You know, games, parties, jokes and pranks," said Pinkie before gasping and saying, "Are you saying you don't know how to have fun?"‏ "You honestly have no idea what hell you’ve dropped into," said Icebird, doing to his personal danger, another look into Pinkie’s mind, this time a history lesson for her. ‎While Pinkie stood stock still, Icebird seemed to be suffering some kind of nervous breakdown, mainly showed by random parts of his beast mode switching back and forth. "Icebird...brother, are you ok?" said Dinobite carefully, poking Icebird and jumping back as Icebird started laughing. Dinobite snarled at Pinkie and snapped, "Stop poisoning his mind!" before slapping her hard. The blow was hard enough to make her hit a rock on the ground with her head, knocking Pinkie out. "So you've really been to other planets?" asked Pinkie excitedly, "What are the ponies there like? Do they have awesome parties? Do their cakes taste yummier than ours?" "Actually, most other planets don't have ponies like you there," said Discord. "Oh? What do they have?" asked Twilight, suddenly all interest before Discord said, "There is one race, my kind of people. Hardly any magic of their own, nobody to regulate their weather and hardly any natural abilities except their imagination and they've already been to their own moon," with a happy voice before his smile vanished. "And then there are others that would eye this little planet like the last cupcake in the shop. Creatures that make Cellie and Loony look like foals," he said, his eyes literal black orbs with a red dot in the middle. ‎"Surely there couldn't be any races that can be so advanced and savage," said Rarity. "Tell me, if you see an ant hill, would you be...grief stricken if you accidentally trod on one? Except dear Fluttershy of course," Discord said calmly before continuing, "To them, you are nothing, possibly less than that anthill, except maybe the Ashen. They'd probably attack because the ant was their distant cousin."‏ "Well, Ah’d feel bad, but Ah’d be more worried about them ants bitin' me," said Applejack. "Ah, but the ants bite would hardly kill you. It’s the same with them. They would barely notice your strongest spells. They wouldn’t even need to land," said Discord darkly. "But they'd never come here, right?" asked Fluttershy nervously. "Maybe, my family always has fun putting them off," said Discord thoughtfully, though a hint of bitterness could be heard if you listened closely. "I didn't know you had family," said Twilight. "Did you think I was the only draconequus in Equestria?" asked Discord. "Well, yeah," said Rainbow Dash. "Oh, there used to be lots of us. Many of us got bored, left or fought one another. I stayed behind. I never thought my family’s scuffles were interesting when I could be having fun. It’s just as well Celestia let me back out before any of the neighbors noticed I was gone," said Discord happily, waving his hand a stickman cartoon following his narration, showing at first, hundreds of stickman draconequi, changing to a cartoon fight cloud and then many of them floating up with suitcases, a stick-draconequus that was clearly Discord left behind, waving a handkerchief at them. "Oh, I didn't realize you were so lonely," said Fluttershy. "Well, I don't miss all of them very much," said Discord, "Some of them were just plain obnoxious.” Applejack and Rainbow Dash exchanged glances at that, wondering how bad those other draconequi must have been if Discord thought they were obnoxious. “Anyhow, maybe you'll be lucky? The humans in the void are quite fun, especially the mercenaries. Think of the fun we could have if one came here?" said Discord cheerfully, his eyes back to normal. ‎"Maybe we should go see if those UFOs are friendly," said Pinkie, "We can have a big 'Welcome to Equestria' party." "Oh, yes, that could work so well," said Discord before changing into a spaceman suit with an oversized brain and skull-like face. "We come in peace," he said in a monotone voice before shooting his ray gun and zapping Spike's tail. There was some laughter, even Spike laughing (probably because the ray gun fired a tickling charm) before Discord suddenly paused before looking up at the same time a knock was heard at the hall doors. "I'll get it!" called Pinkie before hopping over to the doors. The mayor was at the door, half the town outside as well. The cause was clear, a trio of metal machines flying overhead with a metallic shrieking noise, circling the town. "Wow, where'd you get those things?" asked Pinkie. "They just appeared, princess," said the mayor desperately as the trio of machine split off, one spinning in place and starting to fly towards the tree. "I'm not a princess, that's Twilight," said Pinkie, "I'm more like, um, uh..."‏ Discord however seemed to snap out of it at that before yelling in a serious tone, something that got everyone’s attention. "GET OUT OF THAT THING’S SIGHT!" just before two yellow bolts were fired... Pinkie woke up to found that she was moving and was feeling something furry. It took a while for her to realize she was being carried on Dinobite's back. She looked up to see Icebird as an owl again looking down at her. "She's awake. You can put her down now," he said calmly. "Finally," grumbled Dinobite before dumping Pinkie off. Pinkie just barely avoided falling into the pond they were next to. "Hey, that wasn’t very nice, Mr. Grumpy McGrumpypants," snapped Pinkie, getting back up. "Silence! If I had my way, I would dismantle you for nearly driving my leader insane!" snapped Dinobite‏. "Enough, Dinobite," said Icebird as he flew down to the ground and transformed back to bear mode, "It's not your opinion alone that matters. All the Mutants should have a voice in this." "More Mutants?" asked Pinkie before she noticed a bubbling in the water. From the depths of the pond came a large red barracuda and a big grey alligator. Pinkie’s eyes went wide before narrowing on the barracuda, “You’re the one who tried to eat me." The barracuda muttered, “Yeah...you tasted terrible."‏ "Ingestion, unwise," said the alligator in a robotic monotone, "Protoform, indigestible." "Oh, you think you're smarter than me, don't you?" grumbled the barracuda. "Poison Bite, inferior, Soundwave, superior," said the alligator. "You're not Soundwave," said Icebird in a tired tone, "Your name is Leatherhide and you're not an ancient Decepticon." "Yeah, quit acting crazy," said Dinobite. "Information: irrelevant," said Leatherhide, sinking slowly back down before Pinkie said. "My name’s Pinkie Pie, nice to meet you all."‏ "What kind of name is 'Pinkie Pie'?" demanded Poison Bite, "She's a Predacon spy, isn't she? She's been sent to find us so Megatron can keep experimenting on us, hasn't she?" "No, she’s just completely damaged goods," said Icebird dryly. "Then why hasn't she transformed?" demanded Poison Bite, "She's hiding her faction symbol, isn't she?"‏ "I’ve been into her head, Poison Bite. It is not the mind of a Predacon...or a Maximal. It is...let’s be generous and call it unique," said Icebird, pausing as he shuddered. "So how do I transform?" asked Pinkie before blowing on one of her hooves. "Your T-cog. We all have one," said Dinobite‏. "Really?" asked Pinkie before she started poking her belly. Poison Bite finally said, “Ok, she’s not a spy. No spy’s that moronic."‏ "Great, can we toss her out of our swamp now?" asked Dinobite. "No...not until we know where to send her. A protoform will not last 3 minutes," said Icebird scolding. "Maximal territory, preferable," said Leatherhide. "Fine, we will escort her to the edge of Optimus’s territory," said Icebird calmly. "Alert, aerial disturbance, detected," said Leatherhide as the buzzing sound was heard again. "Mutants, ready yourselves," said Icebird sternly. Then the big green wasp flew down through the mists. "Ooh, Wazpinator find transwarp signal, Wazpinator find many beast-bots, Wazpinator, terrorizze!" The wasp converted into a bipedal robot, holding its stinger like a gun. With that, Waspinator landed, aiming his blaster before Icebird said "Seriously?" in a dull voice. "This is who we've been worried about?" asked Dinobite, "That's Megatron's whipping bot." "We can take this guy easily," said Poison Bite. "Wazpinator not afraid of Maximals," said Waspinator, aiming at them. "We're not Maximals," said Dinobite before he flipped over his front legs while the rest of his body folded inwards as his tail spun around and extended before new forelimbs and a head emerged, finishing his transition to a velociraptor. "And you should be afraid," said Poison Bite before jumping out of the water. His head and tail split in half before repositioning to the sides, his tail fins and side fins become legs and allowing a new tail to emerge as the head halves became claws and the new head popped out, completing his scorpion mode before he landed on land. Pinkie Pie clopped her hooves together before her head shuddered in place and she side stepped as Waspinator angrily fired at her. “How did pink protoform do that?" asked Waspinator in confusion. "Guess I still have my Pinkie sense," said Pinkie Pie, "Now how do I do that shifting thing?" She continued poking at herself with her hooves. Waspinator however was trying to shoot the others, with his usual lack of marksmanship until Icebird clonked his head off. Waspinator staggered around before finding his head and putting it back on. "Wazpinator finished scouting. Wazpinator going home now," he said before changing to wasp mode and flying off. "Leatherhide, we can't let him report to Megatron!" said Icebird as he changed to owl mode. "Affirmative," said Leatherhide as he crawled out on land. He stood up on his hind legs as they shortened into his body. His front limbs expanded and attached to extensions of his torso while his head flipped down to become part of his chest and allow his other head to pop out. After that, Leatherhide in his bat mode and Icebird in his owl mode flew off after Waspinator.‏ Dinobite and Poison Bite looked at each other before back at Pinkie who was inexplicably sticking her hoof through one ear and out the other. "Spark dammit," groaned Dinobite, hanging his head as it dawned they were stuck babysitting‏. I am not gonna spend my solar cycle watching over a protoform who doesn't even know how to transform yet," said Poison Bite.‏ "Icebird will not be pleased if we lose her." said Dinobite coldly only for Poison Bite to say "Then we'd better find her, causing Dinobite to spin to see a Pinkie-shaped hole in the world and an important lack of the protoform. Pinkie meanwhile was bouncing her way towards the edge of the swamp.‏ "I'll be back later when I find out where everypony has gone," said Pinkie, "Ooh, maybe I'll bring cupcakes. They'll like cupcakes." Unknown to her, however, a dark intelligence had noticed her presence and was waiting for her to get closer. The creature, looking like a giant crab, peered out the water, eyeing its prey, Pinkie. The protoform’s spark practically called to him to be absorbed.‏ "Oh, such gushing joy, such brimming energy," said the crab, "Such a sumptuous meal. But it needs more flavor, a taste of terror..."‏ With that, the crab slowly headed through the water towards Pinkie, who was obvious to him. The crab's claw was opening wide and was getting ready to grab the pony when she suddenly stopped and looked at her knee.‏ "Ooh...pinchy knee...that means something scary is going to happen,” she said cheerfully, the crab pausing before vanishing back into the water. 'Hmm...this one has better sensors than I thought. Let's just see what she's capable of. It'll be more amusing,' thought the crab. He was about to try again when he saw two of the Mutants run into view. “Hmm...three is harder...I can wait for my moment," the crab muttered to himself, settling under the water. "What were you thinking, protoform?" snapped Poison Bite as he scuttled over to Pinkie, "This isn't a place to be hopping around without care."‏ “Oh, silly. It’s not even close to as bad as when Tirek blew up the library or Everfree Forest," said Pinkie cheerfully, Dinobite glad he was in raptor form so he could facepalm‏. "It's still dangerous to wander off on your own," said Dinobite, "There are predators as well as Predacons out there."‏ "I don’t see anything. I got a pinchy knee for a second but nothing happened," said Pinkie happily. "So what?" snapped Poison Bite.‏ "If I get a pinchy knee, that means something scary’s about to happen," said Pinkie sagely. Dinobite and Poison Bite exchanged looks. "Admittedly, she'd not be the only Transformer with precognitive abilities," said Poison Bite. "You seriously expect to believe that?" asked Dinobite. "I'm gonna check the area to be sure," said Poison Bite before shifting into barracuda mode and jumping into the water. He swam around, his eyes peering through the gloom but not seeing anything. He finally snorted and surfaced, “There's nothing down there except weeds."‏ "See? I told you there was no-" said Dinobite before something grabbed Poison Bite from behind and dragged him under the surface. He found himself struggling in a giant crab's claw and being dragged towards a nasty set of jaws. "Mmm...fresh fish," said the crab creepily. Poison Bite struggled as best he could, before transforming to scorpion mode and digging his stinger in. The crab let out a cry of pain and let go of Poison Bite, giving the Mutant enough time to change into barracuda mode and make a shot for the surface. He jumped out of the water and yelled, "Get back!" The crab soon surfaced, roaring and snarling angrily.‏ Pinkie yelped before looking at Dinobite and saying, "Never mock the sense."‏ The crab snapped its claws at Pinkie and Dinobite before they scrambled to get out of the way. The crab lumbered out of the water and said, "I would have been a good sport and given you a running start, but your scorpion fish has spoiled my mood. Rampage, terrorize!" The crab flipped upwards as it became a massive bipedal robot, his crustacean limbs going onto his shoulders and back.‏ Pinkie stared, her jaw falling open before she screamed and shot off, Dinobite and Poison Bite doing the same and following.‏ "You can hide, but you can't run!" taunted Rampage before charging after them.‏ "Who is that guy?" screamed Pinkie, somehow keeping ahead of the two Mutants. "That's Rampage, the most monstrous and destructive psycho on Megatron's team," said Dinobite.‏ "Who's Megatron? Is he related to Tirek?" asked Pinkie.‏ "He's the leader of the Predacons, you fool!" snapped Poison Bite.‏ "But I don’t know any Predacons except for that silly giant parasprite," Pinkie yelled. "Doesn't matter, Rampage will tear you apart for fun," said Dinobite.‏ "Oh, that’s not fun at all," yelped Pinkie Pie, before yelling "TWITCHY TAIL!” and hopping to the side as a rock Rampage had thrown landed where she had just been. "How did-" started Poison Bite. "I'll explain it later, as much as I can," said Pinkie, "But let's get away from Mr. Crabby first."‏ Pinkie shuddered again before saying, “Turn left." As she and the Mutants veered left, Rampage cackled, "You won't get away that-" before suddenly he stepped into the slippery mud and lost control of his momentum.‏ "Pinkie sense rules as Dashie would say," cheered Pinkie as Rampage continued on his way and into a tree.‏ "That won't stop him for long," said Dinobite, "We gotta run."‏ The trio legged it at that as Rampage pulled himself up, almost slipping back over as his feet failed to grip the mud. “Stupid planet," he complained. Switching back to crab mode, his foothold stabilized considerably. "So, they want to play hunter and prey? That's just one of my favorite games," said Rampage before scuttling into the underbrush.‏ Pinkie slid to a halt, gasping for breath before saying, "I miss the Corner," in a sad voice. "Who cares about your corner?" grumbled Poison Bite, "We're all doomed now. Megatron's gonna hear about us and will have us all captured and dragged back to his lab for more experimenting. If Rampage leaves any of us online when he's done."‏ "He sounds worse than Gilda...big meanie pants,” said Pinkie before a voice said “Big meany pants, that’s a new name for me."‏ Pinkie jumped and tried to run when a giant claw grabbed her. "So, what kind of protoform are you?" said Rampage, holding Pinkie up to his face, "Such advanced sensors, but not a Transmetal or a Fuzor. What other secrets are you hiding?" His hold on Pinkie tightened greatly. He stopped as Pinkie’s head and backend inflated with a squeaking noise. "And apparently not bound by reality either,” said Rampage‏. "Let go, you big crabby bully!" yelled Pinkie before Rampage squeezed her again. This time, he got a different reaction. Pinkie's limbs extended into robotic arms and legs while her tail clipped to her back and the front half of her head went to her chest. Pinkie looked at herself with her new robotic eyes and said, "Cool, I transformed."‏ "That’s good. SHOOT HIM!” yelled Dinobite.‏ "Ok," said Pinkie before converting her right hand and shooting at Rampage. The Transmetal crustacean just laughed and said, "That tickled. You call that a blaster?" His own weapon unfolded, "This is a blaster."‏ "We have no need of blasters here," said Poison Bite as his stinger started glowing blue. A similar blue glow came from the top of Dinobite's head and eyes. As the glow intensified, a faint blue glow appeared around Rampage's claw and slowly forced it open, allowing Pinkie to wriggle loose. Rampage snarled before swinging his other claw around, sending the Mutants flying.‏ Pinkie was about to get out of reach when Rampage grabbed her by the leg. "You're not going anywhere yet," said Rampage, "But I think we need a less crowded place to play." The giant crab scuttled off, his vicelike grip holding Pinkie tight.‏ Dinobite shook the static from his vision to see Rampage vanishing out of sight. "Dammit...Poison Bite...wake up,” he said‏. "Ow, my processor..." groaned Poison Bite as he struggled to get up.‏ "Easy...Rampage took the Maximal," said Dinobite carefully. "Why should we care?" asked Poison Bite, "It's not like we're friends."‏ "Rampage took her. No creature deserves to be left to his mercies," said Dinobite‏. "We're not exactly the heavy brigade," said Poison Bite.‏ "We're better than nothing," said Dinobite‏. "We ought to at least get the others," said Poison Bite, "They had to have finished with that wasp by now." On cue, Leatherhide and Icebird landed. "Poison Bite, Dinobite, where is the protoform?" asked Icebird.‏ "Rampage grabbed her," said Dinobite sourly.‏ "What?" snapped Icebird‏. "The big crab snatched her," said Poison Bite, "We tried to save her, but that monster's unstoppable."‏ "No, we are going to go get her. Megatron will not be allowed to use her for his experimentation," snapped Icebird‏. "If Rampage even brings her to Megatron, whatever's left of her," said Dinobite grimly.‏ "Then we find Rampage before he can take her to Megatron," said Icebird calmly. "You do realize this is the immortal Protoform X we're talking about," said Poison Bite, "Even we know he was bad news back on Cybertron."‏ "All the more reason to try and rescue her," said Icebird‏. "Even our combined telekinetic power probably won't be enough," said Poison Bite. "Query, has the protoform accessed her robot mode and weapons?" asked Leatherhide.‏ "She did, but her weapons are clearly not fully charged. It had little effect," said Poison Bite‏. ‎"Armor thickness, considerable," said Leatherhide, "Protoform weaponry, inadequate."‏ "She will also be in danger of energon exposure if we don't find her soon," said Icebird‏. "You better have a better plan than just going after them," said Poison Bite.‏ "We don’t have a choice. The longer we stay here, the harder it will be to find her," said Icebird‏. Poison Bite sighed before saying, "Then we better get moving."‏ Meanwhile, Rampage was learning the same hard lesson that Icebird had: that Pinkie was completely unscareable and WOULDN’T SHUT UP...not even in stasis mode.‏ While most Transformers would have found her chattering unbearable, Rampage was intrigued by this protoform's complete lack of fear. He'll be taking a long pleasurable time in teaching exactly how to feel terror.‏ "So...I’ve never seen a protoform like you. Especially not one that has clearly been exposed to lethal amounts of transwarp energy. It will be interesting to see what kind of circuitry was used in your creation," said Rampage smoothly, running a scanner over Pinkie and wincing as she went off into some strange story involving a creature called a hydra and one of her apparent friends before he tuned her out again. Finally, Pinkie said, "But enough about me, how about you? Why is everyone so afraid of you?"‏ Rampage paused at that before turning to fix her with a half-amused look. "You want to know about me?" he said, smirking as he realized he had a good way to finally scare the little pink twerp servoless.‏ "Yeah, you can't really be as mean as everypony thinks you are," said Pinkie.‏ "I eat Cybertronian sparks, usually while their owners are still alive," said Rampage with an evil grin. Pinkie paused and asked, "You eat what?"‏ "You don’t know what a spark is?" said Rampage, sounding intrigued. "Not really. I don't that much about Cybertronians," said Pinkie.‏ "Well...you say you were an organic species before this. Your spark, it’s something organics call a 'soul'," said Rampage, pausing to let that sink in and enjoying as the protoform’s smile slowly faded. "Of course I've never actually eaten a soul, though I have had several organics before," said Rampage, "Humans and Nebulons aren't too filling unless you eat a lot of them at once. And there was more than plenty of them at Colony Omicron."‏ Pinkie was staring at this point, her optics pinpricks before Rampage said quietly "Are you scared yet?"‏ "You're just pulling my leg, right?" asked Pinkie, "I bet you're a lot nicer than you say." "Nice?" laughed Rampage, "Do you have any idea of what I am? The Maximals thought they could make an indestructible warrior from me. And they were right. My spark will never go out and nothing can keep my body down for long. Too bad they could never control me, eh?"‏ "A-and you gave them a thank you party for your super powers?" whimpered Pinkie as Rampage seemed to think about it before saying “If you count devouring their sparks as a 'party'." with every sign of glee at the memory. "But why would you be so mean?" asked Pinkie, "You can't feel good for giving everypony misery and pain." Rampage laughed loudly at that. "Life is misery and pain," laughed Rampage, "Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. I live with misery every waking nanoklik, especially when Megatron feels like squeezing the other half of my spark. And your beastly friends live with even greater misery, or didn't you notice?"‏ "I...I only just got here...my new friends are sad?" said Pinkie, in a glum voice. Rampage said, “They couldn’t be more miserable. Do you know why they haven't changed into robot forms like yours? It's because they don't have them anymore. They used to be Fuzors, with beast modes that were half one animal, half another. But then Megatron got to them before the Maximals and experimented with them. He infected them with a virus that was supposed to shut down their T-cogs and then the rest of them. But something went wrong and now they're trapped between two beast modes. I bet just having you around makes them bitter about not having robot modes anymore."‏ Pinkie whimpered at that, Rampage smirking before delivering the coup de'grace, "They probably left you behind on purpose." With a sound like a deflating balloon, Pinkie's mane and tail drooped flat.‏ Rampage paused at that, noting the pink also seemed darker. "Fascinating...a physical change bound to her mood," he muttered. He leaned in and said, "The only real way to alleviate misery is to spread it to others. Take it out on them and it makes the hurt go away for a while." A buzzing sound caught his attention and he looked up. "Ah, a perfect target," he said with glee. Waspinator sighed to himself as he landed outside Rampage’s lair. Megatron had somehow heard that Rampage had made a capture and had sent Waspinator to demand an update. "Why Waspinator have to go to Crab-Bot’s lair?" he muttered, transforming to bot form to go inside, if only so he could have his blaster. He personally didn’t trust Rampage one bit.‏ "Crab-Bot, you in here?" called Waspinator. "Ah, the wasp, come in to my humble home," said Rampage's voice with enough charisma that Waspinator barely kept himself from running back outside.‏ "Crab-Bot needs to stop being creepy. Megatron wants to know if you are finished with Pony-Bot," said Waspinator.‏ "Oh, I think I'm getting close," said Rampage's voice, "In fact, you're just in time to help with her first lesson."‏ "Wazpinator not like sound of that," gulped Waspinator‏. "It's rude to stand at the doorway," called Rampage, "Are you going to come inside or shall I have to bring you in?"‏ Waspinator gulped at that and slowly stepped into Rampage’s cave, panning his blaster around in case anything jumped out. Maybe if he was fast, he could stun Rampage and fly away before his spark was eaten.‏ "Oh, don't be shy. I'm not nearly as bad as the spider," said Rampage's voice.‏ Waspinator whimpered at that before heading further forward.‏ Suddenly, Waspinator was grabbed by the shoulder and lifted off his feet. Waspinator gave a scream and tried to fly away. "Oh, calm down," said Rampage, "I'm not going to hurt you." "Crab-Bot promise?" asked Waspinator nervously. "I won't touch an antenna on your head," said Rampage reassuringly. Waspinator gave a sigh of relief before Rampage said, "But I can't be certain about my new friend."‏ Waspinator whimpered as he was tossed forward into the back of the cave, Waspinator noticing to his personal full scale terror, a pair of open stasis cuffs. "Wazpinator hate hiz job,” he said gloomily. "He's all yours, little friend," called Rampage, "Let him feel your misery."‏ Waspinator yelped as the 'room’ was sealed off with a boulder before Waspinator panned his blaster around, a crackle making him fire repeatedly with a rather girly shriek before his blaster was sent flying. "Hey...you wanna make some cupcakes?" said a voice behind him‏. "Wazpinator not want cupcakes," Waspinator whimpered.‏ "Well, TOUGH!” screamed the protoform, in robot form and lunging at him, her optics red and a nasty-looking blade extending from her wrist. Rampage chuckled at the sound of Waspinator's not uncommon screams. Oh sure, the bug gets taken apart all the time and put back together. But it was so refreshing to hear another bot do it for the sake of sheer pleasure.‏ The protoform’s cheerful voice said, “All finished. I don’t think he'll make a good cupcake." Rampage pulling the rock aside and jumping back as Waspinator’s parts were thrown out.‏ "Why universe hate Wazpinator?" groaned the poor Predacon's head. Rampage cackled with delight and said, "Very good, Sparkbreaker. So, has your misery been sated for the time being?" The protoform frowned and said, "Not really. It kinda feels worse now." Rampage patted her head and said, "Give it time. You'll adjust to it in no time."‏ The Mutants peered of hiding to see rampages cave, Leatherhide saying, "Offensive opportunities: poor. Recommend contacting Maximal forces for reinforcements."‏ "As if we could count on them," said Poison Bite, "We don't time for them anyways."‏ Icebird nodded. "Agreed, by the time they arrived, it will be too late," he said before the group peered down to see Rampage and Pinkie in robot form come out. ‎The Mutants quickly moved out of sight, though Icebird seemed to fade away.‏ The group headed forward in time for Pinkie, back in pony form, but a darker shade to trot out, Rampage behind her. “Very good, Sparkbreaker. Megatron will be impressed," he was saying. "Why should I go to Megatron?" grumbled Pinkie.‏ "Because Megatron will give you far more options to spread your brand of misery," said Rampage calmly‏. "He sounds like a big jerk," said Pinkie dourly.‏ "He is our leader, young protoform. The rightful leader of all Cybertronians," said Rampage‏. "Like you actually believe that," said Pinkie. "True, but he does have the other half of my spark," said Rampage, "And that isn't a metaphor. He has my spark half stuck in a little energy cage and he can squeeze it any time he wants me to behave. Say...you can help me get it back."‏ "Do I get to stab things?" asked Pinkie/Sparkbreaker. Rampage smirking evilly. “I think you've definitely got a better disposition," he said‏. "Can I stab this Megatron chump?" asked Pinkie. "Only a little," said Rampage, "I need him to put my spark core back in. And I'd rather have him mostly to myself. But after we're done with him, we can crush all the other Predacons, then the Maximals, then we'll go take care of those Mutants."‏ Pinkie smirked at that before frowning, her left optic and her ear twitching. "Someone’s spying," she said darkly. "How unfortunate for them," said Rampage before lifting his rear, revealing where his cannon was stored in beast mode. Two missiles shot out behind him.‏ The missiles shot back and hit Poison Bite and Leatherhide, sending them flying into some trees. Icebird glared from his cover. The protoform had clearly been corrupted, even now there was the faint sign of a Predacon symbol on her hind quarters, over the weird balloon image that had occupied it‏. He was not about to stand by and let the protoform be twisted to Protoform X's twisted design. He sprang forward, shifting to bear mode as he did and landed on top of the giant crab.‏ Rampage roared in surprise as Icebird seemed to appear out of nowhere. Pinkie glared and took aim, only to be tackled by Dinobite in wolverine form. "Stop struggling or I'll remove something," he growled, trying to hold the struggling protoform down‏. "Let me go, you mean, friend-abandoning jerk!" snapped Pinkie.‏ "Stop struggling, you fool. We're here to rescue you," snapped Dinobite, shifting to raptor form so he could hold her better with his forelimbs.‏ As they struggled, Leatherhide flew back and started screeching at Rampage, disorienting the monster with his powerful sonic frequency. "Why would you rescue me? You abandoned me!" snapped Pinkie.‏ "No...he knocked us out and kidnapped you," snapped Dinobite, the two being pushed away from one another as Icebird knocked into them. Pinkie immediately jumped to her feet and began firing multicolored blasts at Dinobite‏. In a flash of light, Poison Bite was suddenly on her back, struggling to get a hold of her. "Get off!" snapped Pinkie, switching back to pony mode and trying to buck him off. However, the scorpion was able to get a decent hold and Pinkie didn't nearly as much rodeo training as Applejack.‏ "You aren’t doing anything till you come to your sens-urk," snapped Poison Bite, choking as Rampage clamped his claw around his neck and pulled him back "I don't need to come to my senses. I already who my enemies- Ooh, baby alligators!" said Pinkie, not even Rampage's teaching could tame Pinkie's flighty attention span. She went to the little alligators that all hissed at her. "Aw...you remind me of Gummy, but with teeth," said Pinkie. Pinkie, her old dizzy personality back at the sight of such a memory reminder, didn’t notice the annoyed mother slowly peering out the water and her and headed for her like an angry and hungry submarine...with teeth. It opened its mouth and was about to lunge when Dinobite bashed Pinkie out the way, the alligator chomping on his tail instead and pulling him into the river. "Dinobite!" yelled Pinkie before diving into the water after him.‏ Rampage paused in his choking of Icebird to see that. "Oh, what a shame. She had such promise. Maybe I’ll be able to salvage her spark for a cheap meal?" he said conversationally to Icebird‏. "You don't care if she perishes or not?" snapped Icebird, "Don't you have any remorse?" "Oh, plenty, I just deal with it a different way. I locked her transwarp signature. If there are more clueless impressionable morons like her, I'll soon have someone competent enough to help me deal with Megatron and once they’ve helped, I get a celebratory meal of their sparks," sneered Rampage before a blast shot through his elbow join, the claw holding Icebird falling off.‏ Rampage turned to see Pinkie dragging Dinobite out of the water in her robot mode before shifting back to pony mode. "You big meanie!" she snapped, "I thought we actually friends and friends are irreplaceable! But all you care about is making everypony miserable!" "Haven't you been paying attention?" said Rampage as he reattached his claw, "Life is misery. The only way to alleviate misery is to take it out on others." "No, making others miserable is no way to deal with misery," said Pinkie, "You never get any better by making everypony sad. The best to make yourself feel better is to make others feel better. Making people happy is the best thing anypony can do. Life isn't misery, it's joy!" Just then, the cutie marks on her flanks blazed bright blue, dispelling all traces of the Predacon insignia. The light grew in intensity, making everyone cover their eyes.‏ Rampage covered his eyes before firing everything he had in the direction of the light. After a minute, he stopped firing as his vision rebooted from the brightness overload. "Stupid protoform," he muttered. When the light faded, Pinkie had grown in size, to about the size of a normal horse. Her appearance hadn't completely changed, but now she had the lower jaw, lower front legs, belly, back, and tail of an alligator. Pinkie looked herself over and said, "Wow, I look neat." "So you have an upgrade," said Rampage dismissively, "I still have more power." He rearranged his crab legs into a road wheel network as the upper half of his claws partially covered them, the lower halves forming into bumpers. His cannon flipped out to the front as rubber treads slid over his crab legs, effectively making him into a tank.‏ With that, he fired his main cannon, snarling as Pinkie seemed to twitch before easily dodging. “Stay still!" he snapped, taking his eyes off the Mutants as he kept firing.‏ Pinkie kept dodging before coming to a stop and saying, "Pinkie Pie, maximize!" Her tail popped off as her lower back unfolded into a pair of legs, her pony legs repositioning onto her back. Her torso extended, revealing robotic paneling on her front. The alligator half of her front legs flipped up to clip to the back of the pony half, revealing robot arms underneath. Her mouth opened wide and her eyes shut as a robot face appeared in her mouth. She picked up her discarded tail at the tip which sprouted a handle as the other end extended a Gatling gun.‏ Rampage roared angrily before Pinkie opened fire, the blasts peppering him and knocking chunks and dimples into his armor‏. The other Mutants had managed to get back together and to a safer distance. "Now together," said Icebird as the fur behind his bear head glowed blue. A similar blue glow came from Dinobite's raptor crown, Poison Bite's scorpion tail, and Leatherhide's bat mouth. The glow intensified to more than twice what Dinobite and Poison Bite managed earlier before spreading over Rampage's form.‏ Rampage roared angrily as he was lifted off before Pinkie aimed. “It’s not my party cannon, but it'll do," she said cheerfully, firing a blast that sent Rampage flying over the horizon‏. Rampage roared angrily before he disappeared from sight. "That was fun," said Pinkie as she clipped her tail back in place before changing back to her beast mode. She looked at herself again and said, "So, this is what a Fuzor looks like."‏ The four Mutants looked at her before Icebird said, “Yes...it is," a hint of jealousy able to be spotted if you knew to listen for it.‏ ‎"Oh, sorry, I didn't really pick this form," said Pinkie.‏ "It’s fine. You did not choose to be a Fuzor out of malice," said Icebird sagely. "Would it make you feel better if I didn't use my robot form too much?" asked Pinkie.‏ "No, it is your right," said Icebird, Poison Bite opening his mouth but closing it under Icebird’s glare. ‎"So, what do we do now?" asked Pinkie. "You can go on to the other Maximals," said Icebird, "We'll have to find a new place to hide from the Predacons." Pinkie thought this over before saying, "You might if I stay with you? I kinda showed them where you were hiding so it's only fair I help you move. And you all can use some cheering up."‏ Icebird looked to the others. "Does anyone object?" he asked‏. "Reinforcements, preferable," said Leatherhide. "She might give away our positions again," said Poison Bite suspiciously. "I think she's learned who she can and can't trust by now," said Dinobite.‏ Pinkie cheered at that, having somehow got a party hat out of nowhere that she put on Dinobite’s head. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun. I can teach you all my favorite games and-" she began Dinobite muttering "Is it too late to change my mind?"