I hate Princess Luna. I told her that last night, when she showed up in my dream after Charlie’s funeral. Mom says it’s okay to call him that, it’s the name me and mom knew him best as. It was a special name that only we called him. Z asked mom if she could call her Diane sometimes, and she asked me if that would be okay. I told her it would be fine because mom wasn’t trying to take my name, she was just remembering Uncle Train Wreck.
But I told Luna that I hate her last night. I told her it was her fault my uncle died. She let bad ponies in her guard, and the guard are supposed to make us safe so we trust them. But she let bad ponies be in her guard who nopony should ever trust. That’s why he died. That’s why it’s her fault.
I thought she’d get mad, but she really looked hurt. She even cried a little. That made me feel good. It doesn’t even bother me that that it makes me feel good, because she deserves to cry. Mom doesn’t deserve to cry like she does now, and neither does Z, and neither do I. But we have to because Princess Luna took a bad Pony and made him a guard. I’m glad I hurt her feelings.
We all stay at the hive now. I don’t know where we’re going to go from here. If we go anywhere at all. It’s kind of weird. At the old hive, the changelings were always trying to keep me hidden, and after the invasion I pretty much had to live like a pony. Ponies were really my only basis for what a family is supposed to be like, so the hive is kind of weird to me. And we’re kind of weird to it. Changelings don’t have brothers, or sisters, or uncles. They all call Princess Fast Change Mom, or Mother, but she’s kinda all of their mom. And boss. And spiritual leader. I guess for them our family is just as strange.
The changeling guards were super sad about what happened to Uncle Train Wreck. They really liked him a lot I guess. One of the guards said if Luna’s Nightmare Guard give us any trouble to let them know. Another one, he was really kinda young to be guard, but he told me I was cute, and I were a little older he’d ask me out. One of the other guards heard him and said something I thought was kinda mean. I mean, he wasn’t being creepy, and I don’t think he was even being serious. I wouldn’t mind if he was being serious. He was really nice.
But I know I’m trying to avoid talking about the funeral. I thought it was sad the last time they buried him because nopony came. This time was worse because so many ponies came and it just made it worse for so many reasons. Because the last time it was just me being sad.
So many colts and fillies were there with their parents. They were never again going to be able to buy their cupcakes from a real honest to goodness monster. The Monster of Just Deserts was already a schoolyard legend. My Uncle Train Wreck is a legend, and legend is really just another word for “ghost”. These colts and fillies loved my uncle, and I fed freely, and if I had a few small holes when we left, no one faulted me.
Then there were the ponies who felt bad for always assuming he was a monster. I don’t know if they came to try and wash away their shame, or just to try to make themselves feel a little more like they weren’t like the monster that took away my uncle. When one of them came to pay his “respects” I smiled at him. Not my “I’m really happy” smile. Not even my “you’re going to be my special friend” smile. I gave him the full “I can fit your entire head in my mouth” smile. He swallowed hard and asked me why I was smiling. So I told him he’d just reminded me of a happy memory.
Uncle Train Wreck was taking me back to the hive and we were both giving all ponies our scariest smiles and seeing which ones would shriek and run away, and I told that pony who came to my uncle’s funeral to feel less bad about himself that I remembered how he was the pony who wet himself in front of Rarity's Boutique. And he turned red and ran off, and I laughed, and then Z laughed, and finally mom laughed. And there we were, laughing like fools at a funeral, and none of us cared. Because we needed to laugh. And we needed mom to laugh. And mom hadn’t laughed or even smiled since that horrible train ride when we got the news.
The train attendant who we met the day we left was there. He was super nice. It wasn’t his fault Luna’s goons put Uncle Train Wreck on a list. That was Luna’s fault. He even spoke up for us. He’s good pony. I’m glad he came and I told him so. I gave him a really friendly smile, and he only flinched at little.
I think he’s a really brave pony. He stood up to Uncle Train Wreck and did his job even though he was terrified. But even though he was scared of me and Uncle Train Wreck, he still stuck up for us when… I don’t want to write anything about HIM. The point is that the train attendant was always nice and polite to us even though he was scared of us. I wish I could remember his name.
And then SHE came. I don’t know why she was even there. She never even knew Uncle Train Wreck. Hell, she only showed up once to visit him when he was in the pod, and she spent her whole time there making excuses to me about why she wasn’t a bad pony, and how generous she was for locking “that poor unfortunate human” in that damned nightmare. I hated her even then, and that is before I saw with my own eyes what kind of hell she’d sentenced him to.
I’m always going to hate Luna. Why did she even come to the funeral at all? That one ambassador guy didn’t show up. Do you know why? Because he didn’t know the deceased. Although I’ll give him this, when he and his wife visited they at least talked to the comatose patient. It was really awkward. They mostly talked about various places in Equestria he might go if he ever woke up. For his part, Uncle Train Wreck just floated in the pod the way he always did back then. It was weird.
Of course when she showed up, all her damned snob-pony leeches came trailing in saying what-ever they wanted like they knew Uncle Train Wreck. Or even met him. From what I’ve heard the staff at the Castle had a lot of yellow stains to scrub the two times he ever went to the castle. And he was only mildly annoyed when they saw him. I think I’m the only one who’s actually seen him really angry. In the nightmare, when nopony made me tie him up and hurt him or he wouldn’t give me any more candy. Nopony was terrified of him.
And now he’s gone because a stupid princess told everypony that they could trust a bad pony and that he would protect us. He’s a stupid coward. I said I wouldn’t talk about him, he’s not worth my ink. He’s a stupid, smelly, coward of a bat pony! But he’s not the one who set the trap.
And that’s what terrifies me. Because nopony will believe me when I tell them that mom’s not the only thing that escaped from the dream. Now that I know he’s out there, now that I know he’s real… I feel phantom hooves on my chitin. That perverted murderer was only Nopony's knife. I know his game. I see his hoof prints. The bastard of a pony admits he killed my uncle. He’s not even ashamed of himself. He actually thinks he’s justified!
He swears he didn’t start the fire though, and that he was at a tavern with three other guards. Two of them say they were there, but left early, the third swears he wasn’t even at the tavern. It’s Nopony’s style, a friendly voice to tell you what you want to hear. He had one of his drones set the fire and another push that poor murdering bastard to the right place at the right time, with blood in his eye.
And nopony will believe me because they think I just can’t accept that Uncle Train Wreck could just die so randomly. And they're right, because I can’t. And I can understand why Z can’t see it, she never really met Charlie in the dream. And mom never actually met Nopony. But I know. There were only really two ponies who could take down Uncle Train Wreck, and he didn’t kill himself.