*BANG-BANG-BANG*
"Fuck!" I yelled, falling out of bed, the thundering sound of someone banging on my door echoing throughout my home and startling me awake. I had just started pushing myself off the floor when I heard the creaking of the door being opened. "Who is it!" I yelled, doubting it was any creature of the Everfree.
"Duplicate, of the Queen's Guard," came the reply from an armored 'ling as he walked around the corner. "The captain is calling on your fidelity. We must leave at once."
"Alright, just a minute, I need to eat something first-" I started, attempting to walk past him, before his hoof shot out, blocking me from going towards the back where the kitchen was.
"Food can be provided for you. You must come with me, immediately," he reiterated.
"What could be so damn important, it can't wait for just a few minutes?" I asked, giving him an annoyed glare.
"I do not have the authority to say, but it is of the utmost importance, and cannot wait," he emphasized.
"Good God," I sighed, following him outside into the sunlight. I probably didn't even get seven hours, I thought.
"Follow me," he stated, giving me only just enough time to close the door before taking off in full gallop.
That caught me off guard, and it took me a few seconds to start moving. I chased after him with everything I had, realizing that something truly dire must be happening... Although the only thing I could think of that would warrant this amount of urgency was that their hiding place had been found already, in which case, I wasn't sure what all I'd be able to do.
Another guard was waiting for us at the entrance, and I was quickly ushered back down into the deepest tunnels, where the captain was before. Soon we came to a tunnel being watched over by two more armored guards. Seeing me, one of them turned and went down the tunnel. Said tunnel curved off a short distance in, and the guard quickly moved out of sight, while the two who had escorted me down here left, leaving me alone with the one guard who had stayed at the entrance.
"Captain Stern will be here shortly," the remaining guard answered, sensing my question before I could voice it.
So that's his name, I thought, giving a nod of acknowledgment. In the ensuing silence though... I noticed something. It's back, I realized, looking down the tunnel as I felt the small pulsating pressure. Emulate's back there...
The other guard soon returned with Emulate and the captain. They both wore grave looks, and didn't appear to be in the best shape either... Emulate looked like she was just barely holding back tears.
"What's the emergency?" I asked.
"It's the Queen," Stern started, "I've done everything in my power to keep this hidden from the others, but... she's-"
"She's dying!" Emulate burst out, no longer holding back her tears as she rushed forward. Grasping me like a lifeline, I was assaulted by the combined pressure of her vented feelings, and her crushing hug, as she cried into my shoulder.
"What! How, why!?"
"The Queen has fallen into a deep depression," the captain continued, gravely. " She's come to think herself unfit to rule, and it has taken a great tole on her health."
"What's made her so depressed?" I asked, unthinkingly placing a hoof on Emulate's back to try and comfort her. "Is it because she lost to Celestia?"
"Partly... The assault on Canterlot was not the first... poor decision... the Queen has made," he said, choosing his words carefully. "And it's not the first time those decisions have cost us."
"Losing what little you had must be terrible, but at the end of the day, they were just things. Maybe we just have to remind her of that?" I hopefully questioned.
"If only," Stern replied, expression remaining grim. "Our headcount was thirteen short after the initial retreat from Canterlot... Several were confirmed dead, and the rest are presumed to be as well... It's also likely that more were lost since then, although we won't know for sure until a new headcount can be tallied."
"Oh..." I said, remembering the dead changeling I'd found in the forest. Happy would have died too if I hadn't found him... How many others were there, that didn't have anyone find them? I thought, sadly. "...So what do we do?"
"The only thing we can do. We have to break her out of it," he answered. "I've been trying, but... she won't listen to me anymore. Which is why I called for Emulate. She was able to sway the Queens feelings once before, and I was hoping she could do it again, but... so far..." he sighed with a shake of his head.
"So, why am I here then?" I asked, trying to cover up the small, but no less inappropriate, surge of happiness I felt at finding out that they weren't a secret couple. It was then I noticed that the foreleg I'd put on Emulate's back had started hugging her tighter to me at some point. At least she's not crying anymore, I thought, looking down at her, head still resting on my shoulder. Resisting my treacherous emotions, I removed my leg from her.
"Because she insisted that you could help," he said, motioning to Emulate.
"How could I help?" I skeptically asked. I didn't know anything about Chrysalis, and I didn't have any idea how to cheer her up.
"She needs to see you," Emulate started, finally letting go of me and standing back to talk to my face. "She needs to see that it's not all bad. That at least some good has come of her choices... And you're the only one who can show her that," she explained, fresh tears forming again.
"O-okay," I stuttered, breaking into a nervous sweat under the force of Emulate's soulful, pleading eyes. "I'll try, but... I really think you're overestimating how important I am."
"We'll see about that," Stern replied, neutrally.
"I think... you just don't realize how important you really are," Emulate said. "You're the first one who's ever wanted to help us. For as long as any of us can remember, we've been shunned, universally... But now you're here... You've seen us in our true forms. You know who, and what, we are... And you still have stayed with us," she elaborated. "For us... I don't think anything more important has ever happened," she finished, still with that soulful look in her eyes.
I was too stunned to respond... How can you respond to something like that..? All I could think was that she had way too much misplaced faith in me.
"Don't make such warped statements Emulate," Stern chastised. "Control yourself. Your bond is giving you tunnel vision. We need to save the Queen, not give him a big head. Now, follow me," he finished, turning his gaze to me as he gave the order.
"So, what have you tried so far?" I asked as he led us down the curving tunnel.
"I've tried telling her that we still remain loyal to her, and that we can recover from this," Stern started.
"I've emphasized that as well," Emulate continued. "I said that she shouldn't lose faith in herself, because we all still believe in her."
"Okay," I said, thinking it over for a few seconds. "But... you don't really believe that, do you?" I asked.
"What?" They replied in unison, coming to a stop.
"Well, you said that you've done everything in your power to keep the Queen's condition a secret. You're probably just trying to prevent any sort of panic, or a, uh... depression epidemic. But the Queen is basically, like, a super-powered version of a normal changeling, isn't she? She can probably sense the underlying doubts that brought you to that reasoning, even if you have been trying to hide them."
"...It is possible," Stern said after taking a few seconds to mull it over.
"But I really do believe it," Emulate interjected. "She just needs to explain to everyone what happened... I know they'll understand," she insisted.
"...Well, it was just a guess," I replied as we started walking again. "Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet? Depression's supposed to take a while to fully get over... I think... if I'm remembering right," I mumbled. God, it's been so long since I've thought about this stuff... "Oh, yeah, another thing is... she needs to talk. As much as we can make her. Shrinks always make their patients talk through their problems... Talking at her, isn't going to do anything."
"That will prove difficult..." Stern said, the tunnel widening into a small chamber, where at last I saw the Queen for myself...
The sight was... disheartening.
She was laying on her side, her mane and wings splayed, as if she had simply collapsed onto the ground. She was clearly sick, her chitin ragged, and discolored. Her eyes were open, but unfocused... glazed over, and staring at nothing. She paid no attention to our arrival... giving no sign of having even noticed us.
"We are back, my Queen," Stern announced as he and Emulate bowed.
"We brought a very special guest who wanted to see you," Emulate said next, waving me forward when Chrysalis continued to ignore our presence.
"Hey Chrysalis..." I started, Emulate and Stern sending me a strange glance. "Long time no see?" I said, uncertainly, the Queen still seemingly comatose on the ground, aside from the occasional blink.
"You remember Cotton, right?" Emulate asked, coaxingly. "He's the pony who wants to help us find a home..?" She continued, trying to lead her into a reply, or at least some form of acknowledgement... When none came, she started getting a little frantic. "Can't you see that there's still hope!" She cried. "He's here, he came back! Of his own will! He's not being mind controlled, or threatened, or blackmailed!" She continued, pulling me closer to the Queen, as if, perhaps, she just couldn't see me.
...But still, her eyes merely looked through us. I didn't know what to say... uncertainty held my tongue... and the captain seemed to just be watching from the sidelines.
Once more, tears grew in Emulate's eyes as nothing came of her efforts.
"Please, look at us!" She pleaded, laying to the ground, and bowing her head so low that her horn stabbed into the dirt. "Can't you see the good that has come from your decisions! There's more to see than just the pain and the loss! We can come back from this! We will come back from this! But we need you. Please..." She continued, her cries weakening as she gradually lost her fervor. "...You're a good, and fair Queen... I still believe in you. Please don't lose faith in yourself..." she finished, quietly, her energy spent.
"I believe in you as well," Stern added, finally speaking up. "...as do all of the changelings under my command," he declared. "...And," he continued, in a softer, reverent tone. "I'm certain that Queen Ambrosia would have been proud of you."
From the vantage point I had been pulled to, I was in the perfect position to see the first reaction we managed to get out of Chrysalis. Her eyes dilated sharply, and the wing and ear that weren't pressed to the ground both twitched while her whole body seemed to tense up. Some sharp emotion must have rippled through the air, as Emulate let out a gasp, even though her head had still been bowed into the floor...
In only a moment, it was over, and the Queen closed her eyes.
"Leave me," she said, voice hoarse from disuse.
"I'm sorry my Queen," Stern quickly apologized. "I should not have-"
"Get. Out," she ordered, breathing sharply through her clenched teeth with each word.
Without another word, the captain bowed and left, Emulate getting up as well and pulling me with her out of the chamber. Looking back as I left, I could see her chest shaking, like she was crying...
"...Mother... so sorry," I heard her mumble, barely audible against the quiet sound of the torch, burning on the wall.
"Does she often order you out of the room like that?" I asked once we were back in the main corridor. "And what's with the looks you guys gave me before?"
"This was the first time," Stern replied, head down, stopping just outside of the guarded tunnel. "That was foolish of me, I should have known better," he chastised himself.
"Addressing the Queen by name, without her permission, is inappropriate... Insulting, even," Emulate said, answering my other question. "It's too... familiar... for the Queen's subjects to be calling her by name."
"Oh, okay," I said. But... I don't think a subject is what she needs right now, I thought, looking back at the tunnel.
"What's the matter?" She asked, seeing my look.
"I don't know... Nothing I guess," I said, trying to think of how I could help get Chrysalis out of her funk... "Oh, yeah," I vocalized, remembering my plan from earlier. Turning to address the captain, "until the Queen is back on her hooves, that makes you in charge of everything, doesn't it?" I asked, although I didn't wait for a reply. "I have an idea that I need you to consider very seriously."
"And what's that?"
"You need to send out a wave of changelings, as many as you can spare, to every city and town in Equestria, and gather up as much love as you can."
"That was already one of our priorities, and we've been working on it," he said, like it should have been obvious.
"But how many have you sent out? Because, once the Equestrians learn how to deal with your disguises, love will be a lot harder to get. And you're going to need to majorly stock up in order to survive that famine until we figure out a workaround for their new spell."
"We are more than aware of that, but any large moves on our part would be impossible to hide. Infiltrators are being sent out regularly, in small groups, to avoid attention," he explained, slowly, as if to a child. "I can see why you, as a pony, would think we hadn't already thought of this... But we have constantly lived with this problem, and we are very experienced with this kind of planning."
"Okay," said, lowering my head in embarrassment. God, that was stupid. Of course they would have thought of that first.
"It's okay Cotton," Emulate said, coming up beside me to try and comfort me. "Captain Stern has all of the logistical things taken care of... Let's just focus on helping the Queen. That's where we can be of the most use."
"Yeah," I said, going back to my earlier thought. "Helping someone who doesn't want help is tricky..." I whispered, thinking aloud. What she probably needs right now is someone she thinks that she can just... talk to. Someone that she thinks will just listen to her, without any preconceived notions of how a Queen should be, someone she feels she can really open up to... A friend. But... I don't know how I can get myself into that position. Or if I can even be that person for her...
"What are you thinking, Cotton? Your emotions are going all over the place."
"... Just trying to think of a way to get her to open up," I answered. "...And it's dredging up some old memories," I admitted.
"Oh..." she said, looking conflicted as she walked a few paces away. "...I'd ask if you wanted to talk about it, but..." she started, sounding down. "We have to focus on the Queen," she stated, a short-lived confidence finding its way into her voice as she looked back at me from over her shoulder. "...And you'd just say 'no', anyway," she finished, glumly, lowering her head. Obviously she was still saddened by my lack of openness with her.
"Yeah..." I neutrally replied, looking back to the guarded tunnel. "...So... should we try again?"
"*sigh* It'll be a while before the Queen will tolerate our presence again," Stern replied, ears and wings drooping for a moment as he sighed.
I was about to ask what we should do in the mean time, when my stomach let out a growl, voicing it's displeasure at being ignored for so long. "...I need to eat something then... I was told there was food here?"
"Physical food was not high on our priorities, but I'm sure there are some changelings planning to go out foraging soon, if they haven't already."
I nodded, and started heading for the surface again, with Emulate close behind. That lying bastard, I thought, thinking back to the changeling who'd said that food could be provided for me here. But, whatever, I dismissed, at least I'll have some more time to think about what exactly I'm going to do...
After a little asking around, we were told that the foraging expedition had only just left a short while ago. Hearing that, I decided to just head back to my house. I already had food there, so it would be faster than foraging around in this part of the woods. Emulate continued to follow me, expressing an interest in seeing where I live.
"It's nothing to look at, really," I told her.
"I don't expect you to be living in a castle or anything, I just want to see it," she replied. I just clicked my tongue in acknowledgement, not having anything more to say about it.
My place was a good walk from the entrance to the changelings hideout, being about a half hours walk to the south, if you go through spider territory. Taking that route may have been flirting with danger, but really no more so than any other part of the forest... The spiders generally keep to their webs, and typically only attack passing animals if they're sufficiently agitated, or hungry. Charging through, as the guard and I had earlier, was more likely to have incited an attack than simply walking, as we were now.
"...So what made you decide to live here anyway?" Emulate asked, speaking up only once the chittering sound of the spiders had disappeared far behind us. "It's not like you couldn't have gone somewhere... nicer."
She'd been jumpy and on edge from the moment she started hearing them. It was kind of funny to me, that a changeling would be scared of bugs. But I suppose insects do eat each other all the time, and they were awfully big...
"...A few reasons," I said, after taking a moment to think about it.
"...Liiike..?" She probed, drawing out the word while still keeping a weary eye on the trees.
"...I wanted to be alone, but I couldn't go too far away... I was still waiting for you, after all" I answered, sending her a glance over my shoulder.
"But why in this place? I thought you said you had friends in Ponyville, like Twilight and Pink-" she cut herself off, feeling the emotions welling inside me. "-I'm sorry, I-I didn't-" she stuttered, waving her forelegs around frantically for a few seconds before calming down at my lack of a physical reaction. "...What happened?" She quietly asked.
I stayed silent for a while as I kept walking... thinking of how I would explain it, or if I even should...
"Hahaha..." I dryly chuckled to myself.
"...What's funny..?" She hesitantly asked, not seeing the humor beneath my other, darker emotions.
"I was just thinking how funny it must be... saying this to a changeling," I chuckled. "...I was lying about my identity... and they found out," I finally answered, stopping to face her. "...That's what happened."
"I... guess that... that could be funny..." she said, slowly and uncertainly as I started walking again. "...So, who are you then?" She asked after giving me a few minutes of space.
"At this point, my old name doesn't matter anymore. I'm me, I've never tried to be anyone else, and to me, that's all that matters. A name is just a name... and my name is Cotton Hill now."
"I don't understand, why did they leave you then? If you were always being yourself, why did your name matter to them?"
"That's the trouble with hiding the truth... you lie. And when those lies are uncovered-"
"You're cast out," she finished for me.
"Yeah... I figured it would sound familiar to you."
"...But... you're a fellow pony," she said after a period of silence. "Why wouldn't they even give you a second chance?"
"...To be fair to them," I said after thinking it over, "I never really needed to lie to them... I could have just said nothing, or told them I didn't want to talk about it... But I wanted them to trust me, or rather, I didn't want them to distrust me... Never telling them anything wouldn't have helped get me there, though. But, even after I did start lying, I could have told them the truth at any time... but I didn't... And when they found out on their own, they assumed I was never going to." I took a moment to just breath after that... Poking at those memories were getting my emotions too riled up.
"...Would you have?" She asked, bringing me to a stop as I thought about it.
That's something I've asked myself more than a few times, since then... "I guess... we'll never know," I answered, walking again. We fell back into silence for the rest of the journey until we reached the doors to my underground home. The typical sound of metal on metal creaked out of the hinges as I opened the doors. "Welcome to my humble abode," I said, walking inside and turning on the lights... It was more of a reflexive thing than anything, really, considering that the sunlight coming in through the doors was providing more illumination than the small bulbs around the main room.
I went straight back to the ice box to get some food, while Emulate looked around.
"Did you learn how to enchant crystals in the last few months?" I heard her ask. When I looked back, I saw that she was looking at me, so I could only assume that she was talking about the lights.
"No, these are just light bulbs," I said, grabbing several things from the ice box.
"But, how are you powering them then?"
"Just with some batteries. The voltage isn't very high though, that's why the lights are all so dim."
"'Voltage'?" She parroted, not knowing the word. "And didn't you just say that you didn't know crystal enchanting yet?"
Puzzling over her statement for a second, I soon realized the misunderstanding.
"No, no. Not battery crystals, chemical batteries. See the wires?" I asked, pointing out the wires embedded in the ceiling, all of which converged at the back wall, where the battery bank was located.
"What's a chemical battery?" She asked, a completely clueless look on her face.
"...You know what," I started after giving it a little thought. "This rabbit hole goes down quite a ways, and we have more important things to worry about. Maybe I'll tell you about it later, after we've gotten Chrysalis back on her hooves."
"...You promise?" she asked, giving me a long, pointed stare.
"Sure-"
"No," she interrupted. "Yes or no. Do you promise?"
"Yes, I promise," I said, closing the ice box and placing my meal on the small counter next to it. She nodded, accepting my promise. "Okay," I started, popping a berry into my mouth to shut my stomach up for a second. "...I think I'm going to need some background information. When we talk to her again, I don't want to accidentally say something that will upset her, like the captain did, just because i didn't know any better."
"Okay," she said with a contemplative look as she sat down beside me. "What do you want to know?"
"Well, from what Stern said, she's depressed because she feels that she's failed as a queen... Do you have any ideas as to why she'd think that? What else did she do?"
At the very mention, her ears drooped and a sad expression overtook her as she lowered her gaze to the ground.
"That's... That's a painful story... Not just for the Queen, but for all of us," she started, slowly turning her mournful eyes up to me. "I may need some... some help...g-getting through it," she hesitantly said, the inflection of her voice making it seem like a question.
The small connection between us gave a longing tug on my chest, making her intentions clear.
I'd almost forgotten about it, I realized. I should probably be worried about getting used to being fed on... "I get it. Do whatever you have to," I told her. "If I'm going to be of any help, I need to know this."
"Okay," she started, taking a deep breath. "It was our most... recent... tragedy. The Queen had, er, I mean we had-" She cut herself off with a sigh. After gathering her thoughts for a moment, she started again after taking another deep breath. "I'll start from the beginning... It was about three years ago, now... We had just arrived in the savannas of Zabrica, and the previous queen, Queen Ambrosia, announced that she would be letting her daughter act as queen. She wasn't passing on her title just yet, but wanted the Princess to gain experience with the position," she explained.
"Makes sense," I nodded. "So it all comes back to what happened in Zabrica then? Were your identities revealed because of something she did?" I asked.
"Not... directly," she slowly answered. "We stayed with the zebras for longer than anyone before them. At least, as far as I know... It was probably inevitable that they would find out someday, especially once the attacks became more coordinated."
"Attacks?"
"Well, I was getting to that," she said, obviously asking me to hold off on any more questions.
"Zip," I said, making a sideways motion over my mouth.
"Right. Well," she started again, "when we first came to Zabrica, we performed our normal routine of scouting the land for population centers, and using small teams to gauge how welcoming the locals would be. We had heard from a merchants guild of camels that the lions were extremely vicious and territorial, and would sooner eat visitors than trade with them, so we focused our efforts on the zebra tribes, who they occasionally traded with."
Already I had more questions. It definitely didn't help that I was not at all studied in the cultures or civilizations of the world beyond Equestria. Grabbing a pen and paper, I started writing down the things I had questions about. Emulate paused for a moment as I did this.
"Don't mind me. Just writing things for later," I said, motioning for her to continue.
"...Well," she continued, "we quickly found that there were many different tribes, all spread out across the untamed continent. None of them were very welcoming of outsiders, especially ones they weren't familiar with. Where we posed as zebras, they thought we were from a neighboring tribe trying to steal from their territory. Even when we tried to explain otherwise, they just didn't want to take in any of our teams. And where we posed as camel traders, they would throw us out when they found that we didn't actually have anything to trade," she narrated. "...But we kept trying. Day in and day out, using new disguises, new tactics... and when they would actually listen, new stories. Eventually we had... I hesitate to call it good luck, but... One of our teams were posing as emissaries from the Felis Empire, a desert kingdom to the east of Zabrica, but the tribe they were going to make contact with was under attack by a lion hunting party.
After helping in the battle, they were welcomed into the tribe like family, which finally gave us our in. Under the guise of securing a larger trade route across Zabrica to the Saddle Arabian ports, we were able to make contact with all of the tribes that this one had been on friendly terms with, and from there, to even more. The Queen and Princess spent the next several weeks making plans to bring together as many of the chieftains as they could into a single diplomatic gathering. It took some time, but after gradually showing them more of our numbers, all disguised as soldiers of the Felis Empire, most of them chose to attend. In that meeting, many of them were convinced to swear fealty to Queen Baast the ninth in exchange for military protection from any future lion attacks.
Soon after, we unpacked our caravan in a central location, giving us easy access to all of the local villages while claiming that we were setting up a local garrison headquarters. Of course, every village needed to have at least a few 'soldiers' in place at all times... With this arrangement, we were able to feed on most of the population simultaneously, while our mere presence was enough to ward away most lion attacks before we had to truly fight them off... But it didn't last," she paused, taking her first drink of energy from me. "In less than a year, the lions started working together. No one had ever heard of that happening before, but I guess being denied a source of prey was all it took for the prides to start cooperating. Attacks were happening more and more often, each in greater numbers than the last. We were spreading ourselves thin, trying to protect all of the villages we could... But fighting takes energy, and we needed to feed more frequently to keep pace with the attacks.
The zebras started demanding we send for reinforcements. Even they could tell we were too spread out... But we had no reinforcements to send for. Even worse, we could tell from their change in attitude that we were feeding on them too much. Our arrangement wasn't sustainable anymore. Queen Ambrosia wanted us to leave immediately, but the Princess was sure that the lions would give up soon, as even with all of the fighting, we'd managed to avoid any losses up to that point... But they didn't give up.
A few weeks later, an attack came in the night. We were unprepared for this change in tactics, and an entire village was destroyed. The survivors fled to what they thought was our garrison, looking for shelter... They arrived unexpectedly with the news of the destroyed village, and not everyone was in disguise when they came stampeding into our camp... We weren't able to capture them all, and soon, the news of our identities spread across all of Zabrica.
Emboldened by their first victory, the lion attacks became even more frequent. Soon after that, we were forced to retreat from all of the villages, as the love-starved zebras started attacking us in a rage. We were packing up the caravan as fast as we could, hoping to leave before anyone came after us... That's when tragedy truly struck," she said, pausing again. A tear formed in her eye, even as she fed more on our connection. "We don't know for sure why or how it happened... It was probably because of the camel traders... Either way, news had somehow reached the Felis Empire that a legion of soldiers had occupied the land in their name... and so they sent an army of their own.
They attacked our caravan as we attempted to flee to the west, towards the Saddle Arabian colonies. Dozens of changelings were killed in the first assault. We tried to run as fast as we could, because we knew that we couldn't win, but they were catching up to us anyway. We quickly realized that we wouldn't be able to escape unless we abandoned the caravan... A-and that's when..." She paused as she wiped the freely flowing tears from her eyes with a hoof. "...That's when the Queen sacrificed herself for us. She ordered us to run, and keep running until we saw the ocean, while she stayed back. Using all her power, she erected a shield wall behind us. It stretched as far as the eye could see... but she couldn't move while maintaining the shield... Her captain stayed back with her, protecting her to the last, as was his duty... We all felt it... when she died."
She took a few minutes to calm down and recompose herself after that.
"...After that," she continued, "the Princess, now Queen, has never tried to keep us in one place for long. We moved through the Saddle Arabian colonies for several months, gathering supplies to cross the ocean."
"...Okay," I said when she didn't continue, looking down at my notes. I have a much clearer picture of her mind-state... Now I just need to figure out a way to convince her to get up and try again, I guess... "...Thanks Emmy," I said, giving her a hug to help calm her down some more. "I know that was hard for you... But I should be better able to help now."