Three weeks or so after Riverbill’s visit to Canterlot, I found myself with a day off. Celestia and Luna were both heading down to Ponyville to attend a wedding there. I get on well with most ponies in town, but it isn’t just ponies who call the place home. In addition to Zecora living a little ways out in the Everfree Forest, and the wife and I living in town, Ponyville also has two resident donkeys; Cranky and Matilda.
We actually aren’t too far from their house where we live, and the two of us visit them every now and again, and vice versa. Cranky and I are on fairly good terms with each other. Ponyville does have a rather noticeable bias towards females in terms of population, so it is nice every now and again for us gents just to meet up to get away from them all.
He’s a nice old boy is Cranky, he’s several years my senior but had never married. Like something out of a story book, he’d met the love of his life many years ago at the Grand Galloping Gala. Sadly, the pair had lost touch soon afterwards, and Cranky had devoted his time to searching for her, becoming something of a nomad. He’d actually moved to Ponyville, having given up his search, seeking to live out his retirement in peace.
Pinkie Pie, of course, was having none of that. By a pure stroke of luck, Matilda, the pretty young jenny he’d been searching for all those years, had also settled in Ponyville. With the crazy party pony’s help, the two had found each other and instantly reconnected.
I had known Cranky for a couple months. As I said, the two of us got on well, having similar interests, and both being of an older generation. While I might not be as old as him, my hair is getting quite grey at this point, and starting to thin here and there. Having had such a long and stable marriage, Cranky often came to me for advice when it came to Matilda. Advice I was happy to give. Aside from Shining and Cadance, I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more in love.
Much to everypony’s delight, last month, the pair officially announced their engagement, and the planning had began. The two donkeys are friends with pretty much everypony in Ponyville, so the guest list quickly swelled. This only increased when the many ponies Cranky had met in the course of his travels also got wind of what was happening. Even the princesses agreed to attend, since it was at Celestia’s gala that the two met.
The wedding was to take place just after lunch today. Derpy had delivered the invitations yesterday. Personally, given how much time had been invested in the whole enterprise, I thought it a bit soon. Plus, I figured it would be better to do things on a Saturday rather than a Friday. But hey, I haven’t planned a wedding in many years.
While I was getting my suit all sorted, I heard a commotion from outside our bedroom window. Looking out I saw this…thing. If I remember correctly, it was something called a bugbear. It looked like a panda that had been mixed up with a wasp. They can be nasty buggers and quite destructive. Still, by the looks of things, Twilight and the others were on top of it. At this point you just sort of get used to the occasional monster attack. As long as you stay out of its way, the girls tend to sort it out in about twenty minutes or so.
“Wow, looks like a bugbear’s wandered into town,” I called out to my wife, who was in the en suite.
“Well, as long as it isn’t another pack of timberwolves and it isn’t coming this way, I don’t mind,” she replied.
Twilight and the others did seem to be gaining the upper hoof; Twilight was blasting it with her magic, Rainbow was buzzing around at near supersonic speeds, Fluttershy was giving the beast her infamous stare, and Applejack was doing her best to hogtie the creature’s limbs.
Throwing on my jacket, I straightened my tie and checked myself in the mirror. I looked presentable, I decided. And it was nice to give Elusive’s suit a further workout.
Just then, I heard barking coming from downstairs, and paws skittering along the wood tile floor. The nearby bugbear was setting off the dog again.
Oh, yes, the dog. I haven’t said anything about that before, have I? About a fortnight or so ago, in order to counteract the absence of children, Margaret and I took in a dog. Well, ‘dog’ might be taking things a bit far. I mean, it looks like a dog, acts like a dog, barks like a dog, and it has about the same level of intelligence. But our pet, if you can call it that, is certainly not a dog. I’m not even sure if it counts as a mammal. Let me explain.
I was sitting on Day Court. A couple lower ranking guards had gotten into a fight in the barracks, and Celestia was promptly disciplining them. I was there to oversee the case and to ensure everything went according to procedure; military law, after all, is quite different to the civilian. Shining had already given them a severe dressing down himself, and Celestia was merely hammering the point home.
The large, snow white alicorn didn’t shout, in fact I think that was what made it worse. She merely told the two guards how ‘disappointed’ she was in them both and that there would be consequences for their actions. Strong Shield was standing with them; no doubt he too would be telling the pair exactly what he thought of them later on, only with much more shouting. In the end, after consulting with me, the princess agreed with Shining’s recommendation and busted the two corporals back down to privates, and assigned them garden duty, one of the dullest assignments in the whole of Canterlot Castle.
With the two guards dismissed and marched off. Buttercup opened up the large throne room doors and let the next petitioners in.
This time, it was a small family group from way out in Mexicolt, one of Equestria’s poorer provinces. The ponies out there though are very friendly in my experience; very hospitable and welcoming. There were five of them; a father, mother, two small kids, and a young stallion, presumably the older brother of the two foals. Strong Shield passed them all as he departed with the two disgraced guards. As he passed them though, something spooked him.
The usually calm guard stopped dead in his tracks. His ears perked up, his eyes went wide, his muscles tensed, and he briefly whinnied in surprise. A moment later though, he had a handle on his reactions again, with a friendly, relaxed smile appearing on his face. He turned to the passing family and greeted them. As a specially trained infiltrator, Strong Shield has quite the grasp of the many languages spoken in Equestria. He greeted the five ponies in turn.
“Hola, senor. Como estas?” he said to the father. The stallion smiled, returned his greeting, and shook his hoof. Strong Shield then moved on to the mother.
“Bienvenido a Canterlot, senora.” The mother also relaxed. He then leaned down a little to speak to the two foals, both of whom were quite calm; a moment earlier they had both hidden behind their mother’s legs when Strong Shield approached.
“¿Dónde has venido? San Maretonio?” The two small ponies nodded.
The whole family was now smiling, and seemed much more eager to go and speak with the princess. As Strong Shield walked over to the last of the five ponies, who was straying a little behind, he kept up his calm and friendly demeanour.
“Que dices si te rompo la cara?” he enquired.
Instantly, the smiles of the other ponies vanished. I’m not too well versed in the language, but I think he just threatened to punch the guy’s lights out. However, the pony in question continued to smile as if Strong Shield had greeted him as he had the other four. The guard chuckled to himself and, subtly, motioned for the other guards to come over. He then placed a hoof on the stallion’s shoulder.
“No hablas ni una palabra del Espanol, verdad, amigo?” he asked.
The stallion merely continued to smile as if he and Strong Shield were joking with each other. The captain turned to the other guards who had cautiously moved in to surround them both, whilst another group formed a ring around the princess and me. Celestia herself seemed unconcerned, though I was utterly confused.
“Ready?” he asked the other guards, switching back to Equestrian. They all nodded.
Suddenly, without warning, Strong Shield fired off a spell from his horn at point blank range. It hit the stallion clean in the chest and sent him flying across the room. The guards all reacted instantly, moving the family out of the way, surrounding the princess in a tight ring, and piling onto their foe, even as the green, fire like magic of the changelings washed over him, deactivating his disguise. The beast was soon restrained.
It was only the second time I’d seen one at such close quarters, the last time being when Strong Shield had been inadvertently unmasked. The creature was restrained by half a dozen guards, all holding it down with their combined body weight. The creature hissed irritably and writhed in an attempt to get free, but it was no good. It was quickly locked in irons, with an inhibitor placed on its horn to block off its magic, and hauled back on its hooves.
“How the hay did this thing get in?” one of the guards demanded. “Arrest those ponies!” The four ponies that had come with the changeling backed away nervously. Luckily for them, Strong Shield intervened.
“You’ll do no such thing!” he shouted back. He then turned to the family in question and shouted something at them in their own tongue and they quickly bolted. The throne room doors were locked behind them, whilst the changeling itself was brought before Celestia and me.
“Changeling, identify yourself,” I ordered sternly. I could see the nearby guards growing concerned. What if this was another infiltrator, or worse, an assassin? Strong Shield however, seemed far less concerned. The changeling didn’t answer my question, and simply continued to hiss and spit like an angry cat.
“You aren’t going to get much of an answer from it I’m afraid, sir,” Strong Shield offered. All ponies, and myself, stopped to look at him.
“Why do you say that, captain?” Celestia enquired. She had been the only one who seemed unruffled by events thus far. But then again, Celestia has developed her self-control into an art form. The reason Strong Shield would know was obvious. He was a changeling himself, except only Celestia and I knew that. The other guards, aside from Shining, had no idea of his true nature.
“I believe that this is a drone, your highness,” Strong Shield replied. The captain had, anonymously, helped understand and classify the various types of changelings that we had encountered, allowing us to understand them better. “They’re the most common type of changeling, but they aren’t particularly intelligent. They lack the capacity for speech.”
From what Twilight had told me, and from what I had read, there were a total of four types of changeling. Firstly, the queen, Chrysalis; the queen led the hive and acted as the controlling force, with intelligence on par with an above average pony. Then there was the ‘under queens’ as they were called. We hadn’t seen any of these in Equestria, aside from the one that was allowed to be in Canterlot. These were smaller than a true queen, but assisted her with ruling the hive, looking after and raising new changelings.
Then, there were soldiers; which was what Strong Shield was. These were about the same size as the drones, but with dark blue chitin like armour on their backs, thicker than normal. These were also intelligent and were used to fight, as well as infiltrate potential feeding grounds.
Finally, there was the drone, or worker. This was the most common type of changeling, the one many ponies still have bad dreams about. They are the size of the average pony, but they are nowhere near as intelligent. At best, they could understand a simple series of instructions and directives. As seen in Canterlot, they were not that smart, but had strength in numbers. They could not speak outside of hissing noises and body language.
Having accepted Strong Shield's suggestion that the changeling was, as a solitary drone, quite harmless, Celestia called off the guards, ordering everypony bar Strong Shield and myself to leave the throne room at once. Naturally, the guards weren’t entirely comfortable with that.
“Your highness, we can’t just leave you alone with that…thing!” one of them exclaimed. Celestia raised an eyebrow at him; a warning signal that he’d said the wrong thing.
“Private Steel Pike, you are a unicorn, correct?” she asked calmly.
“Er, yes, your highness,” the grey and silver guard replied.
“And you believe that you can restrain this changeling for me?” The guard nodded. Her eyes narrowed. “So, if you have no difficulty with it, why should I have any trouble, as an alicorn? If I wished I could fling this changeling back to the Badlands it came from.” For effect, she opened her wings and briefly let her horn glow. Steel Pike quickly withdrew his concern and departed with the others.
With just the three of us remaining with the small changeling, Celestia turned to Strong Shield.
“Captain, if it knows who you are, will it obey you?” she asked. Strong Shield looked a little surprised. I suppose he expected to throw it in the dungeons.
“Erm, it’s possible, your highness,” he replied. “Drones were always taught to obey soldiers.”
“Good, then you may drop your disguise a moment and let it see you.”
Still quite confused, Strong Shield deactivated his disguise spell. Green flame like magic washed over him, burning away his grey coat, his armour, everything but the eyepatch he wore. The changeling’s reaction was instantaneous. As soon as it saw him, it looked up excitedly and did its best to walk over to him. It then sat down on its rear and, I think, smiled at him, its empty blue eyes looking quite pleased.
“Do you know who I am?” Strong Shield asked it, his voice now with a more buzzing cadence to it. The drone nodded. Strong Shield continued.
“Have you been sent here by our queen?” The changeling shook its head, looking a little sad.
“So you aren’t here to spy or steal love form the ponies?” Again, the small creature shook its head. Strong Shield tried a different tack.
“Are you hungry?” This time, the changeling nodded excitedly and began looking at Celestia and I. Strong Shield turned to the two of us atop the dais.
“Well, I guess this is just one that has gotten lost somehow. Maybe it didn’t meet up with the others when Princess Cadance’s love shield went up. In any case, it doesn’t seem to be dangerous. It’s just looking for some food for itself.”
All of a sudden, the changeling began to hobble its way over towards us. Still clapped in irons, it couldn’t move around too easily, but it could walk in a peculiar fashion. As before, it didn’t act in a malicious way; in fact it seemed more curious than anything. It walked up the steps to the throne and stopped in front of me, looking at me with those big blue eyes. It then began to sniff at me.
“Er, Strong Shield?” I called. “What’s it doing?” The sudden invasive investigation was just a little uncomfortable.
“Don’t worry,” the larger changeling replied. “My guess is it’s just picked up the scent of your love. I know this may sound odd, but if you let it have a little, it’ll be more inclined to trust us all.” I wasn’t particularly on board with that idea. Queen Chrysalis had fed on Shining Armor and left him severely weakened.
“Isn’t that dangerous? I read about what their queen did to Shining.” Strong Shield shook his head.
“No, a single drone won’t need that much. At worst you’ll feel dizzy for a minute. Chrysalis stuffed herself; she nearly drained Shining dry. That was why it affected him so badly.”
“Do not worry, my advisor,” Celestia chipped in. “If this changeling does attempt to harm you, both Strong Shield and I will step in. You will not come to any harm in any way.” Reassured by that statement, I lowered my guard and allowed the drone to step closer.
What happened next was quite odd; I did indeed feel light headed for a moment. The drone seemed to draw out a green coloured vapour from me, which it inhaled through its mouth. The process only lasted for a moment or two though, and the small creature was soon satisfied. I walked down to Strong Shield and was about to ask him what to do next, when I realised the small drone had followed me down the steps.
“Huh, I think it likes you,” he commented.
“Doesn’t it just see me as a food source though?” Changelings are predatory creatures, referred to as ‘emotivores’, it seemed unlikely that one would take to its own prey.
“Well, this one hasn’t been near a queen for some time. It could be that it’s willing to follow anypony.”
“Why wouldn’t it follow you though?” Celestia asked. “Surely it would show preference towards its own kind. You said yourself that drones look to soldiers for leadership.”
“True, but I can’t feed it,” Strong Shield replied. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this drone seems to have decided to become symbiont with you, Mr. Owen.” Celestia’s eyes widened. Symbiosis was the goal she hoped to one day achieve with changelings. They needed food as much as any creature. The only reason they were enemies of Equestria was that they sought to take it by force.
We took a few minutes to test Strong Shield’s theory. The changeling followed me around the throne room and, for the most part, did what I asked it to do; it acted kind of like a dog really. That was when it hit me.
“Princess,” I said. “It seems clear that this changeling is no threat to anypony. But we can’t just let it roam free.” Celestia was way ahead of me.
“You want to care for it, I assume?” she answered, wearing a knowing smile. I nodded.
“And I think I have a way for it to stay incognito. It couldn’t do what Strong Shield has done, but maybe…” I turned to the changeling. “Can you turn into a dog?” The changeling thought for a moment. Then, green fire washed over its form. When it receded, there stood before me not a changeling, but a large dog; a mix of Alsatian and Collie.
I was surprised at just how believable it was. Changelings are masters of disguise, but there are usually chinks in their armour. Usually, their personalities don’t match with the real thing, and they eventually come unstuck if somepony looks carefully. That and they can’t alter the signature green colour of their magic. Still, the canine that stood before me seemed real enough. It barked, followed commands, wagged its tail, lolled out its tongue and scratched at itself. Strong Shield said that, as long as I kept it well fed, it would stick with me.
So, at the end of the day, I took it back on the train and introduced Charlie (named for one Charlie Barkin) to she who must be obeyed.
That was an interesting conversation.
Anyway, back to the present. I was just about ready to head off down to town hall with my wife and see old Cranky finally tie the knot with Matilda. All of a sudden though, there was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it!” I called out. With my tie still hanging loosely around my neck, I headed out of the bedroom and went downstairs into the hall.
Charlie was already standing at the front door, presumably looking for that bugbear. I hoped that the girls would have that all wrapped up before the ceremony started. Still, as long as an army of changelings didn’t try to disrupt this one, we would probably be fine. If they can fight them, they can certainly deal with that bugbear. Opening the front door, I found the venerable Time Turner; Ponyville’s clockmaker and resident scientist. And resident Timelord I might add, but we keep quiet about that.
“Hello, Time Turner,” I greeted. “What brings you down this way?” The stallion, who is on a par with Celestia and Luna in terms of his age, looked quite agitated. Across his back and draping down his sides was a suit, held in a dry cleaning bag.
“Roger, glad I caught you here,” Time Turner hurriedly replied. Like Twilight, Time Turner is prone to fits of sudden excitement and anxiety. He held up the suit with a hoof. “I was wondering if you could help me out with this.” I was a little confused.
“And I can help you how?” I prodded. Time Turner’s brow furrowed and he gestured to the suit.
“This is my old suit from when I was humanoid. It won’t fit this new body. I was wondering if you could perhaps put me in touch with that tailor of yours? Do you think he could lend me something?” I shook my head.
“No, even if you could get up to Canterlot, you’d never get back in time for the wedding.” Internally, I was slightly criticising the old clockmaker for not checking his suit beforehand. “Well, why not try Rarity? I know she’s more of a dressmaker, but she might be able to jury-rig a temporary fix.” In response, the chestnut stallion pointed out the window. Rarity was currently lashing out at the bugbear with her magic, doing her best to help Applejack tie it up.
“Oh, right,” I said, feeling a little silly at forgetting the small skirmish going on outside my house. “Well, try a few other stallions in town. Big Mac won’t have anything, but Caramel might, or maybe Thunderlane.” Thanking me for at least trying to help, Time Turner set out again to continue his quest.
As he left, I could hear him chattering away to himself. He was saying something about flameless fireworks or something like that. The stallion really treads that fine line between being brilliant and being mad as a bloody march hare.
Closing the door, I headed back upstairs, sending Charlie back into the kitchen. He would be coming with us to the wedding as well. We were planning to introduce him to everypony. As a dog, mind you; we were only going to tell ponies we could trust not to blab or panic that he was actually a drone. He seemed quite happy with the new arrangement. In the fortnight he’s lived with us, he’s settled in quite well. It’s hard to believe that these creatures are also one of Equestria’s most feared enemies.
Heading upstairs again, I found that my wife was now ready to head out. She’d gone for a semi-formal outfit for the wedding; the sort of thing she used to wear to church. This would actually be the first civil ceremony we had attended, since Equestria doesn’t have organised religion as we know it.
“Ready to go?” I asked as I grabbed the house keys from the dresser. Our plan was to leave a little earlier than needed so we didn’t end up rushing there if we got delayed. Experience had shown me just how easy it was for such a thing to happen, particularly when you have kids.
“Yes, yes, I’m ready,” my wife replied, throwing a cardigan on. “Come on, let’s get a move on!” After returning once to pick up her handbag, we headed downstairs and out the front door and set off for town hall. Naturally, I had to carry the wedding present.
Ponyville was already quite busy as it was; bugbear attack or not. Everypony in town seemed to be pitching in to help out with Cranky and Matilda’s wedding. Looking skyward, I saw that even the weather was being taken care of.
High above, a lone dark blue pegasus, with a long brown mane, was busily busting up a few clouds. That’s apparently how they get rid of them when they’re not needed; they literally kick them out of existence. She seemed to be making steady progress and enjoying herself too.
That was my youngest daughter; Lizzie. Originally, it had only been Bones that had been transformed into a pony, and a unicorn at that. When we first arrived in Ponyville, Fluttershy, one of Twilight’s friends, had offered to take care of her, as there wasn’t enough space at the library.
The pair quickly became friends and, with little else to do while we were waiting to see Celestia, Lizzie began to help Fluttershy look after the many animals that she cares for; the mare is like some sort of equine version of James Heriot. However, at times, her lack of wings restricted her from helping Fluttershy as much as she wanted.
At some point in late March, Discord had dropped by to see Fluttershy. He’d already become friends with me, and found great delight in annoying my son (something we have in common), and so quickly introduced himself to Lizzie. She happened to comment, according to Discord, that she felt bad about not being able to fly. Since the next day was April Fools’ Day, Discord decided to pull one of his infamous pranks. In addition to temporarily turning my son into an alicorn, much to his annoyance, he also turned her into the pegasus she is today. Originally, the spell was meant to wear off after seven days, but after spending a week as a flying pony, my daughter decided that she liked the unexpected change. Discord then extended the spell making it permanent.
With wings and a cutie mark to her name, Lizzie continued to live with Fluttershy, helping her when she could. But, insisting that she pay her way, she took Rainbow Dash up on the offer of full time employment with the Weather Patrol (the pegasus had helped teach her basic flight skills when she first changed and found that she had an aptitude for weather work).
And so, today, she has a full time paying job with the Weather Patrol. She even helped out with last year’s big tornado. I waved up to her as we passed by.
“Hey there, Lizzie!” I called up. She quickly broke off from her weather duties and floated down towards us.
“Hi Dad. Hi Mom,” she replied, hovering a few feet off the ground. “You two heading off to the wedding?”
“Yeah, we thought we’d get an early start in case of that bugbear thing,” Margaret replied. “What about you, keeping the sky clear for the big day?” Lizzie nodded.
“It was supposed to be a few of us. But Dash is helping Twilight and the others, Cloud Kicker’s kid is sick, and Thunderlane…actually I think he’s just hung over.” She chuckled at that last part. “Don’t worry though. I’ll manage. I’ll see you and your pet idiot at the wedding though, right?”
“Don’t call your brother that, sweetie,” I implored. With that, she took off back into the sky.
Heading along the path to town hall, we passed an unusual looking building. It was as if two houses had been melded into one. The left hand side was not too far from the ordinary, a conservative brick design, with a few musical notes adorning the front of the house. The other side was a completely different story, with wild, bright colours and maddening designs all over the walls.
This was the home of two of Ponyville’s more famous residents, Octavia Melody and Vinyl Scratch, also known as DJ Pon-3. The two lived together as roommates, splitting the large house between them when they pooled their resources to purchase it.
Neither pony was from Ponyville originally. Octavia, as I have said before, hails from the picturesque town of Trottingham, a little way to the north. Vinyl meanwhile…well, actually I’m not entirely certain. Though I do know she spends a fair amount of her time away, either in Canterlot, or Manehatten, or Baltimare, or Fillydelphia; really anywhere that there’s a club venue for her to play at.
I’ve attended some of Octavia’s performances, either with my wife, or with Celestia and a few other ponies. Occasionally, she does solo concerts or as part of a string quartet, but most of her performances are as a part of the Royal Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. She is certainly very talented, just as much as she is talented in her other profession.
Vinyl’s style of music is…not exactly my cup of tea. Her style of music was coming to the fore when I was busy raising my son. While on the surface it appears to be quite crude; merely a series of loud electronic noises, I will admit that it does hold some merit. On occasion, I have heard her composing new pieces (she is sensible enough to keep with the noise ordinances and doesn’t keep half of Ponyville awake in the night) every now and again, and they did get me bobbing my head to the beat.
When you put the two ponies and their styles together though, you get something truly remarkable. For that reason, they had been asked to play at the reception. I had to admit, I was looking forward to that.
As we continued on, we entered the centre of Ponyville and town hall itself came into view. The wedding wasn’t for another half hour or so, so I figured that we could do our best to help out. Heading inside and telling Charlie to find somewhere to sit, the two of us began to help out putting up the decorations inside.
Most of the work was already done, but there were a few odds and ends to finish up. As we were working though, I picked up on a conversation between Lyra and Bon Bon, the former of which was something of an institution in Ponyville, her interest in humanity being virtually unrivalled. The two seemed to be in a bit of a heated argument, and I couldn’t help but listen in.
Luna had told me she had an agent here in Ponyville, but of all the possible choices, I had never expected it to be Bon Bon. She explained to Lyra that she had been on the trail of the bugbear currently attacking the town for some time, and that her real name was indeed Sweetie Drops. The bugbear was in town looking for her after all this time. Both Lyra and I were taken aback, even more so when Bon Bon abseiled out the window to go and fight it.
Half an hour later, everything was almost ready to go. We were only minus the music and a few guests; quite a few had arrived with Octavia and her DJ friend when they came crashing through on their sound system. Celestia and Luna had arrived about ten minutes ago. In an unusual turn of events, I got to see a side to the two princesses I had never seen before. It seemed that the pair had forgotten to bring along their wedding present; Celestia had left it on the counter. The two of them descended into arguing like the sisters they are. Luna insisted that it was Celestia’s turn, since she got the present for Cadence and Shining, whilst Celestia was fretting over looking foolish, having turned up with no gift.
Heading to sit down with my wife, I came across Shining and Cadence. The usually stern captain of the Royal Guard was currently bawling his eyes out. Cadence looked a little haggard as we walked up.
“Sorry, Shining always cries at weddings,” she explained as the stallion continued to weep like a filly.
“Why couldn’t my wedding be like this!” the Prince of the Crystal Empire lamented. Ah, yes, that would explain it.
Time Turner then arrived, sitting down a few rows ahead of us. Evidently, he hadn’t been able to get a suit, since he was currently wearing a very long and familiar looking scarf. He was still fretting about his flameless fireworks he’d set up, still having no idea how to ignite them.
Time Turner, along with a few other ponies, quite a lot in fact, had all arrived with Vinyl and Octavia. The pair had arrived on Vinyl’s large DJ system, which had somehow ended up hurling along the road towards town when the two mares realised they were running late. The contraption had blasted through into town hall with half the townsfolk on board, including the lovely couple themselves. What with all the craziness that had happened today, at this point I was happy to just let it slide and get on with the wedding.
Our two children came to sit with us as well. It was odd to see the pair together, but since both Fluttershy and Applejack were still busy with the bugbear, they had decided to sit with us. My daughter joined us without incident. But as my son walked up, he stopped dead in his tracks and stared and the seat behind me, where I had left Charlie.
“What the sam hell is that thing doing here?!” he exclaimed. “Can’t you varmints let one wedding go through without messin’ things up?” Turning around to look at Charlie, I quickly saw the problem.
He was no longer disguised.
The changeling was sitting there in full view, though as yet unnoticed, happily sucking up love from all around. A few feet away from him, the foals that had previously been making a fuss of him, were now trying to sit as far away as possible.
“No, Charlie! Back as a dog! Back as a dog!” I exclaimed, waving at him wildly. Luckily, the little tyke seemed to catch on and quickly returned to his previous form. I had planned to tell both my kids about him, but now I was forced to hurriedly explain why I had a changeling pretending to be my pet dog. Like me though, I think both my kids were too worn out from everything to really give a monkey’s.
With that, the ceremony began.
It’s been a long time since I went to a wedding. Since both the wife and I were the youngest in our family, these days the only time we meet up with more distant family was when yet another relative passes. I remember, not too long before we ended up in Equestria, my wife pointed out that there were only five people on our wedding photo who were still alive.
So, it was nice to go to this one, even if it was a little unusual for us. My son may be a rampant Dawkins level atheist, but our family as a whole is CoE Protestant. Equestrians though, don’t really have that much in the way of a religion; let’s face it, much of the mysticism here can be explained by magical science; ponies move the very sun and moon every day for goodness sake. So, it was more along the lines of a civil ceremony, with Mayor Mare presiding over things.
Still, it was a lovely ceremony. Mayor Mare gave a lovely, heart-warming speech about how we had all come together for this happy occasion. In this one room, there were princes and princesses, Royal Guard officers, government advisors, famous musicians, a secret agent, an anthropologist, weather ponies, farmers and cowponies, a changeling, teachers, scientists, mailponies, shop owners, vets, doctors and nurses, and two very happy donkeys.
As the mayor declared the two officially jack and jenny, Time Turner’s fireworks suddenly burst into life. It turned out, according to both the good doctor himself and Princess Cadance, that the trigger was love. The flameless rockets shot up into the air, exploding merrily amongst the rafters.
That was pretty damn close to your normal day in Ponyville. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.