Mediocronomicon

by NorrisThePony


Vitamins

"No!"

Celestia brought a hoof to the bridge of her snout and looked down at Twilight, sitting on the floor and wearing a pouting frown.

"Twilight, for heavens sake."

"I don't wanna!"

"Pleeeeeease? For me?"

Twilight ignored her, refusing to break her pouting frown. "No! I don't wanna, and you can't make me."

"You only have to take two of them!"

"Uh uh."

"One?"

Twilight shook her head viciously. "I don't wanna," she said again.

"Your flu isn't going to go away until you take them! Do you want to be sick forever?"

Twilight broke her pouting expression and frowned introspectively, for several seconds.

Deciding her flu was infinitely more tolerable than the horrible tasting vitamin before her, she reassumed her childish and assertive stance.

"Yes."

Celestia let out a long sigh. "Twilight, this would perhaps be adorable if you were, like, three," Celestia said impatiently. "The fact of the matter is that you are approaching a hundred years old and yet I still have to force you to eat your vitamins."

"They taste gross though! Why didn't you get the gummy ones?"

"Because the prospect of giving a sugar-filled vitamin perplexes me," Celestia replied. She gave the jar of vitamins an encouraging shake. "But these ones look like dinosaurs! Look, a stegosaurus!"

"Don't patronize me, woman," Twilight grumbled, and violently wrenched the jar from Celestia with her magic.

"I'm only thinking of your health, my love."

"Well, you're giving me a headache."

"I will make you an ultimatum," Celestia said. "You take your vitamins, or no sexytimes tonight. I'm not making love to a leper."

"Stop saying that! It's just a flu!" Twilight protested. "Also what the heck! The Treaty of Verse-hay wasn't as harsh as that ultimatum!"

Begrudgingly, Twilight took to trying in vain to remove the cap from the jar of vitamins. She quickly became frustrated by the child-proof-lock and instead took to blasting the entire thing into ash with her magic.

"Oops," she said, frowning at the hunk of dust and gnarled plastic. Nary a single vitamin had survived her vicious assault. "Does this mean no sexytimes...?"

"Nah," Celestia shrugged. "It was an empty bluff."

"Good."