“Am I going to turn around and see another five of you clowns?” Newlight deadpanned.
“Nay. There is but the three of us.” Middlelight said. She was between Old and Newlight in size.
“Could be worse I guess.” Newlight grumbled. “You, ex-Luna, what’s your story? Why are you in my universe?”
“An accident.” Middlelight said.
“You accidentally teleported into this universe or something?” Newlight asked.
“I accidentally destroyed mine.” Middlelight smiled sheepishly.
“Pipsqueak here the bright idea of merging her entire universe with a younger one to stave off the heat death.” Oldlight explained. “Turns out that matter that isn’t Twilight Sparkle gets canceled out by matter from another universe, like matter and antimatter. Both universes exploded so violently that a couple trillion universes were flattened outright and another trillion became detached from the continuity of time and causality.”
“T- T- T- TRILLIONS?” Newlight screeched. “You’re talking casually about the death of trillions of universes! That’s like a trillion-trillion lives! How many Twilight Sparkles were killed?”
“Uh, zero.” Oldlight grunted. “I mean, besides in universes where a Twilight wasn’t yet born or wasn’t yet an alicorn. Once you gain those pretty wings, nothing short of the Ultra Twilight can kill you.”
“Buck you.” Newlight spat. This was getting ridiculous. “What the hell is an Ultra Twilight?”
“I’ve met many other Twilights from my days hopping around universes. Some were older, some were younger. The oldest Twilight I ever met was the one who told me about the Ultra Twilight. Imagine that all ponies, alicorns, zebras, whathaveyou in your normal universe are ants. You, a Twilight just made alicorn, is like a rat. That’s a few orders of magnitude above, and that’s understating the gulf. In this analogy I’m the size of a dog.”
“I would be a slightly smaller dog.” Middlelight contributed.
“Get the buck out of here. You’re closer to her age than mine.” Oldlight scoffed. “That makes you a slightly larger rat.”
“Fine.” Middlelight pouted.
“Anyway, the oldest Twilight I ever met would be comparable to twenty or thirty whales. And I mean big blue whales, not minke or belugas. She was utterly massive. The Ultra Twilight though…” Oldlight leaned forward. “The sun? Larger still? A thousand suns? Inconceivably old and huge. The Ultra Twilight is basically god.”
“Why does existence require a metaphysical god?” Newlight asked.
“Because why else are Twilights like this? Why do we exist to hop between universes? By all rights we should live like other alicorns or be confined to our own universe. There must be an all powerful entity making this possible for us.’
Newlight saw the logic of it. “Is she worshiped?”
“What would be the point? The Ultra Twilight already favors us clearly. Besides she’s the one and only god above literally infinite Twilights. Do you think individual prayers could reach her?”
“I must be more mature than you in this one way, Oldlight, because I believe in omnipotence.” Newlight laughed. “After everything you’ve shared how can I not? If there is a prime mover out there she must necessarily be capable of absolutely everything.”
Middlelight spoke up. “Unless that first movement she made was in a realm of nothing. It doesn’t take much to disturb nothing.
Oldlight snorted. “Profound.”
Newlight rolled to her hooves. “Not that it hasn’t been exhilarating, but my friends have been waiting on me for the last hour. They’ve really got to be wondering where I am.”
With a puff of smoke, her cosmic counterparts returned to the shape of Celestia and Luna. “Of course dear Twilight. I have kept you long enough.”
Luna took a step forward. “Would’st thou mind if I join you?” She winked.
“It actually kinda a friends and family thing.” Twilight Sparkle smiled apologetically. “I mean if you want to, but relatives I haven't seen in a while and-”
“Oh no no I wouldn’t want to steal the spotlight or anything.” Luna quickly started making excuses, blushing deeply. “It is your special day. Your family…” She shut her mouth.
“Yeah, it a family thing. Family get together. And friends... You’re still welcome! Don’t think your not.” Twilight was trying to salvage it and failing. “My mother would love to meet you. Probably...” She fell quiet as well.
Without another word, Twilight left the room.
Celestia waited for the clip of hooves on marble to fade to remark. “That was cringe-inducing. What were you even trying to do?”
“Verily, never has anything been so awkward.” Luna agreed softly. “Please, kill me.”
“Actually, I can think of ONE more embarrassing thing.” Celestia grinned deviously. “Remember what happened to the original Celestia and Luna?”
“OH GOD.” Luna cried, her whole face becoming as bright red as her cheeks. “I am no longer in need of death. Surely this is hell already.”