//------------------------------//
// Chapter 57 
// Story: A New Beginning in a New Land 
// by REDACTED99999 
//------------------------------//

He laid on his back, panting heavily. He had somehow managed to drag himself out into a field, where he could see the night sky.
It was beautiful. Absolutely stunning. The overflow of stars, the way they gleamed down at him, it just set him at ease, which he really needed, the way his thoughts had been running around in circles.
‘Why did they call me Jax?’ He had thought.
‘I am Sombra.’ He had answered himself almost desperately.
‘But they called me Jax.’
‘… Must have been a slave name. They also set me on fire.’
‘… No... that doesn’t feel right.’
‘But it is. They are the enemy.’
‘The unicorn… she didn’t look like someone who had found her escaped slave.’ He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the relief in her eyes wasn’t… evil. And the surprise in her voice when he ran away… it didn’t add up if he was a slave.
Yet the memories of her setting him on fire and looking at him with disgust was all he could remember about her. Those memories did not make her seem very friendly.
All those thoughts were shoved to the back of his mind as he looked at glimmering stars above him. The moon shone brightly, illuminating the meadow with its soft glow, somehow making everything seem a bit more magical and less threatening. It was a welcome contrast to the claustrophobic atmosphere in the forest behind him.
His breath was caught in his throat as he felt again, for lack of better words, as if his soul was being tugged on. Instead of denying that something was happening like last time, he resisted. He resisted with everything he had, setting his skepticism aside for the fear of losing something so precious that it contained everything he was and had been.
After a few short, ragged breaths that felt like an eternity, the feeling disappeared. Not his unease, though. Something was wrong - he knew that. He had felt it since he ‘woke up.’ The pieces were far from coming together, and he was still a confused mess, especially after he met that unicorn.
‘I am King Sombra!’ His thoughts told him sternly, but even that was wrong. Everything was wrong.
‘Am I, though?’ The thoughts he had been having since coming to were irrational from the beginning. The very first thing he thought was that he was King Sombra, even though he couldn’t remember anything about his… about who he was. The second thing was to go into the forest… more of a command really. It didn’t make sense. Why would he willingly come into this hell-hole of a forest? Why did everything feel so wrong? Why did his instincts and his thoughts contradict each other?
What was… going on? What… who… why…?
He let the tears glide down his dirty cheeks, as his frustration rose. It wasn’t fair. What did he do to deserve this? Why were his thoughts such a mess, and why did some of them make his stomach cringe painfully?
He dried his tears quickly, wishing he had some paper for his running nose. He felt so fucking helpless and he didn’t know what to do.
‘Just give in… why do you continue to fight?!’ The edge of frustration in the thought made about as much sense as the thought itself.
“What the fuck does that even mean?!” He asked no one in particular. Why was he thinking random shit that he didn’t even know what they meant. He was going insane, that must be it.
The tugging came back full force, except it didn’t feel like tugging anymore. It felt like someone had a very firm grip on his soul and was trying to rip it away from his body or die trying. It was the most dreadful, chilling, fear inducing feeling he had felt so far.
He screamed in pain and fear, as he held on with everything he had. What he was holding on to, he wasn’t exactly sure, but he refused to give in to whatever this was.
‘WHY DO YOU FIGHT?!’ It was a roar inside his head that amplified his headache. ‘YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FIGHT FOR! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT SOMBRA!’ it continued, making him literally wet his pants in fear.
“I… I…” Why was he holding on? Except the feeling that something was wrong, he had nothing. Nothing to fight for, nothing to hold on to, except a few scattered memories. Words could not describe how lost he felt there in the meadow under the starlight. He was covered in dirt and piss and snot, confused and alone, unsure of everything around him, his very thoughts screaming at him to let go….
And how easy it would be to just let go! He wouldn’t have to be afraid, he wouldn’t have to be confused. He wouldn’t have to be alone in the dark, exhausted and paranoid.
He didn’t think it was possible, but the pulling intensified, and without a reason to fight, he felt his willpower wane and he was so close to just… giving in. Tired… he was so tired. It would be so much easier… what was there for him anyway? 
He had just closed his eyes when he heard hooves impact on the ground not far from his position. He opened his eyes in alarm, looking over to the sound, the tug of war put on standby for a moment.
It was an alicorn that looked like she came out of the night sky itself. Her fur was a black… no wait, a dark blue colour, her majestic wings were just starting to fold. Her mane and tail blended into the night sky behind her almost perfectly, making him blink repeatedly at the beauty of it, but what really took his breath away was her cyan eyes.
They were looking at him with so much feeling, so much care that he could barely breathe. Even dirty and quite frankly revolting as he was at the moment, there was not a single drop of disgust in those eyes, only a deep concern that made him feel better than he had felt since he ‘woke up’ in front of the forest.
“Jax…” her voice shook, her face looked like she was in pain. “Or Sombra?”
“I…” his voice was raspy. “I don’t know.” He admitted, the tears threatening to make a violent return.
She took a step forward, nothing but concern on her muzzle, but he pulled himself back. “Stay back!” He called, not really sure why. She was… she was trustworthy… right?
A growl resounded within his mind. ‘Do not trust her….’
He didn’t know what to do anymore.
She looked… hurt in a way, like his words had cut her, but she took a step back nonetheless. “It shall be as thou commandeth.” She looked nervous, unsure what to do, yet continued with her quite frankly adorable way of speaking. “We shall keep Ourself, and anypony else that neareth thee at bay”
He couldn’t help but smile, just a little. Who speaks like that? Well… for all he knew it was common around these parts… but still. He nodded “Thank you.”
She looked back with a serious expression. “We… thou must give us an oath in return.”
He raised a brow at her. That sounded a bit fishy. “And… what does this oath entail?” He asked, paranoia overtaking him once again, everything from swearing his allegiance to her, to promising never to run from her again went through his mind.
She looked at him, apparently contemplating something. “Thou… hath noticed some matters doth not make sense? Perchance even in thine own mind?”
His eyes widened at the words. He nodded hesitantly.
“Very well, then thine oath to us shall be, that thou shalt not surrender to the voice that lay inside thine mind. The voice that thou canst hear, nay feel, is not of thine own thoughts, but still whispers promises of power… thou canst not give in, for what thou shalt loseth, 'tis far more than thou stand to gain.”Her voice shook with emotion. He could feel that this wasn’t easy for her.
‘No! Do not do it… you cannot trust her!’
He contemplated the oath. She had put his feelings into words, and he recognized the truth in them, except….
“It doesn’t whisper… it demands. Nothing about power either….” He informed her. 
‘I can give you power if you want. Together we will rule the world. With your body and my intellect, there will be nothing to stop us.’
He took a shivering breath as he felt a violent pull yet again. He had almost ignored how wrong it was, but this alicorn reminded him. He still had some fight in him. “I promise you that I won’t give in to whatever it is.” He said with utmost determination. The pull on his soul slackened, before disappearing entirely.
‘No! This should have worked flawlessly!’
She sighed in relief. A small smile appeared on her muzzle, although she still looked pensive. “I… thank you Jax.”
For some reason, that smile made her look even more beautiful. Her eyes lit up just a bit, just enough for him to get lost in their beauty.
‘I was so close! So close I could almost taste it!’ 
She laid down with her legs beneath her, and they just looked at each other for the longest time. He felt no need to say anything as he kept ignoring the voice in his head, and just let himself remain lost in her eyes. The more he looked, the more she seemed to relax. The more she relaxed, the bigger her smile became, and the bigger her smile became, the more her eyes lit up. That of course, just made her seem more beautiful, making him unable to look away. And so the circle continued.
By the time she spoke up, she had a grin on her muzzle. “Like what you see?” Her voice was thick with mirth, though there was still an edge of uncertainty behind it.
He blinked a couple of times, as if coming out of a daze. Then he considered his possible answers, but in the end he was too tired to come up with a lie. “Yes.” He answered bluntly instead. “Especially your eyes are beautiful. I’m digging the mane as well.” He realized how creepy he must sound, making him blush in embarrassment. There he was, covered in both filth from the forest and himself, and she looked like a freaking angel, wings and all.
Speaking of, her wings ruffled a bit as she giggled. They did look a bit ragged, like she had been flying for a while.
Her giggle sounded nice. Maybe he could make her giggle some more.
Before he could think of something funny, and honestly he needed some time with the situation they were in, she spoke again. “I want to apologize, Jax. I meant to tell you some things while we waited, but….” She blushed. Through her fur. For some reason he wasn’t as surprised as he felt he should be, like this was how it was meant to be. “In any case… there are only three hours left of the effect from that potion you drank. You will be able to remember everything then.”
His eyes widened yet again. Potion? What potion? There was some glass that shattered when he woke, was that what she meant? “Really?!” That was the best news he could have imagined. He would understand everything if what she said was true. Finally he could be free of this confusion!
She nodded. “Yes. I have been keeping track of the time. I realize that you might not know me as you are now, but we are… very close friends. My name is Luna.”
He wanted to run over and hug her. What stopped him wasn’t his spoiled pants, or the snot coming out of his nose, or the dirt covering his entire body, but rather when he raised himself up, his own legs that gave away from underneath him. He was able cushion the fall with his hands, so he didn’t smash his head into the ground or anything but… he was so exhausted. It was pathetic but… it was probably for the best. He wouldn’t make her dirty this way.
He rolled over unto his back. Luna was half raised, with one leg stretched forward, looking uncertain whether she should move or not. In the end she lowered back down. “Are you… alright?”
“… relatively… maybe… fuck, I don’t know.” He answered, his raspy voice reminding him how thirsty he really was. He overall felt like shit. He dried away the tears that were surfacing with his dirty arm. Of course he got dirt in his eye for his troubles. “For fucks sake! Why does nothing go my way?” He was still frustrated. It was better than before, but now came the wait.
“I….” She trailed off.
“Do you know that feeling when you want something, but you don’t know what? I feel like there is something I want so badly… something just out of reach, and I want to clasp my hand around it and never let it go. But I don’t know what it is and it frustrates me so much I could just…!” He clenched his fist.
“Perhaps… it is thine memories that thy desire.” Her voices calmed him down some, though he didn’t unclench his fist yet. “Doth thou… require mine aid? Perchance, mine embrace might help thee with thine frustrations.” Her voice sounded almost pleading. It trembled a bit at the word ‘embrace’. 
He thought over his options, or at least he tried to. It was all a muddled mess, so he just searched his feelings instead.
“Yeah… a hug sounds nice right about now. I’m… pretty dirty though….” His cheeks burned with shame.
“I can assure you…” She rose from her position and made her way over to him. “That I do not mind one bit.” He noticed that she had switched back to modern English, before all thought abandoned him, as she enveloped him with both hooves and wings in the most awesome hug ever. It just felt so right, and the feeling of being secure in her grasp finally made him unclench his fist completely and just relax. Suddenly, he didn’t feel quite so irritated. It had the side effect of making his eyelids heavy.
He resisted for a while, if nothing else then to enjoy the feeling of her nuzzling his cheek with her own sporadically, but when she started humming a familiar tune, he could hold on no longer.
“I was so afraid I would lose you, my Jax… I am so sorry….” A whisper reached him just before he lost consciousness.
***
He woke up with a jolt as his memories streamed back one at a time, so fast he could barely register it. It wasn’t painful like he had expected, well not really… it was like the pain after getting a splinter pulled out… it stings, but ultimately you feel better.
And Jax felt so much better, even though he was still tired. It was like he had been trying to solve a puzzle with one and a half piece, and now that he had all the pieces, he realized that the one piece he had wasn’t a part of the puzzle at all, but a trick so devious and evil he could barely believe it. 
‘Sombra almost got me…’ he realized. The thought sent a shiver of fear all the way down his spine. ‘I was seconds from giving in….’
A deep growl sounded from within him. ‘Do not remind me. Is it not enough that I lost, now you salt the wound? So close… one more second and your body would have been mine… so close….’
“Girls! He’s awake!” Rainbow Dash alarmed the ponies in the other room.
He realized that he was back in his bed… naked but covered by a blanket, and still dirty. He clenched his jaw as a large number of ponies tried to get into a room that was too small for them all. The elements, Luna, Celestia, Mr. Bear and even Beating Heart were all looking at him with worry.
Silence reigned for a couple of seconds, but before anypony could say anything, he threw off the blanket and pushed past them, forcing them to make a path for him. He made straight for the fridge where he knew he had some bottled water.
He felt relief through his entire body as the cold fluid made its way down his throat. After he had drunk the entire bottle, he made his way over to the tap to get some more.
As he refilled and gulped down the bottle of water one more time, the ponies simply looked at him with concern. He couldn’t even bring himself to care that he was naked at the moment. Who gave a fuck anyway? Ponies walk around naked all the time. Fluttershy was the one who seemed to be bothered the most by it, though a couple of the others had a visible blush. Celestia and Beating Heart seemed to be faring better than the rest.
All this he observed from the corner of his eye, refusing to look at them directly. He had hoped the water would cool him down, but he could still feel the warm ember of anger burning in the pit of his stomach. He could barely control his shaking hand.
He finally put the bottle down in the sink, and without looking up whispered “get out.”
“Did he… did he just tell us to get out?” Rainbow asked in disbelief. 
”Get out!” He shouted as he finally lost it. He turned to face them fully. “Get the fuck out of here and leave me alone!”
“But you just woke up silly, and we want to make-“
Jax pointed at Pinkie “Fuck you and your cheery attitude!” He cut her off, his voice and face reflecting his anger. Her smile fell and her mane deflated a bit at his unexpected words. 
He pointed at Twilight. “Fuck you for being a judgemental bitch.” She flinched as if struck. 
He pointed at Rarity. She bit her lips, awaiting his words, but nothing came to mind. 
He moved on to Luna. “Fuck you for leaving when I needed you most.” Her eyes widened in surprise.
He pointed at Mr. Bear, but didn’t have anything.
“Now listen here partner….”
He set his sights on Applejack. “Fuck you and your bitch of a brother!” She scowled at him but didn’t say anything more.
He had nothing for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, the last of whom just raised a brow when he pointed at her.
“I’m not sure what you’re doing here, but fuck you anyway!” He informed Beating Heart.
“Just came by to visit….” She muttered under her breath, looking like she was starting to regret that decision.
And finally, the turn came to the biggest pony in the room. Celestia. “And you. Especially you. Fuck you and your plans! A thousand years and yet the best you could come up with was ‘let’s wait and see.’ Well look what the fuck that gave us!” Celestia just looked at him calmly, which just pissed him off more. “We should have blasted me with magic the second we knew he was inside of me blasting him to hell, or out of me, or anything! But no, you couldn’t take the risk! Too dangerous! Well look where your plan got us! Absolutely fucking nowhere!” Jax couldn’t remember the last time he had been this angry. Actually, this might just be the angriest he had ever been, and his shouting at the very ponies who had saved him didn’t help the fire that was starting to burn brightly.
“I am sorry it turned out-“ Celestia started, but he couldn’t take her calm tone.
“Sorry?! The fuck do you know about sorrow! I almost lost myself to a god damn piece of shit shadow who wants nothing more than to take over the world and you’re sorry. Oh well I guess then everything is fine and dandy!” His sarcasm made her close her eyes for a moment. When she opened them he saw a brief fire in them that disappeared just as quickly as it came. 
She moved over to him and placed a hoof his shoulder, keeping eye contact all the while, her normally tranquil gaze felt as hard as steel. “I know more about sorrow than you ever will, Jax.” She told him, still calm and collected, with an air certainty from somepony who had gone through this a thousand times before. He wanted to look away from those magenta eyes, so full of a thousand years of hard-earned wisdom, but he couldn’t. “I have seen the rise and fall of kingdoms, seen my beloved friends die over and over again, and even banished my only family to the moon.” As she continued to talk, her eyes slowly changed back to being kind and caring, and as warm as the sun. Just beyond the horizon though he could see so much regret that he was surprised she could keep going every day. “I can’t say I’ve ever went through what you did, Jax, and I’m sorry that it happened, but what I imagined when I planned this was that you talked with your friends. Told them how you felt, what Sombra was doing, how he kept you up at night… but you just shut them out. You shut them out and let Sombra take you on alone.” She sighed deeply and finally let him go. He felt weak in the knees as her gaze left him. The full force of her gaze was not meant for mortal men.
Her gaze, hard as it was to bear, had calmed him down enough to let him realize something… he didn’t yell at them because he was angry at them, not really. He was afraid. The full implications of Sombra’s presence had hit him, and he was too weak to take it… he could lose himself to the shadow. Hell, he almost did… he had underestimated the cursed pony because he didn’t actually think that he would be able to do anything. But he did, and he had been on the verge of winning and Jax would have lost control of his own body.
He collapsed to his hands and knees into a shivering heap of sobs. The very same ponies he had just yelled at came running to his side instantly, every single one of them. Luna was the first to step forward and hug him, but soon all the other followed except Celestia. 
He felt warm. So warm and protected. That was the only reason he was able to get words out. “I f-forgot who I was.” He sniffled. “I f-forgot and I was so alone and s-scared.” The floodgates were open, and he couldn’t stop the tears that fell as he continued. “Sombra told me what to do, where to go, and I just… I thought it was m-my own thoughts. He showed me his own memories and I thought they were m-mine. Then after I met Twilight he became more forceful and told me to just give in… and i-if Luna hadn’t come I-I would h-have. I would have lost m-myself to him and I wouldn’t even know how much I lost until it was too late and I-“ He choked on the rest of the words that were trying to force their way out. He shook with fear and shock.
“Even if he had, we would have saved you.” Twilight informed him.
“We will find a way to get him out you, my Jax. Do not worry too much… he had his chance and he failed. He will not get another one.” Luna told him with enough conviction to make him shake a little less.
“That’s right darling, we won’t leave you hanging.” Rarity told him.
“Yeah, we’d never let you get hurt.” Rainbow’s voice was the epitome of confidence.
“And even if you did get hurt, I’d nurse you back to full health.” Beating Heart said with a smile.
Tears were falling down his cheeks, but a small smile spread on his face regardless.
“Oh. Uhm, I’d probably help with the nursing. Not that you should get hurt….” Fluttershy meekly contributed.
“And hey! At least you didn’t get set on fire!’ Pinkie said as her mane sprung back to life, while the others gave her a deadpan stare. “… what… aren’t we still using that joke? Oh, alright… at least you didn’t have to go through three days of pain!” Pinkie’s joke made him snort.
“Ah, shucks sugarcube, if Ah knew ya had it that bad Ah would have come by earlier. Ah thought ya learned ta talk with us back when Princess Luna left ya without a word. You need to make sure to learn you’re lessons.”
Jax couldn’t help but agree. These were his friends… he really needed to learn to tell them what was troubling him. He was just so used to keeping it all to himself… opening up was harder than he had imagined.
“Nothing is impossible… with a few friends by your side. That is a lesson I learned a long time ago… and one I hope you take it to heart.” Celestia’s soft voice reached him from where she stood a little away. She sounded almost proud.
“Thank you. Thank you all.” He raised his head, showing them his tears… and his smile.