These Old Claws of Mine

by megabyte97


Hate

I stand up silently as the train starts moving, grabbing my bag and toolbox from the overhead compartment as I stretch. Neither of my companions say a word as I open the door to our little room and walk out.

‘...Well that was awkward,’ I think silently as I walk over to one of the attendants in the hallway.

“Hello, Miss?” I ask as the brown earth pony mare looks up. “Hi, do you know which way the night car is?”

The mare smiles. “It’s actually the next car down,” she says in a perky voice, pointing to a door right behind her.

I nod my thanks and head for the door. Stepping into the night car, I look at the small slots in the walls, complete with pillows and blankets, before carefully pushing my belongings into the far side of one and crawling in. I twist and turn trying to get comfortable before settling with lying on my stomach with an arm and leg hanging out of the cramped cubbyhole.

‘It’s not like we could talk about Luna with Ditzy in the room with us,’ I think, drifting off to sleep. ‘I learned my lesson after we had to replace the first wall.’


I’m walking in a field of white under a white sky.There is no color except for the black mare from before. Walking up to her, I see that she has grown a few inches and I now have to tilt my head to look her in the eye. She is no longer wearing her armor, and is instead sporting a navy blue dress that accents her figure, and would probably have me ‘pitching a tent’ if I was attracted to ponies.

“...Luna,” I say in greeting, only to be confused when the mare shakes her head.

“Nightmare Moon,” the mare says in response.

“...Well are you here to torture me again, Nightmare Moon?”

“...No.”

“Then why are you here?”

Nightmare Moon steps to one side and slowly gestures with one hand. Taking the silent invitation I start walking again, Nightmare falling into step beside me. I welcome the silence that settles between us as we walk through the empty expanse, knowing I am at the mare’s mercy once again.

“...We would like to apologize for our earlier behavior.” Nightmare Moon tells me, breaking the silence. “We know we have no right to ask forgiveness for our actions last night, but both Luna and I seek it...”

I stay silent as I ponder my response. The landscape changes around us until we are walking through a forest, a beaten path guiding us through the falling gold and red leaves.

I turn my head to look at her as we stop at a split in the path, “...Why did you try to bring eternal night?”

“...I used to be the perfect mask. A wall put between Luna and her emotions when they threatened to overwhelm her. However, even the best armors have weaknesses, and I was no different. I cracked, and when Luna’s emotions started drowning us she did the only thing she could think of… She built a new wall… a new mask.”

“I should have been forgotten after that, but once she gained control of her emotions she tried to recreate herself. Instead of a mask, I was ‘the old Luna,’ the Luna who killed hundreds if not thousands, and who sentenced countless of my own subjects to die for the greater good.”

“...‘The old Luna’ was a monster… that is why our subjects did not love us. ‘The old Luna’ killed and twisted the truth when it suited her… She hated me… Do you know what it’s like to hate yourself, Logan?” I nod my head. “It hurts…”

Nightmare Moon takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment before continuing, “Neither of us remember what caused the break to happen, but after a time I found myself in control… I hated it. We had slipped back to our old self… I broke down as soon as I was alone…”

Nightmare pauses for a moment before looking me in the eyes. “I wanted to die, Logan, but I knew if I tried to kill myself you all would save me, even if I didn’t want to be saved. So I gave you all a choice; you all could kill me... or I would kill everything.”


I jump as someone shakes my shoulder, immediately regretting it as I clutch my head where I banged it against my cubbyhole’s ceiling. “Son-of-a-” Grunting in pain I stop myself before turning my blurry eyes to the culprit that chased away my dream.

“Get up,” Blueblood tells me with an annoyed look on his face. “We have arrived in Canterlot.”