The clouds, regardless of where they hovered, had been the domain of the pegasi for as long as history was recorded. We’d shared them with the gryphons and the dragons, but no others were as in tune with them as us.
By tradition, we were taught that we were born of the wind. When we died, we had to be returned to it so that others may be born from our essence. It was as beautiful as it was heartbreaking.
I stood in the clouds holding the humblest of items: a large canteen. My lancers had had to carry me up. The war had ensured I couldn’t even honor my grandfather on my own. Although, thankfully, I’d never have to.
Every Black Dragoon in service stood behind me, waiting and watching.
“Clement Knight was family. To me by blood, but to you by arms. In this war, I’m not sure there is even a difference anymore. I trust myself to you as I do to my wife. He did the same. He is also one of the lucky ones.
“We should mourn the loss of any dragoon, but Clement is special. Clement did not die in combat with a sword in his hoof. He died peacefully, in his sleep, beside a brother-in-arms and his grandson and… and I’ll miss him horribly, but the war did not take him from me. Not him.”
With as much reverence as I could, I lifted the canteen and started to pour the ashes into the wind.
“Clement Knight, we return you to the wind from which you were born. Your family will miss you, but we will celebrate this moment as one unquestionable victory.”
I had to stop a moment and blink away tears. There had been a tremble in my voice. Come on, Silent.
One deep breath. One more pour from the canteen to empty it. “Clement Knight has come home. We should all be so lucky.”
The dragoons behind me replied softly, “I’ll come home.”
“Dismissed.”
One by one, they all came to me and set a hoof on my back before flying down. When Captain Brynja’s turn came, she asked, “May we help you down, zir?”
I shook my head. “Not yet, thank you. I’m going to stay here a while. You’re in command today.”
“I underztand, zir. I’ll leave two lancerz nearby for when you’re ready.”
“Thank you, dismissed.”
I’d meant the words but I felt empty. Tumble was gone, Reggie was gone, Clement was gone, and now, only Silent Knight remained. Just Silent Knight and Dread Knight. The former was easier to be when other ponies that cared were around.
We were almost to the goal line, Clem… you couldn’t have just held on a little longer and met Crystal? Met my future foals? One more day… which would turn into two more days… He was tired. It wasn’t fair to be angry or blame him. He stayed as long as he could.
My heart sank. I needed to get into my tent for a little while. The cloud beneath me was already starting to turn grey and I had no idea how to stop it. My wings flared out.
“Sir! Major, let us, please,” somepony said behind me.
I sighed and pulled my wings in tight. Two of my dragoons came to my sides and each looped a foreleg under one of mine. It was humiliating as they carried me down to the camp. I’m sure everyone saw it.
When we landed, I muttered, “Dismissed,” and ducked into my tent. My hooves wobbled slightly and I nestled onto the ground, burying my head into my forelegs. All alone now. We’re all alone. Probably for the best. Nobody else for the war to take away. Nobody but Silent.
That wasn’t true, though. It wouldn’t be for the best! I missed Crystal Wishes, Princess Luna, Winterspear, Runic, Iridescence, Velvet Step, and everypony else. I missed them all more and more each day. I just want to go home. What do I have to do to go home?
The flap of my tent shifted behind me.
“Major?”
My ears flicked. That wasn’t the voice of one of my dragoons. I turned my head to find Gray Maelstrom looking in. “Yes? What can I do for you, Warrant Officer?”
She took a few steps in and let the flap shut. “I heard about the sergeant major. He had my respect. How are you, sir?”
I pushed up and drew myself to my full height. Time to put on the show again. “I’m saddened but happy he went peacefully. He didn’t know the pain of defeat. It was for the best.” Never had I spoken more hollow words in the moment. The best for him, sure. For me? No.
Maelstrom nodded a bit, her steel blue eyes flicking over me and landing on my broken wing. “That is a good point. No enemy ever got one up on him.”
My wing tucked tightly against me. “Yes. As I said, for the best.”
“What about you, sir?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“You’ve been pretty badly injured. You’ve lost family. That is a lot for a pony to bear. How do you plan to do it?”
Inspiration was what she was after? Just keep it together a while longer, Silent. We can see the goal line. “My wife. I plan to do what I have to do so I get to see my wife again. That’s all that matters anymore.”
Her head tilted. “What about the kingdom? What about our allies?”
“Land and pride isn’t worth this much blood. I’ll follow orders, though. I’ll kill Sudramoar soldiers. I’ll do whatever it takes to go home to my wife. That is how I plan to get through it. I do it for her… to keep my promise to her.”
“She must be really special.”
“She is. She’s the only pony that really accepts me for all of my many faults. The love of my life, the light in my sky, and the ruler of my household.”
Gray Maelstrom softly laughed at that last part. “Well, there is a reason it is called MARE-iag—” She snapped her mouth shut.
Then it all hit me, the cadence, the build… but most important of all, the only thing that was identical: the eyes. “What did you just say?”
Maelstrom lightly cleared her throat. “Nothing, sir. Just a stupid joke. Inappropriate.”
It wasn’t a joke. She’d slipped up. My vision got a bit hazy. I was crying… a little. I threw my hooves around her neck and held onto her.
The mare stiffened in surprise but only for a moment. Then she slipped a forehoof around me and held tightly. “I know…” she whispered.
“They’re all gone.”
“I know…”
“How?”
“This is the real me… what I actually look like. Before my life became a painting in Canterlot, I lived somewhere very different and dangerous. The Crystal Empire may have been gone but not everypony in the North went with it.
“To keep the explanation short, I was hurt badly and the unicorn magic available was not helpful. By some luck, I was put on a ship and sent to Nordanver for traditional medicine and I got better. They shipped me back to Equestria. Southern Equestria. After that, I just… never went home.”
She’d been to Nordanver before? And for medicine? “A frost pony?”
Her head shook. “Not exactly. Cousins… maybe. Anyway, you know better than most ponies how the populace of Canterlot is. You can imagine what their reaction to me would be if I went out into the daylight looking like this. They don’t understand war and wounds even now, let alone having to look at and be reminded of them.
“So, with a little help from a wizard, a glamour was developed that wouldn’t frighten regular ponies. She wove the spell into a perfect crystal and linked it to me. All I had to do was be near it.”
I finally let her go and wiped my face. “I’m sorry to say this… but I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t be alone here. It’s twisting me into this false mythical figure. This horrible pony who kills without remorse, crushes Equestria’s enemies, and should be feared. I don’t want to be feared, though! I want to be me. I want to go home!”
The gray mare softly bumped her head to mine and stroked my mane. “Me, too… and we will. We will go home. For now, though, we have to be Dread Knight and Gray Maelstrom, okay?
“What we are here is what we must be to survive. And when this is over, we're going to have to ask ourselves a hard question and take time to answer it: Are we going to be this when we go home, or are we going to be what we see when we look in our loved ones' eyes?"
“I’m not sure anymore.”
She nodded and patted me with a hoof. “That’s okay. Either way, I’m here for you and we’ll figure it out. We have to get you back to your Crystal Wishes. For now, you need to mourn and get right. I’m sure you’ll have a patrol to lead tomorrow and you can’t fight if you’re not collected.”
There was no truer statement. Letting your mind wander and being a bubbling pot of emotions was an easy way to make foolish mistakes that got soldiers killed. “Okay. Thank you, Painted.”
She shook her head. “Maelstrom while we’re here. Painted is back home with her husband, okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Okay,” she replied before slipping out of the tent.
It was a moment of weakness on my part but I felt a little glimmer of hope. My cot was calling me. Tonight, I’d sleep; tomorrow, the war would be waiting for Dread Knight. That was tomorrow, though.
Today, Silent Knight could miss his grandfather and think about his wife back home. That was okay… that was allowed.
☾
Our camp was in the process of being broken down again. Third brigade was going to be advancing. The enemy was putting up minimal resistance in the form of hit-and-run tactics and traps.
General Ironhoof was pulling all forces together for another large assault. Perhaps the final one. It is hard to say how soon we’d be there but we were moving in the right direction.
While I casually watched the enlisted ponies and gryphons breaking down the tents, a large shadow fell over me. A brief glance up found the sun blocked out by the hull of a sleek, feral airship. It was one of the brand new Knight Class models from Jet Ventures.
She was larger than the Honor had been and was built solely for warfare. She and her nine sister ships. After the Harmony, the crowns requested something safer for Equestria’s military. It was a long startup as warships aren’t really Jet Ventures' business but they figured it out in a hurry.
Ten battleships in a year once construction started. It was a record and a monumental achievement for sure. They were also working on a smaller, faster cruiser. The Squire Class. Add in the Errant Class destroyer and it had been a very busy year at Jet Ventures.
I only knew as much as I did because Runic kept sending me letters and pictures. He’d been keeping an eye on the ship yard. His association with my wife and the defense ministry had given him a lot of access.
“Major, would you like us to fly you up to the ship?” Gaea Shield asked, grabbing my attention.
The irritation at that question probably crept into my voice when I replied, “That won’t be necessary, thank you.” It wasn’t his fault. I did want to go up to the ship but I wasn’t authorized anyway. Not that they’d deny a Black Dragoon, let alone Dread Knight.
That was because the stupid thing was my namesake. Well… not me, but the idea of me. Even after this war the TMS Dread Knight would still exist. A ship designed to rain death from the sky and destroy flighted soldiers with her new multi-bolt throwers and net hurlers.
I shook that thought off and trotted out of the ship’s considerable shadow. There was probably something for me to do somewhere that didn’t involve being reminded that I was so good at killing that a ship was named after me to frighten the enemy. The old naming scheme was better, anyway…
The rest of the camp was in a state of controlled chaos. Soldiers were packing, wrapping, and stowing everything into wagons. Every time I got near to help, they all dropped what they were doing and stood at attention. It was clearly counterproductive… and annoying.
Eventually, I ended up all the way across camp where the temple guards were packing up their tents. They, at least, did not care in the least who I was or about my rank. The unicorns just kept about their business.
Exemplar Ferrel appeared from the one remaining tent and trotted over to me. She came to a stop nose to nose and peered at my visor. “Good day.”
“Good day.”
“Are you Silent Knight?”
Seriously, again? I pushed the visor up. “I am.”
“Oh, good. I had a good feeling you’d come over to see me today.”
I snorted. “You foresaw it?”
“Two out of three times, yes.”
“I see. And what do the fates have in store for us today? Cryptic warnings about death? Horrible catastrophes?”
“Lunch, actually. We should have lunch. Have you had lunch? My vision revealed that you wouldn’t have had lunch yet.”
My ear flicked inside my helmet. “I have not, in fact, had lunch.”
“Let’s go have a picnic, then. Away from all of these ponies with destinies.”
“Okay but I don’t have an—“A basket floated out of the tent with several food items in it. “How?”
“You hadn’t had lunch in any of my visions.”
“But… you know what, nevermind. Do you want to get your warhammer and shield?”
The exemplar’s head tilted. “For what?”
“In case we’re ambushed.”
She shook her head. “We won’t be.”
“Can you be sure?”
“No. Do you really think a small unit of Sudramoar soldiers could defeat the two of us?”
I blinked. “Honestly? No? Is that arrogant and foolish?”
The unicorn mare shrugged and started trotting towards the edge of camp. There was a small stream that had been used for irrigation when the area had been full of corn fields. Gryphons, I’d learned, were crazy about corn. Oh, they ate meat, as frightening as that was, but they went bananas for corn.
We found a nice flat rock that stood in the middle of a barren field and settled on top. It was a good place to spot an ambush from… or enjoy lunch. Either or. I drew Stratus Knight’s sword and set it beside me.
Exemplar Ferrel, on the other hoof, was busy levitating out various treats. Strawberries, apples, cucumber sandwiches, broccoli pasta, and some kind of juice.
“Any chance you have zucchini in there?” I asked.
“I am afraid not.”
“That’s alright. This is still a pretty amazing spread. Where did you get all of this? I know it wasn’t at the dining tent.”
“Myree,” she said as she levitated a small plate in front of me with a bit of everything on it.
Myree? What is that? “I’m not familiar with that word.”
“Pony.”
“Exemplar, forgive me, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Myree is not a word, she is a pony. A unicorn priestess that has come over to help in the effort.”
My ears wiggled. “She brought food?” I bit into one of the cucumber sandwiches. It was delicious.
The mare’s blonde mane bobbed as her head shook. “No. Myree has rather unconventional magic. Mostly benign, but wholly utilitarian. For instance, this food was brought into existence via a spell.”
I stopped mid-chew. The cucumber and bread in my mouth was magic food? It tasted lovely, but… magic. It took a bit of effort to swallow. “Come again?”
“Myree can conjure. It is quite a rare talent and strangely somewhat random. For instance, the last time she attempted to conjure bread, we were bombarded by a hail of sweet rolls in the tent.”
I chuckled lightly. “My mom once hit my father in the snout with a sweet roll from over seven meters away. I’d say it was her weapon of choice in the house.”
Exemplar Ferrel lightly stroked her chin. “Perhaps they are related.”
That was unlikely. Wait, back to the food. “Is this safe to eat?”
“I’ve been eating it for quite some time without ill effect. It saves on resources… well… in some fashions. Conjuring takes a lot out of Myree but it is her way of helping. She cannot construct shields very well.”
“That would be odd for a temple guard, correct?”
“Yes, but she is no guard. She is a priestess. One of those that we guard. I suppose you’ve never met one, have you?”
I shook my head. “No, I was always looking for you.”
“Peace, you mean.”
“Probably that, too.”
She nodded. “You found some, lost some, found some more, lost more, and such. You’ll sort it out eventually.”
“Is that a vision?”
She shook her head and nibbled on her sandwich. After finishing, she went on, “I’m just older and have seen a lot. Ponies that stand up after being knocked down will always stand up again. You always stand up.”
“That is the Knight family way, I guess.”
“Indeed. So, are you excited to go home soon?”
“Do you mean after the war?”
“No?”
No? Why is nothing ever easy with this pony? This was supposed to just be lunch! “Then yes, I am excited to be going home soon even though I didn’t know I was. When am I going home?”
She shrugged.
“Do you know how frustrating you are?”
“No, but I am often told that. I’ve decided it is a compliment. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now please, can we eat and not talk about anything that might happen in the future unless you’re legitimately just speculating?”
“Agreed. Are you excited to have foals?”
“What did we just agree to!”
“You said if I was speculating. You’re married, you’re young, your wife is very sweet. Surely, you two will have foals. Are you excited about foals?”
That was a relief. Most ponies seemed to ask young married ponies about foals. “I mean… yeah. I like the idea of them. I hope they all turn out like Crystal, though. She’s going to want some. Though at my age, I just prefer to practice.”
The exemplar’s ear twitched and she asked, “What does that mean?”
“You know… practice? For foals?”
“How does one practice for foals? Do you work with them in some kind of program?”
Oh, sweet Luna. My face felt hot and I idly rubbed my forehoof. “No… not… Ferrel. Practice. Like… the thing you do to get foals. If you do it without the intent of having foals, you’re practicing.”
“Silent Knight, I don’t understand what yo—oh.” She actually blushed. “Oh my.”
Then we sat in awkward silence eating our lunch. Stupid, honest mouth, this is when you show back up?