I calmly waited for these military wannabes to finish their pointless procedure. I got bored, and got up from the chair. The purple and green earth pony's name is Miad. I heard Sike say it as he asked Miad to guard the south perimeter. It’s pronounced, ‘my-ad’. I went to check in on them, since my current job is alert the others when there's a problem. I walked through the door, and stood in a guest room. Sike and Miad had makeshift binoculars. They leaned on the railings on the balcony.
"Round check complete. No threats detected," Miad said. I rolled my eyes at this ridiculous military jargon. You have no idea how much I wanted to slap all of them. Wanna know why? Okay, let's just see. The military uses jargon because they don't want their enemies to understand what they're doing. And their enemies were usually men of the same race, with the goal of survival. And they were usually armed with dangerous weapons, like nukes and guns. But, we're not fighting dangerous enemies. We're fighting ponies. That don't have hands. That are armed with vaginas. That want sex.
Thinking back on it, I did run for my life from that mare-cloud from before. Maybe getting raped to death is worse than anything ever thought of back on Earth. I should become a military general and give orders to rape people to death.
Back in Queen Chrysalis’ cave.
“This new love thing is so good! I can’t stop eating it!”
Back to the survivors.
"Alert alert! Derpy has broken through the east barricades!" One of the stallions yelled as Derpy accidentally knocked down the wall.
"Hurry, somepony get him!" Sike yelled throughout the house. Miad, who was the secondary lookout for the east wall at the time, said,
"It's too late, his virginity is toast by now. I'm sealing off this room." Miad pulled down a string, and large rocks fell down, blocking the way into the house. I facehoofed, and said,
"Was that really necessary? And when did you have the time to get all those boulders up there?"
"Long story short," Sike told me, "yes, and we've been preparing for weeks."
"So," I continued, "you're telling me that you've spent weeks of your life trying NOT to get laid?"
"You know what happens when they get you? You just saw charlie get wiped out. You gotta remember that when there's dozens of lust-filled mares, they will suck you dry! First, you will pass out from exhaustion. After that, you LOSE YOUR DICK! IT GETS TURNED INTO PASTE!" What a load of crap. You can't turn someone into paste with a vagina. That's not even possible! I want to slap him silly. Where is he getting this scientific bullshit? Is mating season like a horror story told to little colts?
Let's see where we stand. We're one stallion down, good on food and water- *CRASH* And there probably goes one of those three I named. I made my way back into the house, getting closer to where I heard the crash. I entered the room where our food was held, and a large rock had smashed the box of twinkies. White cream was splattered all over the room. Sike came running into the room.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE TWINKIES!” He yelled as she held crushed twinkies in his hoof. He started crying and held the dead sponge cake to his face. “Why do the good ones have to die young!”
“He- I mean it, was never even alive!” I told him. He then rolled around on the floor, crying his eyes out. I facehoofed. He then got up off the floor, wiped the cream off him, and narrowed his eyes. He put on a fierce look, and said,
“This. Is. The. Last. Straw. THOSE MARES ARE GOING DOWN! NO ONE TOUCHES MY TWINKIES!” Are these guys for real!? Sike then went charging out of the room. I chased after him, ready to tackle him. I used my magic, and put a wood two by four in front of his hooves. He tripped, and I tackled him. I grabbed his neck and started shaking him.
“Snap out of it! They’re just food!” I yelled at him. He calmed down, and returned to his leader-like state.
“You’re right,” Sike said, “my life isn’t worth it. We need to move out, our food source is gone.”
“Wait... are you saying that all you had for food is TWINKIES!? We can’t live more than a day off those! They’re just cream and sponge cake!”
“Yes, I know, but damn are they tasty.” I facehoofed again. I think my face is starting to hurt from all this facehoofing. This is just pure ridiculous. How did these stallions last five minutes in mating season? I would just love to leave this place, but going out in a blaze of cartoony pony vaginas doesn’t sound like my ideal way of dying. I need to take charge, we aren’t going to last much longer with this stallion as a leader.
“Okay, we need a change of plans. Since you’re still recovering from emotional breakdown, I will take over for you,” I said.
“Actually, I’m good now. I think I can retur-”*Whack* I hit him in the back of the head. “Mommy?” He then spun around and fell to the floor. A halo of stars danced around his head and his tongue was sticking out. That solves that problem. I called throughout the house for an emergancy meeting. We all piled into the meeting room from before. All the stallions that were left standing were there. The yellow unicorn asked,
“Where’s Sike?” I said,
“He got taken by a surprise ambush. Don’t worry, I sealed the entryway they got in from. And Sike told me I’m the new leader.” Miad jumped up from his seat and yelled,
“What?! There’s no way he told you to be the leader! I’m the second in command!”
“Too bad. Either you obey my orders, or else I’ll throw you outside to fight against the other mares.” I knew he would try and object. I said that to him to instill fear into the other survivors, so they would listen. Miad sat back down, his hooves crossed. Anger showed on his face.
"I found a good place for hiding. Start moving supplies to the location," I said to the others as we looked over a map of Ponyville. My hoof circled around a hotel right outside the city. I made a change of strategy. Their old plan was to have the strongest defense possible. It was clear that plan wouldn't work. Stealth would work better. I've been watching the mares' walking paths. They didn't go near the hotel. The path will be clear in about five minutes. We can't get caught. I've already accounted for food and water, plus anything else we might need. And, if push comes to shove, we can always microwave a hamster. The hamster is the hotel's mascot, most likey still locked up in a cage.
Five minutes later and one bad mare joke later.
"And... go!" I quietly commanded the survivors. We dashed and zig-zagged down a row of houses. There was a break in the mare chain, and we took it. The coast was clear. Then I turned a corner, and Colgate jumped out, tackling me to the ground. She started rubbing against me. I squirmed under her, desperate to escape. She moaned lightly. I noticed that I was gathering dirt on my coat, that meant that I was on a dirt road. I used my hoof and swiped dirt in her face. She stumbled backwards, and I used the moment to escape. I made a mad dash for my life to catch up with the others. We quickly reached the hotel, and slammed the door shut. Then we boarded the windows and doors shut with various tables and chairs.
"Man, you guys are wusses," said a familiar boyish voice. I whipped my head toward the source of the sound. Rainbow Dash was floating in the air, looking completely normal. I was terrified of anything with a vagina at this point, and I hid behind a nearby chair. The other survivors followed suit. Rainbow Dash's head popped out from the side of the chair I was hiding behind. "What'cha hiding from?" I screamed like a little girl, and ran away with my arms flailing around. "Oh, scared of mating mares I see. Well, don't worry, you're all too weak and wimpy for me to want to rape you." I poked my head out from the table I hid behind. Rainbow Dash casually sat in the chair. I think she might be too lazy to rape anypony. Now to just pass the time. We can probably hold out for the rest of the week, given the current resources we have. Unless we're found out, but I've planned for that. There are a minimum of five escape routes from the main lobby, should anything happen.
"Got any... sea serpents?" I asked Rainbow Dash. We were playing a game of go fish.
"Go fish," Rainbow said.
I laid on a table on my back, my head hanging off of it. "Ugh, how long has it been?" I asked whoever was closest. The yellow pegasus said,
"About eight minutes." I sighed deeply.
I stared at the red wall. My right eye twitched at the boredom. It's been... about three days. I've done nothing but stare at walls all day long. I've been so bored. Only four more days until most of them will be normal again. Some of the mares should already be returning to normal state, albeit it will only be a small minority at this point in time. I think Rainbow Dash left us, calling us, 'You guys are bore-ing. I'm leaving.'
I've been looking outside every few hours. The mares' paths are changing. They're splitting up more, getting closer to us. Although current algorithms predict that they won't find us. But, I can't account for random variables and events. So it's still possible.