“So you’re okay with me being Diane? Really,” Swing Shift scrunched her face in confusion, “I… actually feel pretty silly, now.”
“You drugged and kidnapped me, missy. Forgiven, but NOT forgotten,” Surprise snorted grumpily at the shark-toothed changeling filly.
“We all took new names,” Train Wreck chuckled, “I actually figured you were gonna take Diane a while back. We’d talked about it, back when I was memorizing all the stuff we had large or small enough for you to copy.”
“Oh,” the little queen cocked her head to one side, “But I thought… You and Surprise…”
“We have a rule,” the giant monster turned his head away, “I don’t call her ‘Diane’ and she doesn’t call me ‘Charlie’. Because we’re not each other’s ghosts. But you can be Diane, if you want to be. We all get one name change with the Family Certificate.”
“We also have to define our relationships,” Surprise scrutinized the form carefully, “Ooo, and we have the option to pick a family name! Can we have a family name?”
“I vote Shift!” Swing shift inserted predictably.
“Z-978 will NOT be a Shift, she has told her sister that many time,” the irate changeling glared at her little sister, “Z votes that we should be ‘Team Mongoose’!”
“How about Zephelburg?” Train Wreck suggested at random.
“When I was in the human world I learned that the word for ‘pie’ or ‘cake’ in one language, was the same word for ‘brightly colored’ in another,” Surprise smiled thoughtfully, “How about Pastel?”
“You mean I get to be Diane Pastel? For real?” Diane danced excitedly, her old name all but forgotten.
“I think we’re outvoted, Z,” Train Wreck chuckled.
“Z-978 Pastel is alright with this,” the chitinous mare smiled.
“Alrighty then,” Surprise filled out the name in the space provided with the pencil held firmly in her agile mouth, “ Now, Diane will officially be registered as our daughter, but there’s space on the paperwork to further define our specific relationships. Obviously Z and Diane are sisters. Are you okay if I put you down as my little sister? Me and Marble always were the ‘little sisters’, and I’ve always wanted to be the ‘big sister’.”
Diane shuffle in place uncomfortably, causing Surprise to cock her head in concern, “What’s wrong honey?”
“All the changelings at the hive call Princess Fast ‘Mom’,” the little changeling admitted, “I already have a sister, but my only mother is a stupid evil queen who doesn’t know I exist. I was hoping… it’s okay, you’ll be a great sister…”
The green mare scooped the toothy, spikey little filly into a massive hug, “I would be, but I’m gonna be too way too super busy being a great mom. Which brings us to Train Wreck. Father?”
“Changelings do not have fathers,” Z-978 pointed out sagely, drawing a nod from Diane, “It is a thing that would not make any sense.”
“Well, I’m really kinda old to be a ‘Big Brother’, my youngest brother back home is old enough to be Diane’s father… if changelings had those,” Train Wreck interjected, “How about Uncle? I had nieces and Nephews back home, and I’m pretty good at being an Uncle.”
“Yay! Uncle Train Wreck!” the little changeling flew up and perched on the back of the giant monster, steering him by the ears with her hooves.
“So that covers Diane. Z, we’ve got a box for Second Wife, Co-wife, and Sister that all look appropriate. You know, I think they’ve updated these forms specifically for Silver’s herd,” Diane said thoughtfully, “So what are we?”
“Surprise is Z-978’s sister and her friend, are there boxes for those two things? Can Surprise check two boxes?” Z inquired, inquisitively.
“There are, and she she can. Check and Check,” Surprise nodded, “What about you and Train Wreck? Wife?”
“Z-978 loves Train Wreck. She trusts Train Wreck. Z-978 does not have the kinds of feelings that would make her a wife. These are feelings that Z-978 does not have. Z does not lay eggs, and she does not need to go through those motions so Train Wreck will feed her. Is Train Wreck too old to be Z-978’s big brother?”
“I always wanted a little sister,” the beast’s eyes misted with liquid feels.
“Which brings us to the obvious, husband, check, wife, check, and… Oh! There’s an “other” option under ‘Official Title’, so no boring old Mister and Missus, for us,” Surprise’s eyes glittered with mischief, “So I will officially, in the eyes of the law be ‘The Unspeakable Pinkie Pie, Surprise Pastel’! No argument, no debate. This world’s Pinkie Pie can just settle for plain old vanilla Pinkie Pie!”
The declaration was met with the approving laughter of her family, when Train Wreck threw in his two bits, “In that case I will henceforth be, ‘The Cracktacular Cannibal Head Train Wreck Pastel!”
They all laughed and nuzzled as Surprise filled in the last of the paperwork before speaking, “So, Canterlot Wedding?”
“I was thinking Crystal Empire,” Train Wreck Suggested, “They’re having a Royal Chrystalling coming up. I figure it’s a free all you can eat buffet for Z and Diane, and we can take our vows afterwards. Fun, relaxing family outing. What could go wrong?”