As Deadpool ran out to the forest, sleeping on the way, he slammed into something huge, wet, sticky, and... slimy.
Eww!!! What'd we hit!?
I don't know... Wake up!
Deadpool snorted awake.
"Who's there!?" He demanded "I'mma slice the s**t outta you!" All that was heard was some gurgling. "AHH!!! Dragon guts!!!" Deadpool sliced at what was ahead of him, though only squishing was heard. His vision came, and in front of him was a green blob that... smiled?
OH GOD!!! WE FOUND HONEY BOO BOO!!!
That's not Honey Boo Boo! Nor her mom! It's the smooze.
"Smooze!?" Deadpool asked. He looked at his torso, seeing it covered in green slime. "Aw S**T!!! Where's the Oxi-clean!?... Oh, right... you can't talk." The Smooze 'tilted' it's head in curiosity. "Alright, well... I don't think you're listening to me, but, hi, I'm Deadpool, Merc with the mouth, regenerating degenerate, yadda yadda." It continued smiling. "... Uh... so... I guess I'm sorry for cutting you... though... you don't seem to mind." More smiling from the Smooze. "Jeez, I wonder if you're even paying attention to me."
Ooh! I know what we can do!
...What?
"Yo mama's so FAT; When she jumped in a pool, NASA found water on mars!" More smiling. "...Well, that's not gonna work. Um... wait... do you dance?" More smiling. "... I'll take that as a yes. Oh, and to all the readers, please, support the official makers of this new, kickass song. Teamheadkick, thanks for the second rap... and no, not the movie version, but a literal second!" He pulled out a boombox and pressed the play button. Deadpool Rap 2 played. For once, The Smooze danced, albeit, looking more like it was bouncing and, if possible, shook what would be it's butt
Go Go Go Go
Deadpool
Go Go Go Go Go Go Go
Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth.
Deadpool did his dancing moves that were just as smooth as the beat, but, he reenacted his various lyrics
♫2Guns, and 12 rounds.
Click, Click, boom,
Everyone falls down.
2Guns, and 12 rounds.
Click, Click, boom,
Everyone falls down.♫
♫I'm the Merc with a Mouth, They call me Deadpool.
Taking Everybody out, I'm from the old school.
Do my own damn thing; I don't follow the rules
I regenerate all of my molecules
A little crass, rude, and cynical,
knuckle up punks, let's get physical.
Always itchy on the trigga fingah so I got a bullet
poppin' headshots 'till I'm runnin' outta bullets.
Walk the walk, and talk the talk,
grab the guns and swords, and I'm ready to rock.
With my head held high, middle fingers up,
The only thing I give is Zero f**ks!♫
♫Go Go Go Go
Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth
Go Go Go Go Go Go Go
Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth.♫
♫Taco tuesday is our jam,
I'm loading up tacos, yes I am!
Hack and slash with both Katanas,
Face bashin' Chimichangas!!!♫
♫2Guns, and 12 rounds.
Click, Click, boom,
Everyone falls down.
2Guns, and 12 rounds.
Click, Click, boom,
Everyone falls down.♫
♫I'm the man with the plan; Initials D.P.
With the red suit on, they can't see me bleed!
UNSTOPPABLE!!! There's no way to kill me!
Cut me down and I'm coming back guaranteed!
Big old guns, I'm bringing the boom!
#Driveby, then I'm leaving the room.
What they did to my grill is criminal,
FRANCIS
This face isn't fixable!
Trying to mutate was straight up miserable,
I don't give a f**k now though, I'm Invincible!!!
Tallin' jokes for day, I come correct
You best get out my way or you're gonna get wrecked!
Swinging like a heavyweight and dropping everybody,
Even though I'm indestructible, I'm still getting bloody!
When it comes to kickin' ass, ain't no one above me.
I'm a sexy mutha f**ka, and all the ladies love me.♫
♫Let's get ridiculous
Dead
Get up, get out your seat.
Pool
You've got me feeling this and I know you're feeling me.
Let's get ridiculous
Dead
Get up, get out your seat.
Pool
You've got me feeling this and I know you're feeling me.♫
♫Now stop the beat and make the booty drop!
Just call me DJ-Hack-a-Lot
Now drop the bass like a maniac!
Just killin' everybody like a heart attack♫
♫2Guns, and 12 rounds.
Click, Click, boom,
Everyone falls down.
2Guns, and 12 rounds.
Click, Click, boom,
Everyone falls down.♫
♫Mess with the ladies, you gonna get whooped on!
Put em up, put em up, come get some!
Illest Merc, there is no doubt
Now step up chump, get knocked the f**k out!
Immortal and untouchable,
Psychopathic and dysfunctional.
Maximum effort, I never stop
Straight kick you in the nuts while I'm wearing crocs!♫
♫We got a bleeder!
Ha! Better bring a mop!
Like a fish out water, I'll just watch you flop!
I drop 'em all, round after round,
Now hang on a minute while I'm breaking it down.
With unicorn porn, you know I'm tugging it,
knocking my head to the beat and bumping it,
Booty in my face; OK, I'm Huggin' it
Twerking that ass so fast and loving it!♫
♫Go Go Go Go
Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth
Go Go Go Go
Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth.
Go Go Go Go
Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth
Go Go Go Go
Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth.♫
When the music dwindled away, the Smooze gave Deadpool a slobbering kiss across his face.
YECH!!!
At least we have our mask on.
"...Ah... the return of the 'Why Boner'... WITH A VENGANCE!!!" He took a selfie with the Smooze- "Damn whiners" and ran away to another one of his random adventures.
