Living in Equestria

by Blazewing


Back to Work at Bon Bon's

I wondered how long Ironmane’s vacation would last, and if it would affect our usual Sunday meeting. It seemed that it did, because around his usual time, I answered the door to find a royal guard standing there instead of him. I wondered if this was the same one that had been part of the carriage team to the Lounge. These guards seem to have been made in the same mold, so it was difficult to tell them apart. However, I had the sense not to say that sort of thing out loud, in case it might sound offensive.

“Councilstallion David?”

“Yes?”

“I am here to deliver your weekly dues, as per Minister Ironmane’s instructions, due to him currently being away.”

He handed me my bag of dues without the slightest change of expression.

“Thank you,” I said, simply.

“Have a good day, then, sir.”

“Er, you too.”

With stiff rigidity, the guard pulled an about-face, marched a few paces off, then took flight. I watched him disappear, somewhat bemused by this change from Ironmane’s usual visits. Ironmane himself wasn’t exactly the epitome of liveliness, but I had definitely noticed a more civil change in his demeanor as of late. These guards, on the other hand, could give Tussaud waxworks a run for their money where emotion was concerned. However, it wasn’t my business, so I let it pass and went back inside. Tomorrow was the first day of my week’s work at Bon Bon’s for Hearts and Hooves Day, and I wanted to be sure I had everything ready in preparation.

Mid-afternoon, I decided to take a walk over to Sugarcube Corner, not to order anything, but just to pop in and say hi. As usual, the smells of a dozen (or more) baked goods hit my nose as I stepped in, but something else hit my eyes. Paper hearts were dangling from the ceiling on strings, and even more were plastered to the wall. Pinkie and Moonlight were both behind the counter, bent over something the latter was showing the former. It looked like a small pile of papers. Was she showing Pinkie her story-in-progress?

Both looked up as I entered, and Moonlight swept the papers behind the counter, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of magenta.

“Hi, Davie!” said Pinkie.

“Hi, Dave!” said Moonlight.

“Hello, girls,” I said, deciding not to bring up what I’d just seen. “Decked the place out for Hearts and Hooves Day, I see.”

“Y-Yes!” spluttered Moonlight, clearly glad I wasn’t asking about what she’d been showing Pinkie. “That’s right.”

“Moonlight and I did it together!” said Pinkie, squeezing the slim pegasus against her pudgy side in a one-legged hug.

“Well, I started putting them up by hoof,” said Moonlight, modestly, “and then Pinkie decided to put the rest up with her party cannon.”

“I had to,” said Pinkie. “It’s been working better than ever since Doc fixed it up. Besides, it was still both of us doing it together, and that counts as a team effort!”

“She’s got you there, Moonlight,” I said, grinning, and Moonlight giggled. “Well, looks like both Bon Bon’s and Sugarcube Corner are gonna be busy this week.”

“You bet!” said Pinkie. “You helping out Bon Bon again?”

“Yep,” I said. “I mean, not that I wouldn’t want to help you guys out here.”

“Oh, we’ll be fine,” said Pinkie, breezily. “Right, Moonlight?”

“Mm-hmm!” said Moonlight, smiling. “The Hearth’s Warming crowds got really big, but we managed just fine.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” I said. “I can practically see this place swarming with couples and lovers already.”

“That’s cuz you’re cheating with your psychic powers, you big goof,” said Pinkie, teasingly.

Moonlight looked bewilderedly at me.

“Psychic powers?” she asked.

“Don’t ask,” I muttered.

“But now that you mention it,” said Pinkie, “I think I can picture it too: mares and stallions sitting across from each other, gazing all lovey-dovey into each other’s eyes, sharing milkshakes and cookies and cakes, swapping Hearts and Hooves cards…Which reminds me,” she added, in a more business-like tone, “I hope you got yours ready, Davie.”

I blinked.

“Got what ready?” I asked.

“Your Hearts and Hooves cards, silly,” said Pinkie. “They’ve been selling like crazy over the last week or two, and the post office is probably snowed over with them again. Poor Derpy tells me all the time it’s one of their most hectic holidays, next to Hearth’s Warming.”

A slightly panicky feeling shot through me at this. Was I supposed to send out cards this year? Now that Pinkie brought them up, it seemed only right, as it would be in the spirit of the holiday. Not doing it would make me look neglectful of my friends. It wouldn’t have to be romantic, of course; just a gesture of platonic affection.

“So, er, you think there might be still some to buy?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

“If you’re lucky,” said Pinkie. “I’d hustle your bustle over to Barnyard Bargains if I were you, Davie.”

“Er, right, I’ll do just that,” I said. “I’ll see you girls later, ok?”

“Ok!” said Pinkie, brightly. “Bye, Davie!”

“Bye!” said Moonlight.

I tried to turn my exit from the bakery into a casual stroll, trying not to betray too much anxiety or worry. As soon as I judged myself far enough away, however, I broke into a run in the direction of Barnyard Bargains.

***

Unfortunately, when I arrived, the display for Hearts and Hooves cards was completely empty. A store clerk came up to me while I was staring hopelessly at it.

“Something I can help you with, sir?” he asked.

“Er, yeah,” I said. “You wouldn’t happen to still have some Hearts and Hooves cards, would you?”

The clerk stared at me for a second or two, then he suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. I felt my face grow hot with indignation, but it didn’t end there. He gestured for another clerk to come over, which he did, looking politely puzzled.

“Something the matter?” he asked.

“Th-This gentlecolt-” said the first clerk, wheezing with mirth, “-j-just asked if we-if we still had Hear-Hearts and Hooves cards!”

Now the other clerk looked astonished, and now he too started laughing. I was really starting to get ticked off now, but before I could make my objections, both of them gradually calmed down, still chuckling. Then, clearing his throat, the first one said, civilly,

“Terribly sorry, sir, but I’m afraid you should have bought them earlier. They fly off the shelves this time of year, you know. I doubt there’s even a stationer’s shop in Ponyville that has them in stock right now.”

“Oh,” I said. “Right. Well, thanks, anyway.”

“And thank you, sir,” said the second clerk. “It’s been a pretty dull day, truth be told.”

“Glad I could make it brighter,” I said, flatly.

I left the store, and in spite of what the clerk said, I trudged to the local stationary shop in the hopes of finding something there. I was unfortunately, albeit politely, rebuffed on this front, too.

“Should have bought them ahead of time, sir,” said the shop owner. “Sorry.”

Refusing to give up, I walked all around Ponyville, trying to find somewhere that might sell what I was looking for. However, after what felt like hours of searching, inquiring, and receiving negative answers, I went home in defeat, night having already fallen. This felt almost as bad as when I failed to find Moonlight a Hearth’s Warming gift in Canterlot.

When I got home, disappointed that I’d been unable to accomplish something that had felt so simple, I was all for just collapsing onto my bed and dropping off, hoping to try again tomorrow, if that was even possible. As I was shuffling off to my bedroom, however, I noticed, lying by the hall closet, a scrap of paper.

Wondering how I’d forgotten to throw it out, I picked it up, and an idea came to me, gradually, yet vividly. How had I not seen it before? I had scrap paper and a lot of other material left over from making the sign for the Lounge! I could use that for cards instead! I could have slapped myself in the forehead for not realizing it sooner!  

I therefore spent the rest of the evening folding up paper into passable blank paper cards, and addressing them to my closest friends, those ponies I was on best terms with. This made quite a stack, however, and I only hoped Derpy wouldn’t mind such a big load being sent out at once.

Sunday, February 10

***

The next morning, I beat the familiar path to Bon Bon’s Bonbons, even though it had been a while since I’d actually been to the store itself. However, Winter Wrap Up wasn’t too far away, and I hoped I’d be able to fix this lapse in visitation afterwards.

It seemed my temporary boss and co-worker were already there, as the door was open when I tried it. Sure enough, both were at work feverishly setting up displays of treats. The shop itself was decorated for the occasion, with red, white, and pink streamers and lace-bordered paper hearts plastering the ceiling and walls. It almost looked like Bon Bon had gotten decorating tips from Pinkie.

“Dave! Good morning!” said Bon Bon, looking up and beaming.

“Morning, big guy!” said Lyra, genially.

“Morning, ladies,” I said. “Nice decorations.”

“Aren’t they?” asked Lyra, brightly. “Bonnie and I worked hard to get this put together.”

“If by that, you mean I put everything up while you just sat around, handing it to me with your magic,” said Bon Bon, tersely.

“Still a team effort,” said Lyra, waving her hoof dismissively. “Come have a look at our Hearts and Hooves treats, Dave!”

I stepped over for a closer look. I could see chocolate bars, taffy, marshmallow treats, chocolate-covered cherries and strawberries, and more. Most, if not all of them, were different shades of pink or red, and had different ways of incorporating a heart motif into each.

“Festive,” I said, in an approving tone.

“Thank you,” said Bon Bon. “I’ve been working hard on these for the last two weeks, hence our absence. I’m sorry about that, but this had to be perfect.”

“Oh, no, no,” I said, “I completely understand. Although, if it’s not too rude to ask, what needed two weeks to perfect?”

“Glad you asked,” said Bon Bon, smirking. “It was my goal to make these treats delicious, but also healthier to eat, and now, I’ve achieved it. Dave, allow me to officially introduce you to my brand new ‘Hearts and Hooves Heart-Smart Sweets’: guilt-free eating for your body and soul.”

“Wow,” I said, impressed.

“Here, try one,” said Lyra, levitating a square piece of candy to my face. “Don’t worry,” she added, seeing the slight hesitation on my face, “it’s not gonna make you bloat up. Didn’t for me, and I taste-tested about twenty batches.”

I took the candy in my hand. It looked like a piece of taffy, striped red and pink. I sniffed it, then popped it into my mouth. It was nice and chewy, and tasted like a mix between apples and strawberries.

“Mmm! That’s good stuff,” I said, swallowing.

“And that’s just the taffy,” said Lyra, grinning. “You ought to see Bonnie at work, Dave. This girl does things with chocolate you’d never think possible.”

“Lyra, please,” said Bon Bon, blushing modestly. “We shouldn’t be dawdling like this. We’ve got a shop to run.”

“Right you are,” said Lyra, briskly. “Here, Dave, you’ll need this.”

And she magically tossed me a folded bundle of clothing. Unfurling it, I found it to be my old work apron. My spirits dropped slightly. I’d almost forgotten about having to wear this thing.

“Kept it in good condition for when you came back, buddy,” said Lyra. “I know how much you loved wearing that.”

“I’m touched,” I said, dryly, which only seemed to increase Lyra’s humor.

Monday, February 11

***

Despite my misgivings on having to wear an apron in public again, the day went well. In fact, so did the following two. The store became busy tending to ponies who were looking for something perfect for their sweethearts. There were giggly, blushing mares, awkward stallions, and even shy little foals. These were the most adorable of all: ponies still so young, yet wishing to get something for somepony they cared about.

One of these was Sweetie Belle, who, on Tuesday, bought a chocolate heart for Button Mash, as a gift from a friend, as she claimed.

“Is that right?” I asked, casually.

“Yep!” said Sweetie Belle, quickly, and smiling a little too widely. “Me and Button Mash have always just been friends!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“I never said you weren’t,” I said.

Sweetie Belle’s cheeks went crimson.

“Well, we are,” she insisted. “I like him, but not like like.”

I couldn’t help smirking. However much she wanted to hide it, Sweetie Belle seemed to have been struck with a case of puppy love. Still, her and Button Mash? I knew him from the Junior Derby and that snowball fight at Fort Hooves, but I’d never even imagined the possibility.

“If you say so,” I said. “But I can’t help but wonder what Rarity would think of this: her little sister buying Hearts and Hooves chocolate for a classmate.”

“If you tell her,” Sweetie Belle whispered, angrily, “I’ll...I’ll…”

“Oh, come on,” I said, placatingly, “would I do that to a fellow Crusader?”

Sweetie Belle glared at me for a second or two, then her face softened.

“No,” she said. “I didn’t think you would. You’ll keep it a secret?”

“Pinkie Promise,” I said, solemnly, crossing my heart and covering my eye with one hand, though I could have sworn I also heard a very distant, and familiar, voice say, ‘Forever…’

Sweetie Belle smiled, handed over her bits for the heart, and I passed it along to her in a bag. Instead of taking it in her teeth, she screwed up her face and stared intently at it, her horn beginning to spark. A faint, greenish glow surrounded the handles. I watched, intrigued, as Sweetie Belle, her tongue poking out from concentration, managed to slowly hoist the bag into the air, her aura flickering slightly. She beamed.

“Good job!” I said. “Twilight’s doing?”

“Uh-huh,” she said. “She started teaching Dinky and me after we tried skeet shooting. I can only move little stuff, but Twilight said it’s a good start. If I keep it up, I can move on to bigger objects.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “It might even get you a step closer to your cutie mark.”

“I know!” said Sweetie Belle, sounding delighted. “Well, I’d better get going. Bye, Dave!”

“See ya.”

And Sweetie Belle trotted off, her purchase still grasped in her magic, her smile as bright as the sun.

“You know, only you Pinkie Promised.”

I jumped. I hadn’t noticed Lyra standing beside me, a sly grin on her face.

“What are you implying?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Oh, just that you’re the only one not allowed to tell Sweetie Belle’s secret,” said Lyra. “Whereas I, who made no such promise, am at full liberty to-”

“Don’t you dare,” I said, sharply. “She’ll never forgive me if it gets out!”

“Correction: she’ll never forgive me,” said Lyra, shrewdly. “You, on the other hoof, would be completely innocent, since you never said a word about it.”

“That may be,” I conceded, grudgingly, “but that still shouldn’t mean-”

“Come on, dude, I’m only joking,” said Lyra, poking me in the ribs with her elbow. “I wouldn’t seriously do that to a friend.”

“Oh,” I said, relieved. “Good. I hoped you weren’t like that.”

“Didn’t stop you from telling strangers I used to wear glasses,” called Bon Bon from her office.

“Aw, what does that matter?” asked Lyra.

“It matters because you told them I looked like ‘an absolute dork’.”

“Oh, pfft,” scoffed Lyra. “I meant it in the nicest of ways. Besides, you were a dork.”

(And here they go again. I was starting to miss this, actually.)

Tuesday, February 12