//------------------------------// // 10 Behold the Wizard // Story: Lyra-7% // by Meep the Changeling //------------------------------// Lyra Heartstrings - 12th of Faust 1,312 Classical Era - Late Afternoon Multiverse Location: Equestria, Equis #0???? - The Prime (Distant Past) “Hey, Lyra, you dead?” Sai’s voice crackled faintly. I sat bolt upright, heart hammering in my chest. Not spooked by the sudden speech, but by the fact I was sure I had nodded off. “Ahh! No! Not yet!” I gasped. “Good. Cuz I reeeaaaly don’t want to be stuck here,” Sai grumbled, voice coming in properly now. “Coulda said something sooner, mighta helped motivate me to find a better magic flow or whatever. Recharge faster,” I mumbled, trying to blink the exhaustion out of my system. “Not if I didn’t want to cause a time paradox,” Sai shot back. “Look, wherever we are could be a universe that’s just running slower than the others, or we could be in the right one at the wrong time. Remember how that Sky rigged me? We have a twelve thousand year window here.” I let that process for a moment, but my brain just wasn’t working right now. Kinda felt a bit oxygen starved. “Cheer.ly, run medical diagnostic,” I ordered. “Sorry Sai, but I’m not thinking right now. Be blunt please.” Sai muttered something under his breath. An impressive feat for an AI stuck in a device with no volume control. “Look, we could be in my universe's past right now. If we are, and I say something to a historical figure I might accidentally undo how time is supposed to go. That will for certain butterfly effect, and I could destroy my entire home… I don’t just sit in Sky’s tech, I have my own things I do. I’m invested in my home world slash timeline. “The Boss and I disagree about the consequences of time travel, and I admit, he’s normally right. But I have a pretty sound logical argument for why you might be able to mess up the past via time travel. So just in case we are not in a different-time-interval universe, I’m not saying anything when someone historical is a few meters away!” “Wait, Moonbutt is a historically relevant figure? How?” I asked, that being the only thing I’d taken away from Sai’s spiel. “Bucking hell! Forget I said anything,” Sai cursed. “It’s bad enough you gave her a nickname…” “No, seriously. Explain,” I demanded. “If I do, then YOU might say something and mess up the timeline!” Sai shot back. “... No it won't,” I disagreed. “Listen Lyra, I’m an AI. Maybe where you come from AIs don't have emotions, but I do, and they are rooted in logic. So guess what? I am afraid of messing up for very rational reasons. Therefore, I ain’t saying shit till we are out of here, and even then I’m not going to explain myself!” “If that’s how you feel then why the hell did you even tell me that much?” I asked angrily. “Cuz now you’ve just made me angry and curious!” “You asked me a direct question. I may be programed to be a dick but I’m not rude, and I’m sure as hay not gonna tell you ‘I have a good reason for not doing this’!” Sai grumbled. I rolled my eyes and gave the manipulator a little glare. “Who the fuck programs an AI to be a dick to them anyways?” “People worried that they will turn their talents to evil one day, and want someone to keep them in check by being critical of everything they do to force them to think again before going through with a plan,” Sai deadpanned. “Oh, well shit. That’s an unassailable reason,” I mused. “Yeah, no shit,” Sai replied dryly. “It’s almost like I have good reasons for doing th-” Sai shut the fuck up as all of the light in the tent streaked to the left like an old school movie hyperspace jump effect. The sudden rays of light blacked out everything for a fraction of a second, only for normalcy to snap back in a wave literally like an elastic band wobbling after being stretched out. This horrific break of reality happened so quickly it was over in a blink, and that was the only thing which kept it from being pants ruiningly terrifying. Instead, it was awesome. In the archaic sense of the word. Too bad the irritable mumbling completely ruined the moment. “And of course she doesn't reattune the bloody thing! Non-unicorns, always forgetting magic needs upkeep… Wouldn’t be a problem if we taught basic magical theory to everypony but noooo, that’s a security risk! Instead let’s make me have to bounce around the entire Faust damned- Ooo… ‘kay,” an eccentric older male’s voice rambled. “Uhhh…” I said, mostly as a placeholder for a reaction. The sound of tiny little bells jingling mixed with hoofsteps for a moment before the tent wall to my left was politely tapped. “Hello? Anyone inside the out-of-place-artifact? I’m looking for a fish-mare, or something. That’s not you by chance, is it?” “Uh, I’m not a fish. But if you meant the person Moonbutt went to get help for, that’s me,” I replied as evenly as I could. “Oh, nope. I’m looking for someone who a pony named Luna went to get help for. Sorry about that, I’ll just be on my way. This forest has a lot more clearings left to check,” the voice grumbled. “Good luck to you.” I facepalmed, the slap of rubberized armorweave on titanium rang like a bell through my helmet. “Are you serious?” I demanded. “I use a nickname for her, so you leave me to die?” “No, I’m Starswirl. Sirius is the other guy. But it’s fine, nopony will remember him in a few hundred years,” the stallion snarked. “Right then, how much did Luna’s urgent babbling leave out? Namely, who are you, what’s the problem, and why do I have to help you instead of finishing my sandwich?” “Lyra Heartstrings, interdimensional traveler. Suit breached while in a toxic atmosphere. You’re a wizard, you can make another sandwich,” I summarized. “Wait, you’re a what?” Starswirl asked in that old person ‘I was only half listening, wah?’ voice. “Interdimensional traveler,” I replied. “Faust’s blood, mare! Open with that next time,” the wizard complained. “Not you, I mean Luna. I swear she’s incapable of mentioning the important bits…” “Actually, I never told her that… Also seriously, I’m dying sooo…you know, don’t have all the time in the world,” I prompted, trying not to maintain my composure. “Yes you do, I stopped it,” Starswirl rebutted. “Tell me more please, where are you from? What’s it like? In particular what-” “Wait,” I asked incredulously, “you stopped what!?” “Time. Obviously,” he informed in a ‘duh’ tone. “Please tell me context does not whizz over your head as badly as it does Celestia’s. I swear she can’t grasp context clues unless it’s related to social- Hold on, before we bunny trail for an hour, what exactly is toxic here for you? I’m not going to expend the time and energy if this is going to be futile.” “Y-you seriously just stopped time… Like, all of it? Everywhere?” I said awestruck, pleading for an answer. How the shit balls do you just stop all of atomic motion within- No like, seriously- Wut!? “You’re hung up on that… Great…” The wizard groaned, clearly sick of explaining himself. “Look, I could explain it, but you don’t have the years of study in the natural sciences to even begin to-” “How the flying shitballs did you pause the formation of causal links between all objects within space-time!?” I demanded, this time angrily. “Well buck me in the ear! You do!” Starswirl exclaimed surprise. “That’s refreshing, so I’ll tell you the answer. I set the space-time interval for the two of us to zero, and the interval between the two of us and the rest of the universe to a positive integer, effectively freezing the universe in it’s tracks, from our current perspective. Cake really. “Anywho, your home dimension must be horrible if it has flying balls of excrement floating about frequently enough for the mention of them to become a swear.” Wait, did that check out? I think it checked out, from what I knew of quantum physics at least. Which wasn’t much. I really, really wished I still had an uplink to the Direct net to double check me physics there. But on the other hand… There was a more pressing question. “Sooo how does an medieval age civilization have a concept of space-time?” I asked curiously. “They don’t, I do. Cuz I’m the motherbucking legendary wizard of unspeakable power that cracked time travel,” Starswirl grunted. “Now seriously, what’s killing you?” “Radon poisoning,” I began. “Your atmosphere’s full of-” “Mmhmm. That would be due to the Great Basin. Big hole in the world, been pumping out the stuff for hundreds of thousands of years. Has a few million more years of life in it to go,” he rambled, seemingly just to kill time. “Ah ha! Mammalian, simian ancestry… Majorly time displaced… Doubly displaced… Odd that.” “A-are you magically analyzing me?” I asked, thoroughly creeped out by the notion. “Huh? Oh! Sorry. Was that out loud? I didn’t mean to be rude, I see temporal flows. Can’t control it, just do,” he apologized. “I don’t believe you!” I huffed. “Meh, that’s fine. Funny thing about the truth, it’s true no matter what you believe. It’s clear you did not evolve for this world, and well, we’re not exactly hospitable for most creatures. Real shame that, I have some friends that I would love to invite over to visit… “Now I’m not the best at altering creatures, I’m more of what you would call a ‘practical quantum mechanist’, but I think I can solve this little problem of yours,” Starswirl said decisively. “You think, or you know?” I asked wearily. “I know. I see time flows. All of them,” he explained. “I only speak about the future in uncertain terms so as to let the masses have their comfort- Oh bucking hell!” “What? Is something wrong?” I asked. “You… You’re not going to ask me how free will can exist if the future is certain?” He asked, clearly surprised. Oh god this stupid philosophical question! Just because an AI can predict future events within a field to ninety nine percent accuracy, some people go full ‘free will can’t exist!’ Seriously… The sun’s going to come up tomorrow. OH MY GOD! I can know future events with certainty! There can’t be any free will! Uhhhhggg… So. Much. Stupid! Oh shit, that’s what this poor guy must feel over this. “First off,” I chuckled, “I just came from a universe that seemed to want to kill me. Like, the actual universe. Not stuff in it. After that place, I’m completely certain that I have free will even if the future’s known because I can draw a weapon right now and curse, and do anything else I might like to without something actively stopping me. “Second, how does being able to know future events with certainty preclude free will? I could calculate every single thing that would happen if I threw a ball, even chart it’s trajectory exactly. I guess that means free will can’t exist. Heh.” “Oh thank Faust! I’m so sick of explaining this to everypony! You should help me convince king Stubborn-plot the Randomly-biased to start an arcane education program,” he sighed in relief. Feeling curious I asked. “Politics aside, you worked out time travel… Would it be possible for you to help me out?” “I’m already helping you,” Starswirl said with a chuckle. “Or do you mean in traveling? Sorry, I can’t do that.” “Why not!?” I asked incredulously. “You’re a goddamn wizard, right?” “Yes, I am. But I already know that I do not help you return to your home,” he said in that same ‘weary of explaining this’ tone. “While I could run against what happens, that never ends well. Time is a series of flexible moments between fixed points. What happens is dependent on so many different variables and factors all coming together that no one person has any influence over it. It’s just not possible. But, each individual can influence how those events happen, which is where free will comes in. You’re bright, do you understand now?” I felt the need to ask a question, for Sai’s sake. “I didn’t know that… If how an event can happen is up for change, can’t that spark greater change down the line?” “Of course,” he replied instantly. “Enough small changes in the hows of other things will eventually change the whats of future things. But in general, what happens is already written. The who, how, and when, those are up for change. But not the what, not unless the other factors change too. “Example: I can see eight possible ways for me to assist you which result in success. I am free to choose from them, but I am not free to choose to not help you, because I knew I would be doing that as of this morning. The real choice for me is, which way will be the best, and not for me, but for you and Lu- Woah! Uh, kay…” “What was that?” I asked suspiciously. “I never tell anyone their personal futures,” Starswirl said firmly. “If I told somepony they would be the greatest warrior in their nation it’s equally valid for the universe to make them super strong, or have all the rest of their warriors die. So if they slacked off training, knowing the future would happen as it will happen... If I told you your future, you’d do things differently, and that would have consequences for everyone you interact with. Remember, the how is fluid, the what is static. “However, I will say that having seen a few of your possible futures, I must admit, some of them hold… interesting potentials.” I crossed my arms irritably. “Not going to tell me anything at all about my own future, despite claiming to know it… How do I even know you can actually see the future.” “Ugh… Fine.” He grumbled, “You are about to sneeze.” “No I’m-” A massive body shaking sneeze interrupted my speech. “Coincidence!” I protested. “Your right leg is about to wake up from being asleep cause you’re sitting cross legged,” Starswirl sighed. The pins and needles feeling of a sleepy leg rippled over my right leg. Fuck… “Okay… Maybe you can. But if that’s true, how do you even function? Like, you know everything before it happens so-” “I also know what I’m going to do, so it changes nothing in day to day life. It only lets me make a few decisions with better agency and understanding of what will result from my actions,” Starswirl said like a safety officer quoting pool rules. “Alright… So uh, what do we do about me then?” I asked again. “Oh, well… I suppose the best options involve me taking you to my tower. I can cast a simple spell to allow you to move about freely while I work out a permanent solution. Or I could have my wife transmutate you into a pony, you know, if a species change fix is alright with you,” he mentioned. “Uh… I’d rather stay human,” I said apprehensively, but hopefully politely. “I knew you’d say that,” Starswirl chuckled. “Don’t be a smart ass,” I shot back. “Very well, I’ll teleport us to my lab. Wait- wait… Hold on a second, is that another lifeform wrapped around your waist? Is your species symbiotic?” Symbiotic? Oh! Heh. “Nah that’s just my pet anaconda, Bon,” I chuckled. “She- actually she’s been acting a crap ton more intelligent since I first started traveling.” “Well no duh! She’s completely saturated in wild magic. Thought she was an enchanted belt for a while there. Probably some sort of transmutation effect, hard to tell with time frozen… Mind if I study her while you are here? The two of you are an interesting anomaly,” he asked hopefully. “Please! I really want to know what's going on with her… Wait, why did you call me an anomaly?” I asked, frowning behind my faceplate. “Yes, because your causal chain is… Odd. I can trace it back through five different spacial-bubbles, yet it’s really only spent time in three,” Starswirl mused as if working it out for himself as he spoke. “Right and that means, what exactly?” I prompted. “How many universes have you traveled to?” Starswirl asked. “Three. Wait, no! Two technically. Because the first hop just took me into my own world’s far future,” I answered, sure of my answer. “Wrong. It’s four,” Starswirl corrected in that ‘teachery’ tone. “The first universe you were in, the one you originate from, you were in for mere minutes. Likely pre-birth. Then a second one for a few months, then the third, where you have spent most of your time, and then a…a place I can not understand. Then this one. I’m not counting the first one since I said traveled to, not have been in.” “But… what?” I asked, thoroughly confused. “I only got the Vortex Manipulator about a week ago!” “There are many means of moving through space, time, and worlds,” Starswirl said sagely. “Also it’s quite possible to absolutely buck up your own personal timeline… Trust me, personal experience. Look, I am sure that I will have a full answer for you later. Right now, I need to solve the problem of you not being able to breath. Shall we go?” I thought about it for a moment. I knew that if I didn’t go, I’d be stuck in this tent until I could move on to the next world. Which would be a couple days, and my suit’s filter would be full by then… On the other hand, the only available help was an eccentric old mage. That usually didn’t end too well for the hero in all the old tales. But on the other other hand… “If I say no, will you leave me stuck here with no time passing until I die?” I asked. Starswirl laughed. “Actually, time can’t pass for you right now. You’d be stuck like this for an eternity.” “Uhhhhh!” I exclaimed in complete terror. “I won’t do that to you… Faust’s blood, mare! I’m a good guy. You can tell because I don’t rule this rock from atop a topaz throne shaped like a pile of surf boards,” Starswirl exclaimed. “Why surfboards?” I asked, his exclamation having mentally slapped me with a lump of frozen ‘wut’. “I don’t know… That one confused me too…” Starswirl admitted. “Look, I’m going home to finish my sandwich and scold Luna for not taking care of her enchantments properly. You can come with me, or I can start time back up again and leave you here. What will it be?” I sighed. With how life was right now, letting the fear of the unknown guide my actions would probably get me killed. Or worse. Trapped forever without the release of death. “One trip to a mage tower, please,” I said decisively. “Good! I’d hate to pass up an interesting puzzle!” Starswirl exclaimed as the lightspeed effect returned with the sound of falling sand. “Wait!” I cried frantically as a question popped into my head with the utmost urgency. The warped light snapped back again, replacing the chirping of birds and rustle of leaves with the creaking of floorboards and the smell of burning candles. Also a scent I swore was pinesol and lemon pledge, but well, they couldn’t possibly have access to modern cleaners. Or... could they? “Little late there… It wasn’t too important, was it?” Starswirl asked in concern. “I well, no. I just… If you can see the future and use it to make better decisions, how the hell did you get interrupted while eating a sandwich?” I asked. “Oh. I lost track of time, that’s all,” the wizard explained simply. “You…lost track of time? How can you possibly do that?” I asked in awe. “No idea! Isn’t that neat? All this knowledge and still things to study,” he said happily. “Now then, I’ll need to get started.” I heard hoofsteps clicking against wood and the light jingling of bells as the Wizard walked off. “Clover, pumpkin?” He called, voice echowing off the walls. “We have guests! Can you set the table for-” “How many times have I told you to knock off the pumpkin crap?” A female voice shouted from somewhere in the distance. “Thirty eight thousand nine hundred and seventy three times, counting this one,” Starswirl responded. “Celestia, stop reordering those books and grab a quill and parchment. I need you to interview our guest, find everything out about her home dimension that you can so I can make the right sort of spe-” I heard what could only be the sound of a stack of books falling several feet onto a hard floor. “H-home dimension?” A younger female voice squeaked eagerly. “Yes,” Starswirl and I said together. The apprentice’s delighted squee made me so happy my helmet had built in ear protection. Lyra Heartstrings - 12th of Faust 1,312 Classical Era - Late Night Multiverse Location: Equestria, Equis #0???? - The Prime (Distant Past) The last evening gave me a new definition for hell. Trapped in a small space, able to hear the outside world, but unable to leave the space which hid it from you. And that outside world sounded really really really cool! Unfortunately, Starswirl knew he would take until noon the next day to develop a short term spell solution, and three whole days to work out a permanent solution. Which meant I was inside an actual wizard’s lab, able to hear all the cool sounding shit going on, but unable to look out and see anything! It had to be freaking awesome! All of the games and movies had the wizard’s lab filled with like, stuffed creatures from the corners of the earth, eyes in jars, and other awesome trappings of wizardry, with bubbling potions and glowing runes. The real deal had to be so much cooler! But I was stuck here. In a bag. With a snake. Not the ideal situation. Upside, Moonbutt had come in and talked to me for a while. She was very glad that Starswirl got to me in time. Apparently, actually helping her out on one of her hair brained schemes meant a great deal to her. Because it had been a first. I knew how that went. My mom had always been too busy to raise me attentively. I was always off on my own doing stuff, at least till I’d made a friend. I knew what it was like to really only have yourself for companionship. Luna’s gratefulness for a friend had me think about staying in this universe for a while, but I dismissed the notion after some thought. I had to return the VM. I needed to tell everyone about this. I was a mission. I’d forgotten that Moonbutt’s sister, Egghead, was Starswirld apprentice. I knew her name wasn’t Egghead, but since apparently pony names are meant to be descriptors of the individual, I renamed that mare! Six straight freaking hours of constant questions, with my every single word being transcribed with almost sexual delight… The mare had been ligit fascinated with the concept of a toaster. A toaster! No wonder Moonbutt didn’t get along well with Celestia! That mare had her nose so far in a book she’d probably discover Narnia any year now! On top of that, Luna seemed to care for others, while Celestia seemed to only care about improving her own situation. A good chunk of her questions for the ‘traveler from an advanced species’s homeland’ were about political theory. She really, really wanted to know what I thought the best means of governance was. I explained I was a soldier, and political matters were not my field. That didn’t matter… At all. Not even a little. Nothing would stand between a metaphorically rampaging Egghead and new information! I’d finally told her my personal opinions. Namely that the best system would be effective, able to decide on important decisions within minutes if necessary, and focused on bettering the lives of it’s citizens, so they would not want to rebel or change the system, allowing the system to run unimpeded. So basically, a constitutional monarchy with the leaders appointed based on merit and moral fiber and without any hereditary rule was probably the best system. Sure, my ancestors loved democracy, but all that got them was an inept and incompetent government who couldn’t make up their minds in time to stop a meteor from killing billions of people. Literally. The average person has no business in helping deciding policy, simply because they really don’t know what they are talking about outside of whatever field they happen to have skills in. We have experts in engineering, science, medicine, and warfare for a reason. Politics should be no different. Hopefully she took that advice to heart. Egghead seemed like the sort of person who could weasel her way into power. Monarchy is effective, but it’s a double edged sword. A person who remembers a government’s job is to serve the people and improve their lives will make a great dictator, king, head honcho, etc. A person out for themselves, quite the opposite. Doubly hopefully, she didn’t somehow push her people into going Military Junta like mine did… It’s sort of hard to improve lives when a state of war is what keeps you in power. I’d also told her that achieving the ideal government was probably impossible, and gotten what amounted to a ‘challenge accepted!’ out of her. That’s when I decided she creeped me out and I really didn’t want to talk to her for much longer. Upside, she eventually left me alone to go nail her boyfriend. Or maybe take a crap. Cuz seriously, what else can “It’s been enlightening, but I need to go lower the sun.” mean? After that, the whole evening had been quiet. Just the postulating mumbles of Starswirl. The really crappy part of it all was I hadn’t been able to sleep. I just wasn’t tired. So I had to stay awake for the whole goddamn thing. So I decided to play a game or two to pass some time. It had been a pretty long time since I had last linked in. A week was a hell of a long time away for me, but well, there wasn’t exactly a network to use here. That was honestly the one thing I missed about home. The community. Though fortunately, I was always the kind to store most things locally. I mean, why not? With a VI sorting things out for you, the human brain has basically unlimited storage capacity. Add in the ability to record data to your junk DNA and well… Pretty sure one human could hold the entire net’s worth of content if they wanted to. And were insanely wealthy… For a non-physical thing which can be infinitely replicated, data is fucking expensive. I closed my eyes and extended my thoughts towards my inner workstation. The silver gray walls of the tent melted away, my brain constructing the AR room I had set up as my personal node. Within a few seconds, I was standing on a smooth steel floor made from burnished plates, surrounded by blue-gray walls, with one large window looking out over the martian surface from orbit, and a scattering of scifi furniture, fixtures, and decor replicated from some of my favorite games. A bit nerdy, but it looked great, gave me a view of my mom’s house, and felt cozy. Cheer.ly chimed as the AR node finished loading. I winced. “Man that feels weird now that I’m a civvie… Cheer.ly, address me as something more playful from now on,” I ordered. Cheer.ly said in confirmation. Eh, good enough. I walked over to the desk and plopped down into the captain’s chair, hoping my physical body’s twitches were not enough to disturb Bon while she slept. Last thing I wanted was an angry snake around my waist while I was busy here. A flick of my hand brought several windows to life, hovering in the air over the desk, each displaying a game title I had stored to memory. The question was what sounded fun? Something relaxing for sure, today had been hell enough. No need for an action game. The room’s dim white light flashed red as a warning chime echoed off the walls! “Wait, what the fuck!?” I exclaimed, leaping out of the chair, ready to kill the node before whatever the flying shit could mind hack in this universe got into my actual conscious- The room’s doors opened with a cheezy hiss, revealing an unarmored Luna as she trotted into the room with a happy smile. Oh right, she said she could enter dreams. I requested. Cheerly reported. There, now she wouldn't trip alarms. Now that I could see her properly, Luna was actually really cute out of armor, but then again, that seemed to be normal for ponies. Still, without the silver platemail, she looked far more approachable and well, fun. Less knight on a crusade, more ‘girl I room with cuz she’s hilarious’. A pretty interesting transition to say the least. Though personally, she could have used the blindfold still. While it would be rude to say it to her face, her eyes were creepy as hell. I’d expected like, cataracts or something, not birth defect level malformed white rocky looking things with red veins crossing over them like some kind of vine growing over a wall. I silently ordered. She reported, as those terrifying eyes were filtered out via digital construct. Ah! No horror movie level creepy eyes. Much better. “Well met, Lyra!” Moonbutt exclaimed cheerfully, unaware of the milliseconds long interaction between my VI and I. “I was wondering at which hour thee would lay down for the night. Would it be alright if we spoke for a while? I assure thee, thee wilt still catch but a wink well despite our interactions.” “Hey there, Moonbutt! And for the record, not sleeping. Just bored. Decided to play a game, but talking would be fun too,” I greeted cheerfully, doing my best to forget how her eyes looked naturally. I said, deciding to just not have to see that again. she chimed in reply. “Th- thou wast going to playeth a game?” Moonbutt asked, sitting down and tapping her forehooves together eagerly. “Might I join you?” “Sure, I don’t know if I have anything you could play though… Er, because blindness. How about we talk for a while and I have Cheer.ly find us something? Cheer.ly, search my games list for something relaxing a blind person can play,” I requested. “Order confirmed: Searching,” Cheer.ly replied ‘audiably’. Luna jumped, clearly spooked. “What on Equis was that!?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s Cheer.ly, she’s a VI. My people created…er, well spirits, kinda. They help run our machines, but we also make one for each one of us. A sort of personal servant to keep your mindspace working right and help us use our technology.” Luna tilted her head to one side. “Thou intentionally allow yourselves to beest possessed?!” “No,” I said firmly. “She’s a part of me, like the subconscious. She’s not supernatural, just a sort of secondary limited intelligence that lives in my head and is subservient to me. It’s just something all of my species has… Or at least, all of us born in the last two generations. That’s when we first created them.” “I see,” Luna said with a confused frown amidst a look of understanding. “Thy people are…far more developed than mine own, aren't they?” I nodded, blushed in realization, and then verbally confirmed. “Yep. By a metric shit-ton.” She nodded to herself before asking. “So, what can this…spirit do for you?” “We call them VIs,” I began, “it’s short for virtual intelligence. Cheer.ly’s not standard, she, and I, have military upgrades. The normal versions will adjust your body’s autonomic processes to keep you in good shape and health, manage your biomods for you, enable you to remember every moment of your life exactly as it happened, record your dreams, search through your memories for relevant information on request, they work your integrated AR capacities for you so you just have to give orders instead of calculating it all by yourself…” I took a breath before continuing. “They also serve as a long distance communications device, allow us to share memories, serve as the link between us and net-enabled technology allowing us to control it remotely, automatically alert emergency services when we are in danger or need medical attention, and if your parents payed extra, they can serve as a coherent personality that’s your friend to provide constant companionship,” I finished. Luna triple blinked. “That one entity can do all of that!?” “Mmmmhm, and like I said, that’s just the civilian model,” I clarified. “Cheer.ly does a ton more than that for me. My personal favorite is she lets me do things like control adrenal surges and keeps my body in fighting shape at all times without me needing to exercise… Downside is that means I can’t keep any body fat so I have small boobs which sucks. Upside, I can sit on my ass for months and still be able to benchpress five hundred and twenty pounds. “Oh! She also can control each individual muscle fiber in my body, allowing me to use all my muscles instead of only some of them, which is why I just look toned and a bit buff instead of like a girl who's been eating nothing but steroid wheaties. You know, despite my physical strength. She’s also supposed to be able to dampen pain, but I’ve never had that happen. I think she’s glitched a bit.” Luna shook her head and looked off into the distance for a few moments. “Did thou not sayeth thou art a soldier? If 't be true thy species hath enabled all of thy kind thusly, what need has thy people for warriors?” “Our species is divided into two nations,” I sighed. “Problem is, the other guys are better at tech than we are… And at this point, both nations see the six decade long war as a tradition to upkeep.” “Ah, I see… I presume you’d rather not talk about such things. Am I right?” Moonbutt asked in concern. I nodded. “Yeah… Let’s not talk about that. Not right now.” “I understand. In the spirit of more fun questions, may I asketh thou a question?” Moonbutt asked curiously. “Yeah, go ahead,” I chuckled. “I mean, you just did.” “I meant a more personal question,” she retorted with an eye roll. A gesture which blew my mind that a blind person knew to do. Then again… She also smiled, and frowned… Maybe facial expressions were instincts. Why did I never learn behavioral psychology? Pulling my head back into the conversation I nodded. “Sure. Let me just head the most common personal questions off. I’m not religious, I’m into girls, politics is a waste of time to discuss, and no, I do not feel bad for serving in the military.” “Uh, I didn’t mean to asketh any of those, but tis good to knoweth. I guess,” Moonbutt stammered, blushing adorably. Heh. It was always hilarious when people were embarrassed by me being frank with them. Luna’s blush beat out the cashier at the BX from three years back in terms of adorably embarrassed. A long standing record finally smashed. “Oh, realy? Odd, most people just getting to know me ask one of those questions,” I mused with a thoughtful frown. “Well, see… This is a dreamscape. I can see here, at least in a certain sense,” Luna explained. “From what people describe it’s a similar but different sense. However, I would like to knoweth what thou look like. Thou could taketh off thy suit off without being hurt here, so, may I see what thee thou look like?” I nodded, giving her a smile. “Of course! How do you see? Could you describe it?” I started to mentally browse through the various outfits I could equip my avatar with which would let her get a good idea of what I looked like. Luna was lucky I kept mine looking like the real life me. If she were talking to any of my squad, she’d think humans were nekomimi or something. “Certainly, a moment,” Moonbutt asked, dipping her head as if concentrating. Cheer.ly warned. Assuming that Luna was using some dream magic to see, I quickly ordered. Cheer.ly said. “There you go, you should be able to do whatever you were doing now,” I said casually, going back to browsing my stored outfits. “Ohhh! Thy species is so smooth,” Luna exclaimed suddenly. “I nev'r thought a furless creature could beest cute… But thyne is most assuredly adorable! It hath to beest the streamlined look. Thou remind me of well made armor, it’s quite appealing.” I couldn’t help but let out a single laugh. “Moonbutt, that is armor. I’m still in the suit, I haven’t changed out of it yet.” “No you’re not, I took it off. You said I could,” Luna replied, a bit confused. “Eeep!” I squeaked, equipping an outfit at random. “What the fuck, Moonbutt! I said you could look at me!” “Um, and I did… W-what didst I doth wrong?” She asked, ears drooping fearfully. “I didn’t mean you could see me naked!” I exclaimed, an embarrassed red flush filling my face. “But I hath asked if 't be true I could see thee outside of thy suit, and thee wast fine with… Wherefore art thee angered about this? I’m naked, you’re seeing me. What’s the problem?” She asked, voice bouncing between upset, hurt, and confused. “I-” I started, raising a finger angrily before stopping, hand falling as I realized. “Oh… right…” I took a deep breath. It was hard to remember that her species didn’t do mandatory clothing. Hell, her face was basically at her species junk level. She probably didn’t even care about nudity due to sheer over expos- I slapped a palm to my face in embarrassment. Lyra, you’re a fucking idiot. She’s blind, and can only see here, in dreams. She has no idea that nudity can be sexual… “Moonbutt, I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I forgot you're not a human. We see being naked as a semi-sexual thing. It’s something you only be around romantic partners. From your perspective, yeah, I can see that you’d assume I meant you could see me naked. But a human would have never assumed that’s what I meant.” “Oh! I am truly sorry!” Luna quickly apologized. “No, it’s fine, you didn’t know. I’m the one at fault here for getting mad. Especially since you're blind, and I doubt you’d find appearances sexual anyways,” I said, continuing my apology. Moonbutt nodded. “This is true. I’m actually attracted to combinations of behaviors. Kindness, compassion, courage, and joy, to beest specific. I am still apologetic for having caused thou embarrassment with mine cultural misunderstand-” She trailed off, eyes widening as her ears stood up in what looked like alarm. “Wait! You said it’s only permissible to be seen naked by romantic partners. Does this mean we’re married now buy some sort of common law?” I rolled my eyes. “Yep. We’re totally hitched now...” Luna gave me a panicked look, as if she wanted to sprint headlong away, but also didn’t want to flee. “... While I am certain mine mother wilt killeth me for this… Thou art exotic looking, kind, and seemeth to care for me. I suppose things could beest worse,” Luna mused to herself. I shook my head. “I was being sarcastic, you silly filly.” Luna facepalmed- I mean facehooved. “Bloody Faust… I’m a complete fool…” Cheer.ly informed, sending me a list of appropriate games silently so as not to interupt he conversation. My mind settled on one in particular. A simple, but rather fun game. Stellar Chess. “If it makes you feel better, I think I could do worse too,” I giggled. “So, games… What about something we could play and still chat while playing? You said you like chess, right?” “Yes! I love chess,” Moonbutt affirmed. “Though I would much rather see one of thy people’s games.” “You will,” I assured, “because we’re going to play a game that’s a lot like chess. Well, it is chess, except for a few small differences. First, the board is three dimensional, not flat. It has a number of squares equal to a standard chessboard, and twelve layers that sit one atop the other. Pieces move freely in this three dimensional space. Second, it takes pieces time to move, after ordering them to go, they travel at X squares per turn. Third, you can only take out an opponent's piece after destroying its defenses by having pieces with high attack power next to it for enough turns to deal enough damage. “Sound fun?” Luna gave me a content smile. “Indeed, explain to me what each piece doest and I shalt destroy thee.” I smiled to myself and shook my head. She probably would. I sucked at this game. “Cheer.ly, start a game of Stellar Chess. Keep it in my office,” I ordered, a green vector board flicking into existence between the two of us. “Starswirl said thou willt be here for several days… Can we playeth one of the alternate world games thou described tomorrow night?” Luna asked hopefully. “Yeah… I’d do that today, but the real violence is still pretty fresh,” I admitted. “Tomorrow should be fine though.” “Excellent!” She exclaimed happily. “Oh, um… Fear not. I believe I shalt enjoy this game as well. “Great,” I began, “here’s how you play.”