//------------------------------// // Where the Pieces Fit (Surprise): A Place To Call Home // Story: Awkward Conversations And Other Stories // by No one is home //------------------------------// I honestly can't think of a better opening them for this arc. “This will be Swing Shifts room,” Surprise walked the Changeling Princess through the downstairs of Just Deserts, somewhat nervously, “Me and Trainwreck will stay in this room right next door.” “I notice there’s only one bed?” Fast Change pointed out quizzically. “Well, Train Wreck prefers to sleep on the floor,” Surprise rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, “And it’s really iffy whether or not we could find a bed that could support his body mass… or a chair… or a scale for that matter… I know it’s hard to believe, but he’s actually much more massive than he looks.” “I see,” the Princess nodded, “That actually makes a lot of sense, given what I’ve seen. On a more personal level, how would you describe your domestic life? What’s your daily routine?” “Well we get up pretty early to prep the bakery,” Surprise answered thoughtfully, “Train Wreck helps in the kitchen and cleans the dishes. He mostly tries to stay out of sight during business hours because he’s worried his appearance might chase off business.” “Has it?” Fast asked with some sympathy. “Pffft,” the green mare rolled her eyes and flipped her mane carelessly, “Maybe a little at first, and there have been a few snooty-pants nobles who’ve stormed out in outrage, one in particular thought it was just disgusting, the idea that Train Wreck would use his snakes to prepare food. So I pointed out that everything they had ever eaten at my bakery had in fact been in an earth pony’s mouth at some point, so how was this any different? He swore to place a complaint with the board of health. Either he didn’t, or they must not have cared, because nothing came of it.” “Ah, so aside from running the bakery, what’s your daily life like?” Fast Change gently prompted the conversation back on topic. “Well, we go out and shop in the evenings. Train Wreck likes to make his visits to the hive during the lunch rush, which is a little annoying because it’s the second busiest part of the day, but it’s also when we get the most new customers. And if anyone's gonna flip out it’s gonna be a newbie. All the regulars are already used to him,” Surprise stopped long enough to take a quick breath before continuing, “Usually he gets back in time for the big rush, when all the foals get out of school.” “That would seem like the time he’d be more worried about scaring off business,” Fast raised an eyebrow as Surprise fought back a fit of giggles. “Are you kidding? You must be kidding,” Surprise laughed despite herself, “The colts and fillies LOVE Train Wreck. Can you imagine, when you were little, going to a sweets shop where a real honest-to-goodness monster serves you cupcakes?” “Huh," the Princess cocked her head to the side, “Well when you put it that way, that does sound pretty cool. But what I need to know is how does Swing Shift fit into this?” “Well, I’ve been looking into schools, but I’m having some trouble finding one that will take a changeling,” Surprise admitted, “Or would she report back to the hive for schooling?” “Actually, that’s one of… several issues that I’ve taken into consideration,” Fast change became thoughtful, “All the changelings at the hive are either adults or larvae. Schools aren’t something we had anticipated needing yet. I think I could pull some strings and get her enrolled in a good school, and perhaps provide a private tutor to fill in any gaps that are only pursuant to changelings specifically. The most important thing here is having her interact with ponies her own age. And I’m glad you’ve already given it some thought.” “Does that mean we make the cut?” Surprise asked excitably. “It means there are still steps to take,” Fast Change corrected, then smiled, “But I’m certainly not saying no. Most of the time when I do this, it’s for adult drones who want to live with adult ponies. Sometimes it’s for romantic reasons, sometimes it’s employment. This is something more akin to an adoption. That said, I’m not sure where the law stands on this, but you might be required to officially get married to finalize this. Are you alright with that?” “I’d have to talk with Train Wreck,” Surprise twiddle her hooves in embarrassment, “I don’t think he’d say no, in fact I’m sure he wouldn’t. We’ve just been taking things nice and slow on that count. How much do you know about us? Where we came from I mean?” “I know Train Wreck is purely a bi-product of Starlight Glimmer’s time loops, that the original human named ‘Ki’ from this timeline is very dead. Celestia and Luna even went to the trouble of having his grave exhumed. He was still there,” Fast Change said in a matter-of-fact tone, “I’ve been assured that he’s been vetted by every means available to the crown, magic and otherwise, and he is almost 100% certainly exactly who and what he claims to be. In short I probably know more about Train Wreck than you do.” “As for you,” Fast Change continued without interruption, “I know you just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. You attached yourself briefly to the Watch family before striking out on your own and opening this bakery. You’ve been confirmed by this world’s Pinkie Pie to be the Element of Laughter from, and I quote, ‘A Super Not Very Nice Subliminal Demi Plane’. Does that about cover it?” “Weelll,” Surprise cocked her head one way and then the other, “Yes and no, you’ve got most of the facts right as far as this world goes, but there’s a lot you're missing because it didn’t happen here. One minute, let me transition into a first-person narrative and I’ll explain.” “Wait, what?” Fast change blinked twice in confusion. -=-=-=-=- I’ll start with Train Wreck. In his own Timeline he was a human soldier fighting against Sombra’s armies. He was older than most of the soldiers, and had none of the advantages of any of the pony tribes. Still he followed Pinkamena straight out onto the front lines, fighting Sombra’s armored soldiers with nothing more than a heavy iron rod. I don’t think he would have left that world, as horrible, as the war must have been, even knowing he was going to die, he would never have left Pinkamena by choice. But he didn’t have a choice. Because I couldn’t just leave him like that, not again. You see, there was a Ki on my world to, except he didn’t appear in front of a train, or maybe he just got out of the train’s way. Either way, he never told me about it. I found him eating out of dumpster behind Sugar Cube Corner. I let him live in my Pinkie Cave downstairs. And no, it is not just a room in the cakes basement. It was my superfun party hide-out! Your Pinkie Pie has one too. Just ask her. We were really close friends. Sometimes at the very edge of more than friends. The one thing between us, was I never believed him. I thought his stories of alternate universes, and insane conspiracies where the princesses locked humans in horrible dream worlds was just something he was making up. At any rate I was way too busy being the element of laughter to have anything to do with THAT kind of relationship. So instead of following my heart, I listened to the old Pinkie-noggin and set up a job for him with a friend of a friend far enough off from Canterlot that maybe he could relax and stop being afraid that Celestia’s “Solar Inquisition” was going to find him and turn him into a pony. Possibly a girl pony, because he swore that’s what they did in all the other timelines. And I kept telling myself I was going to go back one day, and maybe we’d give being “us” a shot. Then I followed another group of humans back to their world where a plague was turning humans into ponies like Train Wreck. All the types Discord described, and several others to boot. I… don’t like to talk about what happened there. The important thing is that when it was time for me to go home, well, home just wasn’t there anymore so I came here instead. I was really sick when when I got back, and Silver took me straight to the hospital. While I was there I went around the wards, throwing little parties and doing my best to cheer up the other patients. And that’s when I found him. There was Ki, maybe not my Ki, but still I couldn’t help but think, there was my friend, floating in changeling pod, waiting to die. The doctors said there was nothing anypony could do for him at that point, and they were just keeping him comfortable until he died. I was really depressed after that. And maybe I got a little too clingy with Silver… don’t look at me like that. He was the only pony in this world who even knew my home had ever existed at all. I had just been reunited with a friend I’d lost with my whole world, only to find out that in this world he was… Just don’t judge me. I didn’t cross any lines. Like I said I may have gotten a little too clingy, but that was just a Surprise being Pinkie Pie thing, and I Pinkie Promise I had no intentions to come between Silver and his wife. But it made things kinda weird and awkward. Well more awkward than usual, and then the time loops happened, and the Blind Goat asked me to do him a favor, and when I found out what it was… how could I say no? -=-=-=-=- “So I guess you could say me and Train Wreck have an unusual history together,” Surprise finished her narrative, “We had talked around the idea of just where we were going with this whole ‘us’ thing, but we really thought we had plenty of time to figure it out…” “Until a certain changeling filly started running away and stalking Train Wreck,” Fast Change nodded, “Well mariage may or may not even be an issue, like I said I’m not sure how Equestrian adoption law works specifically. Nor am I certain how much wiggle room I have as the Princess of Changelings. By the way, why do you have a tiki statue in your room?” “We… uh, don’t?” Surprise admitted unexpectedly, “I’m not sure where that came from.” “Swing Shift…” Fast Change rolled her eye’s with irritation.