Twilight Sparkle looked over at the huge stack of binders as a smug look of satisfaction crept over her face. It had seemed like a rather simple affair to go through those records at Princess Celestia's request. "Gosh, how could they have missed it?" Twilight said to herself. "All they had to do is switch from a logarithmic estimation process with Spengler's growth pattern adjustment variable to a modified exponential estimation process using Hauser's bracketing!" She took a sip of her nearby strawberry iced tea, chuckling for a moment. "It's almost Elementary School stuff!"
Of course, she wouldn't ask for anything in return. She wouldn't dream of it. However, she knew that the Canterlot Health Affairs Department, known officially as 'Chad' but colloquially always referred to as 'that bucking Chad' or 'the stupid Chad' et cetera, would have to present her with another medal. Her calculations, which had at least a ninety percent chance of being successful, would save the agency at least half its budget.
Twilight finished her drink, and she leaned back in her fluffy white chair. Her eyes glanced up at the various bookshelves around her. Maybe I should dust the library soon. Couldn't hurt. She felt like doing something more in celebration, though. Why not? I'll send the Princess a scroll in a moment, but kitten videos await!
"Ha, ha! Time for the Ponynet!" Twilight called out, magically lifting over her pPad. She clicked the side and watched as a big smile crept over her face. The screen lit up, and the background-- a sleazy image of Princess Luna from the recent controversial Photo Finish picture spread, with Luna's lips curled around her face in a way that always made Twilight's heart flutter-- flickered into place.
She took a low breath in anticipation. I suppose I'll head right to PonyTube. Or I'll check out something fun and music-related over at MNE.com, maybe? Rather than choose between applications, she decided to open up Chrome and just run everything through the browser. That'll be easier for sure. She tapped the upper-left side of the screen.
The familiar gray and blue frame of Chrome appeared. She opened up MNE.com, standing for Musical Network of Equestria, and the obnoxiously formatted website, filled with constant flashing things and gaudy colors, filled her eyes. She scanned the day's news, and a low, sharp pain shot up through her insides.
"What! OK No might be breaking up?" Twilight cried out, and she slanted to the side in her seat. She nervously tapped her hooves on the table as she read on. "Band leader Poppy Jumps hints of a solo career with his new work on Fab Factory's soon-to-be-released soft rock album?"
Hold on, Twilight, you're smarter than this. You know that bands do this all of the time. They just want to drum up publicity in order to promote sales. It's a trick older than the Ponynet for crying out loud! Still, she found herself clicking over to PonyTube and opening up the wonderful music video to "There It Went Again". She bounced up and down, looking a lot like Pinkie Pie, as the infectious guitar riffs and snark-filled singing began. The band members hopped to and fro around their massive gold and silver treadmills, with Twilight rubbing her flanks in the air at the same time.
"They wouldn't dare stop the music by breaking up, not when they've single-hoofedly saved the Canterlot power-pop scene from this supposed 'post-punk' horseapples," Twilight muttered. "From 'You're So Bucking Hot', 'There It Went Again", "The Invincibles", "Getting Over It", and-- just-- everything else--" She stopped, and she realized that she felt like crying. "No! I'm not going to let something like this get me down!" She took a little breath, and she kept on dancing, turning up the volume.
"Oh, there it went! Oh, there it went! There it went! There it went again!" Poppy Jumps sang. The music filled her whole library.
"Yeah!" Twilight twirled about on her hind hooves, clopping her front hooves together. She threw her mane back, preparing for the next verse.
*Beep!*
She missed a step and fell flat on her face. She immediately stood up, a huge frown popping on her face as her ears flickered back. "What the hay was that?" Twilight hollered. And thank goodness Spike is at Sweetie Belle's and didn't see that. Twilight's eyes swelled up as she looked upon her pPad, seeing a nasty error message.
Invalid Command
*Hey, oooh, not... there...*
Flash Has Non-Integrated Plug-Ins
*But, oh, right there-- it's more than good*
Please Upgrade Google's Flash Extension
"Oh, please," Twilight remarked, rolling her eyes, "another upgrade? I just did one this afternoon, only about two hours and--" She glanced down at the bottom of her pPad. "Thirty-six minutes ago. Gosh!" She closed that tab of the webpage. Well, forget PonyTube, then... I'll just look at some business and financial type news. She clicked over to Blooming Burg, LLC and magically floated over another fruity iced tea.
*Beep! Beep!*
"Again?" Twilight muttered. She surveyed the big gray frowning faces that had popped up all over the webpage tab. Another big yellow error message appeared, and she clicked her teeth together.
Server Access Depreciation
Index Limits Reached in Recall
*You like that, don't you? Want more?*
Please Upgrade Google's Velez Extension
*Your body tells me that you want more*
"Well, rats," Twilight murmured. She rubbed a hoof on her chin. "And what on earth is all this stuff about 'touching', 'bodies', and 'not touching there'?" She looked up at the ceiling, seeing sunlight streaming through her library. Must be some kind of jargon that I'm not familiar with. Maybe I could send the Google Team ponies a scroll.
Okay, I'll just use Firefox. Twilight closed the whole browser and opened up her other option, feeling better as the orange-tinted window flickered into place. Good ol' Firefox... it won't bug me about anything... She sipped her drink as she snuggled into place in her chair.
*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!*
"Son of a beeswax!" Twilight called out, popping out of her chair. She glared at her device. Yet another nefarious error message had splattered across the screen.
Firefox Is Unable To Reach Trim Control
Gain Depreciation At Maximum Capacity
*What about your belly? On your belly?*
Please Upgrade Firefox's System Adapter
*Rub it harder? Well, you're a bad girl, aren't you?*
"I've more than had enough of this!" Twilight spurted out a big breath, and she pulled up her main system panel on her pPad. She clicked over to 'Upgrades', and she began to upgrade both browsers. "This had better get resolved in this century." She tapped her hooves against the bottom of the table anxiously as big green status bars filled the screen.
The black progress bars crawled slowly across. Twilight leaned her head to the side. She rested it against her hooves as she closed her eyes, picturing what she'd do once she got everything working again. Maybe I should hit Dashie up with another message. I'm feeling rather, well, 'frisky'... I suppose that's the word that she would use. Dashie always finds it funny how I'm more discrete, using terminology such as 'having sensual needs' or 'experiencing carnal withdrawal' or 'wanting post-work comfort' and so on. Twilight blinked, and she glanced over at the screen once again.
Warning
Upgrade Failed
*Please, I beg you, don't bring in that*
Please Re-install Programs Involved
*Oh, yes, you're going to purr like a kitten*
Twilight opened her mouth up wide, prepared to hurl insult after insult at the device. Yet she stopped halfway. She stared straight down at how the condensation of her drink had dripped along the top of the screen. Her eyes darted about from tiny Twilight to tiny Twilight in the drops, reflected in such a way that made it look like her doppelganger was walking underneath the screen.
"Of course," she moaned, and she hopped over into the middle of her library. "Why didn't I ever think of this before?" Book after book flew off of the bookshelves and hovered over her head. She flickered her gaze up and down, scanning cover after cover. "No. Nope. Not that one. Maybe?" She paused, opening up a slim, green magazine and flowing through the pages. "Well, not that either." The books buzzed around her head like bees going about a flower.
She spotted a thick, gray text with odd-looking whitish stains along the cover out of the corner of her eye. She let out a happy squeal. The other books sailed back into place, and Twilight propped the gray text down as she arched her back up. She devoured the pages, her hooves lined up at the bottom of the text as she learned all she could on the subject.
"Well, 'transmuting a pony into a miniaturized world'," she remarked, magically grabbing a third fruity drink, "I suppose it's a lot less hard that I had thought. I just need to find the right spell, but gathering the power will be a piece of cake." I wish I knew what that white film on the book... it almost seems fresh... is it? She sniffed the tip of the cover. Where the hay did that sticky white film come from? She flashed back to how Rarity had checked out a bunch of books, although she couldn't recall which books those had been. "Oh, whatever."
Twilight flipped over to the section containing the actual spells. She cleared her throat as she felt her horn glowing brightly. Such an odd spell... it starts out making sense, but then it devolves to a sort of song and dance number. She magically lifted over her pPad, still frozen from the mysterious inter-browser problem, and she nudged it in between the pages of the text. She felt her powerful magical energy coursing through her body, and she smiled. Let's recite this thing!
She started by muttering an incantation of what seemed like nonsense words, although she knew it had something to do with setting the parameters of the spell. The rest of it at least made some sense-- although not much. "Diggi-loo, diggi-ley!" Twilight sang. She bucked up on her hind hooves, and she swung her front hooves in a clock-like circle as she pumped her plot backward. "Diggil-loo, diggi-ley-- blixtar och dunder, magiska! Plötsligt en dag har det hänt, åh..." She let out a giggle as she spanked her cutie mark hard. "Vilken tur."
What language is this? She clopped her hooves, clenching her flanks together as the book's spell commanded. She looked straight up, winking. She took a deep breath before singing once more.
"Du är en lyckofigur!" She leaped up in the air, waving her hooves as if she could fly. "Diggi-loo diggi-ley! Alla tittar på mig." As she landed, she threw her body onto the floor, crawling like a snake. "Där jag går i mina gyllne skor." She prepared for the last line, throwing all of her magical energy into the strange rhyme. "Diggi-loo diggi-ley, himlen öppnade sig!"
A bright white flash appeared right above her head. She closed her eyes, feeling her pPad flying up and rubbing up against her chest, and ripples of magic coursed up her fur. She kicked against the floor. A powerful suction, as if she had a gigantic vacumn cleaner over her, flew her body straight upwards.
Time felt as if it had ripped, feeling like a film reel suddenly snapping. Twilight's senses went numb for a moment. She first heard her quiet breathing, twinkling her nose. Twilight opened her eyes up, slowly but surely, yet she could only see a soft, almost cuddly-sort of whiteness popping up around every inch of her body. She blinked. She rubbed her eyes again.
She found herself lying about a huge white mattress, her face and hooves mashed against the corner. She tried to stand up, and pillows landed across her sides, her body somehow slipping up against something. She took a very deep breath, and she teleported herself up atop the fluffy white pillows.
She looked all around, seeing white mattresses up against the walls, floors, and ceiling all around her. She saw rainbow colored walls with various cartoon-like animals alongside the mattresses, from puppies to kittens to elephants and more, all drawn in with what seemed like gigantic crayons. She twirled her body around, and, sure enough, she spotted a bright pink crayon the size of three ponies just a few yards away.
"What the hay?" Twilight called out. "This is the inside of my computer?" She glanced down underneath her. "Wow, what are these?" She held her hooves up, nudging her body against the shiny golden boots that had appeared. They felt smooth and cuddly. "How did I get these?"
"Vingar på skorna, är allt vad du behöver!" yelled a cheerful voice.
Twilight flipped around from side to side, her mouth hanging open. She couldn't see that other pony anywhere. Yet, as she looked around yet again, more and more items seemed to pop up inside of the room. Enormous, fuzzy teddy bears with arms filled with sparking candies rested against the walls. Pony-sized crayon after pony-sized crayon stuck out from the walls above her, seemingly writing by themselves without a hint of magic. Frisbees, garden hoses with sprinkler ends, teeball stands with bright white balls atop them, and other outdoor type toys sorrounded her.
"Åh, jag kan bli vad jag önskar! I min förtrollade värld!" Twilight heard. A sweet, feminine chuckle rained through the air. "I mina gyllene skor!"
"I'm sorry, ah, whomever you are," Twilight said, hopping about across the floor. She ducked as pillows flew through the air by themselves. There's no magic here. Or is there? Is everything just naturally this weird? "I don't speak that language."
"Gosh," replied the voice. "I thought you were speaking Swedish, and I was just singing along with you. Sorry, miss purple-maned-cutie-pie. I'll adjust my language settings accordingly."
"Language settings?" Twilight repeated. Oh, goodness, am I talking to who I'm thinking I'm talking to? "Where are you?"
"Graphical interface points skyward, my nice new friend," said the voice, and another girly giggle followed.
Twilight glanced upwards. Her eyes locked on a beautiful white pegasus, the mare hopping about from mattress to mattress on the ceiling. Twilight reached out, and she suddenly felt her body wobbling out through space. "Hey, whoa?"
"Oh, there's no gravity here, you silly-illy-purple-filly," the pegasus remarked, and she beat her wings as she kicked against the ceiling. She sailed through the air and picked up Twilight like a falcon going for its prey, causing the unicorn to let out an 'eep'. Twilight found herself thrust into the arms of one of the teddy bears, the pegasus slobbering her face with bright red chocolates.
"I'm sorry, I, uh," Twilight muttered. She stopped, having no idea how to really even start. I have so many questions! So many things to learn! So many things to get resolved! She rubbed her head back and curled her mane against the fluffy brown bear chest.
"My name is Chrome," said the pegasus, and she gazed over at Twilight. "My friends call me 'Rome' or 'Romi' for short." She held up her shiny white hooves and ran them through her slick, even shiner light-blue mane as she winked. Her matching light-blue eyes, with big, pretty black eyelashes above them, looked so adorable to Twilight. "Of course, they also call me 'Chrome' too. Well, I like all three. Variety is good. That's what I'm all about. Variety and lots of choices are what my friends expect from me." Chrome scooted over closer to Twilight's spot, scattering the mound of candies around them, and she smiled. "Are you going to be my friend, too?"
Twilight nervously nodded. She hadn't expected this at all. Twilight surveyed every inch of the pony-version of her favorite browser, sliding her body off of the teddy bear. Chrome hopped up and clopped her hooves, overjoyed to hear Twilight's response. Twilight drank in Chrome's pretty green, yellow, and red wings as they brushed up against the bear, Chrome's long, flowing light-blue tail curling up along her hooves.
"We're going to share so many wonderful experiences today, Twilight," Chrome said, flying up and hovering right above Twilight's head. "I'm honored that you chose me to be your program for these next several instruction cycles!"
"How do you know my nam--"
"Oh, you crazy-azy-popping-up-in-my-room-like-a-daisy," Chrome remarked in a sing-song voice, sailing down upon Twilight's shoulder and playfully smacking her mane, "Everypony here knows you. Your data. Your preferences. Your histories. Everything." Chrome gazed whisftully across Twilight's sides and down along Twilight's droopy tail across her hooves. "I know, more than many, since I'm your own creation, designed around you and how you've used me."
"Sure," Twilight replied, not sure how to even begin to take that. She looked over at Chrome flying a loose loop-de-loop, and she looked down at her boots. "How did I get these?"
"Your song," Chrome replied, making a sudden zig-zag. Pillows danced across in the air around her. "Remember? 'In my golden shoes' or 'I mina gyllene skor'?"
Twilight shrugged.
"Oh, hey!" Chrome burst out, flying about in a spiral down over at Twilight. "I have to introduce you to my other friends!"
"Okay..."
"Especially my bestest-most-fantabulous friend in the whole wide Ponynet! Let's meet her!"
"I would," Twilight began. Chrome ran up behind her and smacked the unicorn to the side before pulling her body back with her wings. Twilight squeaked out a weak "love to" as they aimed straight for a small crack in the far side wall. Holding on to Chrome's backside, Twilight nudged herself forwards. She could hardly believe her eyes-- with the crack transmogrifying into some kind of a gap in the rainbow-colored wall that grew wider and wider every moment, vanishing parts of the mattresses around it into thin air.
"Hold on," Chrome remarked. They flew straight on through as a flurry of rainbow-colored sparks rippled across them. Twilight clutched Chrome's back tightly. In just a moment, she felt cold, wet breezes dripping across her fur. Twilight leaned her head backwards, looking all around as Chrome's wings beat more slowly, and she gasped.
Canterlot, Ponyville, and everyplace else that Twilight had ever seen all couldn't hold a candle to the massive cityscape. Massive towers with intricate geometric shapes coursing across their sides lined up row after row besides huge domes and labyrinth-like arrays of metallic girders, spires, spikes, and wire-coated beams. What seemed like rain soaked everything, blue dripping across the endless expanse of grey, black, and glass.
Immense neon lights with fractal patterns and three-dimensional symbols dotted across the industrial complexes. Chrome sailed over to the right, wrapping across a glowing dark grey sphere, and Twilight shifted her gaze downward. Powerful whitish-blue beams shot out from building to building, and she focused, spotting ponies figures speeding along inside of the beams. Crowds of thousands upon thousands of ponies with all manner of sizes, shapes, outfits, gear, and everything else muddled along from place to place.
"Sweet Celestia," Twilight remarked, "it's beautiful."
Chrome stopped atop what seemed like a gigantic letter 'O', perching up like a bird and sticking her wings out. She looked back and grinned at Twilight. "We call this area, where we work, 'the frame', and it's made up of what we call 'the city' all mashed up against 'the grid'."
"Inside of my own computer," Twilight muttered. She narrowed her eyes, seeing a gaggle of tall, proud-looking unicorns with bright red top hats pressing through the crowd. "And those are my programs. My data. My... my everything." She almost felt numb, coming to a profound realization as her mane shifted about her shoulders. "Every single pony in here is basically a piece of me, even closer to me than my own family." She paused, pressing her hoof against her temple. Yet, at the same time, they're all independently made... gosh, I wonder if other ponies have the same thing inside their pPads. I wonder what it means if I were to back things up or if I restored the factory settings. A chill crept up her insides. Would restoring factory settings mean killing all these ponies? But they weren't really alive to begin with, I suppose.
"I suggest you don't worry about it, Twilight," Chrome said, gently sliding Twilight off of her back. They sat right next to each other, bottom hooves swinging against the front of the massive neon sign. "I can tell that you're worring about getting her, about being welcomed here." Chrome nudged her side against Twilight's, Chrome's slippery, shiny mane curling against Twilight's fur. It felt a lot better than Twilight wanted to admit. "We'll all welcome you with open hooves, especially Foxy."
It's not the welcoming that I worry about. It's the implications of me being here. Twilight glanced straight down as Chrome kept on rubbing against her, spotting those hurried ponies with the big red top hats. "Wow, they're going pretty fast," she murmured. "And who's that fellow with the scarf and the bright blue dots all across his body in between them?"
"Oh, that's First.fm," Chrome remarked. "That program's just escorting the artist information to the main page, making sure that all of the musical profiles show up when the radio station plays."
"Oh, gosh," Twilight muttered. She squinted, seeing the mare in the middle with the big scarf pull out something like a tuba. "And that one in the middle, she's a pack of data? A jpeg with text data?"
Chrome nodded. She looked back up above them, rain still spattering against her face but turning into more of a drizzle. "Where is Foxy, anyways?" She let out a little, quite squeal. "It's our special place. And I'm here right at the exact moment in the cycle." She made a cutesy, pout-ish sort of expression as her ears stuck out.
Twilight glanced across the storefronts. A grumpy-looking unicorn with black and purple stripes across her body hopped from building to building, holding a big pen in her mouth as she surveyed the various designs and patterns across the building facades. A huge badge glittered from the light purple jacket atop the unicorn's back. "Oh, I know! She's an-- an--" Twilight nudged Chrome. "She's an anti-virus program!"
"You're a smarty," Chrome giggled. "I should know, after all." She stepped over to the side, her wings sticking out and pushing Twilight down flat upon the top of the sigh. As Twilight lied down, trying to relax but still feeling confused. Chrome stood up straight above Twilight's body. "I should know, since you made me."
"I made you," Twilight repeated in a monotone.
Chrome blushed, her bright white cheeks turning an adorable pink. "That's right. Your every last little search. Your ever last little click. I've seen something like everything that you've seen in my world, making us connected in a way so unlike you and other programs." She pressed her front hooves up along Twilight's bottom hooves. Chrome's smooth, slick fur felt like nothing Twilight had ever felt-- so different than Dashie's wild, ragged fur. Chrome's eyes seemed to draw Twilight like a moth to two burning flames. "I'm made just for you. Customized just for you. And, now, I can finally be with you, face to face."
Twilight couldn't believe it, but she saw something like two bright bluish tears appearing below Chrome's eyes. Twilight stared as thousands of square-shaped cracks popped up on Chrome's face where the tears ran down, glittery energy glowing underneath the broken digital skin. The tears joined the raindrops going across the top of the neon sign. The cracks disappeared, leaving Chrome's own pretty features just as before. It all felt so poetic.
"Chrome," Twilight muttered.
"Please, please, call me 'Romi'. That's what Foxy and everyone that loves me calls me."
"Romi," Twilight said. "I don't really understand what you want." She showed emotion. And the emotion seemed to... destroy part of her? Or corrupt part of her, somehow? Are programs supposed to show emotion like that-- crying and everything?
"I... I..." Romi muttered. She moved her hooves up to Twilight's sides. A look of concern flashed up across her face, her tail and mane shifting about. "I don't know either, to be honest." She sniffed. "It's so scary-- yet so thrilling-- to be going 'off task' and filling out new missions that I didn't get directions for." She rolled her head back, letting the last bits of rain course along her cheeks and neck. "I've dreamed of getting instructions from you like this."
"You've dreamed? Dreams? Programs can have dreams?"
"We're not supposed to, although, it's not proscribed really-- just something that's a 'don't ask, don't tell' thing." She leaned back down and locked eyes with Twilight. "I often dream about life before. About my early education in that administrative server, when I was told over and over again by my educators about my mission and my purpose. I flash back to how they told me to feel my user, to recommend things to my user, and to give my user what he or she wants to the best of my ability."
Twilight felt flattered, confused, and even a little bit ashamed somehow. She slinked away from Chrome's grasp, moving off of the giant neon sign and onto the grimy steel staircases behind it. She rubbed up against the metal bars and stood up. Chrome simply froze in place, her mouth hanging open. She seemed incapable of expressing what she thought deep inside. That makes perfect sense. They're programs. They're robots, replicants, or whatever anypony would want to call them. They're not meant to feel things outside of their user tasks... right... I think. Right? So, any emotion would be difficult for them to deal with.
"Who's making my best friend cry?" called out a strong, sultry voice from just below them both.
Twilight and Chrome flipped around, looking straight down in the staircase. Chrome burst out with a gigantic smile. Twilight simply scratched her head.
To Be Continued...