Sometimes, Shining Armor wondered if he was a bit too sadistic in how he enjoyed teasing his recruits. But as he maintained his smirk and stood before Glimmer, basking in the way his favorite klutz ducked his head and tried to smile in turn, he could happily say there was no such thing as too much in this case.
If anything, he wished Lighthoof was there. Not because days at the massage clinic were a thing he wanted to do with his officers—let alone at all, really—but because Lighthoof so desperately needed to get a few licks in. Nothing mean, just a joke or two.
Shining raised an eyebrow at Glimmer. “Well, Glimmer? Gonna answer me?”
True to form, Glimmer snapped to attention as though he were still a recruit. “F-Fine, sir—I mean Prince Armor!”
“Informal, Glimmer.” Shining fought down a snigger. “Unless you’d like me to make this a formal visit. Though this place is open already and I don’t see a ribbon that needs cutting, so that’d be incredibly pointless.”
“Oh, um, right.” Glimmer stood up straight, his smile faltered slightly. Tilting his head, he glanced between Shining and the door. “Er, permission to speak freely, then?”
Shining frowned. “You’re on leave and I’m off-duty, Glimmer. You can say what you want within reason.”
Shimmering green ears drooped. “Sorry. I keep forgetting.” He coughed. “Er, if you’re not here for anything official, and I’m pretty sure I still have a couple weeks to report … why are you here, sir?”
Sucking in his lips, Shining glanced away.
How best to say that his wife had guilted him into trying it out for her with a few words of concern and a pout without making it seem like Cadence could just bring him to heel like Esalen could Glimmer?
Simple misinformation, of course.
“Cadence thinks I’m stressed out,” he said after a moment. “And when I mentioned that friend of yours giving me her card—”
“Esalen,” Glimmer cut in, before suddenly ducking low.
Shining flicked an ear, his lips tugged into a smirk. “Yes. Well, I have your little friend to thank for Cadence insisting I come here.” He paused a beat. “So, is Esalen in?”
Glimmer cast a quick look over his shoulder. “Um, well, yes. She and Toola are both here.” His smile strained, he tried to slip past Shining. “You can just go on in and, uh, wait for them. They should be ready in a few minutes.”
“Uh huh.” Shining didn’t move, fixing Glimmer with an amused stare as the colt tried to press against the doorframe to get around him.
Their eyes met. Glimmer faked a grin.
“Got somewhere to be, Glimmer?”
“Er, not really, sir.” Glimmer’s grin faltered as he tried pushing past Shining’s shoulder, only to find that the unicorn was quite sturdy. “Just going out for a walk. Y’know, get moving before work and stuff.”
Shining could only let his brow arch higher. He snorted and shifted his weight, using his larger frame to pin the smaller colt in place.
They stared at one another a moment longer.
“You’re acting awfully skittish, Glimmer,” Shining noted.
“Lieutenant Lighthoof would say that I’m always skittish,” Glimmer countered as he tried to push again.
But to no avail. “You wanna tell me what’s going on, or should I just pick you up and carry you inside to ask your friends?” Shining asked. He gave his horn a meaningful spark. “You’re not so heavy that I can’t do it.”
Horror flashed across Glimmer’s face. He took a step back and bowed his head low. “No, no, no!” he said in a rush, before stealing a quick glance over his shoulder. “Please don’t! Toola wants me to—”
As if on cue, a mare’s voice sounded from within. “Glimmer! Glimmy-Glim-Glimmer! You better not have left! You promised to do yoga with me today!”
Glimmer’s ears drooped. He looked up at Shining Armor, his forest green eyes widened in silent plea for mercy.
What in Equestria did Toola do in those yoga sessions?
“Did you promise?” Shining found himself asking.
With a pathetic whine, Glimmer nodded. “I did because she kept prodding and begging me to try it.”
“Have you tried it yet?”
“Once.” A deep blush colored his muzzle. Glimmer hunched his back and bashfully scuffed a hoof against the porch. “I didn’t think ponies could bend like that,” he muttered.
Shining suppressed a snort. Oh my. The sound of hooves thudding against the floor from within made his ears twitch. Eh, I’ll give him this one. “Well, if you’ve already tried it, I guess I can’t hold it against you.” He stepped to the side and gave a wink. “Better get moving.”
Glimmer didn’t need to be told twice. His ears perked up, he snapped a quick salute and gave his thanks before sprinting out of the clinic as fast as he could.
Shaking his head, Shining stepped inside. Well, I can honestly say my morning has been eventful already. And for once, I won’t have to do a report on it.
The clinic’s interior had a rather homey feel to it in the waiting room. A small two seater couch with rather puffy pink cushions and purple pillows sat against the wall, a polished wooden coffee table littered with cosmetics magazines and what looked to be today’s issue of the Crystal Scribe rested before it.
Directly ahead of him, a small mare with a bit of a pudge to her frame sat at a desk just a short distance from a wooden door. She rustled her wings as she doodled on a sketchpad, her eyes flitted up to meet his.
Just as she made to speak, the door burst open to reveal a mare of soft pink coat and light blue and violet mane. Her eyes darted left and right before settling on Shining Armor.
Pink ears perked up. “Oh!” she gasped, before giving a quick bow. “Hello! You must be Prince Armor!”
Shining nodded once. “Yes, I am. And you are …”
“Toola Roola!” she replied, beaming back at him. “Essy mentioned running into you with Glimmer yesterday, Your Highness. I don’t think I’ve seen her so flustered since that time I—wait a minute!” Her eyes widened slightly, then narrowed. Toola Roola turned to the mare sitting at the desk. “Sure Stroke! Where’d Glimmer go?”
Sure Stroke hid a smile behind her hoof. “I think he said something about going out for a walk before work,” she said, her voice tinged with poorly restrained mirth. “And then he ran as soon as he heard you calling for him.”
Toola gasped. “And you didn’t stop him?”
“Nope!” Sure Stroke replied happily. “Prince Armor didn’t either, and he had a better chance then me!”
Shining cursed as Toola gave another gasp and turned her gaze upon him. “To be fair," he began, holding up a hoof, "I didn’t have reason to hold him here once I’d discerned nothing was wrong.”
“But there is something wrong!” Toola stomped a hoof. “He’s supposed to do yoga with me today and then massage therapy with Essy afterward!”
“Is he having aches and pains?” Shining asked. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he went through Lighthoof’s reports on Glimmer. He didn’t recall any physical disabilities, clumsiness notwithstanding.
“No,” Sure Stroke cut in. “They just like giving friends nice things, and he's adorable when he tries to turn them down.” She paused a beat, then turned to Toola. “You know he’s getting away, right?”
Toola grumbled something under her breath, then galloped out the door, calling, “I’ll be right back!” as she raced after Glimmer.
Blinking, Shining could only stare at Toola’s receding form until the door swung shut. He laughed and shook his head. “Glimmer, Glimmer, Glimmer,” he muttered under his breath.
Not quiet enough that it went unnoticed by Sure Stroke, though.
“Essy and Toola are terrible teases to him,” the mare put in, drawing Shining’s attention as she stood to bow. “So is my Aspire, but those two just love seeing him flustered.”
Shining’s ears twitched. “I do recall Esalen mentioning your names. He’s your boyfriend, then?”
“Yes, Your Highness,” she replied.
“And how do you two know Esalen and Toola?”
“Aspire and Esalen are family, Toola is her girlfriend.” Sure Stroke smiled. “I’ve been friends with them and Spinneret since my family left Cloudsdale for their village.”
At the mention of a new name, Shining tilted his head. “I don’t believe Glimmer mentioned a Spinneret. Did she not make the move here?”
Sure Stroke shook her head. “Oh, no, Your Highness. Spinneret is here, she’s just been gathering things for her garden and felt it best not to join us on our tour.”
Again, his ears twitched. “Is that what she does for work, or is it more of a hobby.”
“A bit of both. She likes it and she has an affinity for spiders.” Sure Stroke’s wings rustled nervously. “And, well, gardens attract bugs, so spiders make webs around them. And she just finds the whole thing calming. Something about—oh, well, never mind that. You’re here for Essy, not our life stories.”
Oh, right. The massage.
Story time would have to be put on hold then.
Shining smiled. “Well, if it’s any help, I am glad to know Glimmer made friends outside the guard class.” Maybe it’ll help him figure out what sort of thing suits him best. He nodded toward the door. “Do I need an appointment, or does she take walk ins?”
Stepping around the desk, Sure Stroke pushed open the door and stepped through to hold it open for him. “Essy takes walk ins when she’s not busy with another client. She was only just setting up when Glimmer decided to make his escape before Toola could have her way with him. Follow me, please.”
He followed along, then fell into step alongside her as she led him down a hallway just wide enough for two or three ponies to fit through. Pictures of all three mares he’d met lined the walls, some of them featuring a grinning orange stallion with deep red mane with his hooves around Sure Stroke and Esalen, as well as a few later ones showing them joined by a mare of pearl white coat and shimmering silver mane.
“Aspire and Spinneret?” he asked, nodding at one that showed Sure Stroke standing between the pair—the stallion had his hooves around her and seemed like he was trying to drape himself across her, while the mare seemed content to regard them with a small smile and amusement shining in her eyes.
Sure Stroke bobbed her head. “He’s a goof, but he’s my goof.” A fond smile played upon her lips. “He can be sweet when he’s not being a smug little punk.”
He let out a snort of laughter. “And her?”
She stopped in front of a door bearing Toola’s name in loopy cursive writing, her smile seemed to falter a touch. “She’s strange.” Sure Stroke glanced at him, then back ahead. “Spinneret is always up to something and she really likes to play it close to her chest, if that makes sense.” Her ears drooped slightly. “Though … it’s been the source of one or two fights before.”
Shining stayed quiet a moment, unsure of what to say.
What exactly was there to say? He didn’t know these ponies any better than he knew a random griffon in Alfons’ ranks—in fact, the only connection he had was Glimmer.
Twily would say to offer support. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. And then she’d come up with some sort of friendship lesson to get them all to open up a bit more.
Before Shining could speak up, her smile was back in place as if it had never left. “Never you mind, though, Your Highness! She’s a good mare, and a friend. And you’re here to see Essy anyway.” Sure Stroke continued on her way toward the next door, which bore Esalen’s name in similar writing.
She knocked twice. “Essy!” she called. “We’ve got a walk in if you’re ready!”
“Just a moment!” Esalen sang back, her voice muffled by the door.
With the familiar tinkling of magic filling the air, the door pulled open to reveal Esalen’s smiling face. Her eyes lit up upon seeing Shining. “Prince Armor!” she said, her ears perked up straight. “I didn’t think you’d come so soon!”
“Blame my wife,” Shining replied with a rueful smirk. “She thinks I need to unwind and won’t take punching a bag for an hour or wrestling my fellow guards as an answer.”
Esalen brought up a hoof to stifle a laugh. “Well, I’m glad she did. For entirely unbiased reasons, of course.”
He snorted. “Of course.”
“Okay, maybe some biased reasons.” Her bright pink eyes seemed to dance with mirth. “But on an unbiased note, roughhousing while your muscles are tense is a surefire way to strain something.”
Shining flicked an ear. That was a point he couldn’t argue. “Fair enough.”
Esalen stepped to the side and held out a hoof to admit him, her gaze flitted to Sure Stroke. “When’s my first appointment?”
“You have an hour until Gemstone’s appointment. Plenty of time.” Sure Stroke turned to trot away, but let her gaze linger on Shining Armor. “Is there anything else you need, Prince Armor?”
He shook his head and smiled. “No, I think that’s it.” Shining gave a little bow. “Thank you, ma’am.”
Sure Stroke bowed in return, then continued down the hallway toward the waiting room.
Turning to face Esalen again, Shining entered her office. He glanced around, the long, cushioned massage bed at the center of the room captured his focus the very instant he laid eyes on it.
The only way he could think to describe it was in terms of a doctor’s examining table. But without the angling near the head and back. It still held that uncomfortable, tight-wrapped synthetic look to it.
For reasons he just couldn’t explain, it made him want to turn tail and leave. Maybe he could wander back out to the waiting room and just nap on the couch for an hour.
That would count toward relaxing and unwinding, right?
As if sensing he was second-guessing his prospects, Esalen shut the door and guided him toward the bed. “Just lay down and relax,” she ordered gently. “It’ll be easier if you think of it less like therapy and more like you’re at home resting.”
Shining bit back a line, instead asking, “Face up or down?”
“Whichever you want me to start on.” Esalen hummed a little tune to herself as she lit her horn and floated a glass jar of a pale yellow salve over and removed the top so she could rub it into her hooves. “Are there any muscles giving you problems in particular? I know you’re a guard by profession, and it’s common to have a bit of neck stiffness thanks to those helmets.”
Almost reflexively, Shining rolled his shoulders and tilted his head to either side as if to pop it. He stopped just as he felt his neck tighten.
He gave an awkward cough. “Yes,” he replied, sliding onto the bed. “It’s nothing too serious, but my neck and shoulders stiffen up a little. Might be because I do a lot of paperwork these days.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Esalen bob her head. “Looking down for long hours of the day would cause a bit of tension.” Her lips twitched. “And if what Glimmer says is true, he thinks he may have made bits of your mane gray a bit early with his antics.”
“He wishes,” Shining retorted. “My gray hairs come from Lighthoof and Wind Runner. Glimmer’s a klutz, but he’s small potatoes compared to those two.”
“Good to know. With all that said, why don’t we start with your neck and back, then? On your stomach, please.”
Shining positioned himself accordingly, resting his head on his hooves. He raised an eyebrow as he watched her approach with the jar floating at her side.
She pulled out a glob the size of a strawberry with her magic and moulded it in mid air.
“What is that?” he couldn’t help but ask, eying the glob of strange goop.
Esalen giggled. “It’s just a little something to help relax your muscles. Think of it like something you might put on if you pulled a muscle, but without the burning.” She winked. “The only thing you’ll feel is my hooves working out the lactic acids built up and any tightness you’ve got. I promise.”
Shining shrugged. “Just curious.” He scrunched up his nose in thought. “Lactic acids, huh? It’s been a while since I took biology or any health sciences, but I recall that being a product of working out.”
“That’s right.” He felt her hooves touch the small of his back. The smile on her face dropped, her brows furrowed as she pressed lightly and trailed along his sides up to his shoulders, humming a low note as she touched near his armpits.
Shining, on the other hoof, wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing. He let out a wince as she touched near his ribs, and started as she touched near his tailbone and thighs. No matter how he tried to grit his teeth and bear the sudden discomfort as she pressed her hooves into his muscles, the slightest touch seemed to make him want to squirm away.
When she reached his neck, Shining felt pain like no other. Like somepony was trying to drive a wedge between his head and his spine.
He let out a groan and arched back, his face contorted in agony.
Esalen’s humming stopped. She blinked a few times, then set her mouth in a thin line.
“Something wrong?” he asked, giving a nervous smile despite the lingering pain. “You’re not about to tell me I’ve pulled a bunch of muscles getting back in shape, are you?”
The smile flitted across her face. “No, no, I’m just feeling you out.” She blinked again. “Professionally, I mean.”
“I figured. And how do I feel?”
Esalen frowned. “Well, along your back, you seem healthy, albeit a bit tender in a few spots. Especially your ribs and thighs.”
His ears drooped. “I fractured a couple ribs and got a gash along my leg a few weeks back.”
“That would explain it.” She nodded once. “I’ll try to stay away from your ribs, then. If you feel any pain there or in your leg, let me know and I’ll stop. As for your back and neck …” Esalen trailed off and removed her hooves from his back to rest them on the bed. She gave him an almost pitying smile. “I’m afraid you’re not going to like me for a little bit.”
Shining wrinkled his snout. He turned to fix her with a quizzical stare. “Why’s that?”
She sighed. “Because I’m going to have to be firm in working out the tension in your neck, and it’s not going to be comfortable at first.” Her hooves touched between his shoulder blades. “I’m going to have to knead from here up to your neck so we can get the tension out.”
A low hum sounded from the back of his throat. Shining grimaced, thinking a moment.
Everything he heard about massages was that they were relaxing, like a nice warm bath or a dip in a griffon hot spring. Nothing really about how it was painful at first.
Of course, hot anything meant dealing with the initial burn. Maybe it was just like that.
A bit of burning as he eased his way in.
Shining gave a noncommittal shrug. “If that’s what you think, let’s do it.” He forced a smile and raised a hoof to add, “No telling Glimmer if I start tapping, though.”
Esalen rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Of course. You colts and your bravado. Fine, I won’t tell him if you squirm.” Heaving a long-suffering sigh, she nodded as she began to lightly knead her hooves between his shoulder blades.
At first, it felt … oddly pleasant. The pain and stiffness were there, both biting into him with each time Esalen’s hooves pressed and rolled them as if kneading dough. But it was almost like a stretching sort of feeling, yet not.
A hum sounded from the back of his throat. Shining closed his eyes and let his ears lay flat against his scalp, a smile played upon his lips.
It was nice. The little bits of pain that came with the pressure aside, he could almost—
Esalen’s hooves pressed harder as she pushed forward, the soothing sensation of her kneading left him. His entire being felt consumed in pain.
Shining bit down on his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, he tried to arch his back to alleviate the pressure. His breath caught in the back of his throat.
“Breathe,” she commanded. “And relax your muscles.”
“Hurts a lot!” he ground out through gritted teeth.
“I know, but I have to or your neck is going to stay tight. It won’t last long, I promise.” Her touch lightened, Esalen rubbed twin circles between his shoulder blades. “The more you hold your breath and tense up, the worse it’s going to feel.”
Her hooves pressed down again, Shining’s muscles burned worse than ever before as she mercilessly continued her work.
Still, he breathed through his nose, just as she asked, and clenched his eyes shut.
Dang it, Cady, this is not relaxing!
Forward. Back. Circle. Forward. Back. Circle.
Shining Armor’s eyelids felt heavy, his breathing came in time with Esalen’s ministrations as she worked on his neck again. He smiled and let out a deep breath through his nose.
I could fall asleep right here.
Forward. Back. Circle.
He felt almost weightless, like Esalen had managed to just push her hooves against him and force all the tension and stress from within his body.
Maybe that was why Cadence so loved massages. They hurt a bit when the masseuse started on each part, but with each little motion, each firm press and soft caress, the pain just seemed to wash right away. If anything, he felt … like a cloud. Or like a nice, fluffy loaf of bread.
His smile faltered a bit. No, the cloud was better. Clouds were far more comfortable if he cast the right spell before laying on one, and bread involved using a rolling pin.
No matter how apt a rolling pin might seem for how he felt, he wasn’t interested in being flattened out.
Even so, he felt at peace. Nothing could bother him right now, as Esalen worked on his lower back. Not the recruits being slow on the uptake, not the Council being pains in the flank, not his career, nothing.
All he knew was comfort and the firm, soothing touch of Esalen’s hooves.
It was magic, plain and simple. It just had to be. How else could he explain the way she could make him writhe in agony or purr like a kitten with just the slightest change of pressure or technique?
As if on cue, Esalen rolled the edges of her hooves along his spine, drawing a low moan from the back of his throat.
This is the life.
“Feeling a bit less tense?” Esalen’s voice called, muffled through the heavenly haze.
Shining let out a mumble, then shook his head to clear the cobwebs. “Yeah,” he muttered. A dazed smile crossed his muzzle. “Amazing.”
“Glad to hear, Your Highness.” Her hooves stopped, she patted his back twice. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to call this the end of our session, though. My next appointment is in ten minutes and I need to get ready.”
Opening a bleary eye, he fixed her with a halfhearted glare. “I thought masseuse’s charged per hour.”
Esalen gave a bright smile. “We do! But when you walk in instead of scheduling, I have to prioritize my reserved time slots so I don’t lose clients. Besides—” she winked “—you’re not paying this time.”
Shining shot up, his eyes wide and ears perked up to their fullest height. “If this is about me being royalty, I assure you I have no problem paying whatever your rate is.”
She shook her head, but her smile remained. “You’re a friend of Glimmer’s, Prince Armor. He spoke very highly of how you taught him while he was a part of your class. Even more so when you told him to take time to figure out what he wanted to do.” Esalen’s brought a hoof to her chest. “It means a lot to us—Aspire, Toola, Sure Stroke, even Spinneret, and me. I’ve only known him a few weeks, but it’s nice to know he had somepony looking out for him.”
Before he could reply, Shining found himself wrapped in a tight hug. He blinked twice and reached up to pat her on the back. “Uh … glad I could help?”
Esalen drew away and beamed. “You really have. He’s still figuring it all out, but he’s much happier.” Her eyes seemed to flash. “Toola and I have one or two ideas for him.”
Shining bit back a quip in favor of smiling in return. Glimmer was doomed, plain and simple.
At least he’d get a good seat to watch the show, though.
“Well, take care of him,” he said after a moment. “I won’t lie, I’m hopeful that he’ll come back, and I know Lighthoof plans on giving him a swift kick.” Shining swished his tail. “I might too, come to think of it.”
Esalen raised an eyebrow, her tongue darted out to lick her lips. Then her smile brightened. “Well,” she began, feigning an innocent tone as she looked away and swished her tail, “I suppose if you put him through the paces again, Toola and I will have all the reason to shoot down his protests when we dote on him.”
Shining was proud to restrain himself to a chuckle. “I guess you would if he came back. But, like I told Glimmer, he has to decide what’s best for him.”
“And I respect that. I really do.” Esalen bowed her head. “Which is why you’re not paying, Prince Armor. Thank you for helping him.”
He made to speak, but stopped short, pulling a face.
Not a battle he was going to win. Not today, at least.
“Fair enough, then,” he said. “Thanks for your help, I feel …” Shining trailed off, rolling his neck to test his muscles. When was the last time he didn’t feel them tugging against him? “I feel ten years younger.” He met her gaze, smiling. “I’ll have to send Cadence by—she could use a good session.”
“I’d be happy to have her. If you want to set something up, I usually have openings Wednesday afternoons.”
Wednesday? Shining tapped a hoof against his chin. It would be a nice thing for her to look forward to in the middle of the week, especially after holding Court and meeting with the Council.
He wrinkled his snout. Cadence still had to meet with them to stall for time.
“Put her on the schedule,” Shining said, turning to start toward the door.
“Of course. This Wednesday or next?”
His horn flashed, his magic wrapped around the door handle. “Wednesdays,” he replied. “Regularly.” Turning to look over his shoulder, Shining met her gaze, smirking at the wide-eyed stare she gave in return. “And take care of her.”
Esalen worked her jaw wordlessly, her cheeks colored a deep red.
Shining just chuckled to himself and faced forward. He walked out of the room, though not before tossing one last remark over his shoulder.
“Refusal to accept pay next time won’t be allowed.”
He flicked an ear at the familiar sound of a pony falling back on their haunches, and let out a bark of laughter.
It was good to get back into the swing of things. It’d be even better once Cadence got a little pampering of her own in.
Shining’s smirk grew into a full blown grin. “She’s not the only one who can pester until she gets her way.”
Two could play at this game.