As Gosling was led down the hallway, he saw his mother, Sleet, standing by what he assumed was the door to Skyfire’s room. He wobbled for a moment, he couldn’t tell if it was his ear problem or his emotions. He couldn’t make out the expression upon his mother’s face. When their eyes met, he felt something go through him, it was like flying too close to a thunderhead and feeling the static in the air. All of the hair along his crest and the back of his neck stood up.
“Gosling…”
He could hear the heartbreak in his mother’s voice. His ears stood up straight as he took the last few steps to close the distance between him and his mother. He felt Cadance give him a little nudge to keep him upright.
“You grew up to be the pony that I hoped that you would be,” Sleet said in a voice that cracked and became shrill with emotion. Her somewhat nasal voice became a whole lot more nasal when the tears began to spill down her cheeks. “There’s only so much room in there, so I’ll be out here, waiting. I’m proud of you. I can’t say if you’re doing the right thing, but I’m proud of you for doing your best to be a good pony. A mother couldn’t be more proud.”
“Thanks, Ma.” Gosling felt himself nudged towards the door by Cadance.
“Go and be a stallion,” Sleet said as the door opened and Gosling was led inside. “The time of your youth has truly passed.” Sleet bowed her head, closed her eyes, and tears spilled down to the floor as her son disappeared into the doorway.
The scent of blood was overpowering, overwhelming, and made Gosling feel even more dizzy. The coppery tang in the air assaulted his nostrils and made the back of his throat tickle. He stood frozen, his body having gone stiff, and for a moment, he wasn’t certain he could go through with this. Bright crimson dripped and pooled on the floor. Gosling stared, wide eyed, and then he heard Cadance say, “Don’t look down.”
Something unseen could be felt beneath his chin and a gentle force lifted his head. He swallowed, feeling woozy, and at that moment, Cadance was the only thing keeping him upright. He was scooted towards the head of the bed, his eyes lingering on Skyfire. She lay on her back with her legs strapped into two metal braces. A sheet was draped over her middle as a curtain, cutting off her own view of her stomach.
His eyes met hers and he saw terror. For a moment, he could not help himself, he felt pity for her. No parents to be with her, she had nopony, nopony at all. All she had was… him. He had been her friend once, it seemed like a lifetime ago. They had been friends for years… long before Gosling even started to notice fillies in that special way.
“It’s early!” Skyfire said in a screechy whine.
“It’ll be okay,” Cadance said to Skyfire as she stood beside the filly’s head.
“But it’s early!” Skyfire shook her head and panted in panic. “I can’t feel anything down past my wings! What’s going on?”
“They gave you an epidural,” Cadance said in a soothing voice. “And it will be okay. You’re around ten months along, give or take a few weeks. Everything will be fine, I promise.” She drew in a deep breath, blinked, and then lowered her head to be closer to Skyfire. “The foal needs to come out now. There is no time to wait. They’re going to make a small incision—”
“NO!” Skyfire thrashed against her restraints, but was unable to move. She let out a frightened whinny as her whole body was engulfed in a bright pink glow.
“You need to stay very, very still,” Cadance said to Skyfire.
Gosling lifted up one foreleg, wobbled, felt himself righted by Cadance, and then extended his foreleg. Reaching out, he took Skyfire’s fetlock into his own, folding his around hers, and giving it a soft squeeze. Skyfire calmed a bit, and her head turned so she could look at Gosling.
“I wasn’t sure if you would come,” Skyfire said as she gazed up at Gosling. “I’m sorry… really, I am… all of this… it wasn’t worth losing you as a friend… I wish I’d never strung you along… they say you don’t know what good things you have until you don’t have them anymore.”
“Don’t worry about that now,” Gosling replied.
“Even now, it is all I can think about… all I can think about was how stupid I was… I keep thinking if I had just gone to you when I found out I was pregnant, you probably would have helped me. Or been there for me… but I ruined everything!”
“Miss Flash, you’re going to feel some pressure,” a voice on the other side of the surgical curtain said.
“What’s going on?” Skyfire’s panic rose and her terror made her pant even harder.
“We’re going to make an incision in your abdomen. It won’t hurt, but you will feel some discomfort and some pressure. Just take deep breaths, try to hold still, and this will all be over very, very soon.”
“Don’t cut me… don’t cut me… please don’t cut me!” Skyfire squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth together. She gripped Gosling’s fetlock with her own, locking on to him with what could only be described as a death-grip. “IT FEELS WEIRD DOWN THERE!”
“I’m sure it does.” Gosling moved a little closer to the bed and lowered his head until his lips were inches from Skyfire’s ear. Each breath of his made her ear twitch. He felt her squeezing his fetlock and he gave her a little squeeze in return that he hoped would reassure her. There was a squelch, followed by a wet sucking sound and Gosling felt himself grow far too nauseous when he heard something splattering.
“I can feel things moving inside of me!” Skyfire began to whimper and looked up at Cadance with pleading eyes. “Put me to sleep! Please! Put me under!”
“If I did that, you wouldn’t get a chance to meet somepony very special,” Cadance replied in a soft voice. “When this is over, you’ll barely even remember it, I promise. You’re going to look into two little eyes and forget all about this.”
“If we don’t stop this uterine bleeding, we’re going to have a problem!” a gruff voice shouted.
“Pull the foal out so we can see inside better!” another voice bellowed.
“What’s happening?” Skyfire’s voice was nothing more than a terrified, raspy whisper. “I don’t feel good… I feel faint…”
“Get the crash cart over here, now!”
The door opened and a whole herd of ponies crammed into the room. Gosling couldn’t see anything past the now bloodied sheet hanging down and acting as a curtain. He saw something small and bloody being carried out of the room and knew without asking about it that it was the foal. He felt a terrible sinking feeling inside. The foal wasn’t crying.
“I can’t find the source of the bleeding!”
“I can’t feel the pressure any more,” Skyfire said in what sounded like a terrified, but sleepy voice. “I feel cold.”
Gosling felt Skyfire’s grip on his fetlock go limp. He gave her a squeeze, hoping for some response, but there was nothing. He felt a rising panic inside of him and discovered that he still had feelings for Skyfire, strong feelings, she was, even with everything that had happened, his friend. He gave her another squeeze and choked back the sobs threatening to overcome him.
“I need everypony to listen to me!” Cadance commanded in a voice that made everything in the room rattle, shake, and tremble. “I need you to think about the ones you love… your mothers, your fathers, your foals, your brothers, your sisters, your wives, and your husbands. I need you to focus upon the love you feel for them and I need you to do it, NOW!”
The alicorn’s command was irresistible. The room lapsed into a strange, almost unnatural silence. Gosling blinked a few times and tried to think about the ponies that he loved. He loved his mother a great deal. He loved Celestia, that much was without question. He thought about Luna and didn’t know what to feel. That bothered him, as he knew that he would be marrying her soon. He thought of Cadance and knew that he loved her in some way that he had trouble putting into words. Her treatment plan had made him feel better and brought him to Celestia.
There was a strange rumble, everything was shaken with terrific force, and then everything turned pink. Gosling was blinded and then, a second later, he was struck with incredible impact by what felt like a flood. He couldn’t tell which way was up or down, and he couldn’t tell if he was breathing. He couldn’t feel his hooves touching anything. Something that was almost, but not quite a liquid was all around him, and the only thing he could think of to describe what was going on was that it was somehow like being inside of the womb again.
Sounds distorted all around him, he heard muffled cries, shouts, but it all sounded like he was underwater. It was all distant and discordant. Time slowed and sped up. For a time, all Gosling could hear was the sound of his own heart beating, and the roar of blood rushing through his veins. He felt the strange liquid-like environment all around him sink into his body, entering in through every orifice. Up his nose, in his mouth, down his ears, and it crept into other places as well, unmentionable places, and all of it was quite uncomfortable. He couldn’t fight it, he couldn’t resist it, the flood was crushing him, consuming him, and he couldn’t breathe.
He tried to suck in air, but there was none to be had and his lungs filled with whatever was all around him. He swam in the pink flow like an embryonic foal swimming through endless uterine oceans.
“Gossy, wake up, it’s time to go to school.”
His mother’s voice was clear in his ears and he felt himself drifting, as though he was struggling to remain asleep while his mother tried to wake him. Something was missing—his forelegs had a distinct empty ache. He longed for an almost forgotten foalhood toy. A stuffed white alicorn with a pastel rainbow mane and tail. She had been his constant companion when he was a yearling, he remembered talking to her, promising to be a brave pegasus, promising to serve her. Gosling was consumed by a flood of almost forgotten memories from his yearlinghood, but now, he had perfect recall. The tiny stuffed Princess Celestia was his first and most dearest friend. They had adventures together, hiding in boxes, which became ships that sailed endless oceans, or huts that protected them from the dangerous jungle outside.
He had loved her so much, held her so often, snuggled with her in his sleep. She had become threadbare, tattered, ratty, she had started to come apart and her stuffing leaked. The princess that he had loved as a foal had died by degrees, destroyed by the very love he had given her. She had yellowed, become stained, her mane and her tail had fallen out strand by strand, yet he still somehow loved her. One day, she had come apart completely, and Gosling was inconsolable. He now remembered it all with perfect clarity. He wondered what his mother had done with her remains.
There had been so much love for her, so many promises made, promises to be a good pegasus, to protect the weak, defend the innocent, and to do good. Promises made to obey his mother and be a good foal. The memories overwhelmed him, overpowered him, and he was powerless to think of anything else. Something inside of his mind made the connection that, after her loss, after she had fallen apart, his brain had tucked away these memories for safe keeping, tucked them away into a place so safe and so secure that he had almost forgotten them. He had grown up, he had changed, and at some point as a colt, he had learned that little colts didn’t play with dolls. He became ashamed of the stuffed toys that he had and neglected them. In time, the memory, tucked away in the back of his mind, had faded, as it was far too shameful and embarrassing to remember.
But now, as the flood threatened to drown him, he longed to hold the tiny stuffed Princess Celestia once again. He longed to feel her soft velveteen body against him as his mother tucked him into bed and sang to him.
“Gossy, wake up, you’ll be late for school!”
But Gosling did not want to wake up. He wanted to stay down here in the pink depths, remembering his beloved and almost forgotten toy. He longed to remain drifting. This was a good place. A warm place. This was a happy place. To be a foal again, a yearling, to be young and innocent, when he knew no shame, and the most terrible thing he had ever had to worry about was when he had spilled grape juice out of his sippy cup all over his princess.
“Gossy…”
The voice faded as he let himself drift in the pink depths, dreaming of his tiny velveteen princess, reliving a time when there was no stress, no trouble, only happiness. He flapped his wings and felt the strange liquid-like substance flow all around him.
“Gossy…”
There was no reply as he sank into pink bliss.