Colt Dudman Vs Ponyville

by Snogwritts


Chapter 1: A night to remember


After the dreadfully dull process of setting up their home exactly the way Crystal wanted it to be, the next day felt almost relaxing. A party had been promised by the one and only Pinkie Pie, which fortunately gave the family some time to relax. Dudmans father was happy to wear what was comfortable, but his mother had a preference towards fashion over function, especially when they were going somewhere special. In those cases, Crystal refused to have her colt dress in his everyday clothing. Instead, she insisted, and well… forcefully, made Dudman wear a fine tuxedo which of course he hated. Usually, she made her husband Steve dress in much the same way. The room was thick with the smell of Manehattan style cologne, and the mirror reflected a stallion wearing a fine suit, almost as if he was going to a wedding.

“How do I look colt?” Steve asked giving a smug grin, happy to know that his wife was satisfied with his appearance.

Dudman adjusted his own collar. “You look fine dad…” He replied, clearly uninterested. “Where’s mom?”

“She’s still getting ready. Heh, I never know how long that mare will take. Now where’s my bow tie?” Steve went out into the living room to look for it.

Dudman sat on the couch, waiting patiently for his mother. At times like this, he knew exactly what to do. He took out his old journal and started writing:

Ponyville Day 1,

I don't really know what to say about Ponyville… This place is just plain strange to me, and it keeps getting weirder. I wish I was back in Manehattan, trotting through the streets where nopony would bother you about your business. I could really go for a nice chilly dog. Mmm… Those were delicious. I miss that little stand at the end of our old street... The pony running it may not have been polite, but he sure could make a mean chilli dog. Yesterday we saw some residents our new town, and I have to say, I NEVER want to see that pink pony again! Oh wait, I have to anyway, since she's going to be throwing a "Welcome to town" party and mom was too polite to say no thank you. I'm thinking of asking mom if I can stay home, but I highly doubt it. Anyway, something else I did yesterday was explore our new house. I found this... thing... in the attic. It's some kind of gemstone I think, reddish in color, and I found it with a key. I don’t know what’s it's for, or what the key is to, but it's definitely old. Maybe even older than the house I found it in? Eh… at the end of the day, it’s just a stupid gemstone… Maybe it's worth a few bits to somepony in town?

He grabbed his sweater he wore earlier, reaching into it’s pocket and pulling out the strange item he found. Dudman observed it, turning it over and over, then side to side. It had an air of mystery about it that made Dudman curious, something he didn’t like being. Rubbing his hoof on its surface, he definitely felt the scars and scratches, the item itself was pretty rigid. Although, the roughness of it was showing its age quite prominently. A red light erupted from the gem, flooding the entire room with an eerie glow! The light grew brighter, so much that it hurt his eyes, to the point where it blurred his vision. Dudman grunted at the sudden burst of light, staggering back and landing on the couch. He rubbed his hooves over his eyes, helping restore his vision, then glared at the stone, both confused at what just happened, and angry at being caught off guard.

“How did it… Do that?” Dudman questioned.

Hoof steps came from the bedroom, Dudman quickly slipped the gem into his tuxedo pocket. He was going to have to investigate it later. Crystal came out smelling like blossoms with her mane adjusted in a fancy style. The aroma of the perfume quickly settled in as well, in fact, it was a bit too much for Dudman to handle. “How do I look sweetie?” Crystal asked bobbing her mane with her hoof.

‘What am I, a fashion critic?...’ Dudman thought, “You look fine mom.” Dudman replied.

A Sky blue magic wrapped around the blush container that Crystal was using. A few simple strokes later she placed the container down. Turning her head side to side a few times, she smiled, satisfied with the results. “I think... It looks good! Do you think I went too far for tonight’s dress code?”

'Oh trust me, I think you went WAY too far... I mean, bringing your WEDDING dress of all things? And please mom, for the love of Celestia, ease up on the perfume!’ Dudman thought to himself. He knew his mom liked to look the part, and she thought the world of first impressions, but surely even SHE could see that this was overdoing it... right?

Crystal mentioned various times how mares should always try to have a more formal appearance, and expects the same for stallions. One could say this was her so-called “Golden Rule”. However, Dudman wasn't concerned about his appearance, nor did he care for his mother's incessant nagging. Fashion was not something he was interested in. In fact, he had his own rule: It has to be comfortable, fit, and not attract attention. If Dudman had one bit for every time his mother had mentioned that he needed to look formal for his special somepony someday, he'd already have a college fund. Dudman abhorred these conversations, they made him want to avoid romance altogether. In fact, these conversations were brought up so many times even his father got involved, for pony’s sake. They did address how Dudman was still a bit too young to have any real feelings of love, but the one feeling he should start with was friendship. Dudman didn't really have any relation to fillies... and even if he had, they never went well, especially back in Manehattan. Some of them teased him, but Dudman didn’t mind, after all, they were just being fillies. Spiteful fillies, but still just fillies. He was steadfast to his word: if he said he wouldn't go anywhere, you simply couldn't make him do it. On the same note if he said he wasn't going to have friends, then he simply wouldn't.

“Mom..”

“Yes sweetie?”

“Can I-... umm…” Dudman was always hesitant to ask his mother for anything, she was quite unpredictable most of the time. It was usually just easier not to ask, to avoid the trouble entirely, but if he was absolutely sure it would be worth it, he would simply ask anyways.

“I’m listening…” Crystal was smiling as she double checked her mane and tail in the mirror by the front door.

“Can I stay home?...” Dudman asked quietly.

Crystal placed her hoof on her head and sighed looking at her colt. “I told you Dudman for the millionth time! You're not staying here by yourself!” Her mood swung from cheerful to exasperated in the blink of an eye, her voice raising in volume at the same speed.

Dudman flattened his ears and covered them with his hooves from his mother's loud ranting. The constant noise back in Manehattan was more than he could handle, but somehow this was worse. “Mom please, there’s no need to yell...” He knew the moment finished his sentence that he had only made the situation worse.

“I couldn’t care less! Now, stop being such a party pooper and at least try to enjoy yourself a little. My word, I love you Dudman, but you can be so antisocial sometimes. I think we need to have a good talk after the party.” Crystal glanced at the sharp object laid on the couch “Oh, and you’re not carrying that thing. I don’t even know why you keep it in the first place.”

“Wh-Why can’t I have it?” Dudman asked. She hadn’t ever openly opposed it before now. Was it because he talked back to her a moment ago that she was suddenly being so harsh?

“For the love of Celestia, Dudman leave that here! We’re going to a party, not a battlefield! Nopony is going to challenge you to a duel, and there won’t be any dragons for you to fight!”

Dudman flinched at his mother’s sudden burst of anger, he didn’t like when she was angry. Nopony did. It always meant trouble for everypony, but nonetheless, he responded with a simple, “Ok”. Dudman turned his attention to his sword. “My apologies, but you can’t come with me today.” Silence was his reply. “Aww, don’t look at me like that. You know I’ll always come back. Besides, how troublesome can one party be?” Dudman replied to his inanimate object as if it had responded. If you asked Dudman if he had any friends, the answer would be a firm no. His father, however, might say that he had at least one. No matter how sharp or shiny, a friend is a friend.

“Alright, I found my bow tie, everypony ready to go?” Steve adjusted his tie, looking well mannered as he could.

“Yeah, let’s go!” The minute Crystal turned around, Steve widened his eyes at the overwhelming amount of blush that was on her face! Crystal may have thought it made her pretty to have blush on her, but it doesn’t seem that her husband agreed. The first thing that might have come to mind was that she did her makeup with a Blunderbuss. Not that any of them knew what a Blunderbuss was, but that was besides the point.

“That’s a lot of blush honey...” Steve said softly, concerned that she may take offense to it.

“Oh hush, I don't use any more blush than you use gel on your mane. Hmph.” She looked to the side indignantly, Steve's fear of her being offended coming true, "I can hardly remember a time when you didn’t use it.” Crystal never MEANT to be spiteful, but when she felt as though she was under scrutiny, she couldn't help but lash back.

“Aren’t you the pony that suggested I try it in the first place? And I ain’t using THAT much.” Steve was suddenly self-conscious. Had he used too much? Was he just imagining the weight of his mane? Was she right?

Crystal sighed. “Must I bring up how we managed to pay 40 bits for 5 jars of that gel? You know better than I do how that ended up.” All she knew was that due to a slip, 2 of the jars had cracked on the way home. This could have been remedied easily if he had told her what had happened, it would have been as simple as switching the contents to new jars. Instead, he resorted to trying to use BOTH of the jars in a week, before they dried out and went bad.

“Excuse me? I spend more on your beauty supplies than on myself woman. I'm not the one who had to get my mane done at the shop every week.” Steve had fallen into their own self-repeating trap. She would go overboard with something, he would politely let her know, she would react badly, then he would, and so on. It seems like with mare like Crystal, was it even possible to say something about her without getting offended?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” That had struck a nerve. She wasn't mad for him being wrong, quite the opposite. She knew it was true, but she hated admitting it. Fashion was her one true weakness, and she would often stress if she went too long without having a professional tell her she still looked good.

“Oh.. Nothin.” Steve realized it was almost too late to see what was happening... again... 'Slooooow down Steve...' He thought to himself. 'Don't say anything you can't take back... this is the mare of your dreams! You can’t let something as simple as a few too many passes with the blush brush make a rift this wide-

“One more move like that and you're sleeping on the couch.” Crystal exclaimed. It often took her quite a bit longer to realize that they were falling back into the earlier mentioned trap.

“H-Honey! You can’t kick me outta bed!” Steve exclaimed. 'Ohhhh now I've done it.'

Crystal gave her husband a look, full of fire and pride. “Yes. I. can.” There was a venom in her voice that Steve didn't dare challenge. A venom that would no doubt keep Crystal up late into the night with guilt.

Dudman hated the entire situation. He hated how this sort of argument was becoming more and more common. He hated how he let himself think, against all logic, that moving away from the city might help somehow. His mind made logical steps backwards: Where had this started? His father mentioning the makeup? No... farther... His mother needing to look perfect? Even farther... The Party? Yes. This whole argument was happening because of the party. It was one simple logical step back to realize that this was all that pink ponies fault. If she hadn't been so persistent, then he could have been in his room catching up on his reading, and not stuck between his arguing parents in a stuffy tux.

‘Don’t even THINK about asking me for the keys tonight dad.’ Dudman thought. Crystal couldn’t trust herself to possess the keys, she changed outfits so many times they'd often get lost in one outfit or another. She decided to let her colt handle them because she didn't trust her husband not to loose them. He had good intentions, but his mind often wandered while painting, and he occasionally left an apron behind at a job site, Celestia forbid he leave a set of keys in one. Besides, it’s not like little Dudman would abuse having the house key, right?

Out of habit, Dudman checked the clock on the wall, his dad following his gaze and abruptly put his hoof up. “Honey, we’ll talk about this later. We wouldn’t want to be late now would we?” Steve secretly winked at Dudman. This was his usual trump card, Crystal would INSTANTLY forget about an argument if something more important popped up. Out of all means, she focused too much for a grandiose impression for the ponies of Ponyville.

“Oh! Agreed!” Crystal nodded vigorously, having forgotten what they had just been talking about. Grabbing her purse, she trotted happily towards the door. Being on time was a must for Crystal, and being early was like a drug to her, too good to ignore the side effects. The side effects? Too complicated to put into words.

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The family walked through Ponyville at a casual pace, but one that would still get them to the party 10 minutes early and also enough to keep the mares stability. The colorful glowing lights of the party stood out from a good distance! They could already see where the party was and notably enough, they were still half a mile away.

“Hey there it is.” Steve pointed at their destination.

“Wow.. She's really... outdone herself...” Crystal was astounded that Miss Pinkie Pie could throw something so extravagant together so quickly! A thought in the back of her head crept up, ‘How could I ever throw a simple get together at my humble home when I could NEVER hope to match the scale of something like this? How could I even compete?!’

The family trotted through the crowd, Dudman felt like they were back at the train station, but in less of a rush. The ponies were standing around enjoying themselves, varieties of food were arranged around the stands for everypony to enjoy and pick as they pleased. The family barely had time to admire the party, let alone take it all in before Pinkie Pie darted up to them at the speed of light, bouncing in excitement. It was obvious she was happy to see them again, despite the fact that it had barely been more than a day since the last time they met.

“You made it! You made it! You made iiiiiit!" Pinkie gave a large smile, grabbing the mic, seemingly she got it out of nowhere to tell everypony the good news. “HEY EVERYPONY! OUR HONORED GUESTS ARE HERE! LET’S GIVE THEM A REAL PONYVILLE WELCOME! NOW THE PARTY CAN REEEEALY START!!!”

“I hope we're not late miss Pinkie?” ‘Wasn’t my fault anyway’ Steve thought, wondering if maybe he could buy Dudman a nice novel to read, for bailing him out of that argument earlier...

“Oh no no no! You’re just in time! Entrees are over there, main courses are over there, drinks are in the corner, and the hard cider stand is over there, boy is it delicious! Spike's already had THREE!” Pinkie leaned in close to Dudman, resulting in him flinching. “You should definitely TRY some, when your older!” Pinkie gave a grin, then trotted away greeting more of the guests. Dudman vaguely heard her making a joke about the cider being spiked.

‘Alright, I've had ENOUGH. I’m declaring war on this pony!’ Now keep in mind, when Dudman declares war on somepony, it’s just an expression. A promise of endless hatred. Dudman wasn't the type to cause actual harm to anypony unless it was in self-defense. Although, what good violence could give if he could just hesitate any action and go home? ‘I am NOT talking to that pony ever again. I really can’t believe my parents are actually tolerating this...’ Dudman suddenly remembered a question he had earlier. How in Equestria did she KNOW they wanted cider? They never mentioned anything about cider, not on the train, not in the bakery, not even at home. Cider was the ONE drink Dudman actually LIKED, and she just happened to have it here at their party? No. No no no, this was WAY too specific to be a coincidence.

The couple smiled and walked towards the hard cider stand. Dudmans love of cider came from his mother. She just LOVED cider! She would never pass it up if offered, and hard cider was just a bonus on top of that. His dad however? He was probably just happy that the cider would take the edge off of the argument from earlier. Dudmans favorite kind of cider was the bottled ones back in Manehattan. Anytime he saw a bottle, he had to have it. The cider bottles were rarely seen in the city, seeing as how the closest farmland to Manehattan was 40 miles away, but the bottles just got imported. It wasn't super cheap, but it wasn't as popular as soda so it wasn't too expensive either. Dudman would have loved to have some cider, but unfortunately for him, Pinkie had mentioned that the cider was hard… for those of whom don't know, hard cider is alcoholic. Dudman obviously wasn't of age to drink, which meant that the sweet cider he wanted would be out of the question for tonight.

While his parents were trotting away, Dudman remembered the plan he’d had earlier. ‘Ok I think this is my chance to sneak away’. He did so without anypony noticing.

On the stand was an orange mare with a cowboy hat, light yellow colored mane, and tail. Her cutie mark was 3 apples, and she wore a cowboy hat that somehow just looked right on her. Beside her was a little filly with a bright yellow coat, red mane and tail, and had a cute and absurdly large pink bow. Steve couldn't help but think that her bow could double as a parachute if need be.

“Howdy y’all! Care for some cider?” The orange mare greeted them enthusiastically.

“Two please.” Crystal responded.

“Two ciders, comin’ right up!”

The little filly at her side started to crank the barrel next to her, it made a number of squeaking noises as she turned the handle, filling the mugs with the sweet amber liquid. Although, the filly was gazing off at something in the distance, and eventually, the barrel had a mind of its own. The mugs overfilled and spilled their contents all over the table, and unfortunately, Crystals dress. Realizing what happened, she came to a dead stop.

Crystal stared at her now cider soaked dress. She glanced back at the orange mare, wide-eyed.

“Oh crab apples, Applebloom!” The orange mare stared in horror at her sister's mishap.

“Ah’m sorry! I-I didn't mean it, I swear!” The little filly flattened her ears and looked down, guilt evident all over her face.

“Oh Celestia, ah’m so sorry y’all” The orange mare pleaded for forgiveness. “H-Here.” Applejack grabbed as many towels as she could to help soak up the cider that hadn't already set.

Crystal was more disappointed than mad about her dress, she’d spent all of yesterday cleaning it for tonight’s party, all wasted in a moment of carelessness. She was using the best of her ability not to hate and burst with rage. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she was trying to keep a good first impression, she would have started screaming right then and there! Steve noticed her temper rising, if it peaked, he would never hear the end of it. It was time to play the role of a gentlecolt.

“Don’t worry about it, accidents happen. Here, let me help you with that honey.” Steve grabbed the hoofkerchief he had in his pocket and wiped up what he could. “We’ll clean it when we get home, ok?” Steve whispered, smiling softly.

“That’ll take forever!” Crystal whispered angrily, almost hissed.

“Then we’ll pay to get it cleaned, alright? Just calm down and we can worry about it later.”

Crystal, surprisingly, did as asked. It wasn't perfect, but she calmed down a little. She looked up to her husband and smiled weakly. “Fiiiine… but you owe me.”

“Good. I can work with that.” Steve smiled, receiving a small smile back.

“Thanks y’all... again ah’m really sorry” The orange mare felt so guilty about the incident, she had apologized about 6 times while they were whispering to each other already. Crystal knew she couldn't hold a grudge… it was a party after all, and spills happen, right? The orange mare smiled and sighed in relief, placing her hoof on her hat. Crystal was mad on the inside, but she wouldn't let it show. She was too proud for that.

“So… do ya’ll still want some cider?”

“You betcha!” Steve said with a wide grin, knowing that things could have gone horribly worse.

The little filly cranked up the cider once more filling their mugs again, this time to the top and not a drop more, then passed them to the couple.

“Drink up y’all!” The orange mare exclaimed, happy that the moment hadn't escalated.

The couple clunked their mugs together and chugged down the cider.

“Huh… this tastes different than the bottled cider that Dudman likes.” Steve said.

“Well I would certainly hope so! That there is freshly squeezed, and the apples were grown in our local orchard, Sweet Apple Acres” The mare gave a bright smile, clearly happy to brag about the said local orchard. “Well, that…” She brought her volume down to where only they could hear, “And I'm assumin yer little guy don't drink nothin alcoholic.”

“Ah, yes I can definitely taste it,” Steve said, blushing at the fact he’d forgotten about the cider being hard.

“You're right, this is pretty good!” Crystal complemented.

“So… I heard y’all folks were new in town?”

“Why yes, we actually came here yesterday,” Crystal said, relaxing a bit with the taste of cider on her tongue. A tiny bit of alcohol was already working it's way into her blood.

“City life giving ya troubles huh?” Applejack had that warm and almost motherly look in her smile.

“A bit, but we needed a place more… you know… peaceful and quiet.” Steve said, in a matter of factly.

“Definitely. Well I tell ya right now, this here Ponyville is as nice an quiet as y’all could like. Great place to put down yer roots! Heheh, tree pun. Sorry, had a little o’the cider ma’self.”

“Yup,” Steve responded. He already had a nice buzz going.

“Well nice to meet y’all. Name’s Applejack! Over here’s my lil’ sister Applebloom.” The mare pointed at the little filly.

“Howdy, sorry again for the spill.”

Even though she was slightly buzzed, Crystal remembered a problem they’d had earlier. She whispered it to her husband.

Steve nodded. “Right! Uh, miss Jack-”

“Applejack, one-word friend.” She smiled, she’d gotten used to ponies from the city making that mistake.

“Er-miss Applejack, can I ask you a question?”

Applejack nodded. “Sure, ask away”

‘Well, we’re kinda looking for a school for our son. Any suggestions?”

“The Ponyville Schoolhouse!” Applebloom chimed in, “I go there myself!”

“Really? Is it any good?” Crystal couldn't help but smile at the young fillies enthusiasm.

“Yeah, it’s great! Miss Cheerilee is the best teacher in all of Equestria! … well… that… and it’s also uh.. the only school in Ponyville.”

“That’s great! Any idea where miss Cheerilee is?” Crystal asked.

“Actually, she's here at the party!”

“She is?” The couple said in unison.

The filly nodded. “If’n y’all can find her ah’m sure she'd be happy to help ya.”

“Would you be a dear and describe her for us?” Crystal was still upset about her dress, but the booze has done it's job. She was more relaxed now than she had been in months.

“Sure! She has a purple coat, a pink mane, and a cutie mark with three smiling flowers!”

“Alrighty then. Thanks Applebloom.” Steve smiled, she was the most helpful fillie he'd met in… ever, now that he thought about it.

“Nooo problem!” The filly grinned.

Applejack tilted her head back and forth, almost like she thought there was something missing. The couple looked at each other in confusion. “Sorry, but umm... Pinkie was talking ‘bout ya earlier, I think she said somethin about her sister Maud, but neither of you two is even remotely like her… sooo I’m assumin she's referring your son. Where is he? I’d like to meet him.” Applejack smiled, curious as to where the colt might be. It only took a moment for the couple to realize what Applejack was talking about.

“Uh... I don’t know..” Crystal eyes widened. They’d been enjoying themselves so much that they completely forgot about their colt! Crystal grabbed her husband with her hoofs, she was starting to panic. “Wh-where is he?!” Crystal exclaimed in terror.

“Uhh… I… I haven’t seen him since we came over here to grab drinks.” Steve continued to drink his cider through the side of his mouth, as if Crystal might not notice that way.

Crystal trotted up the hill at the edge of the party and screamed at the top of her lungs “DUDMAN! SWEETIE WHERE ARE YOU?! DUDMAN!!” But her attempts were useless. Even if he had heard her over the crowd, which was unlikely, she wouldn’t have heard his reply. She stood there in shock, but eventually regained her composure. She glared at her husband.

‘Oh-ho-ho-boy, I’d know THAT glare anywhere-’ Steve's thoughts were interrupted by Crystal starting to panic, until she realized she was doing it in public.

“Can you uh… Can you give us a moment?” Crystal asked politely. She dragged Steve away angrily, yet somehow he still managed to sip at his drink.

Crystal took Steve into a quiet place off to the side of the party, where nopony could see them. The alcohol was well into Steve’s system by now. Needless to say, he was COMPLETELY misreading the situation, and leaned in for a kiss. A complete success!!!... If you call a slap loud enough to cause an echo a success.

“Ow! Honey! What was that for?!” Steve placed his hoof on his cheek.

“You were supposed to look after him!” She scolded, clearly still in panic mode. It wasn’t fair, but whenever she panicked, she’d try to blame everypony else for everything that was going on. Steve knew this, but he had accepted it since day one.

“Honeeeeey… isn’t that your job too?” He instantly regretted his choice of words as she grabbed his ear.

“Ow ow ow-honey-”

“My job? MY JOB?! Who’s going to take responsibility for this?!”

“Us?...”

Crystal glared at her husband as if he was the dumbest pony in Equestria. Calming down, her logical side was, fortunately, coming back. After a short while, she released his ear. “Fair enough. You’d better be helping me look for-” Steve continued to drink his cider, ignoring her nagging entirely. Crystal took the cup with her magic and splashed it onto her husband. “Pay attention!”

Steve’s mane was over his eyes from the splash, blocking his sight. He moved it a bit so he could see. “Heheh… Ok honey...” ‘I probably deserved that for something. Maybe all the drinking...’ Steve smiled at his own blunder.

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Despite his mother’s brooding, Dudman hadn’t been in any danger whatsoever. He had wandered off to an empty table, a good distance from the party in his efforts to kill time. Dudman placed his head on the table, he reached into his pocket for his journal, only to realize that he’d forgotten it at home. The sound of trotting broke the silence. What sat down across the table from him was a purple… ALICORN?! Dudmans head and ears both popped up, he had never seen an alicorn before, well… not in person at least. Dudman had read and learned about them in school, but… as far as he could recall, there were only two: Luna and Celestia, and they were both Princesses.

‘Could she be another princess? Is it possible that our school books are that outdated? Or is she so new that it hasn’t been written about yet? Nevermind, our schools cheap anyway...’ Dudman thought to himself.

“Hi!” The alicorn said.

“Can I help you?” Dudman responded.

“How are you doing little one?” She asked.

“I’m fine. I don’t mean to sound rude, but can you please go away?”

“Why? You seem so lonely” She tilted her head, curious to see how the colt wounded up here all alone.

“I’m not lonely, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet. Now can you please leave me alone?”

“Doesn’t seem to me that you’re enjoying yourself, and I’d like to think I’m a pretty good judge on the matter. Can I ask your name?”

“It’s Dudman, and I’ve already asked you two times to leave me be…” Dudmans voice was getting a bit more stubborn, he wasn’t fond of repeating himself. He assumed that ponies were smart enough to get the idea the first time they were told something.

The alicorn ignored Dudmans request, instead, she decided to tell him who SHE was. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Dudman. I’m Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship!”

“Heh, like that exists.” Dudman crossed his forelegs. She was an alicorn, yes, but perhaps she wasn’t a smart one...

The alicorn stood in shock. She’d never heard somepony say that friendship didn’t exist. Even the most vile villains in Equestria acknowledged its existence! Yet here it was a young colt, saying exactly that. Something was definitely wrong here. “Wh-what are you saying? What do you mean friendship doesn’t exist?” Twilight went from completely calm and happy, to worried. She couldn’t let that idea take root in such a young colt’s mind!

“It just doesn’t, it’s nothing more than a waste of time. I prefer to be alone, and that’s just how I am.”

“Why would you say such a thing? Friendship has saved our people numerous times, it brings us together in times of crisis, it even-”

“I don’t CARE! I’ve made the choice not to trust anypony, not you, not my parents, no one.”

“But… Why?” Twilight asked. She was so confused…

“Ponies change. The pony you know more than anypony else in the world may be completely unrecognizable the next time you see them. What if he or she isn’t what they seem? What if they change so much that they don’t care about you anymore? That's why I don't trust anypony. It leaves you open to being hurt. I don’t even trust myself half the time…” The seriousness of his words were almost grim.

“Not even yourself? How can anypony live like that?” Suddenly Twilight got an idea, a perfect way to change this colts mind! She smiled “How about I teach you what friendship is all about? It’ll be great! We can sit down and chat, I’ll invite some of my other students over and- Oh! I’ll even bring-”

“No thanks! I'm going to ask you ONE LAST TIME: Please, LEAVE me to my OWN DEVICES YOU INCESSANT ANNOYING PONY!”

“But…. But I-” For once, Twilight was speechless.

Dudman placed his head on the table, clearly done with the conversation.

“You're missing the point Dudman…” Twilight frowned, her horn glowed pink as she used her magic to write something on a scrap piece of parchment. “If you reconsider… Here’s my address…” She trotted away slowly, not used to being shut down so hard. ‘I really hope he gets his head on straight soon… otherwise…’ It wasn’t long until she was out of sight.

Dudman lifted his head up again. She was gone. He noticed the card placed on the table and took a quick peek, then he threw it to the wind. ‘Finally she’s gone… Oh great, now I feel guilty…’ Dudman didn’t really mean to have an attitude with Twilight, he just wanted to be left alone, and she just wasn’t listening. Which of course, upset him, and when he was upset, he couldn’t simply stay quiet.

Suddenly, Dudmans tuxedo pocket glowed red. It was... the gemstone again? It flew right out of Dudmans pocket! The strange object darted around the clearing, leaving red trails of light in its path, whizzing and zipping around the clearing until it finally made up its mind, flying through the bushes that lead to the nearby forest. Dudman couldn’t believe his eyes, but chased after it anyways. “Hey wait! Where are you going!?”

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Meanwhile…

Twilight continued her pattern of trotting, she wasn’t very happy about the colts words. However, it’s good that she wasn’t alone. A young purple dragon with green spikes came up to her, noticing her brooding. “What’s the matter Twilight?” Spike asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it Spike…” Twilight said looking down. ‘Maybe… maybe I'll grab some cider too…’

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Crystal went pony to pony, stand after stand, and she received no luck on finding Dudman. Steve had his efforts of course, but unfortunately, he couldn’t find the colt either. They were supposed to be relaxing, not panicking. Crystal went to another pony and asked the same question she asked for the millionth time. “Sir, have you seen a colt with a blue coat, brown mane, and black tuxedo?” The stallion shook his head no, but gave a suggestive grin.

“But I see something I DO like. A beautiful unicorn, clearly in need of some help with stress relief. What say you and I ditch the party, maybe go out to dinner?”

Crystal’s eye twitched at the stallions request. Her response was a sharp backhoof. “I'M MARRIED!” The stallion fell to the ground. For once, Crystal didn’t care that she was making a scene in public. It didn’t seem that anypony else cared either, some stared at the fallen stallion, some giggled at his obvious failure, but most of all, no one blamed the mare for standing up for her relationship. She would never leave Steve, and neither would he. Even if they occasionally fought, nopony could question they were very loyal to each other. Crystal mumbled angrily, she could never imagine tolerating that nonsense. While trotting she kept asking the same question: “Hello, have you seen a colt with a blue coat, brown mane, and black tuxedo?”

“I'm sorry, but I haven’t” The mare responded.

“Oh ok, thank you-” Crystal stopped in her tracks, the mare had similarities to the description that Applebloom gave earlier. The words came back to her: ‘Purple coat, pink mane, flower cutie mark?’ It was clearly Cheerilee. “Wait” Crystal turned her attention back to the mare. “You’re Miss Cheerilee, correct?”

“Yes, that's me.” The mare smiled warmly, clearly ready to help.

“May I ask you a favor?”

“Of course! What can I help you with miss?”

“It’s Crystal.”

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Dudman followed the gem as it flew. The bright flash back at home was one thing, but this is completely paranormal! The gem finally eased up and tumbled out of the air, landing on the ground beside a gigantic tree. Dudman was eventually able to catch up to it, giving himself a moment to catch his breath. He trotted towards the stone, only to be stopped in his tracks by somepony… or something... hanging from a branch like some kind of bat. The mysterious creature was wearing a black robe, fangs showing at the corners of its mouth. Dudman remembered back in school where he learned about different types of pony species in science class, two of which had similar appearances, but Celestia help you if you mistook one for the other... “Bat” ponies and “Vamponies”. The definitions were straight forward, a Bat ponies diet consists mainly of fruit, but a Vamponies diet consists of blood, preferably from living targets, the fresher the better. Both types were reclusive, knowing that few ponies, and even fewer places would allow them to roam freely without spreading panic, however Vamponies were FAR more aggressive. If you see one, you’d better hope it hasn’t seen you too, otherwise, you were fair game, and possibly on the menu. Most said that Vamponies were just a legend. A Myth. That they never existed. If Dudman had to take a guess based on what he was seeing now, he’d certainly say that most were wrong. What he was looking at most DEFINITELY didn’t smell like fruit.

The figure parted its cloak just enough for him to see its eyes. “Hello Dudman.” The strange creatures accent had a demonic and menacing tone, which was more terrifying more so than it’s appearance.

“H-hi?” Dudman was wide-eyed as he picked up the stone with his magic. He didn’t mean to let his fear slip into his greeting, but it was difficult not to. ‘Great, another resident nutjob of Ponyville.’ Dudman thought.

The creature... knew his name?! How in Equestria did it know that? Dudman was terrified but skeptical at the same time. ‘Is Ponyville just FILLED with mind readers?! I hope not…’ He glared at the gemstone. ‘I’m starting to think YOU have something to do with this.’

“What’s that you got there?” The creature asked, grinning from tooth to needlepointed tooth.

Dudman was almost too terrified to answer, “I-it’s… it’s something I found in my attic. I’m quite fond of it actually.” Dudman wasn’t fond of lying, but whatever got him away from this potentially dangerous creature was the course of action he’d have to take.

“Oh really?” The figure dropped from the branch, its cloak-no, WINGS unfurling to break its fall. “I don’t suppose you’d mind if I... took a quick look at it?” It said, still smiling in a very unsettling way.

“Umm… No. I’m uh- gonna go now. Very nice to meet you though.” Dudman turned around and walked a few steps away. In a flurry of wings and wind, the creature had bolted in front of him again.

“MORTAL I SWEAR I’ll-” It stopped and regained its composure. “Ahem. What I MEANT to say was that I swear I’ll give it back to you.” He bowed politely, and yet was still somehow menacing.

“I said no- Hey!” The creature snatched the stone from Dudmans magic with a magic of its own! It HAD to be a unicorn right? Or was this a unicorn in a costume?

The creature took a close look at it “Hmm very nice… very nice indeed. I’ll be taking this off your hooves now, child.”

Dudman snatched it back “No. I’m keeping it thank you very much.” Dudman was aggravated now. It was one thing if it actually had been a vampony, but a unicorn pretending to be one for kicks? And now it was trying to STEAL from him?! Dudman was focusing on a spell he had learned from the swordsmith, teleportation. It was good for finding materials that were out of sight, but at this moment, he was focused on his sword.

“You don’t NEED it. And besides, you wouldn’t even know what to DO with it.”

Dudman jerked his magic hard, prying the gem from the grip of the Vamponies magic and slipped it into his pocket. His teleportation spell was almost done charging.

The mysterious creature growled, low and angry. “I’m DONE asking politely!” This colt wasn’t doing what it was demanding. It needed that stone somehow, but the colt wouldn’t give it up, it had a few other options, but it’s patience had worn out. A crossbow levitated from under the creatures cloak, pointed it at Dudman, aiming it between his eyes. “I was being VERY polite to you! I Tried, I DID, now I’m DONE playing GAMES. Give me the gemstone and I won’t have to peg your brain!” Dudman froze. He knew what a fake crossbow looked like, and this wasn’t one of them. This couldn’t be the end... he couldn’t afford to die right now, there were too many questions he needed answered!

“Y-you wouldn’t...” Dudman stepped back, losing grip on the fear in his voice. “I-I can’t let you-”

A crossbow bolt flew past his ear, only inches away, and before Dudman could blink, another was loaded. Dudman knew, this was a practiced routine.

“Try me kid. Just try me. I don’t miss twice.”

Dudman was grasping at anything he could to get away. ‘What are my options besides giving him the stone?! Run? No… He could hit me three times before I get behind the nearest tree… fight? That's a joke waiting to happen… I… I… don’t have any other choice…’ Dudman pulled the gemstone out of his pocket with his hoof and held it towards the creature. ‘Why… why am I so tired all of a sudden?… Wait… the teleportation spe-!!!’ At that moment the gemstone flared up again, light blasting out in all directions! The creature threw its wings over its eyes, crying out in pain from the burning light. “The light! The light!”

The next few moments happened in slow motion for Dudman, his vision was severely distorted. The crossbow tensed. The bolt fired. He saw it coming closer and closer. ‘Well… This is a major disappointment… And here I thought the gem had just saved-’ His thoughts were cut off by a loud, “POP”, as his sword materialized out of nowhere, just in time to deflect the bolt away from his head and-

“AHH!” Dudman collapsed to the ground, as the previously fatal bolt pierced his right foreleg. It was bleeding. But he was alive.

The creatures bat like wings unfurled again as it screeched off into the night, still in pain from the blinding light that the gemstone had put out. Dudman watched as the creature flew away, having forgotten about the stone in its pain. Although from his final view, it seemed that the strange creature was about his size now did he thought about it. Grabbing his right foreleg he groaned at the intense pain. He screamed in his head, it was the most painful thing he had ever experienced. The stone was sitting there on the ground. Had he won? Was it Over? Could he even walk right now? So many more questions that needed answering. Dudman was breathing heavily, tearing up “I… can’t afford.. to let mom see this...” He used his magic to pull out the bolt, lucky it wasn’t barbed. He teared his sleeve where the blood had already set and used his hoofkerchief to tie off the wound. He grabbed the stone with his magic and tucked it back into his tuxedo. He hadn’t gone so far from the party so it wouldn’t take long to get back, but he knew his leg was out of commission​ for a while. Using his sword, with its freshly scratched sheath, as a crutch to get back to party grounds. Once back at the party, he held himself up with magic, not to raise suspicion of him being injured. It was dark enough that nopony would notice the blood on his arm unless they were REALLY looking. Dudman was in pain, that was for sure, so much pain, in fact, that he hadn’t even realized who he had bumped into until she was glaring down at him. He flattened his ears and looked up, it was his mother twitching in anger. Dudman knew he was in trouble for wandering off, but better off being in trouble than dead right?

“Where have you been?!” Crystal scolded. He knew this was anger as a result of panic rather than actually being mad, but anger was still anger.

Dudman hugged his mother in response, he was very happy to see her after the horrid experience he had. Crystal didn’t know how to respond to the sudden embrace. She was too happy to see that she was OK to punish him! Crystal hadn’t gotten a hug from Dudman in… years. Her anger ebbed away, and she smiled knowing that he was ok.

“Ohhhhh fine… Since you’re obviously sorry for running off, I’ll let it slide… this time… Come on sweetie, we have an application to fill.”

Cheerilee was nice enough to provide the application for Dudmans education. For some reason, she had one on hoof at the party, almost like somepony had tipped her off that they were going to need it, possibly… a bouncy pink somepony? They filled in the necessary paperwork for Dudman to start school the next week, giving him time to adjust to his new life in Ponyville. It was getting late, the couple thanked Pinkie Pie for everything and headed home. Dudman couldn’t sleep that night, not because of his wound, but because he was scared that the creature would come back. Was the stone giving him bad luck? Did it have a mind of it’s own? What in Equestria was going on with it? And who was that mysterious creature? Too many questions without any answers… Dudman hated leaving questions unanswered, but what would these answers cost him?

--- End of Chapter 1---