Quiet.
If this day could be described in one word, it would be quiet.
The sky was completely clear, save for a few wispy clouds that the Weather Patrol missed their first time around. The sun was beaming down, not uncomfortably hot, but just enough to remind you of its presence. The blue of the sky was perhaps the purest blue it has been in ages.
As one pony might say: everything was perfect, cheer was filling up the place | And I saw that everypony had a smile upon their face.
And it was true.
This was one of the happiest days in a long time. The Elements were resonating with their bearers, no ponies were going through heartbreak or anger… Even Princess Celestia rose the sun with a spring in her step.
Truly, this was a perfect day. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?
It was a perfect day… and I intended on keeping it like that.
For those of you unfamiliar with me (all zero of you), allow me to introduce myself. I am the reason this story exists. I am the savior and/or destroyer of worlds. I am the bringer of fun.
I am… Discord.
...Hmm. Perhaps my introduction gave you the wrong idea. I'm NOT a good guy. Well, I wasn't a good guy, at this time. Technically I couldn't be any guy, since I was encased in stone. Perhaps I could be that one guy that everyone takes for granite, if I truly wanted to be. In fact, I accept. The title is mine. Hey, don't look at me like I've hit rock bottom! You have to admit, these puns are igneous!
"Discord, jus' stop. Yer puns are bad and ya should feel bad."
Right, right, I apologize. I need to focus before all my memory of the story erodes away! ...Okay, I'm done. Now, as I said, I was encased in stone. So, all of this story is from what Screwball told me. She might have missed a few details here and there, and perhaps deliberately withheld others, but I'm sure it won't change the story too much. Button? Sweetie? If I make any mistakes, be sure to correct me, hmm? Very good.
So, from what I was told, it was a beautiful day out. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and kids like Button were torturing themselves trying to get a perfect score on Pac-Mare. Fun times. Anyway, Button had quite the crowd watching. I understand you're quite the hero in the gaming community... Even more so now that these rumors of you saving the world with video games came out. Yes, rumors. They don't know for sure yet. If I wasn't a part of this, I would say it seems unlikely and they shouldn't believe it. ...Then again, this is Equestria. Epic quests and monster attacks are just Tuesdays.
For those of you who don't know, to get a perfect score in Pac-Mare, you have to get every fruit and/or key, eat every ghost with every Power Pellet you get, and then eat every pellet on screen. If you get hit once, you're done. Out. It's incredibly evil and cruel. I'm so proud of the developers. Anyway, continue this stratagem for 255 levels. Then, on the 256th level, the right side will be glitched. Eat all the pellets on the left, and all the glitched pellets on the right. All nine of them, scattered in different places. If you don't know where they are, good luck. After that, run into a ghost. No, I'm not kidding. Doing that will cause you to respawn and for some reason reload all the pellets on the right side. Keep doing this until you run out of lives. If you end with a score of 3,333,360, you did it right.
Of course, if you get hit once, you have to scream really loudly, bang your head against the game and unplug the machine. These are all absolutely required in the Button Mash Perfect Pac Regime. ...What? Don't look at me like that! You do it every time you get hit, so I assumed it was required.
On the subject of getting hit, it didn't happen next game. Yep, he got to level 256. Honestly, once you get there, you pretty much win. Half of the ghosts will be bumbling around on the right side, not knowing where to go or what to do. They were never coded with the glitch in mind. Then, move around the right side and get the nine glitch pellets. A pretty easy task, if you know where they are. Rinse and repeat. Easy. Seriously, the only way he could lose at this point was if he purposefully stopped before he got the final pellet to save a complete stranger from a group of bullies.
...Needless to say, he lost. 3,333,350. That was painful to learn. Although, I suppose it was for a good reason. I'd do the same if Fluttershy were cornered by a group of Diamond Dogs or anything like that.
This was actually how Button met Sweetie, you know. Came to her aid like a knight in shining armor. ...Well, more like an assassin with a tongue of blade. Seriously, Button. Those things you said? They hurt me, and they were addressed to somepony else and I was hearing it from proxy!
Oh, right. Who he was saving Sweetie from. *Ahem* Button saved Sweetie from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. They were doing their little 'oh, I'm so cool and I'm walking circles around you' schtick. Although, they were taking a much different approach than usual. Instead of focusing on her Cutie Mark (or lack thereof), they were looking at personal matters. More importantly, love.
Now, by 'love' I don't mean just romance. I mean the bonds between ponies. Romantic love, platonic love, familial love... Those things. They actually had the nerve to call her the 'charity case' of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, or 'that farmer and that chicken.' Th-
"SHE CALLED ME A CHICKEN AGAIN!? LEAD ME TO HER, I'M MAKING DIAMOND SOUP TONIGHT!"
Scootaloo, I can understand you being angry, but this was in the past. Plus, it's nowhere near the first time she did it. If you asked her why she called you a chicken that one time, she'll say you have to be a little more specific.
So, there they were. Making fun of Sweetie Belle, making her cry, telling her her sister is probably paid by her parents to spend time with her, suggesting she pay Snips and Snails to hang out with her... And then Button Mash happened.
No, really. That's the best way to describe it. Button came up and told them off, and they left. I think he said something along the lines of "who died and made you queens of the world?" Ouch. Well done, but still ouch. To be honest, it's probably best that they turned tails and ran before Button was finished. You were savage, seriously.
Anyway, he muttered "I will slay you, she-devils" in Humgonian- don't look at me like that, Button; of course I know Humgonian, I invented Humgonian- and helped Sweetie up. They had a nice and completely uneventful conversation which ended in Button giving Sweetie Belle a two hour lecture on all things video game, from the origin, to the internal circuity, to how most games are made by unicorns and the ones by Earth ponies are generally lower-budget but not lower-quality, to the hottest games out today, blah blah de blah. I'm surprised Sweetie's ears didn't fall off.
Once he was finally finished, she ran off and dragged her sister and the rest of you- not you, Spike and Button, I mean the other Crusaders- to the store. On the way, I believe there was a certain argument about who was the coolest pony in Ponyville, hmm? Naughty fillies, arguing between Rainbow and Applejack. Fluttershy is obviously best pony.
Anyway, once they arrived, Sweetie Belle immediately beelined for... Was it Super Bash Pegasisters Brawl?
"...That was an intentional reference, wasn't it?"
Of course it was, Button. What do you take me for, a filthy casual? I know it was Smash Bronies. ...*Ahem* Back to the story. She was about to purchase it and a JoyBoy, but Button saved her again. This time, from a potential scam. Neon Lights, the new cashier, would have taken the game and the JoyBoy, even though he knew Brawl was for the JoyToy. Thankfully, Button called him out on it. He then paid for her game and saved a bunch of bits in the process, by getting the combo instead of purchasing everything individually. Now, I could tell you how he knew... But I won't. You're welcome, Button.
After that, he left and, well, all chaos descended on poor Sweetie Belle. Turns out the ponies at the store are quite the fanbase of his, and they wanted to ask Sweetie Belle how she got him to pay attention to her. I'll explain that later. For now, all that mattered was that he had left the store.
Meanwhile... A pair of eyes, spinning in a way that eyes were decidedly not supposed to spin, watched Button from a nearby bush. She had watched him generously pay for the fillies game himself, and watched him defend her from Neon Lights and his scams, fighting for honesty. Her mind flashed back to him loyally defending her from the two local bullies, even though he had never met her. A little further back, and she saw him playing Pac-Mare. She noted the firey determination in his eyes, mixed with the laughter he felt inside from what he enjoyed most... And then his kindness give it up to help somepony in need. There was no doubt about it; he was the one.
"Uhh, Discord? What's with the spooky voice?"
Oh, don't worry. I just want to drum up the tension a bit. After all, this is the part where the story begins to become worthy of an Adventure tag! Up until now, it's just been a Slife of Life, and I don't see a tag for that, now do I?
"Yer startin' to sound like Pinkie, Discord. Might wanna get that checked out. Jus' sayin'."
Oh, nonsense. Nothing wrong with a little pink every now and then. Now, where was I...? Ah, yes. *Ahem*
Nodding in reassurance to herself, the Earth pony floated up, traveling toward Canterlot to tell me of the news. Equestria's newest hero had been chosen.