The Black Mask Brothers

by Alex Rite

The "Calm" After the Storm

Around morning came along, but I woke up from bed. No, not in our mansion, but in a hospital. And in that hospital...

Goldielocks was just yapping her mouth off.

"I mean, C'MON!! I was so close!! I mean- can you even believe this?! Every single damn time I find those criminals they take off. Damnit!" She yelled furiously.

Alex was listening to her while I...

I had problems of my own.

"FUCK." I yelled through my now-perfect white teeth. The nurse rolled her eyes. "Maybe if you hadn't done those stunts with your pal here, in the middle of the night, might I add, you wouldn't be in this predicament." She said.

I groaned. "Yeah yeah yeah. Just...careful with the wings, will ya?" I asked. Her response was a quick snap of the wing which made an instant squeal of manly pride come out through my mouth. "Sure." She replied.

"Fucking...asshole." I said. After Goldy yelling like a teenage filly and the nurse leaving me to my own pain, Goldy decided to check on us both...finally.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, but what went through your minds to pull a stunt in the middle of the night?" She asked. We looked at each other like stooges.

"We...wanted to impress someone." We both said.

Goldy raised a skeptical brow. "And that would be...?" She trailed off. This bugged me more than anyone else.

"Rain...bow Dash." I gave up after that.

Alex tried, but the fucker woosed out. Goldy sighed. "Boys. I'll never understand you. Anyway, you two heard the name Scarlet Rose?" She asked.

That caught both of our attentions. "I don't, but Alex seems to, yeah." I say, him giving off a nod.

Goldy rubbed her muzzle before continuing. "We found her unconcious, beaten at best. Thank Celestia. She was drunk off of power. The two thieves thought it was a bright idea to attack her. Unfortunately for them, the brothers left a bit of blood. It won't be long before we find out who's blood it is, so we can track them down." She says.

Scary, but worried about something else. "Heard she went insane. How this happen?" Alex asked.

"Probably off the Alicorn Amulet. She was wearing it before she disappeared at the Gala. Suffice to say, this may have caused her to gone loopy. But the Vendetta still have the amulet, so we're not sure why they still have it if they can't control it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but we might have to let this one slide." She said.

"How come? They're suppose to be caught right. The two thieves?" I asked.

"Y-yeah," she hesitated, but continued. "But they do seem to have knowledge on their whereabouts. So...until noise pops up, we can't do anything about it." She said.

Good news...but the blood is bad news. Ah well, up to Alex now.

After Gold Heart left, I turned to Baws, who was looking worried. Quickly realising what was wrong, I said, "Don't worry about the blood thing, bro, I'm totally fine, and the worst you got were bumps and bruises."

"Then whose blood is it, then?" he asked.

"I dunno, Scarlet Rose? Good chance, since... well... you know how I am when I get really angry."

Baws nodded, remembering the other times of my "Dragon Fury" as he liked to call it. It usually only happens if someone I care about gets hurt, or on the rare occasion that somepony just does everything in their power to piss me off. It was some intense stuff, sometimes I'd even black out for a bit and let my draconic instincts take over. I've never killed anyone, thank Celestia, but I've left them pretty beat up.

Looking at my brother, I saw he had an annoyed look on his face.

"So... Goldilocks' mother is a Vendetta." he said, stating it as an agrivating fact rather than a question.

Ah shit.

"Yeah...jeez man. She's nice but...nice-evil." Alex tried to come up with a better description, but didn't do so well.

"That's not what I'm worried about." I told him. "I'm worried about how she knows you. She doesn't know me all that much. Saw right through your's, but not mine. So, she's getting our whereabouts through Goldilocks, since she speaks highly of you."

Alex looked a bit more worried than before, but he was also talking about something else. "Damn. What I'm worried about is the fact she left her daughter alone. She's a tough nut, so why didn't Gold Armor just force her into the Vendetta?" He asked.

"'Cause she's a loud mouth. She'll one day spill the beans by total accident. So instead of using it for a con, she used it for a pro." I explain.

"So...the Vendetta know where we are, gets information from her daughter, and is a powerful opponent."

"And that's just one of the special ponies. Hell, if theirs a tougher opponent than that, Celestia be damned."

We both sighed out of frustration. Theirs nothing we can do about it now. "...You know what? Tomorrow, we'll question Gold Heart about Scarlet. Ready?" He asked.

I nodded. "Anything to get out of this hellhole" I said.

The next day, I went to work as usual, only this time, Baws was with me. When Gold Heart asked why he was with me, I told her he had the day off today and felt like helping me out, which was half true. He did want to help out with the interogation.

"Dude, you are so lucky you got Dash to cover for you." I told him.

"Like your marefriend's never covered for you." he shot back.

"Boys!" said Gold Heart, catching our attention. "As I was saying, we haven't been able to get much out of Scarlet Rose, she's gone completely nuts... However, she does keep muttering the name Beatrice Longhorn."

"You mean the the minotaur chick who owns the Longhorn Casino in Las Pegasus?" Baws asked. "Is she a known criminal?"

"Not that we know of, but there have been rumors."

"Such as?" I inquired.

Gold Heart motioned us to come in closer and whispered, "Now, they're only rumors, but the police have heard that she may secretly be a collector of rare artifacts, many of which may even have been stolen. But the problem is, there's no proof."

"That's all we got?" I asked, breaking out of our huddle.

"That's all we got." She confirmed. "Unless of course you know somepony who can find out more than the entire Equestrian Police Force could."

Baws and I shared a glance and grinned.

I think we know a guy.

We said our goodbye's and rushed home.

"SPARK! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" I yelled. At first it was quiet, but he stumbled down the stairs.

"Hmm? What do ya want?" He asked.

"We got ourselves a lead," I told him quickly. "Beatrice Longhorn, casino owner, Las Pegasus."

"Hm. Good work. I'll get to looking. But, uh... Shouldn't both of you be at work right now?"

My eyes widened in shock. "OH SHIT!!!"

I quickly ran back to work, hoping no one had noticed I'd left.

I looked back at him. "Nah. RD got me covered for today. We're just adding color to the Rainbows anyway." I said.

"And what do you have to do for her?" Spark asked. Wasn't long before we heard a 'Bye! See ya guys' and a door slamming.

"Just clean her house, not all that bad." I said. He just liked at me with skeptism.

"How the hell do you keep your job?" He asked. It...sounded like a question anyway.

"I just do some dirty work for the boss. Usually takes all night." I said.

He snickers before saying, "Isn't your Rainbow Factory boss a guy?"

Right then and there, I knew what he meant. That sly bastard.

"You fuck." My mouth answers before I can process it.

He went from snickering to laughter. "Brilliant. That was almost to quick." He said.

"She says to you with disappointment." I comeback. He stopped, and looked at me.

"...Bastard." He said.

Now it was my turn to give a laugh.

Back at work, I was thankful to find that no one had noticed my absence. Getting back to the usual work, it was around close to lunch when Gold Heart came up to me, looking a little nervous, which surprised me since Goldie is the most calm and collected mare I know.

"So, uh... Alex..." she said to me, her voice catching a bit.

"What's up, Goldie?" I asked.

"Well, um... I know that we've, uh, always been good friends, and I... I..." Gold Heart straightened herself up and look me directly in the eyes. "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go to dinner with me tonight."

I had a double take. "Dinner? You? Me? You mean, like... like a date?"

Gold Heart began to blush as she replied, "Yeah, like a date."

At that point, I froze up. My mind kept going, 'say something, idiot, don't just stand there!'

"I, uh, I love yo- TO! I'd love to. Yeah. Totally what I said. Just now." Shut up shut up shut up shut up!

Gold Heart, either not noticing my blunder or not caring, replied, "Great! I'll uh... see you at eight?"

Just then, I noticed that it was time for lunch.

"Yeah, eight sounds good." I said before going off to my usual lunch spot in Cloudsdale. Wait till Baws hears about this!

...Should probably leave out the part where I acted like an idiot.

Grabbing Pastel, and Dash finishing her crap-work, we head out way to the ice cream parlor. "Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah." I started

"She, she-she-she-she she she she-she." Pastel went along.

"Mah mah mah mah mah mah!" Rainbow had her head upside down doing that..

This...this was familiar. When we finally reached the store, Rainbow stopped us. "Woah, woah, hold on you guys." She stopped the noise train.

"Yeah?" I asked.

She pointed past me. "Is that...Alex and Goldie?" She asked. I didn't even need to turn around to figure out this was happening. Pastel giggled however. "Let's go catch them!" She said.

"...Sure, why not." I said.

I opened the door like a gentlecolt and followed Goldie inside the ice cream parlor. It was a small place, but not to shabby. I also frequented the place, so the staff knew me pretty well here.

"Wow. An ice cream parlor. Not too bad, Alex." said Gold Heart.

"Well, since this is only our first date, I figured I'd start us off simple- some ice cream, then maybe a nice walk in the park. Classic."

"Oh, done this before, have you?" Gold Heart replied with a grin.

"Nope! Never. This is honestly my very first date." I said. Meanwhile I was thinking to myself again that I really needed to shut up.

Gold Heart laughed as we sat down at our table. "Really? But you're such a suave gentlecolt. Surely you've caught the eye of some other mare before?"

"Oh I have," I said jokingly. "And that's usually when they run away screaming 'dragon!'. Not exactly good for a Colt's self esteem, but I've gotten used to it."

"Well that's not fair." said Gold Heart, pouting. Damn, that looked cute. "Those ponies clearly are too simple minded. But hey, if they didn't want to get to know you, that's their problem. Just leaves you more time to spend with your real friends."

"Like you?" I said.

"Yeah. Like me." she smiled.

The three of us walk in to the parlor, Pastel practically screaming each flavor to the highest of order. "Wanna we pick a flavor?" Rainbow asked.

"Operation: Fuck with Alex is a go, right?" I whispered.

"Oh yeah." Rainbow came back confidently. I looked to my right to see Alex and Goldie sitting together. Unfortunately for him he saw me.

We stared for a long while before my smile grew. It didn't take long for Alex to get the whole concept. I can almost hear him mentally scream, Oooooohhh Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

As soon as I saw Baws enter the parlor, I knew he'd find some some way to try and screw with me on my date, but for now, I figured it was best not to focus on them.

"So Goldie," I said, "I was kinda wondering, what brought about this sudden urge to ask me out on a date?"

She blushed. "Well... t-to be honest with you Alex, I've kind of always liked you. But, I was always a little nervous about telling you, until your friend Winter told me you liked me."

"Wait what?!" I said. "When did this happen?!"

"When we were fixing his house and you were busy dealing with that crazy sister of yours. By the way, how are you related to Pinkie Pie again?"

"Adopted." I replied, more focused on the fact that my bro had actually hooked me up with the mare of my dreams. I'd have to thank him later. That is, after I keep him from ruining the date himself.

We sat down two table away from them, the waiter giving us our sundaes. "Now, how are we gonna get him?" I asked myself.

"Hm-mhmm." She shrugged, drinking her sundae at top speed. Rainbow started to slurp hers, but I didn't drink mine's. When Rainbow finished, she gave a wicked smile.

"Well, it ain't easy tricking you, so I doubt Alex would be easy. Though, the carnival is in town, so this should we should plan there. I know Pinkie will be there to hook us up." She said.

"Yeah...you come to this parlor a lot, huh?" I randomly asked.

Rainbow looked at me in a confused manner. "Well, yeah. Me and my other friends would come here often." She said.

"And you know what each ice cream looks like?" I asked. She farted out of her mouth. "Pfft, yeah. Pinkie wouldn't stop talking about it." She said.

"So...the hell are you drinking?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" She looked at her sundae. The ice cream was blue sprinkled with red sprinkles. However, on closer inspection, they weren't ordinary. They were--

"HOT!" Pastel screamed at the ceiling. "HOT! OWIE! OW!"

If I was a bit more quicker on what they were drinking, I probably would've stopped them. What's even worse is that Pastel's tongue is heat sensitive, so it made her life worse than Rainbow's.

Regardless, the chair fell backwards from how quickly I got up, and I immediately went to the cashier. "Ice Cold Blueberry Sweets, NOW!" I almost yelled at the poor pony.

He quickly nodded, and took a ridiculously huge scoop (consider it illegal) and passed it to me. My brothely instinct kicked in, and with my clean purple spoon, I took a scoop and flung it at Pastel's burning mouth. "AHHHHHH--Mfhm?!" It quickly shut Pastel up, and with given time, she started to calm down.

Rainbow was in the same predicament, but she was more immune to it. She was still screaming, though. I lazily shot the next scoop at Rainbow, but it was a shorter for the heat to go away than Pastel's. I looked at Alex, his shit eating smile was there.

I then gave him the big brother 'you're fucked' face. His ears drooped. Get ready asshole, Big Brother Winter broke loose.

Well, that was not as well thought out as I had hoped. But hey, it's his own fault thinking he could spy on me during my date. And unfortunately for Baws, I had a secret weapon even I didn't know about.

"Spicy pepper sprinkles. Nice work." said Goldie. "Though I would have also gone with something that would have turned their tongues black."

I raised an eyebrow at my scarlet-coated date. "You're a prankster? Never woulda thought it."

"Oh, you have no idea, Alex. And knowing your brother, I doubt he's gonna let that slide. What do you say we give him a taste of what a real prank king and queen can do?"

I am so in love with her right now.

Pastel walked up to me, her tongue sore and swollen. "Winther, I thanth thatch lith thith" She tried to say, but every time she would, a bit of spit would come out.

All I got was my name. "Uh..." Well shit.

"She said she can't talk like this. Should we...?" Rainbow waved her hoof in a circle.

I gave a nod. "Hospital? Yeah. Ask if they know the name of Nurse Aid. If she isn't there, then Doctor Surgeon. Her tongue will uh...burst if they take to long. The procedure shouldn't take long. About an hour." I said.

Rainbow nodded, and she quickly took off with Pastel. I gave a cold glare at Alex. So cold, in fact, that his ice cream suddenly became an ice cube. "I will give you to the count of three. After that, I'm coming to prank you until your pubically humiliated. One..."

"Wait...this a joke right? No hard feelings?" Alex asked, a nervous smile appearing

"Two..." You can feel the temperature drop and the humidity began to become thicker with cold air.

Run, bitch, run.

Thinking quickly, I shoved my ice cream in his face and shouted run, to which Goldie promptly followed through with.

"Sweet Celestia, why is he so mad?!" asked Gold Heart.

"I guess Paz can't do spicy foods?" I replied. "It's his own damn fault though- he spied on us, and he knew I knew about the spicy sprinkles, I'm honestly surprised he didn't see it coming!"

"Well, looks like we've started a prank war. Any ideas on how not to get our flanks pranked to death?"

"Well, I hear the carnival's in town, and where there's fun-"

"There's Pinkie Pie." stated Goldie.

"And her unlimited prank resources." I concured.

The cubed ice cream simply broke when it made contact with my face. Now...what shall I do to torment my subjects? My brain quickly thought of a plan, and millions others. I simply smiled.

I walked out of the store, Alex and Goldie still discussing. When they saw me, they clearly saw how pissed I was. "Fuck. Run!" Alex said, only tripping a wire so thin you can only see it in the damn shade.

He fell foward, and his ass in the perfect position to set up the trap. I looked to my right, to see a small note and a marker. "Get 'em! Get 'em!" -RD

"Oh my Celestia." chuckling like a mad man. She set this up while we were still in the Parlor. Gotta admit, she's fast. I grabbed the marker, and moving faster than I could process, drew a smile face with a tongue sticking out on his ass. With black, permanent marker. Gonna need some water to wash that face off, and even then it'll smudge.

I quickly backed up, Goldie picking Alex up in a hurry. "C'mon! He's coming!" She said. She seriously didn't see me write a smile on his ass? Holy shit I'm fast. But there's more to come.

"Shit shit shit!" He said. He quickly ran off, not knowing that other ponies around were trying to keep themselves from laughing to hard.

Too damn easy. Though, Rainbow's better at pranking than I am. Still, might as well watch the hilarity. If only Rainbow were here...

It only took me a moment to realize ponies were laughing at me, and even less time to recognize why.

"He drew on my flank, didn't he?" I said bemused. I knew I was right when Goldie tried to hold back a flood of giggles.

"Oh, he has gone too far!" I said, then turned to Goldie. "Goldie, I got a plan, but I need you to set it up while I distract Winter."

I told Gold Heart my plan, and she grew a maniacal grin that even I was proud of before running off to find my sister.

I lazily flew towards the two subjects within minutes, ponies laughing their asses at this point. He looked at me, a confident smile on his face. Not gonna lie, that threw me off. "Oi! What's with the smile newbie?" I asked.

"Nothing much. Just thought you need a drink." He said.

And then he pulled a water pistol with his tail holding the handle, and the end-tail on the trigger, he decided to shoot some water at me. Unfortunately, Brother Winter was engaged, so the water froze and hit me on impact. Little fucker. However, I still kept my smile.

"Your aiming it at the wrong place. Its better if you use it on your little buddy." I said.

Hey, regardless, it'll still be there; it'll just smudge on his scales. Probably gonna need a shower. A shade of red appeared on his muzzle, but continued anyway. "Your prank was pretty good. But you need to do a lot better before you become the King."

He shot one more time at me, but it painfully missed. "Oh trust me. I'll become Ki-AGH!" A form of ice hit me in the neck. "YOU'RE ON FUCKER!!" I yelled.

And thus began the chase around Ponyville. As the chase went on, ponies laughed at the smile on his ass. But it took me a while before I caught up to him, or so I thought. The fucker decided to hide under a tree.

"Found you!" I said.

I tackled Alex, but what kind of pony-dragon sound like cardboard?

"The fuck?!"

"NOW!!" Screamed a voice.

"Gah!...fuck."

With Baws falling for my fake Alex distraction, he quickly found himself hanging upside down from the tree with ropes too strong for him to break- compliments of Pinkie Pie.

But this prank was far from over.

"Goldie! The hose!" I said.

Gold Heart came out of the bushes with a hose, and sprayed down Baws until he was soking wet, then, as an afterthought, also gave a good spray to my flank. May have only made the ink smudge, but at least it didn't look like a fucking face anymore.

Where was I? Oh, right.

"Pinkie! The flour!"

Pinkie, who had been hiding in the leaves of the tree, suddenly sprang out and dumped flour all over the soaked colt, which quickly combined with the water to make glue.

"Now it's my turn."

I moved out of the way to show a surprised Baws what was behind me- my sister's infamous party cannon. With one simple pull of a string, my friend was covered head to hoof in white feathers, with an orange cone on his nose and a red rubber glove on his head. Some ponies would ask how the cannon could be so precise, but I find it best to just roll with it. After all, the thing was made by Pinkie Pie.

I can already tell what I look like. Damnit. Breaking out of these ropes may be a bit to much. Alex came up with a mild, but nervous expression. "Winter, I'm really sorry that I hurt Pastel. If I knew that she couldn't handle spicy foods, I wouldn't have given it to her. But, how about we stop this silly game, and call a truce?" He said.

While I sorta accept his apology, theirs still two things. One, its 2-1, not fair yet. And two, it wasn't easy, but I found a thick wire behind him. Jeez Rainbow, since when did you do this? Trying to hold back on the smile, I blaintly lie to him. "Dude, theirs a bit of feather in my eyes. Back up a bit." I said.

He fell for it easy. He took a step back, only to be in thr same predicament as me. Only, things got worst for him. A school full of children walked out of the bushes, and so did RD and Pastel. "Told ya." RD said.

"And we get candy after this?" One of the children asked.

"Yup. Hit 'em hard you guys!" RD said. It literally took us four prankers (Me, Alex, Goldielocks, and Pinkie) a second to figure out what the hell she was talking about. Kids came out with giant rubber hammers, and the determinaton to beat the living hell out of Alex for that candy.

"...Well shit. Rainbow bested my 'smile-on-ass' trick." I said plainly.

"Hey, look, a giant cake!" I yelled, getting the attention of RD, Gold Heart, and the kids all at once. Then, while no one was looking, I turned into a shadow and slid out of my restraints, then back into a pony before anyone saw what I had done. Then I crossed my arms and gave those children a malevolent grin that showed off my sharp, shiny dragon teeth quite well.

"Now... what was that about beating me up for candy?" I growled darkly, getting a nice scared reaction from the kids, and even Rainbow herself.

"Uh... I just remembered!" said Dash. "I gotta go... help Twi organize her books! Bye!"

And with that, Rainbow Dash ran off, the kids following closely behind. I shot a grin at my brother.

"That's cheating." he said.

"All's fair in love and prank war," I said.

Baws just grumbled dissapointedly.

Lucky bastard.

"Anyway, you shouldn't apologize to me, but rather to Pastel. Then I'll forgive you." I said. He rolled his eyes, and came to untie me. Little did he know, I sorta...slid out already. The rope broke into small ice cubes, and blocking any air passage, blew off the feathers and glue with the ice. Took off the glove, with a confident smirk. "Ice ice baby." I said.

He became a grump. "Bastard." He said.

"All's fair in love and-BWAHAHAHAH!!" I started laughing uncontrollably. The face I drew on Alex's ass became droopy. Now it was a crying smiling face with small black trails falling on his leg. "Bruh, shower, now." I said.

A sudden giggle was heard, then the laughter of children uproared. Goldie and Pastel looked back and laughed, and Rainbow laughed even harder. Pinkie, she was crying with laughter. "Last laugh! boo yeah!" I cheered.

May have lost the battle, but I won the war.

After taking a good shower back at home, I went into the kitchen to find Gold Heart snacking on a dandelion sandwich.

"Hey... sorry about all that stuff," I apologized. "This musta been one of the worst dates you've ever had."

"You kidding? That was a blast!" Goldie replied. "Just like being in a Black Mask pursuit, only you and Winter instead of Shadow and Storm!"

"Shadow and Storm?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah, that's what I've always called them. Shadow's the one who always flirts with me. Too bad for him," she said, coming over and kissing me on the cheek, "I'm officially off the market."

I had no idea what to say, but I guess I did something funny, because Gold Heart giggled.
"See ya around, Alex," Goldie said as she left. Baws came in shortly after, and I guess I must have looked as over the moon as I felt.

"Went well?" he asked.

"Went well." I replied before giving him a brohoof.

"Nice. But you still need to apologize to Pastel. I recommend getting her a toy." I said.

Alex looked at me funny. "The hell? Why?" He asked.

"I'm usually forgiving, but no matter how much we're pals, you know family comes first." I said.

He gave a sigh. "Alright then. Tomorrow, I'll get her something." He said.

"Yeah...careful with Gold Heart." I said. That surprised him. Guess he wasn't used to me calling her by her actual name. "She may be a blabber mouth, but she's a smart cookie. That chase we gave was a major hint to her. I wouldn't be surprised if she felt conflicted to take you to jail if she found out."

He stood there, taking in the things I've said.

"Heh, who am I kidding? Maybe she can't figure us out. Night dude." I said. I left, knowing sooner or later...

...this dilenma is going to affect both of them.