This Present Darkness

by Ice Star


...as long as you remain yourself.

Names are important; somewhere inside every creature has something they call themselves, and their truest name hangs within their heart and soul. It is how they fit themselves into a word, a sound to capture their whole self. Such a thing helps forge legacies, for what good is an idol? Without a name, one is in a dysphoric state and lacking a complete identity.

The name could be a word, a mere sound, a memory, or even the feeling of being oneself.

She had a name.

Or, she has... one... two...

Night-Luna!

Lun-mare Moon!

Which is it?

It eludes her as she sits in the sky weaving her key of starlight.

She cannot lose her own name! One of them must be right!

They had meaning, both of them, but only one of them was her.

Only one was right.

If she loses her name, she will lose herself and once you lose yourself you are less than nothing...

Somepony said that to her once. Who were they? Will they still be there? It has been so long.

Will she care?

She has waited so long, she is almost free and now does she risk losing what is most precious to her?

It is like a dream, this limbo. Part of her wished she could dream but she cannot sleep and it has been hard to feel as of late. So there have been no dreams here.

There is only cold. Is that because of her?

But, really how much time has passed? It cannot be too long, surely even a spell such as that could weaken with age, or is her power all the hope she has of ever being set free?

There are two choices. One is right. It should be simple but nothing is ever simple.

Not here.

Which name is first?

Nightmare Moon.

What does it mean?

Wickedness, confidence, laughter, and darkness. That is all she knows of that one; where is the other?

Luna, it is the shorter name, and there is a bitterness to it.

Temper, insight, silence, eccentricity... there should be more.

That really cannot be it, she must remember more!

She cannot, it is too dark and she cannot see anything.

There just has to be more... that is too sparse of an identity, she knows that there has to be more for Luna. Surely somepony cares about Luna? Does nopony remember her?

It is just so hard to tell... and oh, it is been so long...

But now the spell is complete, and in this second she feels the threads of the Element's spell crumble under her own power, which aligned her stars so wonderfully...

...and she still has to pick one.

There just is not enough time to decide! She has waited so long but and at the perfect moment, the one she has been pining for she needs more time?!

No, it simply cannot be. She will have to pick one, at least for now...

In the last seconds before the finalization, she takes another moment of her everlasting life to think.

Laughter sounds nice, so happy. She is sure she remembers happiness, it was nice, was not it?

So she picks the one with laughter and remembers a pink-maned filly laughing alongside the small blue one that must be her, yes, that one is her.

That is happy. Nightmare Moon is happy; that is her choice.

After all, is happiness not what Luna wants?