//------------------------------// // Killing with Friendship // Story: Behind the Scenes // by Opium4TmassS //------------------------------// The paparazzi’s flashbulbs brightened the dimly lit, “off stage area” as Twilight and Kelly along with an army of rent-a-cops tried desperately to make their way to her trailer. As the crowd slowly made its way, the din of questions posed to the purple pony echoed through the surrounding area. Each question made her more frantic until she was practically pushing her way through her own security muttering what looked like, “Move,” repeatedly. In spite of the wrestling match with her stalker, a match that ended up in his arrest, the purple pony still did her best to distance from me by having the rent-a-cops wave me off. It was just as well. Why change our “working” relationship now? Besides, I needed a drink. After two weeks of wandering around Equestria and the show’s set I’d have thought that I could find my way out of here. Sadly, it wasn’t long before I found myself lost in a sea of trailers and what could only be described as set pieces. As I stood there trying to figure out where to go next my pocket began to vibrate. I reached in and pulled out my cell and answered it without checking the number. The voice on the end was familiar gravelly one, “Leon Dawson you scrawny son of a bitch. Why didn’t you tell me you were in Vancouver?” “Tom,” I said quietly, “How’s it going?” Tom Ackerman was a fat bald man who would probably burst into flames if left in the sun for too long and had a penchant for beer and hockey. Some might say that made him a typical Canadian but being I didn’t know that many Canadians I just looked at it as him having good taste. We’d met at a summit that was meant to further our understanding as to how to better enforce laws meant to protect cartoon characters from violence and exploitation. While the conference itself was less than memorable and didn’t go over any new information, the bar crawl afterward was the stuff of legend. If there was one man I wanted at my back in a dark alley it was Tom. “Fine,” said Tom with a chuckle, “I see you’ve gotten into a bit of a scrap on that set over there.” “Yeah well, he had it coming.” “They all do,” replied Tom with a cough as he audibly flipped through some papers, “Well, at least you saved the princess. What do you think they’ll charge him with?” “Assault, carrying a concealed weapon, maybe some stalking charges or some other violations depending on what all you have up here.” “Sounds about normal for Jason Schwartz.” “What do you mean?” Tom detailed a short but notable list of charges that had been brought against Schwartz. Drunk and disorderly popped up a few times as did some assault charges on toons that had been dropped for one reason or another. The last time was at some cartoon strip club named The Animatic with one of the dancers, someone called Jade Lavender who bore a strong resemblance to the current cartoon pony who I’d saved earlier in the day. “So how does he keep getting the charges dropped if he’s such a bad boy?” “I don’t know what the real reason was but, if I had to figure someone leaned on the right people to get them dropped for him.” I sighed audibly and looked at my watch, “Is he still in processing?” “Yeah, they’ll probably run him in front of the night judge and we’ll see what happens from there.” “Think he’ll post bail?” “Likely.” “Well fuck,” I muttered, “Looks like I’ll be here a bit longer.” “Hey we should get a round while you’re still up here schedule permitting I mean.” “Yeah, keep me posted on Schwartz,” I said before we said our goodbyes and I hung up. I’d just pocketed my phone when a familiar voice with a slight southern drawl shouted “Hey you!" I turned and saw the now familiar orange pony walking my way with some vapid blonde surfer guy. Her name was Applejack and I had no idea what his name was. I had seen her on set usually with her hooves around whoever her latest boy toy was. The arm candy wasn’t the only thing she had with her though. Applejack liked her jewelry and her fancy robes. Today it looked like pearls and Chinese silk was the order of the day. “Natori,” I asked pointing at the robe. "Why yes it is," she said. "How did you know?" "Eh, my ex liked expensive things,” I said with a shrug, “Even the clearance section was expensive." “If you like expensive robes you should see the Chinti and Parker I have in the closet,” she said as she nudged her lover, “Raul.” "My name is Richard." "That's nice Raul I want you to head back to the trailer for a bit, me and Leon here need to have a talk." "Dinner conversation isn't a high priority for you," I said watching her conquest obediently walk back to her place. "I’m more interested in the after dinner calisthenics myself," she shot back. "Besides everyone in Equestria knows so why bother hiding it," she said watching him walk away. “Worst kept secret in Equestria.” Applejack turned to me with a sigh, "As beautiful as he is, I truly hope that one day I'll find someone who can last more than five minutes and not play video games right after." "It’s nice to have dreams,” I began, “but I'm sure you didn't just call me here to brag about who you're sleeping with." "True. I just," she said organizing her thoughts, "it’s hard to explain...what do you think of us, specifically Twilight." "I think of she's a typical spoiled starlight. She doesn't like me and I don't much care for her. However, her check cashes so it’s a win-win for both of us," I said, "From what I've seen everyone is here just for a paycheck, no one really likes each other, bordering on outright hatred." "And you would be correct in that. I'm surprised we have kept this a secret for as long as we have, or that it hasn't torn the show apart yet," Applejack said looking down sadly. "It wasn't always like this, when we started we all believed in it, everyone cared about 'My Little Pony'." "I guess we all change over time," I said. "Not like this. When Lauren Faust was around she was an entirely different pony," said Applejack, pausing in thought. "Come to think of it we all were different ponies." "Who?" "She was the one who created us, well her and DHX did but she was the force behind it. Twilight looked to her like she was her mother. The two were inseparable. After she left the show and with what happened between her and Trixie we're not the same as we used to be and it’s getting worse." "You know," I said with a smirk, “psychiatrists sometimes offer discount rates if you all go in together.” "Less sass and more listening," she said with a scowl, "This isn’t right, none of this is right. I remember Christmas a few years ago when Twilight funded a charity food drive for homeless families to visit Equestria and meet their favorite characters for a holiday dinner. Now she screams and calls me a bitch if I forget my lines, the others aren't much better. Pinkie and Rarity don't even hide the fact that they hate the show and are looking for a way out. Rainbow Dash is usually busy clubbing and trying to put anything and everything up her nose. Fluttershy is a walking ball of anger and resentment. I look around and I wonder what went wrong.” “I don’t know. I haven’t been here that long. I’d tell you if I could,” I said dropping the snark, "You mentioned a Trixie? Who’s she?" "The two met when they were reading for the main character of the show," said Applejack. "They were inseparable until season three when they had a huge falling out, something happened that not only got her fired she got kicked out of Equestria as well. She now works at some club called Animatic." "Applejack," shouted Richard leaning halfway out of the door. He was still shirtless and I had a feeling he was without pants now too. For some reason he was now chewing gum and staring at us with the same dazed look that cows get while chewing cud. I had a feeling any moment he would start to moo. "What," screamed Applejack. "The sheets are all sticky from yesterday." "Well then why don't you grab a fresh set from the closet then and change them," she said in annoyance rolling her eyes. I started to say something when Richard popped his head out of the trailer yet again. As if on cue Applejack shouted, “The one next to the bed.” "Oh, he’s a keeper,” I said before returning to the previous subject, “So you’re saying someone is behind all of this.” "Hell I don't know. It seems silly when you say it. It’s as if some dark force is behind the scenes, intentionally sabotaging everything, hell bent on destroying a children’s show. Yet, Equestria has become an ugly place and despite all of this I still care about all of them,” Applejack sighed quietly, “Even if they don't care about me anymore.” Her eyes became overcast and threatened rain. I was never good at helping folks out with their feelings, but I didn't want to leave her alone either. Slowly, I sat down next to her and looked her dead in the eye. “If what you’re saying is true, what would their endgame be?” "Maybe get rid of us,” she said quietly, “Create enough hostility so that the show collapses within itself. I don’t know." "Then do what with a cancelled show?" Applejack wiped her eyes as she glanced about. Unsure what to say I reached into my one of my pocket and pulled out a crushed pack of cigarettes, “Sorry, I guess I’m not any good at this sort of thing.” “Well, you tried,” she said quietly, “That counts for something.” The silence thickened as neither of us could look at the other. Finally Applejack cleared her throat and swished her tail some signaling that she was ready to go. “I’d better get going,” she said in her normal volume, “Raul….” "Richard," he shouted from her trailer. "Whatever," she shot back at the trailer before muttering, “Pain in the ass.” “Well, maybe the next one will be named Raul,” I said standing up. “Maybe,” she said, “And maybe you’re right. Maybe they all did change and I just didn’t notice it. Doesn’t mean they can’t change back though right?” “Well, I guess it doesn’t hurt to hold on to hope,” I said with a shrug, “Even if it is just a part of you.” She smiled up at me. It was the first genuine smile I’d seen in my two weeks there. “Well, if you want to talk about that or anything else at all or for any reason really anytime,” she said as she walked behind me and swatted me on the ass, “I’m a good listener.” My face darkened immediately as I took half a step away from her, “Oh,” I began, “Well, see I have a thing I have to do. Reports and what not about the incident. So, as tempting of an offer as it is I’m afraid I have to decline.” “Some other time then?” My lips said yes, but my mind said no. Yet, as I looked into her eyes there seemed to be a spark. Something beyond the booze and meaningless sex that had taken up the better part of her time since things had started going downhill on the show. Before I left she asked me to think about what we’d talked about in possibly vain hope that the wrong things could be made right again. **** The Princeton Pub was quiet that night but, that suited me just fine. Somewhere between shot five and fifteen I found myself chasing my own dark entities and thinking about what could have been. I sighed quietly and reached for my lighter, forgetting that my cigarettes were sitting at the bottom of a waste basket back on the set. As I fished around for it my fingers touched the torn piece of photo that rested in my pocket. Slowly, I pulled it out and looked at what was on it. From what I could tell it was a picture of Twilight Sparkle at what looked like some tropical vacation resort. Next to her with his arm around her was part of some young guy who, unsurprisingly, I’d never seen before. It was unusual to see Twilight so blissfully happy. It was almost as if she were in love. “Just what makes you so special,” I said to the photo before I got up and staggered out to a waiting cab. I don’t remember when it was I got back to my hotel room. Heck, I didn’t even remember crawling into bed. The one thing that I did know was that the pounding I felt in my head was in rhythm with the pounding coming from the door of my room. Slowly I peeled back an eyelid and shouted at the door, “Go away. I’m-I’m trying to kick Jack Daniels out but he’s being a bastard!” “Damn it Leon,” shouted Tom from the other side of the door, “Get your ass up. There’s trouble brewing.” I crawled out of bed every fiber of my being cursing at me for even bothering to get up. Eventually my crawl became a stagger as I got to the door and opened it, “The Hell do you want at this ungodly hour of, “I looked at the clock across the street, “Eleven in the morning.” “Jesus Leon are you drunk,” asked Tom. “No,” I said flatly, “I was drunk. Now I’m hung over.” “Well, you’d better get some clothes on and come with me.” “Why,” I said shielding my eyes from the sun, “What did I do?” “You asked me to keep you informed on what Jason Schwartz was up to,” said Tom flatly, “Well, I tried calling you but you didn’t answer. So I asked the studio and your purple friend where you were holed up and so here I am to inform you.” “Oh for the love of God,” I muttered, “Let me guess he made bail and did something stupid.” “You could say that,” said Tom, “He’s been murdered.”