//------------------------------//
// Not Fit For Royality 
// Story: Pranknado! (Revised) 
// by Dark Chocolate 
//------------------------------//

	I sit at my table, eating a bowl of cereal. A flash of blue to my left grabs my attention. Luna is back again. Before I can speak, she scrambles up to me. 
"Sugarcube! I need you once more!" A golden crown appears on the table. "You must hide this! It is the...crown of...Zarcon! Yes! Please, you must do this to save my kingdom!" She plants both her hooves on my cheeks, squishing them together so hard, it forces my lips to ooze up and down. "Be the hero that I need!" She says, giving me sad, puppy dog eyes. Her lip trembles, and I'm still completely caught off guard. She steps back a few feet, then waves at me with a giant smile, "Bye!" She vanishes in a flash.
I sit at the table, staring at the golden crown, having no idea what to do. A white flash erupts to my left again, and I sigh with annoyance. A large white pony appears, with light multicolored hair of teal, pink, green and purple. She stares at me for a moment and does her best to seem friendly.
"Hello there, my name is prin- " A black shirt slides off my t.v. and lands on her flank. She starts shrieking, "What is that, what is that!? Get it off!" She can't hear me yelling over her cries, as she bucks wildly. I sit calmly at my table, waiting for her to finish. She destroys my dresser and the t.v. on top, smashes my bookcase, darts across the room still freaking out, manages to put a hoof in every single cabinet, smashing almost all of my dishes. She spins a few times, still kicking her hind legs screaming, and sends my table flying. 
The shirt falls off, landing gently on the floor. She stops kicking, and looks down at the shirt, panting with all her might. She looks over at me, sitting in my chair, with a grumpy expression. She gives me an embarrassed smile, then spots her crown. It vanishes with white light.
We stare at each other awkwardly. She smiles at me weakly, as she uses her hoof to lift one of my chairs upright. She points behind me, "Hey look! A distraction!" I don't turn around. She waits a few seconds before vanishing.

Luna reappears. I greet her with an annoyed sigh. "Sugarcube! Quickly! I've discovered the magical portal of...Zarcon! You must hide it immediately!" A massive dresser appears in the middle of my apartment, with a three foot tall oval mirror attached to the front. I glare at her, "This is a one-room apartment. All my stuff is in shambles and that dresser reaches the ceiling! How do you expect me to hide it?!"
She looks around in shock, "Oh my, what happened?!"
I narrow my eyes, "The white pony destroyed it all. Seems like she was looking for something."
She rolls her eyes, then uses her magic to lift the table back to where it was. "Oh I know! You wouldn't believe the things she's put me through!" My only box of cereal, a bowl, a spoon, and my gallon of milk are whisked from my fridge with magic. 
She pours herself a bowl while complaining, "This one time, it's my birthday right? And I specifically asked for a purple cake. And the cake is blue, and I'm like "Um, that's not purple!" She shoves a small spoon full of cereal in her mouth, "And she's all like "It's purple, it's just a weird shade-" she glares then spits out the cereal, "Ew!" She swipes the bowl to the ground with her hoof. Cereal spills all over the floor, and the bowl rolls across the floor before coming to a stop against the wall. She trots over to my fridge.
I hear her rummaging around. She pulls her head out, carrying various vegetables, mustard and bread to the table. She makes a sandwich while talking, "So anyways, I mean my whole birthday was ruined and everything! I ended up having to tell the Ponytones they had to leave, and I had to return the golden chariot with fireworks and all that!" She watches me casually as she devours her sandwich.
After she's done eating, we sit there quietly. Luna sighs, "So...do you um...have any cake?" I shake my head. She rolls her eyes and vanishes.

The white pony teleports in again, glances at the dresser, and it disappears. She smiles weakly at me, "I um..like your place!" I look around at my destroyed dresser, t.v., bed, cabinets, and the cereal on the ground. After a few awkward seconds, she smiles at me again, "So um..I hear you like sugarcubes!" A flash of white behind me leaves a huge bag of sugarcubes. It's almost as big as I am. "For your trouble!"
I sigh, "I don't really care for sugarcubes."
She looks shocked and raises a hoof to her mouth, "Then why does Luna call you sugarcube?"
I slam my hands on the table angrily, "I don't know! Ask her!"
She waves at me with her hoof, "Well bye!"

I sit up yelling later that night. Something was crawling on my foot. I use the light on my phone to look at the foot of my bed, that was technically more debris at this point. The only thing bigger than the bag of sugarcubes, was the ants crawling all over it and my "Bed". I groan and do my best to go back to sleep.