//------------------------------//
// Patriot 
// Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) 
// by Barrobroadcaster 
//------------------------------//

Dan and the rest of the gang dragged Blueblood and Gust Grasp back to Ponyville. The city looked changed to all of them. It was as if the remains of another city had been destroyed over Ponyville and then rained down upon the town, which could've been true given the circumstances. When they reached the edge of town, they all paused for a long moment, gazing out at it.

"I barely recognize it…" Chrys said.

"Recognize what?" Twilight asked.

"Anything."

"It's gonna be all right," Dan said resolutely. "Gonna take a lot of tape but… we'll fix it. We'll fix all of it."

"We should start with the residential areas first and repair the damage to ponies' homes," Phoenix said. "After that, we work on restoring what we can to the city's infrastructure." (Thank goodness Derpy and those pegasi showed up; we're going to be using them a lot until things get fixed.)

Twilight nodded. "We also should work on clearing the roads," she lowered her head. "I can't help but feel partly responsible for this… the ion cannon made all those ships crash in the first place."

"Would've been worse if we hadn't," Dan said. "Chicken nugget here would've picked the whole town clean."

"He's right, I would have," Gust said, tied up to Chrys' back. "And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids… and your gun."

Dan grabbed the bird by his head plumage. "Another cluck out of you and you'll be in a pot of broth with noodles, comprendo?"

The griffon, upside down, looked up at Dan through still-dazed eyes. "You get that I'm part of a race of mythical creatures, right? All these chicken jokes don't really make any sense."

"Mythical my ass," Dan said, glaring back. "We'll see how mythical your race is when I use you for some homemade Campbell's Chunky."

Gust picked his head up to look at Twilight and the others. "Is this guy going to threaten me every other sentence?"

"Probably," they all said back simultaneously.

"Ah," he laid back again. "So it'll be just like visiting my in-laws. Wonderful."

"They sound like nice folks. Maybe we'll invite them over for soup," Dan said. "After the town's fixed. C'mon," he said to them all, "let's get there before any more wayward chickens show up."

The group got home with ease and were thankful that the library was still unscathed when they arrived. Most of the griffons' wrecked ships were lodged in Blueblood's burned-out skyscrapers and structures or on the ground. Very few of the ponies' houses or residential buildings were damaged but a few had the roofs eaten by trained parasprites. All in all, they were lucky the damage hadn't been worse. Blueblood's tacky designs combined with sheer dumb luck had saved Ponyville from destruction.

Blueblood regained consciousness just as soon they neared the Golden Oakes. "I… don't think I've ever been quite as delighted to see a library before," the prince said, tied to Shining Armor's back. "I'll have to commission somepony to build more of them."

"As soon as you're done paying off the damage to the town," Twilight quickly said. "We're going to need supplies, materials and equipment. I'm sure what's left of your monarchy can pay for it."

The prince smiled. "My dear Princess Twilight, a gentlecolt always picks up his tab."

"We'll be sure to remember that when we come across one," Dan said flatly. It drew a few chuckles from the others, including Gust. "For now, you'll be picking up the check for this mess."

They noticed a crowd surrounding the library as they came close. As they neared the entrance, they began to hear a familiar voice projected to the gathered ponies.

"…and as to the question if something like this could've been avoided, I believe we all know the answer." None of the audience did; ponies looked at each other, asked and shrugged.

"Motherbucker," Dan said.

"Is that-" Chrys asked.

"Yeah," Twilight said. "I think it is."

"MOTHERBUCKER!!!!!" Dan yelled. He broke into a sprint and rounded the library to the front entrance, the others hastening to catch up to him.

"You all know- we all know, that we can do better. That we DESERVE better, don't we? And if the princesses cannot deliver, then it is time for somepony who can. Somepony we can trust."

"VICE GRIPPPPP!!!" Dan rushed the scientist while his back was turned and dove at him.

"Or at the very least somepony who isn't so predictable." Dan flew through the space Vice had been occupying and crashed into the dirt. When the dust cleared, Vice had his boot on Dan's neck again. "Stupidly predictable."

But Dan was ready for him. He grabbed the stallion's coattails and ripped them down. "AHHH!" Vice fell onto his back and for a brief second, the two were fighting in the dirt in front of the library.

"ENOUGH!" Vice yelled. He technoported to the side, Dan technoported with him but the scientist used the brief moment to dislodge him. Dan was pushed off and the lab coat ripped in his hand, a portion still in the human's grip. "You bucking sociopathic savage!"

"You're one to talk," Dan said back, throwing the scrap of cloth on the ground. "You're the only one around here that's predictable! Every time we turn around, you're trying to brainwash everypony with your big 'I have a scheme' speech! No one's buying your better mousetrap BS, douchebag!"

"HA!" Gust laughed. "I like this guy now!"

"Vice Grip!" Twilight stepped forward, "You've committed acts of war against Equestria! Against the Crystal Empire, against my family… and against me." She turned to Dan. "I think it's time you were taken off your high horse. Captain Dan, arrest Vice Grip."

The human grinned. "With pleasure, Twilight. With undo pleasure."

A purple shield enveloped the bipedal stallion. Dan advanced, edging closer to him with the most delightfully sadistic grin. The shield might as well have been a revenger's red carpet, the candy store of retribution. Sweet justice, sweet vengeance inside.

Not to be. Vice stared at the approaching human, a disappointed look in his eyes. He sighed. "Pathetic. And to think I had such high hopes for all of you." He technoported again to just in front of the shield. Dan jumped forward, lunging again at the scientist. Vice held up a metal hand and a beam shot out from his palm. In an instant, Dan had stopped in midair. Another energy shield, this one steel-gray, had enveloped them all.

He clasped his hands behind his back and approached them all slowly. Behind him, many of the ponies had gotten out popcorn. Trixie was in the background snapping photos from a disposable camera.

"I'm going to spell this out for all of you: your one-tricks have gotten old, my little ponies," Vice said to each of them. "There is nothing you have in your magical arsenal that I can't duplicate through science, no spell I can't reverse engineer and no feat of arcanist idiocy that I replicate and make available for the masses," he approached Dan, got to eye level with him and put a single metal finger on his head "So, you've heard the speech and now you're getting the free demonstration. How's that for a better mousetrap?" He smashed the human to the ground using the strength of one digit.

"Arv een etter," Dan said, his entire body in energized stasis.

Vice turned around to the audience. "Besides, I wasn't asking you. Now, Ponyville, you've seen the damage that faith in magic, that faith in humans has caused. I'm asking you now to give me a chance…. give the future a chance. Equestria has been under the princesses' rule for centuries. Don't you feel you deserve a say in the matter?"

The crowd exchanged glances again. They talked amongst themselves. No longer puzzled but clearly with mixed views, they discussed things side-by-side. Friends, families, the entire town was in dialogue.

Mayor Mare stepped forward. "Mr. Vice Grip, what exactly is it you're asking? What is it you want?"

Vice smiled. "What I'm suggesting, dear mayor, is that Equestria finally make some real progress. We restore the office of Chancellor- an elected position by which a representative is chosen by all citizens of Equestria. And that you allow me to protect the town. My machines, my stable technology instead of all of this excessive, destructive and uncontrollable insanity," he said, loud enough for everypony to hear. "The magic-users will still be allowed to practice their parlor tricks. But when it came to defending and leading Equestria, it would be left to all of us here. The real power of Equestria."

The mayor thought for a long time. The crowd was silent. "You're asking us to choose between them… and you," she said.

The scientist nodded. "Look around you, mayor. Ponyville is in ruin because of one princes' decision. The destruction was worsened because of the rash and destructively irresponsible actions of one house's security system. One pony's decision and one man's… unstable, overzealous defense nearly destroyed your town. What reason could you possibly have to keep confidence in him?"

The mayor looked down at the ground. It was a decision bigger than her, bigger than any one pony. She looked across the way, beyond Vice at Dan and the others. Their faces were frozen in stasis but she could tell they were all listening, all watching her. Every eye was on all of them. Every eye was on Ponyville.

And Vice Grip grinned again. "Come now, mayor," he outstretched his hand. "You know what the right decision is. Do what's best for Ponyville."

She nodded solemnly. The older mare, glasses heavy on her brow, walked resolutely across the street. She walked right towards Vice Grip.

"Yes. You know this is the right choice," Vice said, reaching for her, palm open.

"I do," Mayor Mare said as she walked right past him. She walked right up to Dan and propped him up. Touched by another pony, the forcefield enveloping them dissipated.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm making my decision, Mr. Vice Grip," she said. "I stand with Dan." Other ponies began crossing the street to join her. Very quickly, the crowd changed positions and was now encircling the library. Every pony in Ponyville save Vice Grip was now by the Golden Oakes.

"What?" Vice asked, confused. Trixie walked by him quickly and snapped a photo right in his face. He was blinded by the flash. "AUUGH!"

The magician scoffed at Vice Grip. "Your demonstrations lack showmanship, Mr. Grip. You could learn a thing or two from the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"AAAG! MY EYES!" Vice said, rubbing his eyes. Blinking, he finally saw the crowd assembled opposite him. "What the hell is all this?"

"It's our decision, Vice," the mayor said. "No one forced any of us to do it. We've all made our choice, though. Each one of us, everypony has decided. Despite all you've said, everything that's happened, we stand with Dan."

The scientist was dumbfounded. "Seriously? After all of this… when you know I can give you something better? When you know I can give you the FUTURE you deserve, where you will finally be heard, where you will finally be safe! WHAT IS WORTH MORE THAN THAT?!!"

"What we've got," Dan said, getting up. "Freedom… friendship… trust."

Twilight stepped forward. "Dan might be unstable, he might be dangerous, he may even be crazy… but he's our kinda crazy!" she yelled. The others shouted a resounding "Yeah!" in agreement.

"Dan had the courage to defend our town," Phoenix declared. "He stood, we all stood up for Equestria when all you're trying to do is tear us down. He cares more about Equestria than you do."

Chrys nodded. "He may be unorthodox… magic itself might be unorthodox sometimes. But we trust ourselves and those that use it, Dan, Twilight and everypony else, to give it their all for Equestria. That's why we trust them and why we always will!"

The mayor looked around at all of them. A few ponies in the audience cheered, a few set off fireworks but they were all in agreement. She looked back at Vice Grip. "Well, there you have it, Mr. Vice Grip. We trust Dan to defend us because he's willing to do anything for us."

"That's right!" Dan shouted. "And I'll do everything for everypony, too! Even the stuff that nopony thought anypony could do! And I'll do it twice just to prove a point, a third time for no reason at all and a fourth time to put a point on the point that was proven and then prove that point just to prove the point of the point that was proven! AND THEN A FIFTH TIME IF I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!"

"Mmm, you can do whatever you want to me, Dan," Chrys purred. "I'd love to see you prove all your points."

"And we choose to put our faith in magic and the princesses because it is our way, Vice Grip," the mayor continued. "Just because it doesn't always work the way we want it to doesn't mean it's not a good system. It's far from perfect but it suits us just fine. What we have works for us."

Vice Grip glared at all of them. He said absolutely nothing but his mechanical fists balled.

"So, I'm going to make this very easy for you," Dan said. He signaled Spike who was already at the controls in the library with Fluffle Puff. Blast Fuse and Blast Powder too aim with a tomato launcher, ready to literally paint the target. Together, the five of them marked the spot where Vice was standing and the Ion Cannon aimed down at the mad scientist. "Get. Off. My. Lawn."

Vice looked at each pony individually. They weren't confused now, weren't questioning. They stared back at him, some smiled but they were all resolute. They had made their decision. Ponyville stood with Dan and the Golden Oakes.

"You are all fools. You want to stay with your heads in the clouds, heads in the sand, heads in your foolish, ridiculous little tomes, than fine!" Vice said angrily.

"Better than where your head is," Twilight said. Her brother and Cadence slapped her hooves in approval.

But Vice smiled again. "Well, it is your decision, after all. But you might want to check in with the other cities."

And just like that, they were all confused again and concerned. "Other cities?"

He nodded. "Phillydelphia, Manehattan, Las Pegas and that's just the start. You didn't honestly think I was going to let a single, insignificant little burg like this decide the fate of Equestria, did you?" he laughed. "You can't beat the future, Dan. You'll always be a step behind."

Dan fired the ion cannon at point-blank. A large, blue beam hit the ground where Vice was standing and exploded in a ball of lightning. Tomatoes and bags of popcorn were thrown at it along with a cameo from Tom. The stallion was gone and the only thing that any of them heard was his laughter, echoing in the distance.

"Holy crap," Gust said, breaking the silence. "That guy's like Houdini… if Houdini was like an asshole used car salesman." Nobody disagreed.

"What do we do now?" a pony asked.

"What can we do? The town's a wreck."

"I have relatives in Manehattan… should I be worried?"

"Are we going to have to fix that next?"

"I know exactly what we're going to do," Dan said. He turned around to stand before them all. "We're going to fix up the town. Gust, for the time being, we're using your donut ship as a temporary Cloudsdale."

"Do I get a say in this?"

"NO!"

"Okie dokie…"

"How are we going to fix the town?" Twilight asked. "Should we use any debris from the ships?"

Dan shook his head. "No. We rebuild Ponyville just the way it was and Cloudsdale, too. Cloudsdale's made out of clouds, right? Well, we take some of the water from the lake, heat it up with those laser-thingies on Gust's ships and we get steam. Gather it up and slowly form it into clouds and we slowly build back Cloudsdale piece by piece."

"That's a great idea, Dan," Chrys said. "We can use the main griffon ship as a spoke to build the new city around it."

"It'll just be temporary until we get the old Cloudsdale back, wherever they've taken it," Dan said. "Now, let's get to work! We've got a town to fix!"

And so, they did. Piece by piece, brick by brick and building by building, they rebuilt Ponyville just the way it was. Blueblood's buildings and modifications were removed, the grass returned to its original color. Using airships, helicopters and Dan's MY-Wing, they built new clouds and towed them into position around the All of My Yes. With their sky marshal captured and tied to a chair in the library's kitchen, they were in no position to disagree. Before long, Ponyville and a temporary Cloudsdale were ready and restored to their former glory.

"All right," Dan said, wiping his hands after an 80s-stype buildin' stuff montage, "you griffons are going to function as a weather service until we find out where the rest of our pegasi are. You know what's going to happen to you chickens if you disagree?"

The entire pirate griffon congregation swallowed collectively. "Soup?"

Dan nodded. "Soup's on. You do what Derpy says when she says it or Thanksgiving comes early."

They all turned around and flew off to their deployments. "What's a "thanksgiving"?" 

"Shut up and fly, Becky."

As Dan watched them fly off, Derpy swooped down to ground level. "Heya Dan."

"Oh, hey Derpy. I'm sure you could make some of your new employees/prisoners bake muffins if you wanted them, too."

"Yeah, I probably could!" Derpy said, giggling happily. "But hey, me and Edge wanted to give you something," she said, and hoofed him a package.

"What is it?" Dan said, opening it. "It's not more mail baked into a pastry, is it?" He pulled it out and realized it was thin, some kind of sash.

"It's a gift," Derpy said. "Kind of like an award. Since there isn't really a Cloudsdale right now, we figured you should have it… you know, for working so hard to protect the skies."

Dan held it up. It read in bold:

In Recognition of a True Patriot- Big Boss

He had to read it twice. "Gee, Derpy… I don't know what to say. Thank you."

The gray mailmare giggled. "Aww, you're welcome, Danno."

"What does Big Boss mean?"

Derpy held out the sash. "It's a title. We don't have a commander any more but we figured you needed a title since you were kind of like our commander now. And it's a callsign- you're the boss now!"

"Big Boss?" Dan repeated. "How about we just stick with Dan?"

"Haha, sure thing, D-Boss!"

"Derpy, that's not gonna work either. Hey, GET BACK HERE! DERPY!!!" he yelled as the mare flew away.

Twilight and Chrys looked out over Ponyville as teams rebuilt it. From the roof of the library, the town seemed to stretch out in every direction, covering the land. The library felt like the heart of something huge, something they were all a part of. After Dan was done chasing Derpy, he joined them along with the rest of the gang on the roof of the Golden Oakes Library.

"Things are looking up," Twilight remarked. Even with the massive airship surrounded by clouds, the burnt remains of ships clustered around the outskirts, she was optimistic. "Things are back on track finally."

Chrys nodded in agreement. "It's thanks to the team. It's thanks to all of us, even Blueblood in his own way."

They all nodded. "Sometimes, it doesn't matter who's in charge," Phoenix said. "We can all work together to make our home a better place. When we do that, we all lead and guide Equestria to a brighter future."

They all gathered together, shoulder to shoulder. "The only question now is," Blast Fuse said, "where do we go from here?"

"Please say we go to war. Please say we go to war!"

Dan smiled. "We took their best shot and we've come up standing. It's time for us to hit back now."

They all looked at him. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

His smile only grew wider. "My friends, it's payback time!" he rose a fist in the air and shouted, "VICE GRIP!!!"






Next time on Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship… war comes to Equestria!



"They have more guns, they have more troops and they have Magic Gear! What do we have?!"

"WE HAVE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!!!!!!!!"

"Not for long if you keep yelling!"

"CHARGE!!!"

And it's a war unlike any other

"If we don't make it back, I want Blueblood to go next because nobody likes him."

Brother against brother...

"Why do you have a fraternity paddle?!"

"I'M GOING TO KILL THEM WITH A FRATERNITY PADDLE!!"

"That explains so much… nothing at all."

But in order to even start it, they'll need the help from somepony who knows the way.

"This is sacred ground!"

"And fire is sacred, too!"

"STOP BURNING THE SACRED GROUND!"

Next Saturday, Dan strikes back!

"Everypony, hop on the revenge train!"

"Which one is the revenge train and which one of them has the four-and-a-half tons of TNT?"

"I'll give you a hint, Nicky: there's only one train."

"*gulp*"

Episode 14: Operation Sucker Puch- Dan Vs. Daring Do! Next Saturday, the war for Equestria's future begins with a first strike! Freedom never takes a step back on Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship!

"You know there's a soda named after you?"

Only on FIMFiction.net